AN: I'm sorry it's been so long guys; real life is being unnecessarily cruel. As always, thanks a lot for all your feedback :) Keep it coming please, cybercookies on offer! This chapter's a slightly awkward balance...you'll understand when you read it.

Lyrics and title from Scars by Anna Nalick.

the sky is falling
i'm not going home without you
i'll save your life
 not going home without you
i'll make this right
and wait all night if that's what it takes

"They think they've found where they're keeping Tessa and Jem."

Will's heart skipped a beat and he slammed the book he'd been reading down on the table and looked up at Charlotte who was hovering in the doorway. "Where?" he demanded.

Gabriel who was sitting across from him, Church in his lap, looked up.

It had been almost a week since Tessa and Jem had been taken by the Magister. Charlotte had called in every Downworlder she'd ever met and begged them to help search for them, the Enclave had put the London Institute on lockdown. This was the second time demons had broken in and the Enclave weren't convinced Benedict was the only traitor. Sophie was awake now but she was still bed bound and Gideon wouldn't leave her side.

"A country house, in Essex." Charlotte replied.

Will stood up, "Well let's go!"

"Will, we can't. The Clave are still voting on what to do. If we disobey again..." she trailed off, one hand unconsciously going to her stomach. She'd lost Henry; she didn't want to lose anything else. But Will couldn't just sit and do nothing. "Will you have to understand, if we disobey once more who knows what will happen!"

"How can they decide that Jem and Tessa aren't worth saving?" Will raged. "Who gave them that right?"

"They said that because the Magister would most likely not be there it wasn't worth it." Charlotte said quietly, looking away.

"Charlotte, I can't just leave them there!" Will cried.

"I know," she said quietly. "Be careful, okay?"

For a moment Will just stared at her. She was giving him permission to leave; if she was caught she could lose everything. He strode over to her and hugged her tightly, "I'll bring them back to us, I promise, Charlotte."

She squeezed him back. "You better, Will." When she let him go she smiled at him, "It's going to be a long journey, by carriage it'd take almost a day but you'll have to walk. I'll get you a map, go and get your things together. You have to leave quickly."

Will nodded and sprang from the room hurrying upstairs to gather his gear. He'd have to travel light if he was walking all that way, so he only packed his essentials. Some blades, his dagger, a witch light stone, a flask of water, a few scraps of food, a few medical supplies. Now he only needed to pack some of Jem's medicine. He stood up, intending to head into Jem's room to get some when he realised he was being watched.

Gabriel was leaning casually on his door frame, green eyes clouded with thoughts. In the past week Will had begun to tolerate the older boy but now he snapped, "What do you want, Lightwood?"

There was still part of Will that blamed him for all of this. If they had closed their doors Tessa and Jem might still be here. Gabriel probably wouldn't be though. Every time Will looked at him he couldn't help but remember those injuries, how pale he'd looked, how terrified Tessa had been when she'd gone through his memories. Will pretended not to hear when Gabriel had nightmares; it was just easier that way.

Gabriel ran a hand through his brown hair, "This is my fault," He said quietly, "So I'm coming with you, Will."

Will thought about denying him but he knew Gabriel would come anyway. He stood up, "You don't have any gear."

"I'll borrow Gideon's." Gabriel said and there was a tone of defiance in his voice, an unspoken challenge and Will couldn't help but smile at it.

"Be ready in ten minutes."

Gabriel blinked in surprise and Will pushed passed him to get Jem's medicine.

When he got downstairs Charlotte was waiting beside the door, a map clutched in her hands. To Will's surprise Gideon and Gabriel stood beside her, Gabriel packed and ready and Gideon looking decidedly ill at ease. Will felt sorry for him; Sophie was still teetering on the boundaries of life and death and Gabriel had only recently healed, still he knew Gideon wouldn't come with them, he'd stay with Sophie. Will knew if it had been Tessa or Jem lying upstairs half dead he wouldn't leave either.

"Ready?" Charlotte asked, smiling weakly. Will nodded and Gideon growled, "If you let anything happen to my brother, Herondale, I will kill you."

"Now, now, Gideon. I'm sure Gabriel is perfectly capable of looking after himself," Will smirked.

"Yes, thank you William. I am."

Tessa clutched Jem too her as tightly as she could. His heart beat dully against her hand where she had it on his chest. He's still alive, he's still alive. It had been a week, Jem should have been dead, but he wasn't. They hadn't seen the Magister but the demons had started getting creative.

Tessa hadn't left their cell for days. Jem was taken from her every day. She didn't know what they did to him, he wouldn't tell her, but she heard his cries. He cried in mandarin and she didn't understand it but she wished she did.

"I think it's you," he'd panted through bloodied lips. "I think-I think I'm still alive because of you, Tessa. I think you're doing something." She'd shushed him. She wasn't doing anything consciously but what other explanation could there be?

"You should run," he choked as she cleaned the worst of the blood from his face. His beautiful face. "You could do it, Tessa. Change into someone strong and then when they come for me..."

"Jem," she cut him off, already feeling the beginnings of tears. This was an almost nightly conversation. "I'm not leaving you here."

"You should though," he insisted, hands coming up to cup her face. "You could get away, Tess. I'm half dead anyway. They won't hurt you, they know he wants you. Please, Tessa just run."

"Jem, stop. I'm not going anywhere. They're coming for us, you know that."

Jem sighed and quieted, allowing her to clean the rest of the blood of his face. "I love you, Tessa." He said quietly. "I'm sorry for all this."

"Jem don't pretend for one minute this is your fault. It isn't. If it's anyone it's mine for coming to London in the first place, for Nate..."

He caught her hand in his. "It'll be okay," he said, smiling slightly, silver eyes warm. And Tessa knew it wouldn't be but when Jem said it she could almost believe him.

"I love you, James." She said softly.

They had just got outside of London, two hours and a half's walk through winding alley ways and smoky side streets and Will's legs ached already. "Let's take a break," he called to Gabriel who was a little way ahead of him (he had longer legs, okay?)

Gabriel turned back, smirking slightly. "Tired already, Herondale?" he quipped though Will could see he was slightly out of breath.

Will made an obscene gesture and sat down heavily in the long grass on the side of the road. He watched as Gabriel took a long drink from his flask, perhaps the older shadow hunter wasn't so bad after all. That wasn't to say that Will actually liked Gabriel though, he was just grateful for his help.

Will felt slightly giddy and he wasn't sure why.

"Do you remember once, Gabriel, that you said you thought we could be friends?" Will said as they began walking again.

Gabriel frowned at him. "Not really."

"Of course you do, Gabe."

Gabriel wrinkled his nose. "It's Gabriel." He growled.

"Gideon calls you Gabe." Will pointed out.

"Gideon is my brother."

"Whatever," Will said flippantly. "Anyway, what I was going to say was that I've given it much consideration. And I've come to the conclusion that I would like to accept your offer and become friends with you on the grounds that should I die here I'd much rather do it with a distraught friend beside me than an awkward enemy."

Gabriel snorted and Will thought he was trying not to laugh. "Well at least your sense of humour hasn't been affected by all this. And what, pray tell, makes you think I'd want to be your friend, Herondale?"

Will smiled despite himself, Tessa and Jem are missing and you're joking about with Gabriel Lightwood."Who wouldn't want to be my friend?" Will said dramatically. "I mean look at me."

This time Gabriel smiled. "You are so strange," he said shaking his head. "But I am afraid that I must decline your request on the grounds that I believe you to be quite mentally unsound."

"You should smile more often," Will said quietly without quite knowing why. "It suits you."

Gabriel blushed. "Will-" he began but they were interrupted by a voice from behind them.

"My," Magnus Bane purred grinning fiendishly, "This is interesting. A Herondale and a Lightwood."

"Magnus!" Will snapped, slightly annoyed at the warlock though not quite sure why. "What are you doing here?"

"Charlotte contacted me after you'd left. Asked me to keep an eye on you," he said, still smiling devilishly. "Besides, I like Tessa. I'd like to help find her."

"Can't you just transport us there?" Gabriel asked, hopefully.

"I'm a warlock, shadow hunter, not a flying carpet." Magnus said, eyeing Gabriel angrily. "Now, we better get going then."

Will glanced once at Gabriel whose gaze was now fixed firmly on the dirt track they were following and began walking.

Jem's eyes were closed, his breathing shallow. Tessa hadn't eaten in days, her head was pounding. She kept trying to change, someone strong to break down the door, to save them both. But every time she settled on someone they slipped away from her, like sand through splayed fingers.

"Jem?" she rasped, throat dry from thirst (she'd been forcing the water on Jem to keep him hydrated.) "Jem?"

He lifted his head slightly and when he spoke she felt his bone deep weariness. "Yes, love?"

"Just hold on, okay?" she said, biting her lip. "Hold on, okay, Jem?"

He reached up weakly and stroked her cheek, "For you, Tessa, of course I will."

They had lit a fire and stopped for the night, Will had no idea how long they had been walking but all of them were exhausted. Will had wanted to keep going, Tessa and Jem needed him but he couldn't. He couldn't sleep either, every time he closed his eyes he imagined Tessa crying, Jem bleeding. Jem dead.

He sighed and sat up. Magnus was curled up snoring loudly and Gabriel was sitting awake, staring pensively in to the flames. Will moved to sit closer to the fire and looked over at the older shadow hunter. "What are you thinking about?" he asked quietly for lack of anything else to say.

Gabriel glanced up at him briefly. "Things," he said coldly. Then he sighed and closed his eyes. "Christopher mostly."

"Oh," Will said. He knew a little about Christopher Morgenstern, he knew he and Gabriel had been near inseparable. He'd always wondered why the two had never become parabatai.

"Before he-before he died I went looking for him," Gabriel said vacantly. "Like we're doing now."

Will almost flinched at those implications, Christopher had been found dead. "Tessa and Jem will be alive." He said quickly. They'll be okay, they'll be fine.

Gabriel looked unconvinced.

"They will be, Gabriel. You don't know them like I do, they'll be okay."

Gabriel swallowed, "I'm sorry, Will." He whispered. "This is my fault, I should've just...I should have just died."

"Gabriel..." Will began.

"If I had died they'd be fine." He said unsteadily.

Will wanted to point out that the Magister probably would have found a way to get to Tessa eventually anyway and he hated himself for thinking that. He had no idea what to say. He shifted closer to Gabriel and touched his arm gently. Gabriel tensed.

"It's not your fault, Gabriel." Will said calmly.

Gabriel laughed hollowly and shook his head, as though Will had no idea what he was talking about. He looked back to the fire. "It would have been Christopher's birthday today." He said in a voice so quiet it was barely a whisper.

For a moment Will was confused then he saw the way Gabriel's hand was fisted in the material of his trousers, the way his jaw was clenched and the way he was blinking back tears. Oh. Oh. He remembered Jem trying to explain to him just how close Gabriel and Christopher had been, he hadn't understood it at the time but now...

"I'm sorry," Will said, because that's what you were meant to say in these situations and then he said, "I'm in love with Tessa."

Gabriel looked at him.

"I'm in love with Tessa," he repeated. "And she's marrying Jem."

"Oh," Gabriel said, looking away. Will watched the way the flickering light played across Gabriel's skin, the way it made his eyes seem smoky green rather than their usual clear green. He realised he still had his hand on Gabriel's arm and without thinking he pulled the older boy closer to him so they were leaning on each other.

"What are you doing?" Gabriel asked dryly, watching Will closely.

Will shrugged and licked his lips. "I have no idea."

And my reflection shows we're clinging to dear life
but I won't let us go we'll make it through all right