A/N: This is dedicated to all you Communists who want a more communist-centered reading experience. I hope this story gives all of us the inspiration and drive to sever Capitalism's octopus arms of classism, the patriarchy, anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric, climate denialism, and others!
If you're not a Communist then either change your incorrect mind or get the FUCK out!
First day of school.
Sonic used to hate school, back when he was an ignorant fool. Now, school's all he looks forward to. He refuses to be ignorant, first of all. And second, he now has a job to spread the information he learned during the past summer.
It was so enlightening. He went to the planet Earth, and he observed everything that went on there. He saw the hell that the planet was in. They're suffering from a condition called "Capitalism," which left their world looking like a dump, poor people begging for food everywhere, and a climate so bad that everyone on there will die in a century.
Dr. Eggman also ended up there. Sonic feared that the evil genius's trying to use that weapon against their planet Mobius. He's trying to take away people's lives by making the things they need cost more rings than they get as pay. He wanted a world where someone permanently dies if they have no rings to pay. He's a fucking dick.
But Sonic will stop him, with the power of the workers behind him.
Sonic grinned as he got out of bed. He read a few verses from his holy scriptures: The Communist Manifesto. He lit some sage in his altar's torches, and the smoke rose in the air to the revolutionary icons of Karl Marx, Fredrich Engels, and Vladimir Lenin above his altar. He then knelt at the altar, rested his astrology book on the altar, and chanted his daily Cancer horoscope.
By the time he finished his ritual, the time read 7:00. He hurried out to the bus stop, where Tails stood. He, too, seemed happy about school starting, although for a different reason than Sonic. Tails was smart, and he always wanted to learn.
Sonic smiled. That makes Tails the best person to start my activism on.
"Hey Sonic!" Tails waved.
"Hey Tails," Sonic replied.
Sonic stood by him, but just as Sonic could talk to him, a gold sports car pulled up fascistly to the bus stop. Inside, Jet, Wave, and Storm snickered at them.
"Have fun waiting for your shitty socialist ride, you poor freaks!" Jet sneered at them corporately. Sonic stuck up his middle finger at them before they drove off.
"I FUCKING HATE CAPITALISTS!" Sonic shouted at them, but they were probably too far away to hear his wonderful voice. He sighed. "We need a speedy transition to communism."
Tails looked at Sonic, confused. "What's a capitalist, Sonic?"
"Capitalists are people who take advantage of other people to make a profit," Sonic explained socialistically, "It's an evil system backed by the rich and their brainwashed bootlickers."
"Oh, okay." Tails rubbed his chin in a way that an enlightened person would if they wanted to hear more about the wonders of communism. "So what do we do about that?"
"Remember when I went to Earth? That's how I learned everything," Sonic started. He explained everything truthfully, from the history of capitalism, to the October Revolution, to the wise words of virtuous men like Pol Pot, Mao Zedong, and Joseph Stalin. Sonic taught Tails about liberals and capitalists using racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, and classism to keep the proletariat at war with each other instead of uniting for the ultimate just cause.
Tails nodded and smiled over the conversation. He was as smart as a fox. "Sonic, you're so cool. I wanna join you!" Tails was right; Sonic was cool.
They continued waiting, until Knuckles showed up. He was even more buff than he was last spring. Now even a lesbian would want his burly arm around her. He still had his red fur, but he dyed the tips yellow. Sonic was curious about them, because the red and yellow symbolized the beautiful colors of communism.
"Knuckles!" Sonic said fist bumping his buddy. The blue, speedy, communism-loving hedgehog smiled at him. "You're rocking the yellow!"
"Oh, hey," Knuckles looked down, "Yea, I like the combination."
"It represents rights to the workers. It represents the love for truth over religion. It represents communism," Sonic said revolutionarily, in a voice reminiscent of the great Lenin himself.
Knuckles looked surprised, then he breathed a sigh of relief. "You're a communist too?"
Sonic smiled. "I am! Now, it's my duty to speedily spread the word in school!"
"Count me in," the red and yellow Marxist echidna said proletariatly. Tails nodded as well, and we high-fived each other.
Not long after, the bus pulled up, and a hideous, lizard-looking thing opened the door. She glared at Knuckles, her deep down hatred for minorities shown all over her face.
"Red and yellow are ugly, evil colors of the Soviet Union. Good thing you're going to school; we need to teach you to be red, white, and blue, like this good sir here," the hideous, lizard-looking thing said, pointing to Sonic.
Something triggered inside Sonic when she tried to tie him to the real evil empire.
"I fucking love red and yellow! Wanna fucking know why? Because it fucking doesn't represent war! It fucking represents peace! It represents fucking love! All you fucking represent is fucking imperialism! Fuck you, you Thatcher-loving BITCH!" Sonic screamed like a legendary activist.
The hideous, lizard-looking thing rolled her eyes at Sonic like he was a starving African kid. "Get up, get on. Your bus-riding privileges are on a one week trial. They'll cost two rings per ride next week. Now sit down and be good, or I'll increase your prices."
Sonic heard Knuckles call her a brainwashed whore under his breath, and at that time, Sonic was never more proud of him. The bus driver was a bitch, and she probably has arthritis in her elbow for doing Nazi salutes all her life. But Sonic's merciful; once communism takes over, he'll reprogram her mind to rid her of her corrupted beliefs drilled inside her by Cold War propaganda.
Things need to change, and they will. But first, the revolution must start at school.