Hello and thank you for all the alerts/favorites! I'd also like to thank my Beta Keshobesho.

This chapter is like the last one just from Merlin's POV and with a little extra. :)

I hope you enjoy my story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.

CHAPTER TWO

Merlin POV

This was going to take a long time. The amount of books that I needed to go through to find the correct spell was innumerable. Without the use of magic I would never find it. Thanking the heavens that Gaius was out today I sat on the floor. With a small, traitorous smile which could only come from doing something that I wasn't supposed to I sat down and felt my eyes burn gold.

Even with the help of my magic this was still going to take a while. Trying to find a particular spell that would allow me to transport to a specific place was tricky. Although the thought had crossed my mind to just make one up, the warning I had gotten from Gaius when I voiced this suggestion made me rethink my plan.

Flashback

Throwing my hands up in defeat I looked over at my guardian, and although I never really referred to him as such, my uncle. This was what seemed like the millionth time that he had told me to be careful, to not use my magic. It was becoming just slightly frustrating. I would save Arthur and get nothing in return, not that I asked for anything, but after a while it's hard to not become just the slightest bit bitter at having to hide who you really are from those you love.

"That's why I came to you with this. I wasn't going to do the spell without knowing the risks." I couldn't help but feel hurt that Gaius still thought me so reckless when it came to something as important as my magic. Although I did sometimes use it when it wasn't strictly necessary it was hard not to do so. I was magic, not using it felt like one of my limbs had been cut off. When I was suppressing my magic it was like I had lost one of my senses.

"I know." Gaius replied with a small sigh barely escaping him. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

I smiled slightly at how much Gaius cared for me. "You know me Gaius, I'm always careful."

The words were meant to ease his mind. I didn't know if I did a good job when I saw the look of concern just intensify on his face.

"You must promise me to not try anything like that spell you were going to do. Magic like that hasn't been tried and even with your enormous power, I don't know what would happen," his words were somewhat rushed. "You cant take the risk of using that type of magic."

His words hung in the air, weighing it down. Scenarios were spinning through both of our minds as we considered the possibilities of what may happen if I used a spell and it all went horribly wrong. If I disregarded his warning and continued on with my experiment. There were happy endings in sight, but also death.

"Please, promise me you won't do anything reckless."

There was that word again, reckless. I was starting to believe that that was how everyone saw me. Just some reckless idiot. Although it was probably better that way for most, Gaius thinking the same hurt. He knew what I did and why I did it. If even he thought I was being a reckless idiot, perhaps no one really understood me at all.

But my uncle did understand me. He knew what I did. He knew what I had been through. He understood why I did what I did. Perhaps he didn't really understand how it had felt, how it still feels to be the last of your kind. To have nobody truly like you, but he did understand me. He worried for me and that was something that I would never take for granted. I didn't want him to worry for me as much as he did, but I couldn't very well stop him from doing so.

I smiled at my guardian, my chest filling with love. "I promise."

My words were full of conviction. I would keep this promise until I had no other choice than to break it.

"I wasn't going to do the spell without your permission anyways."

"Thank you, Merlin." my uncle intoned quietly, a small smile playing at his lips.

-End of Flashback-

The books whirled around me slowly. Or at least to my eyes. Time had slowed down at my will and now although I had already gone through 4 books, it had been less than 5 minutes.

It was easy enough to maintain this type of magic. The type of magic which was most instinctive to me. The type that I had been using ever since I can remember.

Even with time slowed down the process was taking longer than I had intended it to. Perhaps slowing down time wasn't the best option for this kind of work.

Time resumed its normal pattern around me as a plan hatched in my brain. Everything that went through my mind seemed to be a plan. Whether it was just the order in which I was going to do the chores assigned to me by His Royal Pratness or the way I was going to try to save that same man.

I decided to stick to instinctive magic for the time being. I was already beginning to feel more and more myself by using this magic, why not let my true self come out even more fully. Let the magic which resided within me take a bit of control. Let the magic which was me take over.

The books still spun in a circle around me, a single look from me caused one of the books to come forward and bob slightly in front of me. With a wave of my hand the pages began to turn and my eyes quickly scanned each page, searching.

After several more minutes of this I began to wonder if I was ever going to find what I was looking for. I continued to flip the pages, I was so absorbed I didn't notice the creak of a door opening. I did hear the shocked gasp that followed.

I turned abruptly, already inwardly berating myself for not locking the door with magic. As my now gold eyes met chocolate brown orbs I stiffened, my magic ceasing. The books which had been granted my full attention for what seemed like so long, now clattered to the floor forgotten.

I didn't know what to do. This was never supposed to happen. To go through so much, so many times when I used magic to save and to be discovered because I had forgotten to lock the door. If I wasn't so afraid of what was going to happen I may have laughed.

I finally found my voice, realizing that I had just been staring at her. "Gwen…it's…not what you think?"

My voice betrayed me. I never could lie and by the look on her face, she obviously saw right through me. I didn't really think that was going to work but I had to give it a shot. Lying about who I was had been ground into me since the day I was born.

"Then what is it?" she asked, her voice calm. If I was more myself perhaps I would've noticed that her voice held no malice, only curiosity. Perhaps I would've noticed that her eyes seemed gentle and understanding. Problem is I wasn't myself.

"Well…" I began rather meekly even to my own ears. What could I say to her? Did I have to spout a lie which would be looked at suspiciously? Did I have to hide who I was even when the truth was obvious? When the truth was seen? Did I still have to hide?

If I did tell her how was she going to react? I sighed, it didn't really matter, I needed to tell her now. No more lies. "Yes. I'm a Warlock." as soon as the words were out of my mouth I felt my shoulders relax. A weight that I had had for so long had been released.

I looked up at Gwen, finally meeting her eyes. I thought I saw something akin to fear flickering through her eyes. I quickly back tracked. "But I would never do anything to harm Camelot or anyone else!" the words left my mouth quickly, begging for understanding. "I promise."

This vow, was slightly wrong. I would have to harm people, but it was true in the sense that I would do everything in my power to stop it from coming to that. I did not enjoy harming others. It made me slightly ill to even think about it. Yet, I would do anything to protect those who needed it.

Gwen must've heard the desperation in my voice for when she responded, her voice was soft and soothing. "Merlin, calm down. It's okay. I never thought you were evil." I looked up at her when she said this. She sounded so sure, so kind. I didn't understand how she could so easily trust me.

"But, why didn't you tell me you were a Sorcerer?" her voice wasn't angry, just hurt. I felt something close to hope fill me. Could that really be all she was upset about? The fact that I had kept this from her. Not that I was a Warlock.

"I couldn't," the words came out softer than I intended them to. I let my head fall as I spoke, ashamed at myself for not trusting Gwen. "If anyone had found out I would've been put to death. I know that I can trust you and I wanted to tell you but…I suppose it was just too big of a risk." The excuses sounded weak and dull on my tongue.

There was a palpable pause in the air. Neither of us spoke for a while. My shame burned in my chest and eyes. Tears almost threatened to fall, but I wouldn't let them.

"It's alright Merlin, I understand and trust me you have nothing to fear, I would never turn you in." As she said the words I couldn't help but snap my head up to look at her. To look at this amazing friend who was so caring. Searching her face all I saw was honesty and love. My lips twitched and before long a huge smile had filled my face and the hope that had been growing in my chest burst and filled my whole body.

"Thank you so much Gwen." I tried to put as much emotion in my words as I could to assure her that what I said was true. "You have no idea what that means to me." The next thing I knew I was hugging her, trying to get across my emotions with more than just words.

As I hugged her my emotions settled slightly and as they did I realized that I had been holding Gwen tightly to me for at least a minute. I pulled back casting my eyes downward and bringing my hand to the back of my head in an unconscious gesture. "Um, sorry." I began awkwardly. "I…I just didn't really know how anyone would react to knowing I had magic."

The statement was true. I had fretted over the reactions of my friends to this reveal ever since I had come to Camelot. I had imagined so many different ways that this could have gone down. I had imagined the ones where I had died with hate filled eyes staring at me. The eyes belonging to those I thought of as friends. I had also imagined a version where they understood. Where they excepted me for who I was. I couldn't believe that what had actually occurred was the latter. I had always thought that was just a fantasy.

"Does anyone else know about you?" Gwen asked, curiosity filling her features.

All I could do was sigh. I knew this question was coming. "Only Gaius." I knew I could trust Gwen not to turn him in for knowing about me. "And my mother of course." The last statement came out as more of an afterthought if anything. The next thought filled my mind with dread. What if Gwen did feel the need to tell someone? "You can't tell Arthur, if he found out-" images of what could happen filled my mind. Maybe I wasn't giving Arthur enough credit, yet I didn't want to take the chance that my fears of what he would do would come true.

"You don't have to worry Merlin. I won't tell anyone. Even Arthur." I relaxed as she promised, knowing that Gwen was a woman of her word. She would not betray me. "Of course, if you want to tell anyone I wouldn't be in your way either." I couldn't help but laugh slightly at her words, of all the reactions I had imaged I had never suspected such a warm welcome. Such an understanding from the very start. Once again I felt my chest warm.

"Thanks Gwen…maybe I will someday." Maybe I would. I knew that one day I would eventually have to reveal who I was, but perhaps that day could be sooner rather than later.

"Well, if that day comes I'll fully support you."

The warm feeling that had been sporadically entering my chest seemed bent on staking permanent residence. "Thank you."

"It's no problem."

As she smiled at me I knew that I had another ally. I had another friend who knew my secret. Someone I could depend on and talk to. I would try not to burden her with too much, but it felt good to have someone other than Gaius whom I could talk to.

Thank you for reading.

Please tell me if you want me to spend a little time where Gwen knows and what life is like for Merlin with another person who knows his secret or if I should just jump into the action. Your input would be greatly appreciated. :)

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