A/N: Hey, so I decided to be nice and update again before I went to bed. :P There are exactly 6 minutes until midnight here in Canda so I am still technically posting twice in one day. :P As if it matters, I know. Lol. Anyways, hope you like this chapter and please review. Thanks so much. :]

Warnings: Ron, Hermione, etc. bashing. Mentionings of violence. Very vague mentionings of rape. Some fluffy Snarry interaction.

After giving Harry the potions for the infirmary, Severus did not see the young Gryffindor for three days. The Healer did not appear in the Great Hall for meals nor was he ever in his rooms or the infirmary whenever he looked. However, it seemed Harry was always in the hospital wing whenever he had a patient.

"He is not a professor. He is not required to take his meals in the Hall," Minerva had told him.

Another day passed without sight of Harry and it was now Friday night. Standing before his fireplace, Severus debated over whether or not to contact Kingsley Shacklebolt. He was desperate to have more clues as to what had happened to Harry or to know the truth outright.

Just as he had for the past five years, he found himself always thinking of Harry. Now, however, he was also thinking about their kiss. He hadn't meant to kiss Harry. He didn't want to scare him off, especially if he really had been raped. It had been some kind of uncontrollable impulse and he hadn't been able to stop.

He had known he was attracted to Harry even before the end of the war. The five years they had spent apart had only made the feeling stronger, turning it into something he wasn't sure he could feel any longer.

Shaking his head, Severus grabbed a handful of Floo Powder and tossed it in the fire. "Minster for Magic's office, Kingsley Shacklebolt," he said and waited.

"Yes, Severus, what is it?" Kingsley said, sounding very irritable.

"Are you busy?" Severus asked.

"I was just heading out," Kingsley told him. "Why?"

"Would you like to come over for a drink?"

"Merlin, yes," Kingsley said with a deep sigh and Severus chuckled. "I'll be right there. Have it ready and waiting," he added before ending the call abruptly.

Severus chuckled again as he opened his liquor cabinet and grabbed two bottles, wine for himself and whiskey for Kingsley. He put ice in Kingsley's glass and poured three fingers of the whiskey. He then filled his wineglass halfway and sat on the sofa, awaiting Kingsley's arrival. It wasn't long before his fireplace flared green and Kingsley walked out, going straight for the glass on the coffee table.

"What a role model you make," Severus said, amused as he watched Kingsley collapse into the lounge chair and throw back the whiskey before pouring himself half a glass.

"Shut up. You're one to talk, you overgrown bat," Kingsley said, downing half his drink again. "You're a teacher. You're supposed to be a role model too."

"Ah, but I was also a Death Eater so I'm long out of the running for role model of the year," Severus said, smirking as Kingsley rolled his eyes.

"And people wonder why you're called a git," Kingsley said, refilling his glass for a third time in as many minutes.

Severus snorted. "Regretting your decision to become the Minister?"

"Only every other day," Kingsley said and they both laughed. "So, what do you want? There's obviously a reason you called me over."

"Yes, there is," Severus nodded. "I called to ask you about—"

"Harry," Kingsley finished and Severus looked at him, surprised. "People always want to ask about Harry. He doesn't tell anyone what happened so they go to those he stayed in contact with."

"Should I not bother asking you then?" Severus said.

"You can but I can't guarantee that I'll give you the answers you want. It's not my secret or story to tell," Kingsley said.

"I think I've figured it out mostly from things I've heard," Severus said with a sigh.

"Things you've heard?" Kingsley frowned.

"I overheard Harry and Ron Weasley fighting a few days ago and things were stated quite explicitly," Severus said.

"Let me guess," Kingsley said, sighing himself. "Ron brought up the fact that it's not rape if Harry agreed to it."

"Exactly what he said," Severus nodded.

"Of course," Kingsley said. "Look, I'm not going to tell you what happened or why. Again, it's nothing of mine to tell and I'm not going to break the little trust Harry has in me by telling you even if it is you."

"What does that mean?"

Kingsley took a deep breath and placed his glass on the coffee table, leaning forwards. "After it happened and he did what he had meant to, Harry told Ron and Hermione all of it. They were his best friends so, naturally, he thought that they'd support him and help him and be there for him."

"They weren't."

"Not even a little bit. The minute what Harry had told them sunk in, they were completely different people. They showed who they truly are. They turned on him in a heartbeat, saying all these things and Harry was left alone to handle everything. Ron and Hermione told a few others what Harry had told them and even more turned on him. Oddly it didn't spread past the few people. Anyone else who hates Harry hates him for different reasons. So, without anyone to be there for him, Harry left."

"He told me he didn't run."

"In a way he did but in a way he didn't. Look at it this way. Harry had just defeated Voldemort, he had seen many he cared about die, and he had those who survived turn on him. Now, with Voldemort gone, he was free but he was alone. He left to, basically, find himself and to get his life back or to get it back together. He did what he wanted because it's what he wanted to do and what he felt was right. He didn't have a single person telling him what to do and he wasn't being hounded by reporters or admirers or anyone. He was living freely and trying to find a way to live contently. He managed to do it."

"When did he start talking to you and the others?"

"About seven months after he left. He sent out owls to us. You could tell by the way he had written what he did that he was terrified we had turned on him as well. He had been staying updated on what was happening in England and so he saw some articles that involved all of us in some way. Do you remember that one article that Ron and Hermione and Ginny gave two months after the final battle? They said all those things about Harry."

"Yes."

"Then the next day, there was an article from Luna Lovegood and Dean Thomas saying the complete opposite. Harry saw it and he thought that maybe there were still some people who didn't completely hate him so he owled us. We all owled back and we kept talking after that. We never knew where he was or what he was doing but we at least knew he was all right."

"What did you mean before?"

"After he settled in Iceland he finally agreed to meet up with us. We went to Dean's restaurant since he was able to close it so Harry wouldn't be seen or anything. After that first meeting, we would all get together once or twice a month, depending on what we were all doing. In all the time we have gotten together with him, he has never let us touch him or anything. Well, Dean and Luna have managed to put a hand on his but he always tensed and he never relaxed. Sometimes we would talk about you or other things from his past, not often because he doesn't like being reminded of it, but whenever your name came up, he would quite visibly relax."

Severus stared at the man and sat back, taking it all in.

"Something wrong?" Kingsley asked when Severus said nothing for a long while.

Severus debated telling. Finally he decided. "I kissed him."

Kingsley sputtered in surprise. "You—you kissed him?"

Severus nodded. "Four days ago. It was the first day of classes and we had fought at lunch. I went to his rooms and we talked and it just happened."

"I don't care that you kissed him, Severus. In fact, I've been wondering if you'd ever do anything about how you felt," Kingsley said and Severus narrowed his eyes. "I just thought you'd have tried to go after him sometime over the last five years."

"Can you get on with your point?"

Kingsley rolled his eyes. "You kissing him show that I'm right. Severus, he has not let anyone touch him in over five years except a brief touch of the hand and even that made him flinch. Severus, you have his complete trust. Did he respond?"

"He kissed back," Severus said.

"He definitely trusts you completely," Kingsley said matter-of-factly.

"I don't think it matters anymore. I haven't seen him since. I think he's been avoiding me," Severus said, draining his glass. "What happened to him, Kingsley?"

"I'm not going to tell you," Kingsley said and glanced down at his watch. "Look, I have to go. If you want something to go on, get a look at his neck, a real look."

Severus frowned. "Is that supposed to mean something?"

"Think about it," Kingsley said and got to his feet. "I'll see you later, Severus. Good luck." And he Flooed away.

It was another four days before Severus finally saw Harry. The Healer was sitting at the staff table as though he hadn't been missing for a week when Severus entered. He sat down beside Harry calmly and filled his plate.

"Nice to see you haven't disappeared off the face of the earth again, Mr. Potter," Severus said and he thought he saw Harry's lips twitch.

"I found myself needing some time alone," Harry's voice box said and he sent him a look that Severus knew was meant to be apologetic.

"Haven't been scared off?" Severus said, trying to hide his anxiousness but, by the way Harry looked at him, he didn't think he was successful.

Or, perhaps the Gryffindor just knew him too well.

Harry swallowed his mouthful of salad and regarded the Potions master. "No, I just had to re-establish a few thoughts and feelings."

"That may be," Severus said, "but I think there's another reason as to why you've been missing."

"You think so?"

Severus learned over and said quietly. "You've been avoiding me."

"You sound very sure of yourself, Professor," Harry said, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"I only say what I mean, surely you know that, Mr. Potter," Severus said and Harry gave a small shrug.

"We'll talk after," Harry said somewhat stiffly and Severus nodded. Dinner was silent between the two of them, both lost in their own thoughts. Many times the Defence professor, Professor Finn tried to draw Harry into a one-on-one conversation but was discouraged when Harry said no more than a few words. Severus also saw the looks Finn kept shooting Harry and narrowed his eyes.

Yes, the man was decent at Defence but Severus seriously doubted that he was right for Harry, good enough for him.

And you are? A voice said.

I don't know but I know Finn is not the person, Severus said.

Careful, the voice said, clearly amused. You've got some jealousy showing.

I am not jealous, Severus said, affronted.

You definitely are and you have a right to be. Harry is gorgeous, beautiful, intelligent, funny, beyond kind, sweet, loyal, endearing—

Yes, I'm aware. No need to continue, Severus said irritably and growled when the voice gave a light laugh.

Finally dinner ended and they headed down to Severus' rooms. He tapped the ordinary wooden door with his wand before pushing it open.

"Still haven't gotten a portrait then?" Harry said with a smile as he walked past Severus into the rooms.

"And never will," Severus said, closing the door behind them. He watched curiously as Harry gazed around the quarters with a small smile.

"I nearly lived down here that year," Harry said, referring to his seventh year when Severus had trained him up until the final battle.

"Nearly," Severus nodded. "If you weren't here, you were in the library or the Room of Requirement."

"I was pretty isolated, wasn't I?" Harry looked at him.

"It was your own doing," Severus said, sitting on the sofa.

"True," Harry nodded, joining him on the sofa.

"Let's leave the past where it is for now," Severus said. "As I said at dinner, you've been avoiding me."

"And as I said, you sound quite sure of yourself," Harry said.

"Because I know I'm right."

"Are you?"

"Completely."

"How do you know?"

"Because you're not giving me a straight answer."

"That means nothing."

"With you it means everything."

"How so?"

"The Gryffindor in you makes you give straight answers."

"Don't forget. I'm a Slytherin as well."

"You've been avoiding me like you're avoiding it now."

"I'm not and I haven't."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Truly?"

"Yes."

"Absolutely?"

"Ye—" Harry broke off and sighed, looking down. "No."

"Why?"

"I'm sorry, Severus. I didn't mean to. Well, I did but I didn't at the same time if that makes any sense at all," Harry said.

"Was it because of the kiss?" Severus asked. "I did not mean to frighten you."

"You didn't. I kissed back, remember?" Harry shook his head. "No, I think I frightened myself by kissing back."

"It's understandable to be frightened and wary, especially after what you've been through," Severus said.

"Been investigating again?" Harry raised an eyebrow.

"Not in so many words," Severus said.

Harry sighed. "You really should just let it go."

"I cannot."

"Why?"

Severus slowly moved on the sofa until he was nearly touching Harry. "Because I care for you far too much."

"You shouldn't," Harry said, his voice a whisper.

"I rather think that's my choice, is it not?" Severus said and slowly leaned in, once again pressing his lips to Harry's. Like last time, Harry tensed for the briefest of seconds before responding. However, this time he pulled away.

"We can't," Harry whispered, sounding pained.

"Why not?" Severus asked and Harry looked at him with shining green eyes that captivated him.

"Because I'm not who I used to be," Harry said. "I'm not the person you trained. I'm not the person who went to war. I'm not the person who defeated Voldemort."

"Whoever said that's who I want?" Severus muttered.

Harry tried to blink away tears as he repeated, "We can't."

"I think we can."

"No. I'm not the same," Harry said and gazed into the black eyes. "There's a line from a film. It's from Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. It's: 'How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on when, in your heart, you've come to understand that sometimes there is no going back?' There's no going back, Severus. I will never be who I was."

"Whether you're the person from five years ago or from right now doesn't matter. It is still you, Harry Potter that I want," Severus said, bringing up a hand to brush away the tears that were beginning to fall from Harry's eyes.

Harry squeezed his eyes shut. "You'll leave."

"I will never leave you," Severus said firmly, gently stroking Harry's cheek.

Harry looked at him through watery eyes. "You will when you know. They did."

"They had no idea what they were giving up," Severus said. "I will not give you up, no matter what you did or what happened to you."

Harry, his eyes closed again, raised a hand and placed it over Severus' on his cheek. "I did it to save you."

"What did you do?"

"I gave up my voice," Harry said, squeezing the man's hand. "It was the only way to save you."

"Why?" Severus breathed.

Harry opened his eyes again and Severus nearly winced at the pain in the depths. "I couldn't lose you," he said and added so low that Severus almost didn't hear him, "I love you."

Harry's hand dropped and as it did, so did the magic concealing his appearance. He had a cut above his eye and his lip was split. There also appeared to be damage to his right cheekbone and a cut on his temple.

Severus' fingertip touched Harry's cheek and lip lightly. "What happened to you?"

"Ron, Lee, and Anthony attacked me a couple days ago," Harry said, his tears slowing down.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I thought they had told you everything. They said they were going to. I couldn't face you if you knew," Harry said.

"I know no more than I did a week ago," Severus said, taking out his wand. "I wish I knew but I do not."

"You can't know," Harry shook his head.

"Could you show me your neck? Really show me?" Severus asked and Harry shook his head. Severus gently grasped Harry's chin and turned his head. He lightly tapped the cheek with his wand and heard it crack into place, Harry gasping loudly in pain. He healed the cuts as well before replacing his wand.

"Thank you," Harry said quietly.

Severus inclined his head. "Could I please see your neck?"

Harry looked at him with water-filled and bloodshot eyes. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"I can't lose you, Severus. I can't," Harry said, new tears leaking out.

"You won't, Harry, I promise you. I promise you I will always be here," Severus said, taking one of Harry's hands in his. He met the emerald eyes and said with so much conviction that Harry's heart nearly stopped, "I promise you."

Harry stared at the man, at his best friend, at the man he had fallen in love with. He fought with himself until it hurt but he made a decision. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Harry squeezed Severus' hand and released the rest of his magic. There on both sides and the very center of his throat was an 'S' glowing a bright blue. He waited for a response but opened his eyes slowly when none were forthcoming.

Severus was staring at his throat with barely concealed fury. "What happened to you?"

Harry shook his head vigorously and even more tears fell. "I can't, Severus. I can't, don't make me. I can't, I can't…" he trailed off as he sobbed and shook his head.

Severus gently put his hands on either side of Harry's head and made the Gryffindor look at him. "I am going nowhere. I promise you that, I promise you. I am not going to leave your side."

Harry's sobs quietened as he listened to Severus' words. He brought his hands up and curled them around Severus' forearms to ground himself.

"I-I did it for y-you," Harry choked out. "It-it was the o-only way."

"What did you do?"

"Th-they were the o-only ones I c-could get to who-who knew. I-I wanted t-to know how to s-save you," Harry broke off to get his breathing under control. It appeared that the voice box spoke the way Harry truly would have had he had his voice. "The-they asked what I-what I would g-give them. I-I said any-anything an-and they said they wa-wanted m-me. I-I-I a-agre-agreed. A-after they told me what to do and I did. It-it was to save you. I-I ha-had to."

Harry broke down completely and Severus didn't push for more. He just pulled Harry into his arms and held him tightly. Harry grasped Severus' shirt tightly as he sobbed into it. After quite a while, Harry appeared to calm down slightly though Severus didn't loosen his hold nor did Harry try to move.

"Come on, I think you need some sleep. You can stay here tonight," Severus said quietly.

"No, I can—"

"You're staying here," Severus said firmly and swung Harry into his arms bridal style. He carried him to the bedroom and carefully placed Harry on the bed.

"I don't have my sleep pants," Harry said quietly.

"I'll handle it. Just stay here," Severus said and left the bedroom. "Cary," he said and a house elf appeared before him. "Would you please fetch Mr. Potter's sleepwear and his familiar?"

Cary bowed and disappeared. Severus waited the few seconds for her to return with Lileen and a pair of deep blue cotton sleep pants. He followed Lileen who raced into the bedroom and held up the pants.

"Thank you," Harry said, petting Lileen and taking his pajamas.

"Change and we'll go to sleep," Severus said, pulling out his own pajama pants from the wardrobe. He went to change in the bathroom, leaving Harry to change in the bedroom. Harry was just slipping under the covers when Severus exited the bathroom.

"Where—where are you sleeping?" Harry asked.

"Would you prefer me on the sofa?" Severus said.

"No, I was just wondering," Harry said before looking at him shyly. "Would you stay here?"

Severus gave him a small smile. "I said I'd never leave you, didn't I?"

Harry gave a small smile back as Severus joined him in the bed. They both lay on their backs with their heads turned towards each other. Lileen was at the foot of the bed. "I'm sorry for—"

"You have nothing to apologize for," Severus said. "I thank you for telling me, for trusting me."

"Of course I trust you. How could I not?" Harry said.

"You didn't used to," Severus said.

Harry smiled. "I think I always did, unconsciously anyways."

"I'm glad to have been of service," Severus said before shutting off the lights. They were silent as they let their eyes adjust to the dark. When they did, Severus met Harry's eyes. "You're scared."

"I'm waiting for you to leave me," Harry whispered. "I'm sorry."

"You have every right to be scared," Severus told him. "I'll just have to spend my time assuring you that I'm not leaving no matter how long it takes. In fact, I find myself not wanting you to leave my rooms in the morning."

"Why?"

"I find myself in the same place as you," Severus said. At Harry's confused look, he added, "I'm in love with you too."

Harry's eyes widened. "You—you—"

"For years, even before you left," Severus said.

Harry's eyes watered again and he raised a hand, resting it on Severus' cheek. "Do you mean it?"

"As much as I mean it when I say I'm not leaving, so more than anything," Severus said, and placing a finger under Harry's chin, he gently kissed him. When they parted, Severus smiled. "It's time to sleep."

Harry nodded and closed his eyes before sliding closer to Severus who smiled again. The Potions master watched the Healer fall asleep. He kissed Harry's forehead before falling asleep himself.

A/N: Hope you liked it. Fluffy, I know. Yes, Severus is quite OOC probably and so is Harry with the crying, but, come on. Harry was talking about what happened to him and Severus has changed since the war ended. :P Don't forget to review. Thanks so much. :]