The three years after that passed without much trouble. Well apart from Merediths grip getting tighter and tighter on the mages in Kirkwall, that is. The tighter she squeezed the mages the harder they rebelled and it didn't take long until Templars started visiting Anders' clinic almost every night to check he was not performing blood magic. His friendship towards Hawke granted him quite a bit of immunity but should they find him using the slightest hint of blood magic he was going to get dragged to the gallows. So to avoid the Templars, he stayed in his clinic during day time and wondered up to Fenris' mansion in Hightown at night to stay there. Not to mention it had the bonus of him not having to spend the nights alone anymore.
But one day Hawke appeared in his clinic with Aveline and Isabela and Anders knew that he had finally agreed with him that there had to be something done about Meredith. He also knew that this meant that his secret relationship with Fenris would have to end soon, turning him even bitterer than usual. But they collected the ingredients Anders needed and Hawke even helped him into the Chantry to hide the explosive mix under one of the floor tiles in the main hall.
That evening he decided to visit Varric in the Hanged Man for a drink, to at least have someone to talk to that was usually cheerful in character. He dearly needed a drink as well. Old Anders was telling him that what he had just planted in the Chantry was wrong, but Justice desperately tried to block that thought out. It was giving him a headache to say the least.
"Ah Blondy!", Varric greeted him as he came into the dwarfs suit," Haven't seen you here in a long time! How was your hunt for the Selapetra and Drakestone with Hawke?"
"Smelly and hot", Anders sighed and plonked his bum on the seat beside Varric.
"You look like you need a drink, my friend", Varric called for some mead before leaning back in his chair a little and mustering Anders," You've been getting a bit cranky lately. D'you want to talk about what's bothering you? You know I've always got an ear open for you."
Anders tapped the side of his head with his right index finger.
"My mind is constantly at war with itself and it gets tiring after a while."
"I'll bet", Varric smiled at him fondly as the drinks were unlovingly slammed on the table in front of them," But hey, maybe if you tell me a bit about your time back with the Wardens it'll get your thoughts off things. It normally helps."
"Well", Anders smiled tiredly as he ran a finger around the rhyme of his mug," There was this one time when we were in Vigil's keep and Oghren asked me about the mage robes."
"Sounds interesting", Varric chuckled and took a swig from his mug," Do tell!"
"Well he asked me what it was like to wear a dress all day", Anders chuckled and took a swig as well," And then I told him that we wore the robes for quick thrists in the dark corners of the Chantry so the Templars wouldn't fi-."
Screams and shouts came from the main area of the tavern and both Anders and Varric looked down the hallway. A mage dressed in fine robes was standing at the top of the stairs with his back turned to them. He was casting a warding spell around himself whilst summoning shades and firing fire at …. at Fenris! The elf was in the main bar area with Hawke, Isabela and Merrill battling the shades and trying to get to the mage. Anders had never seen so much hatred in his elfs eyes when he charged at the man at the top of the stairs.
"Maker's breath! That must be Danarius!", Anders muttered and readied his staff. As he called upon his magic to attack, Danarius glanced over his shoulder and spotted him. Before he could launch his lighting the door in front of him was slammed shut.
"NO!", Anders yelled and slammed his shoulder into the door. It wouldn't budge and the little shock he got from it told him it was magically sealed.
He fired fire, ice, electricity, ANYTHING he could come up with at the door, but it wouldn't budge. Anger and worry building up inside him he could feel Justice starting to take the upper hand as he screamed and yelled at the door.
"BLONDY!", Varric was shaking him by the lower arm," Cool down! There's nothing we can do! Besides, they're 4 and he's only one! They'll manage, I'm sure!"
"That man out there deserves to die a retched death! And all I can do is stand here and wait", Anders' shoulders slouched as he rested his forehead on the sealed door.
He could hear the fighting going on for what seemed forever until all of a sudden it went quiet. Anders frowned and strained his ears to listen. All he heard was a sickening crunching sound followed by a loud thud.
"Please, don't kill me!", a woman's voice rang through the hall to the room.
It was followed by multiple people's murmurs and then the slamming of a door. More murmuring followed before the door was slammed again.
Anders gently pushed the door to find it opened again and he looked out into the hall cautiously. The main area was littered with slaver corpses and blood. He left Varric's room with the dwarf in persuit and walked down the stairs eying the massacre, stepping over some of the corpses to find the robed one in the far corner of the bar. When Anders stood over Danarius' very dead body he felt sickened.
It wasn't the fact that his throat had been crushed and torn out. It was the fact that the man that lay stone cold on the floor beside his feet, who had treated elves in the most unthinkable of ways, possessed the physics of a half breed. Anders felt like kicking the corps all the way to dark town to then have it rot in some corner. Instead he spat on the corps and stormed out of the tavern, needing some fresh air. As he stood out there he let his head tilt back and took some deep breaths and shaking his head.
"See it this way Blondy," Varric had appeared beside him and looked up at him with a comforting smile," At least the bastard's dead!"
"Indeed", Anders sighed and licked his lips. He looked up as an elven woman passed him, she walked proudly but seemed troubled. Her red hair tied back to a bun and her green eyes furrowed. When she noticed him looking she glared at him making Anders tilt his head a little. She reminded him of…
"Are you…"
"I am none of your business!", she spat at him and stalked off in the direction of the docs.
"What's with her?", Varric questioned himself as he raised an eyebrow when the elf walked around the next corner out of sight.
"Never mind her", Anders sighed," I think I'll go home now… I need some rest."
"I agree, Blondy. You look like shit", Varric chuckled.
Anders cautiously entered the manor in high town and closed the door quietly behind himself. He could hear Fenris cussing and yelling in Arcanum as he entered the hall. Loud bangs and clinking noises followed, before the cussing started anew.
He slowly climbed the stairs to Fenris' chamber and stood still in the door way. The room was a mess, the table that had been on the left lay shattered at the base of the opposite wall and the elf stood at the fire place punching the wall repetitively with his right fist. When Anders took a step forwards the elf's head turned showing just how angry he was. His pupils had shrunken to tiny dots and Anders was sure his hair was standing a little at the top of his head.
"It's only me, Fenris."
Fenris snorted and looked back at the wall, breathing hard.
Anders cautiously walked up to the shattered table to examine it. It had hit the wall so hard that it had cracked into 5 pieces and was most definitely irreparable, the part of the wall it had hit had crumbled slightly as well. He sighed and looked back at Fenris who was now rubbing the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger and shaking his head slowly.
"I'm glad you let out such anger on immobile objects and not me", Anders stated and got a glare in response. Fenris was still high strung but definitely better than a few minutes ago when Anders had only just entered the room. He walked up to the shorter man, but just about stayed out of arms reach to him.
"What happened in The Hanged Man exactly?"
"How do you know?", Fenris looked up at him suspiciously.
"I was visiting Varric."
"And you did nothing to aid us?", a snarl started forming on the elf's face.
"I was locked in the room by your former master as soon as he spotted me, Fenris. Of course I was trying to help!", Anders spat back and took a step closer.
"I'm… sorry. I did not mean to accuse you of anything…", Fenris bit his lip and looked to the side his features softening," I found my sister and it turned out she betrayed me to Danarius."
"So I wasn't mistaken", Anders muttered to himself looking down and remembering the elven woman outside The Hanged Man.
"I beg your pardon?", Fenris tilted his head.
"Oh sorry, just talking to myself. But Danarius is dead now. Surely that relieves you."
"In one way yes", Fenris turned around to walk over to the bed and slouch on it," But finding out about some of my past didn't turn out the way I wished it would."
Anders sat down next to him and watched the elf sigh and look over to the fire place.
"What did you find out, if I may ask?", Anders prodded.
"That magic has stained my life from the very beginning", Fenris looked at him with a sad expression in his eyes," my sister's a mage and I took these markings by my own free will."
Anders raised both eye brows in astonishment.
"So…", Anders didn't know how to say what crossed his mind in any nicer way," you were jealous of your sister and took the markings to obtain magic?"
"So it would seem," Fenris snarled at the fireplace," That and to prevent my family from slavery, apparently."
"Wow… okay…", Anders muttered," Anything else, if possible more cheerful you found out."
"My real name", Fenris looked back up at Anders now," is Leto."
Anders frowned at that. His real name… Anders had one too… but he wasn't willing to ever say it again. He wanted to leave that part of his life far behind. And the more he thought about it the more he figured Fenris would probably think the same.
"The irony of it all is", Fenris looked down at his own hands with a sad smile on his face," That Leto means as much as "the joyous one."
Anders chuckled at that. Irony it was indeed. He wrapped an arm around Fenris' broad shoulders and nuzzled the top of his head. The elf's hair smelled similar to the woods after rain fall and always reminded Anders of his first rainy day outside the circle.
"I'm so used to calling you Fenris I think I'll stick to that," he proposed and closed his eyes calming himself with Fenris' sent.
He felt the other man's clawed gauntlets hold his free hand and gently stroke the back of it. They stayed like that for quite a while, the only sound in the room was the popping and crackling of the fire place until Fenris squeezed Anders' hand.
"You seem bitter lately. Is there anything bothering you?", the elf asked not moving.
Anders opened his eyes and looked at the dancing fire for a while debating on telling him or not.
"Justice and I are getting into each other's hair more often… What's right or wrong", Anders answered keeping to his original plan of not telling Fenris. He knew it would only make his life even more complicated than it already was. He had only just gotten his freedom and the last thing he needed now was to be chased down by entire Thedas just because he supported Anders... or he'd try and stop Anders… both of which would cause Fenris more trouble than he needed.
"You are so selfless Anders. I admire you for that", Justice stated at the back of his mind.
"It is the right thing to do… even if it may be painful for the both of us at the start", Anders replied mentally.
"I agree", the spirit replied once more before disappearing again.
"So anyway…. Apart from wanting to sell you to Danarius, your sister seems quite the looker", Anders tried to cheer up the mood.
Fenris moved his head to the side to look up at Anders with a cocked eyebrow.
"You saw her?"
"She told me to fuck off outside The Hanged Man", Anders answered and pouted," She looks a great deal like you when she glares though. And she seemed majorly pissed."
"You would be too if your brother had almost killed you", Fenris snorted," I'm glad Hawke was there to stop me or I'd be regretting it at this very instant."
Anders swallowed dryly. Not even he'd kill a close relative. Even in that situation. Fenris noticed his absent and shocked face and pecked him on the cheek.
"Do not fret, I'd never harm you. Even with this facade we're pulling off in front of the others."
Anders smiled softly and embraced the elf tightly and never wanted to let go again.