Note: I've decided to write slightly shorter chapters in the hope that I might manage to post at least vaguely regularly! Thanks very much to my reviewers, you make me smile!
I'm not really very pleased with this chapter, but I've decided to throw all caution to the wind and post it anyway! Look out for a whole lot of drama and some Carrie/Teddy fluff in the next chapter! Meanwhile, try and enjoy this meagre offering, and resign yourselves to the fact that I will not apologise for the final few lines! (Let's face it, I never do!) :-)
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor am I making any profit from this piece of writing.
8: Sugar Rush
The watch upon her wrist read noon when Carrie Winters finally admitted to herself that she was lost.
She had been trailed through the woods for what she supposed was hours, wandering aimlessly amongst the trees, attempting a vague circular path so as to keep from straying too far from the village. But she had become so lost in thought that she hadn't noticed the ground beneath her feet growing steep, nor noticed the layer of leaves growing deeper upon the forest floor, not raked away from the well used routes surrounding the cottages.
The muggle paused in her slow pace to glance around at her surroundings, frowning deeply.
She had awoken late again that morning and found herself eating a lonely breakfast, for she had been the only person left in the house. Once washed and dressed she had spent a while clearing up the breakfast things that had been left out at the table, musing that she felt quite at a loss about what to do with her morning, since Remus and Dora were not there to offer any guided excursions. She had settled on going for a stroll to make the best of the bright morning sunshine, only to hesitate.
She still didn't feel comfortable being spotted out and about by people, being recognised. Surely word would spread; there goes the muggle girl who visited Carter Cottage...
Which was how she had come to shunning her bright red coat in favour of something far less obvious and far less muggle – a deep plum coloured cloak, lined with fur and sporting a hood, which she discovered in Remus and Dora's room, folded neatly at the bottom of a trunk. Carrie had never seen Dora wear this particular garment before, and she had to admit that it seemed a rather elaborate choice for a wander in the woods, but the only other cloak to be found belonged to Remus and was much too long not to trip Carrie up as she walked.
As it turned out the cloak was a good choice, for despite the sunshine it was a bitterly cold day, not much warmer than the previous evening after dark. Carrie was quickly glad of the thick fur lining and the hood that she could draw up over her head to stop the wind upon the back of her neck. She'd amused herself quite merrily, wandering through the trees, swathed in fur and joining in with the birds' whistling from the treetops above. It was calming, being alone in the woods, the fresh air seemed to help clear Carrie's mind, which had wandered back to the events of the previous evening. She'd concluded after a while that really something needed to change. She needed to change...
And that had been when she'd noticed that she'd gotten herself lost.
Upon coming to a halt, it became apparent to Carrie that her legs were growing tired from her wandering and so she carefully hitched up the cloak about her waist and sat down upon the ground, arranging the furry material in her lap. She was just gazing thoughtfully at her watch again, wondering how far she had wandered and whether or not she could make it up to the hills where Teddy and the villagers would be hard at work until lunch, or if it would be more sensible to simply find her way straight back to the village, when a voice from high above made her jump.
"That's a rather lovely choice of cloak, you know."
Carrie's gaze snapped skyward as she looked searchingly amongst the trees for the speaker, and upon spotting Kit Carter perched upon a branch above her, a broad smile upon his face, the muggle offered him a scowl.
"Do all you Valley boys hide in trees to startle passersby?" she asked irritably as he dropped neatly down onto the ground in front of her, making her flinch.
The animagus looked somewhat taken aback by her less than enthusiastic greeting, but nevertheless he plastered a fresh smile onto his face and admitted:
"Most of us do, I'm afraid."
"Well you shouldn't." Carrie informed him bluntly. "You nearly scared me to death! What were you doing up there, anyway?"
"Nothing." Kit said, dropping down to sit beside her. "Just...keeping out of Uncle Alucard's way, I suppose..." he trailed off rather uncertainly, before sitting a little straighter and repeating: "That's a rather lovely cloak."
"It's not mine." Carrie said, not really very interested in talking about the cloak because she had a much more pressing subject to bring up. "Do you make a habit of looking through girls' bedroom windows as well as climbing trees?"
Admittedly spotting the little bird perched upon the window ledge the previous evening had neither startled or particularly concerned Carrie at the time, she had been far too preoccupied with Remus and Dora and feeling anxious about Samuel and the rest of the family. But since giving it another thought it had occurred to her just what she thought of Kit's behaviour. It was odd. Weird. Utterly unacceptable!
"Oh..." Kit mumbled, face flushing a bright shade of pink. "I...I meant to...to talk to you about that, actually..." he trailed off into silence, head ducked as he reached to fiddle with a fallen leaf, shredding it with nervous fingers.
"Well?" Carrie asked impatiently after a moment. "What on earth did you think you were doing? I could've...I could've been in bed or...or getting undressed or something!"
"Yes...well I...I didn't really think of that..."
"I should hope not!"
"I just wanted to speak to you!" the wizard protested, shifting uncomfortably as he turned to look at her, and he looked so dreadfully nervous that Carrie felt compelled to stop scowling at him. "I was worried, you see! I didn't mean to make you late for dinner, Uncle Alucard was so delighted to have a visitor and...and it was so nice to have somebody different in the house, it's only ever the two of us and I completely forgot about the time! I know Mr. Lupin didn't mind, but I don't suppose Edwin would be pleased if...if he knew where you'd been...and...and I heard raised voices when I went out after supper...so I...I just thought I'd check you were alright! Of course I shouldn't have gone to the window like that...Merlin knows what you must think of me after that!" Before Carrie could utter bad-tempered agreement, the wizard frowned deeply and muttered: "Or after Edwin's had his say, even. You probably ought have ran a mile from me by now."
There was a rather long silence as he stared dejectedly into his lap and Carrie wondered quite what to say. Her unease around Kit was, she was sure, entirely his own fault and had nothing to do with Edwin or even Samuel's ranting. But he looked so downtrodden and miserable that she found she didn't have the heart to point this out to him.
"Actually," she said instead, "Edwin's alright with everything...kind of..." When Kit gave a snort of disbelief, she explained: "He and Remus, they've come to an understanding of sorts. They've agreed to...disagree about you."
Kit gave a miserable sniff and mumbled:
"Well that's good of them."
"It is." Carrie agreed brightly, but he only hunched his shoulders, expression despairing. The muggle supposed it would be kind to change the subject, so she asked: "What's it like, having wings and being able to fly?"
She had thought he might cheer up to talk about something that was so obviously impressive as opposed to the usual negatives, but he merely sighed heavily and murmured:
"It's...free. That's why I learnt, I wanted to be free, I wanted to be invisible to people so they would leave me alone."
"That's sad." Carrie told him solemnly. "If I were to learn to be a bird I'd not want to hide away in trees all day, I'd want to fly as high in the sky as I could, just to know what it felt like."
"That's what broomsticks are for." Kit pointed out, only for the muggle to remind him:
"Not to me they're not. My people sweep floors with them, if anything at all."
At long last he looked up at her, a soft huff of amusement escaping his lips.
"Suppose they do." he mused, lips curving into a smile as he admitted: "I've never met a muggle before, you know, you're my first."
"How exciting for you." Carrie murmured dryly, and the animagus gave a rather nervous chuckle.
"Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean it like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you're special or something...not that you're not special, you are it's just...well you're not...you're not really any different from anybody else."
Carrie felt herself almost instantly warming to him. She remembered Edwin just a few days previously: a muggle! Everybody's so excited!
She had always hated being singled out, it made her nervous and indignant because she wasn't some sort of fairground attraction for witches and wizards to gawp at. She was just a muggle, the entire country was swarming with them! So it was nice not to be special...
Except apparently she was special...
It was then that Carrie realised that she was blushing. In fact one glance at Kit suggested that she wasn't the only one. All of a sudden everything seemed a little bit awkward and Carrie felt quite relieved when Kit hurriedly cleared his throat rather meaningfully to ask:
"Would you...would you like a drink? If you've been out here for...for such a long while..."
Carrie was pretty sure that she hadn't mentioned just how long she had been walking for, but she had to admit that she really was rather thirsty and it was a welcome distraction from their sudden awkwardness.
"Yes please...if you've got one, that is..." she mumbled, only to jump when Kit leapt to his feet.
"I'll go and fetch one!" he announced, grinning broadly, and with that he promptly ignored Carrie's protests that he not trouble himself and set off through the trees at a sprint, only to leap abruptly into the air and within the blink of an eye the young man had vanished, there was the fluttering of feathers and a small bird disappeared into the treetops.
As quiet once again descended upon her surroundings, Carrie rose idly to her feet and wandered on through the trees a little. She had to admit that the temptation to keep on walking until she had put a good number of paces between herself and Kit Carter when he returned was rather tempting. She hated to admit it, but he really was a rather odd sort of boy. She was beginning to feel uncomfortable around him.
She had just paused at the sound of a horse whinnying, wondering just how many animal enclosures were dotted throughout the Valley, when she heard footsteps and spun around towards their source, stunned that Kit would return so quickly. But after a moment it occurred to her that they were coming from entirely the wrong direction, and a moment later she spotted a familiar looking figure striding through the trees towards her.
"Dora!" the muggle called, hurrying off through the trees towards the pink haired witch, who looked up from her inspection of a crumpled scrap of parchment that she promptly stuffed into her pocket, smiling brightly.
"Alright, Carrie love?" the Auror greeted cheerfully. "Coming back for lunch?"
"Is it that time already?" Carrie wondered as they came to a halt in front of one another, and Dora offered her a raised eyebrow.
"It flies in places like this, you know." she said, glancing up towards the treetops, and Carrie asked:
"Where's Remus?"
"He went ahead of me to reply to an owl." Dora said, patting her pocket vaguely as she looked back down at the muggle. "Nice cloak." she observed, and Carrie murmured:
"I think so." When Dora failed to look at all perplexed to have her trunk ransacked and her cloak borrowed without permission, Carrie admitted: "I've not seen it before."
"It was an anniversary present, I've not worn it yet." Dora explained, and Carrie struggled to resist the urge to pull the garment from her shoulders and thrust it into the witch's arms. Instead she tried not to look too guilty as the Auror reached to run her fingers across the fur lining, eying the cloak thoughtfully.
"Is it warm?"
"Toasty."
"Thought it would be."
"D'you want to swap?"
"Nah, you're alright love. What've you been up to, then? Have you had a good morning?"
As they began a slow stroll through the trees, back towards Kit's tree, Carrie frowned deeply at this question, before settling on a rather vague:
"It's been alright...I've been walking..." she didn't really want to mention Kit Carter, even if he would no doubt reappear at any moment to offer her a drink, so instead she asked: "What about you?"
"We went down to the lake."
"There's a lake?"
"A little one, it's quite a walk away..."
Talk of the lake continued on until they reached Kit's tree and Carrie found herself lingering, albeit reluctantly.
"It's...it's Kit." she admitted when Dora noticed that she had stopped walking. "He's...gone to get me something to drink...I'd walk back to the village and get one, only he insisted and...well, I don't want to be rude..."
"We can wait." Dora decided, and as she turned until she could lean leisurely back against the tree, Carrie struggled to decide just what the witch thought of her continued contact with the Valley's outcast. One look at Dora's face left the muggle to settle on disinterest, which Carrie supposed wasn't surprising after the conversation she had overheard the evening beforehand. Upon recalling that conversation and the silliness that had ensued, Carrie found herself sighing heavily, and without much thought she wondered aloud:
"How long does it take?"
Dora paused in an absentminded examination of her fingernails to glance sideways at the girl stood beside her.
"Well," she mused, eyes twinkling in amusement, "I suppose that would depend, Carrie love, on what it is."
Carrie gave a rather abashed chuckle, feeling her cheeks tinge pink. She kept her gaze firmly upon her shoes, hugging the cloak more tightly around her.
"How long does it take to...be like you?"
"Be like me?"
"Like you are...with Remus, I mean. Like...like how you can say anything to one another without worrying what the other will think...or...or even not say anything because you can guess each others' thoughts. Or like...like how you can hold hands without even noticing or...or kiss without blushing or feeling shy around each other."
"How long did it take for me to be entirely comfortable and confident around the person I'm in love with?"
"Exactly. How long did it take you?" Carrie looked up, gaze upon the witch eager, and Dora puffed her cheeks, a mixture of amusement and uncertainty.
"Well...that's a rather difficult question. It's not something that just happens, it's a gradual thing."
"Yes but...but how long does it take?"
"I've been married for twenty years, Carrie, I don't think I remember when I stopped thinking about holding hands and just did it, or when it was I decided I could tell Remus to shut up without him thinking I was being rude! My memory's not that brilliant! It happens when it happens, and you can't judge against anybody else, we all have different situations and personalities to consider...is this about Ted?"
"No." Carrie flinched a little at her abrupt denial and Dora gave a disbelieving snort.
"You know," the witch recalled, "in most respects you're not a bit like me, Carrie love, but we do happen to have one thing in common."
"We both have excellent taste when it comes to cloaks?"
"Mm...two things, then."
"What's the second thing?"
"You and Teddy were friends before you started dating. The same goes for Remus and me. And that's the best way to do it, because there's only so far being the world's best kisser can get you. If it's going to last you've got to be best friends first and then snog one another senseless later. But just because it's the best way, doesn't make it the easiest." Dora paused to glance round to find that Carrie had gone back to staring at her shoes, face a flood of colour, and the witch gave a light chuckle before folding her arms firmly across her chest. "If some random bloke down the pub thinks you're a dodgy dancer, or the worst flirt he's ever met...well that's embarrassing but at the end of the day who gives a toss? Move on to the next one...except of course you can't just move on to your next best friend, can you? Friendship takes time and effort! There's a whole lot more at stake, when you're in love with a friend, and it's a terrifying thing, it really is. You think you know them perfectly, but of course then you discover that you don't...because you're both suddenly caught up in trying to impress one another. Even when you never really tried before! And that's the thing, Carrie love, it takes time for things to settle down...for the pair of you to stop trying so bloody hard! And then, slowly, you stop obsessing about if he's going to think you look nice today because you remember that time before you started going out, when he came round to your house and you answered the door in those embarrassingly patterned pyjamas your gran bought you for Christmas. And you'll remember how the two of you laughed about it and it will occur to you that he'll probably think you stunning if you showed up wearing a bin liner held up by some garden string! And then, once you've both realised just how daft you're being...well...that's probably when it happens. That's when you end up like Remus and me." For a moment, Dora smiled proudly at this conclusion, before giving an exaggerated sigh and adding: "Then, before you even notice, you've been together for far too long and you've got habits and routines and all of those things your parents had that used to make you roll your eyes and think they were boring."
Carrie let out a giggle, only for the witch to inform her solemnly:
"It's wonderful." Dora turned further around to face the muggle, leaning forward until she was close enough to whisper. "Listen to me, Carrie." she said, hand reaching to grasp hold of the muggle firmly by the shoulder, causing Carrie to feel suddenly rather nervous. "I know you think you can't talk to me about...some things, because Ted's my son. But that doesn't make any difference, I promise. And if you don't want to talk to me you could always...you could always talk to your Aunt Susan."
Carrie gave a rather squeaky chuckle.
"Aunt Susan's not had a boyfriend since the Dark Ages." she pointed out, struggling to meet the Auror's eye. "In fact I'm not sure she's ever...well..."
"Well?"
"Nothing."
"Mm...well I've done nothing plenty of times, so you're stuck with me then."
Carrie swallowed the nervous lump in her throat.
"Looks like it." she mumbled, and Dora rolled her eyes.
"Don't look so petrified, for Merlin's sake!" the witch exclaimed. "Honestly, this isn't another one of those talks, Remus is the only one who does those, it's far more amusing! No, all I'm saying, love, is we can talk about Teddy...or just boys in general if you like, we can talk about anything like that...even nothing if it comes to it...whenever you want. And it doesn't matter that Ted and I are related, because at the end of the day I might be his mum but you're my girl, aren't you? And I want what's best for both of you. Alright?"
"Alright." Carrie mumbled, feeling a little better, and Dora reached to straighten the cloak about the muggle's shoulders as she smiled and said:
"Good."
There was a sizeable pause before the muggle found herself blurting:
"I think Kit likes me. Like...like likes me."
"Bloody fantastic." Dora observed, mock-brightly. "And do you like him?"
"What?"
"I said do you like him?"
"Of course not! Not like that! I've got Teddy..."
"Alright, just checking. So, what are you going to do about it?"
"What am I going to do...?" Carrie mumbled, feeling a little alarmed at such a blunt question. "Well...I don't know...I suppose I was thinking of...ignoring him..."
"Ignoring him?"
"Yeah..."
"No, you can't do that."
"I can't?"
"No, that's either rude or playing hard to get. You'll just have to explain to him that you're terribly flattered and all but you've got Ted, thanks very much."
"Just...just like that?"
"Just like that. Don't make a big thing of it, you'll embarrass him even more than is necessary."
"Right..." Carrie was just wondering what the chances were of all of this being as simple as it sounded when she heard footsteps and Dora sucked in a deep breath and observed:
"That'll be him, then."
Carrie's eyes widened in panic.
"You want me to tell him now?" she hissed, only for Dora to shrug her shoulders unhelpfully as Kit hurried towards them. Carrie hastily plastered a smile onto her face.
"Wow!" she exclaimed as enthusiastically as she could manage when she caught sight of the carefully held glassful of blood-red liquid that he was carrying carefully in both hands as if frightened to spill a single drop. "What's that? Is it...is it wine?"
"Of course not!" Kit laughed, seemingly very pleased with himself indeed as he stopped just in front of her. The young wizard offered Dora a bright smile in greeting before holding out the glass for Carrie to take. "It's juice made from the berries we pick in the woods!"
"Homemade?" Carrie said as she took the icy cool glass from him, and he sounded proud to tell her:
"That's right!"
"How lovely," Carrie said, glancing sideways at Dora to find that the witch had gone back to inspecting her fingernails, disinterested. "We never have anything like that back at home. My aunt doesn't really have time to make things." As he watched her keenly, Carrie lifted the glass to her lips and took an experimental sip...and promptly had to suppress a grimace. The juice was unbearably sweet, like eating sugar with a spoon, and as she forced herself to take a few generous gulps Carrie barely managed to suppress a shudder. There was only one thing for it, she realised as she glimpsed Kit's smiling face through the glass, if she was to have any hope of politely finishing the sickly concoction she was going to have to down it in one...
"D'you like it?" Kit asked as she swallowed another mouthful, followed by another, and as her stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch Carrie was forced to abandon her endeavour, leaving a good couple of mouthfuls left in the glass.
"Mm, it's lovely!" she exclaimed, turning quickly to thrust the glass into Dora's hand. "Try it, Dora, it's wonderful!"
Dora looked from the glass to the pleading expression on Carrie's face, before plastering an equally as enthusiastic smile onto her face. And with that, the Auror drained the glass without so much as a flinch. It was, Carrie thought, acting worthy of an Oscar as she watched the witch even lick the remainder of the ghastly drink from her lips and announce:
"How unusual! You'll have to give Carrie the recipe for it, Kit. We could make it back home, couldn't we Carrie love?"
Carrie was too busy attempting to wash the sickly taste from her mouth with copious amounts of saliva. Dora handed the glass back to Kit, offering him a raised eyebrow, cocking her head in the muggle's direction as she concluded:
"See, it's utterly stunning!" Reaching to give Carrie a firm shove forwards a few steps she announced: "Well, we're late for lunch! So we better be on our way, hadn't we?"
Kit's face instantly fell, and he looked deeply worried.
"I've made you late for Edwin again?" he said, eyes widening anxiously. "I...I had no idea, I didn't mean..."
"You're alright, Kit." Dora assured him, reaching to pat him on the shoulder as they passed him. "It's lunch, not a court hearing."
Kit gave a nervous chuckle, his confidence apparently battered.
"Goodbye, then!" he called, and Carrie turned to wave at him, calling a goodbye of her own.
"I didn't tell him." the muggle muttered to the witch as they marched off through the trees a moment later, and Dora waved a dismissive hand.
"I don't care," she muttered, reaching to swipe a sleeve across her mouth. "If I don't go and wash my mouth out right now I swear...!"
As the two of them both dissolved into laughter, it seemed to Carrie that things seemed far more like normal than they had done the previous day, and she felt compelled to make it stay that way.
"Dora?" she mumbled a couple of minutes later, staring determinedly ahead because she couldn't quite bring herself to look sideways at the witch. "I've been thinking...about...well...me and you...you and Remus, I mean. I think...no, I know. I know I've been...well...relying on the two of you an awful lot. More than I should, I mean. And...well, I know that's...that's difficult for you, especially right now whilst we're here...isn't it?"
Dora didn't reply, it made Carrie's stomach twist into knots, but she was determined to carry on anyway.
"What I'm trying to say," she said, having drawn in a deep and determined breath, "is that I know that I need to learn to stand on my own two feet...I manage it well enough when I'm at University, so I need to learn to do it the rest of the time too. Because it's not your job to look after me...you shouldn't have to put up with all of my drama and all of my silly mistakes. I'm sorry, you know, that I've cause you so much trouble over the years..."
"Carrie..." Dora mumbled, but the muggle shook her head vigorously.
"I know what you're going to say." she said, waving a dismissive hand in the witch's direction. "You're going to say you don't mind, or that it's not all my fault or something like that. But you...you do mind, I'm sure you do, and it is all my fault most of the time. You shouldn't have to fight my battles for me, or anything like that, I have to do it all for myself because I'm not a little girl anymore, I'm...I'm a grown up woman, aren't I, Dora?"
Once again, Dora didn't respond.
"I am, aren't I?" Carrie said, feeling her stomach give a nervous lurch...
It was at that moment that she realised that she could no longer hear Dora's footsteps beside her, and so the muggle came to a confused halt.
"Dora...?" she said, turning to glance sideways to where the witch had ben walking beside her...
Thud.
At the sudden sound, Carrie spun around to look back through the trees, and promptly gasped in panic to find a motionless Dora lying face down upon the leafy ground.