Author's note: Hey guys! Thanks for the HUGE response last chapter! (: Ahaha. It means A LOT to me, because I have no life. Credit for the 'Retaliation Team's' HQ goes to sayo-chan64. She also gave the comments about the other possible HQ places (:

Also, I give no disrespect to any pairings possibly mentioned in this fic.

But, without further ado, here is chapter sixteen!

~Rainbow Fruit Loop x

~ One Hundred Ways to Make Captain Hitsugaya Throw a Temper Tantrum. ~
~Chapter 16~

Number Fifteen.
Ask him out, and pester him when he says 'No'.

"Well, obviously Hinamori and I can't help in this challenge." Rangiku said, tossing her strawberry blonde hair over her shoulder.

"Why not?" Ikkaku asked, frowning. "I don't want to ask him out."

"Well, first of all, we're both female. We don't want him to actually say yes!" Rangiku began. "Secondly, Momo is his friend. We don't want to do anything to kill their friendship."

Momo nodded eagerly.

"And lastly; I'm his Vice Captain! Don't you think it'll be really awkward if I ask him out?" Rangiku said, looking around at the group of males.

"Che. I guess you're right." Shunsui said lazily.

"Of course I'm right. I'm always right." Rangiku said, smiling.

"So you want us to ask him out? What, like, pretend we're all gay?" Ichigo asked, frowning.

"Yep! Is that a problem?" Rangiku asked, faking concern.

"…I guess not." Most members of the group replied.

"Good." Rangiku smiled. "This has to annoy him. He hates people in his personal space, so get all clingy."

Renji grinned sadly, and shook his head. "I'm so gonna lose all of my dignity…"

"What dignity?" Shūhei asked. "You lost all of your dignity that night when you got really drunk and decided to-"

"Enough about me." Renji interrupted hastily. "Let's get on with this."

Tōshiro and Byakuya made their way to the Thirteenth Squad Barracks.

"Do you think he'll agree?" Tōshiro asked.

"Yes." Byakuya replied.

The two men walked in silence.

Captain Kuchiki doesn't say much…

When they got to the Thirteenth Squad Barracks, Tōshiro knocked on the door of Jūshiro's office.

"You may enter." Jūshiro's called, his voice soft.

Here goes… nothing.

Tōshiro and Byakuya entered.

"Ah! How nice to see you, Byakuya-kun, Shiro-chan." Jūshiro greeted, a smile on his face. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm sure you're well aware of the childish 'Prank War' between my Vice Captain and myself." Tōshiro started.

I'm making my situation sound incredibly naff…

"Indeed." Jūshiro nodded.

"And, in order to attempt to stop this 'war', I decided to create my own team." Tōshiro said.

Jūshiro nodded, and tucked a strand of snowy white hair behind his ear.

"So far, it is only Captain Kuchiki and I on my team. And so I was wondering if you would be a part of the team?" Tōshiro asked.

Jūshiro smiled. "Of course! I couldn't deny a fellow Shiro-chan!" he enthused.

Um, yeah.

"R-Right." Tōshiro said. "Thanks."

Jūshiro smiled. "What would you like me to do?"

"Er, nothing at the moment. I only retaliate to my Lieutenant's pranks. I do not instigate anything."

Jūshiro raised his eyebrow. "Ne, that's disappointing. Still. I'll help you whenever I can. Do you have head quarters?" he asked.

Byakuya shook his head. "Do you think it would be a good idea?"

"But of course!" Jūshiro beamed at his two fellow Captains, who were both surprised at his enthusiasm.

"Where?" Tōshiro asked.

"Well, definitely not your Division's Barracks," Jūshiro addressed Tōshiro. "for obvious reasons. Is Vice Captain Abarai part of Vice Captain Matsumoto's team?"

Byakuya nodded.

"Che, I'm surprised you let him get away with it." Jūshiro observed good-naturedly.

Byakuya said nothing, but inhaled sharply.

"Anyway, if your Lieutenant is part of the opposing team, then the Sixth Squad Barracks are out of the question." Jūshiro pondered.

He's really thinking deeply about this.

"Your mansion is infiltrated daily by the Shinigami Womens' Association, Byakuya-kun, so… Well. Why don't we make my office the head quarters?" Jūshiro finished excitedly.

"Yes. Thank you." Tōshiro nodded.

I think having a head quarters is a good idea.

…I can take refuge in it whilst Matsumoto is being exceptionally annoying.

Byakuya, too, nodded. "Thank you for your time, Captain Ukitake."

After speaking with Jūshiro for a few more minutes, Tōshiro made the mistake of walking back to his office by himself.

A certain Fifth-Seat wandered up to him.

"Hello, Shiro-chan~." Yumichika sang, a wide smile on his face.

"Good morning, Ayasegawa." Tōshiro grumbled.

What does he want…?

"So, Shiro-chan… I was wondering… if you wanted to come out for a meal with me?" Yumichika said, placing a hand on Tōshiro's shoulder.

What?

"Is this something Matsumoto's made you do?" Tōshiro asked, narrowing his eyes.

Yumichika's eyes welled up with fake tears. "You think that my love for you is a joke?" he asked, sniffling slightly. "I can assure you that I speak from my heart." He placed his hand gently on Tōshiro's chest.

Argh!

What do I say to him…?

I think that if I say what I want to, he may be offended. Because: "No way in hell, Ayasegawa" seems a bit harsh.

Tōshiro took a step back.

"Er…" Tōshiro trailed off, and, for the first time in his life, wished that he was with either Byakuya or Jūshiro.

They'd know what to say…

"Please. Please. Please. Please. Plea-" Yumichika began.

"Stop speaking." Tōshiro instructed, rubbing his temples.

He could feel a hangover coming on, which was quite irritating seeing as though he hadn't been drinking.

"Well, why don't you think about it?" Yumichika asked, running one of his hands through Tōshiro's spikey hair.

Tōshiro flinched, and managed not to grab his Zanpakutō and slice off the other man's hand.

"S-Sure. I'll get back to you…" he said hesitantly.

Yumichika grinned, and skipped off.

"I'll be waiting for your answer!" he called over his shoulder.

Tōshiro breathed a sigh of relief, and ran his hand through his hair in an ineffective attempt to re-spike it into its previous style.

Taking a deep breath, Tōshiro continued on his way to his office.

Was Ayasegawa being serious? Or was he 'obeying' Matsumoto's orders?

However, Tōshiro didn't have time to ponder as, as soon as he stepped into his office, he was embraced.

Not able to resist the urge, Tōshiro pulled away violently, and pushed at the person in front of him.

It was Shunsui.

"What do you want, Captain Kyōraku?" Tōshiro asked irritably.

"I would like you."

"I beg your pardon?" Tōshiro said, honestly not having heard Shunsui.

Shunsui took a step forward, and placed one of his hands on Tōshiro's head, the other on his shoulder.

Urgh… Why must people continually touch me…?

As he pulled out of Shunsui's grasp, Tōshiro knew that Matsumoto was up to her usual tricks.

At least I don't have to worry about Ayasegawa anymore.

Tōshiro raised his eyebrow at the sleepy-eyed Captain in front of him.

Shunsui bent down so that he was at eye contact with Tōshiro. "Shiro-chan. I think you're a fabulous person, and I would very much like to take you out somewhere." He said, a smirk on his unshaven face.

"No." Tōshiro said. He walked around Shunsui, and sat down at his desk.

"Ne, you're so mean, Shiro-chan!" Shunsui whined, sitting on the edge of Tōshiro's desk. "Please say yes! You don't want to break my heart, do you?"

"…Tough luck." Tōshiro muttered.

Shunsui looked out of the window, before he gasped, clambered over the desk, and crouched down behind it.

"What the hell-" Tōshiro started, but was stopped by Shunsui's finger on his lips.

"Ssh. I just saw Nanao-chan in the window. She's coming in to give you some paperwork. I told her that I was going to the Thirteenth Division to do some important paperwork with Jūshiro." Shunsui whispered.

As if on cue, someone knocked on the door.

"Enter." Tōshiro said, slightly confused.

It was, indeed, Nanao.

"Hello, Captain Hitsugaya. I have here some paperwork that was accidentally delivered to my Squad." She said, handing Tōshiro a large stack of papers.

"Thank you, Lieutenant Ise." Tōshiro thanked.

"Captain Kyōraku, I know you're behind the desk." Nanao said, pushing her glasses up.

Shunsui popped up. "Aw. How could you tell?" he asked.

"I could smell sake." Nanao said. "Now, please, sir, come back to the office and do your paperwork."

Grudgingly, Shunsui agreed.

He was just about to exit, when he looked back over his shoulder.

"Don't forget about my offer, cutie."

Tōshiro scowled, and stifled a shudder.

It was half an hour before Tōshiro was going to leave the office for the day.

Throughout the remainder of the day, he had had Ichigo, Kenpachi and Ikkaku come up to him and 'ask him out'.

He had spoken to both Byakuya and Jūshiro, who had decided that, as 'retaliation', Tōshiro should accept the offer of the next person who asked him out.

That would certainly make the person think twice about their 'offer'.

However, Tōshiro was praying fervently that no one else would ask him.

My dignity would evaporate.

But, as fate would have it, the door crashed open, and there stood Renji.

No…

"Hey, Shiro-chan!" he said, grinning. "Hey Matsumoto!"

"Hey Abarai!" Rangiku replied.

Surprisingly, Rangiku was at her desk. Tōshiro highly suspected that she was in the office for the sole reason so that she could witness Tōshiro's obvious discomfort.

"May I ask why you are in my office?" Tōshiro asked.

"I have something to ask you." Renji said, a serious look on his face.

He strode up to Tōshiro, and grabbed his hands.

Tōshiro couldn't suppress a shudder of disgust at the contact.

"You are an absolutely amazing Captain, and I like you very much. Will you be my boyfriend?"

Tōshiro had to stop himself from choking.

Even though I know it's only Matsumoto's foolish game… I hate it.

And I'm going to have to accept his stupid offer.

Behind Renji, Rangiku giggled.

Tōshiro took a deep breath. "Sure."

Renji's eyes widened with fear and panic. "Oh, er…"

Tōshiro smirked. "I very much feel the same way about you, Vice Captain Abarai." He lied.

Ha.

…Take that.

Tōshiro was expecting Renji to apologize for his behaviour, and assure the Captain that what he said was only a joke.

So Tōshiro was highly unprepared for when Renji turned around to Rangiku, shrugged, and then proceeded to throw his arms around the startled Captain.

"Good Tōshiro." He said, petting his hair.

… I made the wrong move.

Tally

The 'Hitsugaya Annoyance Team' – 2
The 'Retaliation Team' – 2

So, what do you think Renji did when he was drunk? Please tell me in a review! (: