If Not for You

Part 5

.

Flack tried not to laugh, "Your boss? That hard-ass Agent Hotchner?"

Emily groaned, "Yes! Hotch! Him!"

Flack couldn't help but show a tiny grin, "Why, may I ask?"

Emily grabbed her beer and took a drink before she began, "It was a bad case. Six small boys murdered. Hotch has a son the same age as those victims, so you know it would hit him hard.

"The seventh victim especially; Seth Rutledge, blonde hair, dark brown eyes, he looked so much like Jack Hotchner. We almost saved him. When we finally located the basement, his heart beat was erratic and scarce. The bastard had done real bad things to him besides injecting Seth full of drugs. Meth, cocaine, and even opium."

"It's a wonder the kid didn't overdose." Stated Flack quietly.

Emily nodded, "Our UnSub knew how to administer the right dosage and yet keep him conscious. Seth didn't know what was going on while that…that monster…done…" Emily stopped while she tried not to cry.

"It's okay, Em. It's …"

She shook her head, "He videotaped it and sold it to the highest bidder on the 'net. Seth lasted two days in the hospital. His parents were beyond themselves because they trusted that monster. He was Seth's preschool teacher. They didn't get a chance to say good-bye to Seth. He never gained consciousness."

She took another long drink from the bottle.

Flack shook his head sadly, "In a sense, it's a blessing he didn't live; the kid would be permanently damaged mentally."

"Yeah, that's what we told each other but that didn't make anything right."

Flack understood her; it was easier said than done. It would traumatize even the most hardened cop.

Taking a deep sigh, Emily continued. "When we got back to Quantico, the team left as soon as they dropped their stuff. I stayed on as I didn't feel like going home to an empty apartment and I wanted to get the report written and out of the way. Hotch went to his office and the door stayed close for a long time.

"I must have worked on it for a long while because soon, I felt someone close by. It was Hotch. He was standing by the stairs watching me. When I asked him if he needed something, he came over and sat down. At first we were quiet, I watched him but he was staring at something behind me. And then he talked. And talked. About Jack. It was the first time he ever talked about Jack so freely. He hardly talks about his family life to us. I listened as I was glad that he was opening up to me. I thought that he must finally feel something for me. I was touched by the gesture. After a while, he realized it was getting real late and said that we call it a day. I thought I saw something in his eyes, like love or something. I thought he was ready to tell me. And feeling happy, I stood up as he did and leaned in and kissed him."

Flack grinned, "Wished I saw his expression."

"Do you want to hear the rest or keep making assumptions?" She glared at him.

"Oh no. Please go on," he said condescendingly.

Emily ignored his tone, "He didn't respond. I felt it right away when he stiffened so I stopped and stood away from him. I was so embarrassed.

"So, I tried to apologize. He apologized as well, saying that it was his fault that I felt that way. I wanted to laugh; he was always blaming himself for everything that had nothing to do with him. He just had this big bucket on his shoulder where it contained the burdens he took into, whether it was his fault or not. Actually, I didn't even know why I kissed him. I always like him. Well, more than like but I knew that he wouldn't feel anything for me. He is so…so 'by the book'!"She slammed the bottle down.

Flack chuckled.

"I kept apologizing but he wouldn't let me. Then we were interrupted by his cell phone buzzing. He answered it and stepped away from me but I could still hear him. Whoever he was talking to, he was talking softly and he even grinned. He never grinned at me at all. As it turned out, he has a girlfriend. She is an assistant State Attorney, and they were discussing on an impending trial.

"Later, I found out that she used to work with him while Hotch was with the State's Attorney's office. They had been seeing each other for a few weeks now. Can you imagine my humiliation; I thought he had feelings for me, the way I felt for him. Was I wrong and I called myself a profiler!"

Flack felt bad for her instantly; he knew that she never fell for anyone easily and if she did, it was a sure thing. This time she was wrong.

"So, you ran away from him and came here?" He asked.

She nodded.

"I thought you came here because I needed you?"

She snapped her head up and looked at him, "Oh no, Don! I mean…I.."

He held his hand up, "I'm just teasing. I'm glad you came."

Emily nodded, "Yeah I figured. I took a week off. We're on a stand-down anyways and so not looking forward to be at the office all day and seeing him there as well. It's going to be a long time before I can get the image of me kissing him while he stood there like a statue."

"You losing your touch?"

Emily showed him her middle finger than sighed as she began twirling the beer bottle, "What I need is to burn that image away. I need to get laid."

When Flack didn't comment, she looked up at him and saw that he was not looking her but behind her and was grinning like a fool.

At once she knew they were no longer alone and that someone was standing behind her. And right away, she knew who it was as she closed her eyes, not him! I'm so dead!

"I hope I'm not interrupting?"

"Hey Mac! Fancy seeing you here. Did you just get off work?" Flack's grin had widened considerably as he saw Emily's face darkening with embarrassment.

"Yeah, I was walking out when I saw your car. Everything okay?" Mac asked. He found the last comment from her was very intriguing. Was she the type that sleeps around? He hoped not!

Flack laughing now, pointing Emily with his beer, "My friend here needs some …"

"Donald Michael Flack! Don't you dare!" Emily threatened him.

Laughing harder, Flack shook his head, "Please Em! I was just trying to help."

"Thanks, but no thanks!" She turned away from him and rose up, headed to the ladies' room.

Mac's eyebrows were raised, "I didn't mean to interrupt. I'm heading home now."

"Hey Mac, I'm ready to call in for the night. Reckon you can give us a ride home? We're in no condition to drive."

Mac nodded his head, "Sure. But I didn't drive tonight, took the bus."

"Just drive my car, I'll get it tomorrow, I gotta get to the precinct for the follow up on today's case."

"Okay. Then, it's no problem." He replied as Flack handed him the keys.

Emily came out a little later and saw that Mac Taylor was still hanging around. She frowned; he was making her slightly uncomfortable. Not bad uncomfortable but her body reacted oddly whenever he was around and that was saying a lot being that they had only met three times, counting tonight. She remembered their encounter this morning, their little tussle and when he was on top of her, it felt weird and she knew that for some unknown and perverted reason, she wanted him to lean down and kissed her!

He seemed serious all the time, reminding her of Hotch. But there was something very different about Mac Taylor that she couldn't put her finger on at this moment.

You like his no-nonsense attitude.

Yeah, that was it. But there was something else, something about the way he looked at her. His soulful eyes said a lot, yet very little. He was a man of mystery. She knew that, like her, he carried a lot of baggage. Who didn't, working in the type of environment they were in.

As she approached the two men, she saw that Don was signing a credit card receipt.

"Hey," she began, "I thought I was paying for this." She pointed to the mass of beer bottles.

Shrugging his shoulders, "Nah! It doesn't matter. You can get the next round another time. Ready to head home?"

She nodded; it had been an exhausting day.

"Mac's going to give us a ride home."

Emily looked over to Mac, "Oh, I thought we'll call a cab. I don't want to inconvenience your friend."

Mac spoke up before Flack did, "It's not a problem. I don't mind being the designated driver."

Reluctantly, she said, "Thank you. It's really kind of you."

Mac nodded his head.

"Shall we?" Flack had stood up. "I think exhaustion is hitting me all of a sudden. Agent Prentiss has been driving the whip, working me to death today."

Emily glared at Flack as they moved towards the exit of the bar, "If you hadn't fire your housekeeper, I wouldn't have done it. Your apartment was looking really ripe."

Mac chuckled, "Well, Agent Prentiss, I'm glad you did. That place used to be sparkling clean. Mrs. Tennison was a stickler for order and cleanliness. I think she used to be a drill sergeant when she was younger."

Emily couldn't help but smile, "So I heard. Don used to be frustrated when Mrs. T. left post-it notes all over his place, reminding him to hang his jacket up, put his shoes away, and …

Mac chimed in with her, "make your bed in the morning!"

Emily laughed at their joke.

Flack looked irate, "Okay, okay, laugh it out, people. She takes a great deal of delight and mental torture with those damn post-it notes! Whoever invented those damned things ought to just stick it, no pun intended."

It made Emily laughed more and Mac shook his head.

In a huff, Flack picked up his pace, leaving Mac and Emily walking together.

They were in the parking lot following Flack to his car when Emily, deep in thoughts, tripped on a crack in the concrete block.

Instinctively, Mac reached over and grabbed her tightly, catching her fall.

"Thanks! I'm not drunk, I promised. It was that crack…" She was startled by the intensity of his eyes. They were dilated and looked so passionate. Or was it the lighting of the parking lot casting a strange glow on him.

"Yeah," Mac said slowly as he watched her eyes widening as she stared at him. "Be careful. You could twist your ankle." He found that he couldn't concentrate at what he was saying.

He wanted to kiss her. To find out how she tasted, to feel those lovely lips.

"Mac! Emily! Are you two coming or not?" Flack's voice cut through their gazes like an annoying gnat.

"Yeah, coming." Mac replied absent mindedly as he released his hold on her reluctantly. He didn't want to break their contact, his hand on her arm.

"He's got poor timing." She uttered softly and felt bereft with his hand gone from her arm; it had felt really pleasant, and now, her skin, where he touched her burned.

Mac was intrigued by what she said but again, Flack's voice invaded his mind.

"Look, I'd like to be home before sunrise."

The spell broke.

"Shut up, Don! We're coming!" Emily's exasperated voice rang out in the desert parking lot.

"He can be that annoying." Mac chuckled. He couldn't get the image of her face filled with passion out of his mind. Just a moment that lasted forever and he found himself yearning for more.

What would it be like to hold her?

…End of Part 5…