Author's note: Hello, fellow Bleach fans! Thanks for your reviews! But, please. I'm begging you; if you read this, please review. I even appreciate one-word reviews! Credit for the idea goes to "Kuro-Hollow-Neko", who I don't think is still reading this, but whatever (: Oh, and the song 'Short People' belongs to Randy Newman. Is it sad that I actually Google searched - "Songs about short people"? But whatever. I got the song below (:

Revieeeeew, pleeeease! *Speaks like Keigo*

One Hundred Ways to Make Captain Hitsugaya Throw a Temper Tantrum.
~Chapter 11~

Number Ten.
Dye his Haori pink, draw on it, and dye his Shinigami robes white.

"How are we going to get his Shinigami robes…?" Momo asked cautiously. "He's always wearing them."

"I have my ways!" Rangiku exclaimed cheerily.

"Alright…" Momo smiled worriedly, before flinching as Kenpachi hit her on the back.

"Don't worry so much. It'll shorten your life. Then you won't be able to enjoy a good old fight!" he enthused.

As predicted, Yachiru popped up. "Yeah! Ken-chan's right! We're all professionals at this!"

Which, of course, they weren't.

After finally convincing Momo (who seemed to be the only one thinking of the possible consequences) that getting Tōshiro's clothes wouldn't be hard, nor embarrassing, Rangiku handed out colourful markers.

"Once I manage to get his Haori, we'll dye it," she held up a small container of dye. Everyone knew that she must have stolen it from Captain Kurotsuchi's lab. "and then we draw on it. Then I'll dye his Shinigami robes white!" she held up another small container.

"This'll be a laugh!" Shunsui (the newest edition of the group) said smiling lazily, his own flowery 'Assistant Annoyer' badge gleaming in the sunshine.

Sneakily, Rangiku crept around her Captain's house. It was rather late at night – the only time that Rangiku could be sure that he wouldn't be wearing his Shinigami robes and Haori.

She knew this because of the recent visits to his house late at night.

Haha! This'll annoy him for sure!

She opened the front door with the key she had 'acquired', and slipped into his house.

Hm. Well, judging by the fact that when we were all standing in his house with our swords released-

Rangiku laughed silently.

-he got changed in the bathroom; it must mean that he keeps his clothes in his bathroom.

That's weird.

After locating Tōshiro's en suite bathroom (which wasn't exactly hard; she knew her way around his house. Not that she'd tell him that…), Rangiku found his Captains uniform neatly folded up.

Hm.

After managing to find the clothes, Rangiku took them to 'The Headquarters' (which was, in fact, the Eighth Squad Office; Shunsui had told them to 'make themselves at home'. He had insisted on joining the group – despite Captain Ukitake's 'words'.)

"Ba-ack!" Rangiku sung, slipping through the door, startling Shunsui.

Rangiku held up the Haori, and pulled out the dye.

"Let's get to work." Renji said seriously.

...

After Momo had dried the now hot-pink Haori by holding her fiery Zanpakutō over it, each member pulled out their coloured indelible markers.

"What exactly are we doodling, hm?" Shunsui asked, chewing on the top of his lime-green marker.

"Anything!" Rangiku replied.

Shūhei took the lid off his red one, and started doodling a bird sitting on the branch of the tree Renji was drawing. Kenpachi busied himself by drawing a collection of bloody swords. Ichigo – who claimed to be artistically challenged – was doodling cheese. Rangiku was drawing an oh-so-life-like self portrait. Yumichika was (as expected) drawing a cluster of beautiful flowers. Ikkaku was sketching a basketball – which greatly resembled his head - next to Momo's lock-and-key. Shunsui was (also, as expected) drawing a bottle of sake. And, finally, Yachiru was drawing Tōshiro a bunny rabbit.

Her drawing ability greatly resembled Rukia's.

After half an hour of what had turned into a hilarious doodle fight, everyone put down their pens.

"Whew." Rangiku said, grinning at their work.

Because she was (as she put it) 'a genius', she had managed to find some gold glitter-paint. They had traced around the sides of the Haori with said glitter.

The group took a step back, and grinned at their work. Toshiro's Haori was bright pink, covered in doodles – ranging from forks, to animals, to names – and was sparkly as a result of the gold glitter.

"You know," Renji thought out loud "we really are suicidal."

"Everything's more fun that way, Renji-kun." Shunsui assured him.

"Now, the only thing left to do is… dye his Shinigami robes white." Yumichika read. "White is such a beautiful colour."

Tōshiro awoke with a start, expecting to see a group of Captains surrounding his bedside. Luckily for him, his room was empty.

The small Captain made his way to his en suite bathroom, and gasped when he saw… it.

His Haori was bright pink. And was covered in doodles. And was glittery.

MATSUMOTO…!

She's really gone too far now…

Tōshiro scowled, and felt the temperature in the room drop – the way it did whenever he was especially frustrated.

What do I do? I can't wear this…

Tōshiro sighed, knowing that he didn't really have a choice. He slipped the atrocious thing onto his annoyingly white Shinigami robes, and stalked off, hoping to come across a few suicidal Shinigami who would allow him to freeze them.

...

Tōshiro was tired of the snickering by the time he reached his office. He was just about ready to freeze the entire Seireitei.

Unfortunately, he had passed Byakuya, who had asked Tōshiro if he needed help.

Stuck up… jerk.

So, of course, the white-haired Captain's mood wasn't improved when he saw his annoying Lieutenant at her desk, painting her nails the same colour as his Haori.

As soon as she looked up, she burst out laughing.

"Oh, Captain… You look… like….a… teenage girl!" Rangiku was barely able to produce a coherent sentence. "You should… you should take… a photo!"

"Thanks for this, Matsumoto." Tōshiro said coolly, ignoring her suggestion. "As… 'pretty' as it is, I would like you to clean it for me." He shrugged off his Haori, and threw it at her, causing her to spill her nail polish.

"Captain, it won't come off. It's indelible pen. And dye doesn't come out." She informed him, wondering if he was going to throw a tantrum.

"Then you're going to be in that seat for a long time." Tōshiro observed, throwing her a cloth and a bucket.

"Why are you making me do this?" she wined. "It wasn't me!"

Tōshiro smirked, despite his desire to stab her. "Well, you, as my Vice Captain, should be thrilled to do this for me."

Rangiku made to stand up.

Tōshiro grabbed his Zanpakutō, and, in a flash, Rangiku was frozen to her chair.

"Captain!" she screeched, clearly unimpressed.

"I told you, didn't I? You're going to clean this for me."

"Abarai helped!" she whined, before clamping her mouth shut.

"Well, I'll go and get him shall I?"

Fifteen minutes later, every single one of the group (save for Kenpachi and Yachiru – Tōshiro was terrified of the both of them) were frozen to their chairs, scrubbing Tōshiro's Haori and Shinigami robes.

"This isn't going to come out." Ichigo said, scowling.

"Maybe we should have used chalk?" Shūhei pondered.

"We're never gonna get this all off." Renji complained. "How did he know that wehelped?"

"He made me tell him!" Rangiku said defensively.

"How?" Ikkaku asked, trying (unsuccessfully) to get rid of the pink on one of the sleeves.

"He shoved ice down my back until I told him! And I couldn't even move, 'cause he'd frozen me to my chair!" Rangiku sounded near to tears.

"It could be worse." Shunsui observed.

He, however, wasn't doing anything.

Just then, Tōshiro stalked into the office, and smirked at the group of clothes-scrubbers.

"It's a really nice day outside. Oh, and Captain Ukitake is giving out ice creams, because it's so hot." He informed the group, licking his own ice cream.

The entire group groaned.

"Shiro-chan… This is really bad for my nails." Yumichika said, frowning as he looked down at his grubby nails.

"And walking around in… that was really bad for my reputation." Tōshiro replied, sitting on his desk.

"If we're gonna be stuck here all day, we may as well annoy him." Rangiku whispered, before she started singing loudly:

"Well, I don't want no short people…

Don't want no short people…

Don't want no short people...

'Round here"

Tōshiro sighed, threw his ice cream at his Vice Captain, before walking outside hoping to stab something.

Mission failed.