Author's Note: My sincere thanks to everybody who have read, saved in favorites, set to alert or commented on 'Till You Make It'. I really do appreciate it. Some of you have expressed concerns as to whether I will be continuing this story or not; rest assured I have every intentions to seeing this thing through all the way to the end. I had already pre-written three chapters when I posted the first one. For every chapter I complete a new one will be posted that way I stay two chapters ahead. I chose to do this so that I don't fall behind and you all never have too long of a wait.
I want to apologize ahead of time for any incorrect facts I may have made on any character's history. If I am unsure of something I do try to look it up because sometimes I fail to remember everything that has happened, been said or done. I also want to point out to everybody that all of the inner thoughts and dialogue will express my own personal views and takes and not necessary that of the actual character's of General Hospital. Thank you.
Happy reading and I hope you enjoy!
~Valerie~
Chapter 2: Unwanted Space
From the armchair where he sat, Johnny observed his two guests who sat on the couch waiting to hear what was inside the files that rested on his lap. After parting with Ethan, he drove back to his penthouse with the intentions of demanding that his father hand over everything he had on Jason Morgan, Sam McCall and Elizabeth Webber. Not only did his father give him the files but he did so before Johnny could open up his mouth.
"I figured you might want them."
Than his father further surprised him by announcing he would be gone for the night. Instead of questioning anything, though he made note that he would at a later time, Johnny just sat down and began looking through them. Immediately he saw a difference. When he first began his crusade to take down Sonny Corinthos, he had his people dig up as much information as they could on him and Jason but the info he had did not compare to the one his father had on the enforcer. There was also a file Johnny had on the Webbers not directly on Elizabeth, but on her brother since he was now dating Olivia. He wanted to check the man out and make sure that the woman he once loved was with someone worthy of her. And she was. Steven Webber appeared to be a good honest man who came from a family who had ties in the community. What he wasn't expecting was the long history his sister had with one Jason Morgan.
Johnny had knowledge about the two after witnessing private moments between them several years back at the Black and White Ball held at Wyndemere. But it appeared that nothing more came of it and Johnny never really thought of Elizabeth again. For as long as he knew Jason, it had always been Sam, so he never looked further into his relationship with the nurse. He saw no reason too. Now Johnny wished he had after looking through the file his father had on them. He didn't know how but his father suspected more between them and because of it he discovered a secret, a weakness if you will, that could've brought Jason Morgan to his knees had it been used.
So why hasn't he used it?
That was another question he most definitely would be asking him, for now Johnny was trying to wrap his brain around the fact that Jason Morgan had a son. Despite being at odds with his boss, Johnny really had no quarrels with Jason. At one time he respected him and even considered him a friend, but that began fading after his sister was killed and the two ended up on opposite sides. Still, they remained somewhat civil the majority of the time they were face to face and a part of him continued to respect him. Now he was not so sure anymore if the man was able to walk away from his own son. If it was to protect him from the life he lived than maybe Johnny could understand. Not that he agreed. Still, it made no sense because he knew, has even seen, just what Jason would do to protect his loved ones. He went above and beyond the call of duty for Sonny's kids; Michael especially.
So why wouldn't he do the same for his own?
There was no answer he could come up with that would make him understand Jason's reasons for having nothing to do with his son. It was also none of his business, but now he wished he hadn't promised Kristina full disclosure because this was something he would not be telling her and if she were to ever find out all that he held back, she may never forgive him. "Krissy, I know you want to learn everything, and believe me, I understand." Johnny spoke directly to her. "That being said let me say that I don't agree we should be doing this. Not saying I won't, but Elizabeth's past is personal and should stay private unless she shared them with you herself."
"I don't want to know everything, just her history with Jason."
"You do realize that all I can give you are the cliff notes but they won't explain emotions or why things between them didn't work out."
"Why do I feel like you are stonewalling me Johnny?"
"Because I am." He was honest with her.
"I don't understand, why?" Kristina admitted.
"Let me ask you something before we go any further. What exactly is your goal here now? I know it had to have changed when you found out that it was Jason she was once involved with."
When Kristina didn't answer right away and looked to be struggling to find her words, Ethan stepped in. "Do you plan on ever talking to Elizabeth again?"
"We'll yeah, I did enjoy our talk."
"Okay, and are you looking to start a friendship with her?" Ethan continued. Johnny saw exactly where the Aussie was going with this and silently praised the man.
"I do find myself looking forward to seeing her again. I was able to talk freely to Elizabeth and it felt good that she understood me. Not just that but I felt a kinship with her."
"Then yes, that is definitely someone you want to be friends with." Ethan encouraged with a smile.
Johnny nodded in agreement and took over, kicking it up a notch. "So how do you think it would make Elizabeth feel knowing you looked into her past?" When she had no answer, he continued. "Sure, you can just not tell her, but then that isn't a great way to start off a friendship. Is it?"
"No."
"Jason and Elizabeth are in the past. He is with your sister and from the looks of it, things are going good. You learning their history won't accomplish anything. All it will do is put a lot of weight on your mind that you really don't need. I know initially you wanted to help her out but we both know that isn't happening now. And…"
"That's the part I'm struggling with." Kristina interrupted with a soft voice.
"How so?" Ethan asked.
"I want to help her out. I feel like I am torn in two." Kristina quickly stood up from the couch and began pacing behind it. "You know I can still feel Elizabeth's pain when she told me that he never loved her. I remember thinking that couldn't be true, I mean seriously, they were together for awhile and from the way it sounded they have been back and forth since she was like seventeen. He proposed, meaning he was ready to spend the rest of his life with her so come on really, how true could that be that he never loved her." Johnny could do nothing but watch with amusement as Kristina ranted all that in one breath. By the smile Ethan was trying to hide, he knew he found her tirade enjoyable as well. "And how exactly can a phone call cause a breakup?"
"A pho…" Ethan was about to interrupt but Johnny shook his head stopping him. He didn't understand himself what a phone call had to do with anything but he didn't think asking her would do any good. Kristina needed to work things out however way she chose to.
"It makes no sense, right? And another thing that bothers me is why I don't see Elizabeth at any functions or events. I know my whole family has to know her but I don't see any of them making attempts to speak to her. If she has that far back of a history with Jason then surely my father knows her, but I have never seen them talk unless it was hospital related." Suddenly Kristina stopped pacing and let out a sigh. "I know I went off track there but I am struggling here. Half of me believes Elizabeth is wrong and that at one time Jason did love her not just because he proposed but because of the type of man I know he is; the other half says screw it...I'm not going to play any part of Sam getting her heart broken."
The men were quiet for a few moments, allowing Kristina the time to figure out whether she wanted to continue to pursue this or not. Johnny stood up and walked over to the bar to pour himself a drink. He lifted an extra glass over his shoulder in a silent question to Ethan who responded by joining him and grabbing the offered glass. Once both had been filled, they walked back to their vacated spots, nursing their drinks.
"Okay, as much as it pains me to say this..." Kristina broke the silence. "I know going any further is not the right choice here." Johnny let out a relieved breath. "However, I do want to know why nobody really talks to Elizabeth. Can you tell me anything about that?"
"That I can do but just remember that I am going by what I learned from the files so I may or may not be completely accurate." Johnny placed his drink on the table and folded his arms across his lap. "Who would you like to start with?"
"My father."
"Sonny and Elizabeth used to be friends despite Carly's dislike towards her."
"Carly and my mother aren't exactly crazy about each other but they still manage to be somewhat civil to one other."
"That may be true love, but they each have children with your father. Elizabeth doesn't." Ethan reminded Kristina.
"That's true." Kristina agreed.
"When it comes to your father and Elizabeth I don't think Carly was the problem." Johnny continued. "I think their friendship began fizzling out when she married his brother Ric Lansing."
"Whoa, wait…" Kristina threw her hands up in surprise. "Elizabeth was what?"
"Elizabeth used to be married to Alexis's ex-husband?" Ethan was surprised as well.
"As in Molly's father?" Kristina continued.
At Johnny's nod Kristina closed her eyes and seemed took a few deep breaths before moving past that revelation. "But so was my mother, so why is it any different?"
"I am only guessing here but during the time that Elizabeth and Ric were married so was Jason and Courtney Matthews..."
"Courtney Matthews?"
"She was my aunt." Kristina explained to a confused Ethan. "She died like five years ago during an epidemic that was caused by a monkey."
"A monkey?" He sounded skeptical.
"Your father brought…"
"Say no more." Ethan held a hand up stopping her. "If Luke was involved than I am sure the story is as crazy as it was already sounding." Looking at Johnny, who was wearing a smirk, he nodded his head once. "Continue."
"As I was saying Jason married Sonny's sister, Courtney, and from what I discovered she and Elizabeth didn't exactly get along for awhile. Between that and Ric's not so subtle attempts to bring your father down, a line was drawn and Elizabeth was on the opposite side."
"But Jason and Elizabeth came around, so why didn't she and my father?"
"I have no clue. That is something only they can answer."
"Okay, what about Carly?"
"I don't think those two ever got along. When it comes to Jason, Carly has always been territorial. I don't think that will ever change."
"What makes it so different about Elizabeth? Carly was the same way with my sister but now the two are getting along okay."
"Again that is something that only they can tell you."
"What about my mother?"
"They have never been anything more than acquaintances."
"And my sister?" Johnny quickly threw back the rest of his drink to hide the grimace he knew was on his face. That was one person he was hoping she wouldn't have asked about.
"I would think that was obvious." Ethan surprised him by answering.
"How do you mean?"
"Well, you may have not known about Jason and Elizabeth, but I am sure Sam did and it probably hurt her. From what you are telling us, it sounds like Elizabeth may still be harboring some lingering feelings for him so I can understand why the two aren't exactly friends…and can you blame them?"
"I didn't think about that." Johnny was thankful for Ethan stepping in and saving him from having to come up with a lie. Who knew how Kristina would react if she ever learned the things her sister did to Elizabeth and her sons; not to mention her past. Sam was no longer that woman. He truly believed she was a changed person.
"Anybody else?" He asked when she remained quiet.
"No, that's it for now. Thank you Johnny."
"Sure."
"If I change my mind later on...?"
He hoped she never did. "These files are not going anywhere. You can come to me anytime." Johnny promised.
Kristina stood up and walked over to him. She leaned down and gave him a hug that he returned. Turning around she walked back to the couch and stood in front of Ethan. "Thank you for being here."
"Anytime love."
"I still need some space though."
"Krissy…"
"Please understand. I will call you, I promise."
Johnny watched with Ethan as Kristina grabbed her purse and walked out. He had to admit he was surprised that she held back learning anything more; even more surprised by her parting words to the man who still sat on the couch wearing a dumbfounded expression on his face. Johnny stared at Ethan and wondered what the man's true feelings for her were. His words and his actions did not always match. A part of him wondered if the attention Kristina gave him flattered him enough that he allowed it to continue when he shouldn't have. Ethan shifted his body forward giving him a clear vision of the man's eyes.
"Or maybe not." Johnny murmured. Perhaps there was something more Ethan felt for Kristina and the man was either oblivious or choosing to ignore it. Whichever one it was he better figure it out soon before it was too late.
After the type of morning she had, Elizabeth was relieved to see that there were just a few more hours left in her shift. From behind a curtained space she sat in front of a patient stitching up a hand belonging to the woman who was dating Michael Corinthos. She didn't remember her name, wasn't sure if she had ever known it. The woman arrived to the ER holding a bloody left hand she had cut when she fell down holding a coffee pot. It was deep and needed five stitches but the woman stayed calm. The same thing couldn't be said for whoever was on the other end of her phone call. His worried voice carried over to her ears and Elizabeth found herself amused by the expression on the woman's face.
"I am fine Michael." Elizabeth now knew who she was talking too. "No, you don't have to do that. As soon as I get home I'm taking my medicine and will probably relax for a few hours so you just continue to enjoy spending time with your mom and Josslyn. I will call you once I make it home...I promise." The call ended and the woman apologized for the interruption.
"Don't worry about it." Elizabeth assured her.
"Michael is just a little over protective."
"Oh, I remember how that felt."
"I'm Abby by the way." She introduced herself.
"Elizabeth." She responded back.
"I heard about this morning's accident, was it pretty bad?" Abby asked.
"Yeah it was, but the good news was there were no fatalities."
"Oh that is good."
"It was touch and go for a few but they pulled through."
"I don't know how you can do it."
"It's tough sometimes, especially when they involve kids like the one from this morning. The little girl was only six years old and the whole time the Doctor's were working on her she was crying for her mommy."
"Was the mother hurt too?"
Elizabeth nodded her head. "She was already being taken up to surgery and it took awhile for us to get hold of her husband; but he finally showed up and was able to calm her down. Both mother and daughter seem to be doing well."
"That's a relief to hear."
"Yeah, though it doesn't mean they are out of the woods. They are in ICU but I am staying positive for them."
"I feel bad that my clumsiness is taking time away from those who need your help more than I do."
"You're not." Elizabeth inched her head closer. "If anything, this is a welcome change from the chaotic morning I had." Elizabeth whispered.
"Oh then I am glad to give that to you." Abby laughed.
"If you don't mind me asking, how did you fall?"
"I have no idea what happened really. I had just washed the coffee pot when I turned around, took a step and tripped. Over what, I couldn't even tell you; my own feet I guess.
"Ouch." Elizabeth sympathized.
"I am just thankful that the pot was empty or you would be treating me for burns too."
"Well I am glad that that wasn't the case."
"And now tonight I am going to be dealing with a hovering boyfriend."
"There is nothing wrong with that. I think it's great that he worries about you. It shows how much he cares."
"You're right; I didn't mean to sound so blasé about it. I just feel our relationship is different and slightly harder than most couples because of whom he is. And what I used to be doesn't exactly help either." Though she understood about the 'whom he is' part, Elizabeth was unsure what she meant by 'what I used to be' and wasn't going to ask her to explain. That was not any of her business. "The one good thing I see resulting from my injury is that I will be able to use it as an excuse to not have his sister over for dinner tomorrow."
"You two don't get along?" Elizabeth was a little curious why. She assumed it was Kristina Abby was referring too because she couldn't that she would ve talking about Molly.
"Not really. She hates me." This surprised Elizabeth. She couldn't imagine why Kristina would; Abby seemed like a nice person.
"I am sorry to hear that. I can imagine how hard it must be on you."
"It really has been hard. I try not to let her get to me but sometimes her words cut through...of course I don't let her know that or even show it."
"Well I hope things work out."
"Thank you."
"Sure." Elizabeth finished up with Abby's hand. "And we are done here."
"Oh good, I am hungry now and wouldn't mind picking up something to eat."
"That would be a good idea because you will want to make sure you have some food in you before taking any pills. I will be back in a few with your prescription, than you can be on your way."
"Okay. Thanks Elizabeth."
"No problem."
Fifteen minutes later Abby was waving goodbye to her as the elevator doors were closing. In front of her were a stack of charts that Elizabeth needed to take care of. Other than phone calls, things were pretty quiet around the Hub so she took advantage of this time and settled into getting them done. All that was on her mind was what to pick up for dinner because she was too tired to cook. Cameron and Jake would be thrilled by this. It wasn't often that she would do this but since they had finished the rest of their leftover's last night, then there really was no other option.
"I am beat." Matt exclaimed loudly as he tossed his chart on top of the larger pile.
"I think we can all agree with you there." Elizabeth picked up the chart and placed it with the ones she still needed to work on. "I am going to do my best to make sure my boys turn in early for the night."
"For your sake, I hope they do." With eyes closed, he leaned forward propping an elbow on the counter and placing his head in his hand.
"Are you on call tonight?" Elizabeth asked.
"No I am not and why you ask, well, that would be because I had switched with my brother so that I can treat my girlfriend to a nice evening out tonight only to have her call and cancel on me, yet again, because Spinelli needs her, also, yet again." Maxie had been cancelling a lot on Matt lately and she didn't understand why he continued putting up with it. So many times Elizabeth wanted to say something to him but held back because she knew a part of her, a big part, wanted to do so out of spite for the other woman and she respected Matt too much to do that.
"So you're flying solo tonight." She asked.
"Not exactly. Robin had just informed me that I will be having dinner with her and Emma and I was too tired to protest."
Elizabeth chuckled. "A home cooked meal; somehow I don't think it was much of a protest on your end."
"Hey, I'll have you know that I tried many times but she wouldn't accept it." Elizabeth lifted her head and quirked an eyebrow in disbelief. "Okay so it was only once but I could see that she wasn't going to take no for an answer."
"Sure."
"Don't you have patients to see Dr. Hunter?" Epiphany's voiced boomed from behind her, startling Elizabeth.
"As a matter of fact, no, I don't."
"I am sure there is something else you can find to do."
"No, I am good."
"Perhaps I am not making myself clear here Dr. Hunter so let me be straight forward; stop bothering my nurse?"
"See now I don't see it that way. While I've been standing here talking to Nurse Webber, she has been doing her job." Epiphany just glared at Matt willing him to go away but instead he flashed the woman a huge smile and even threw her a wink. Epiphany released a small chuckle and walked away shaking her head and mumbling something like 'brothers' and 'my undoing'.
"I don't know how you and Patrick do it but the two of you have a way with her."
"It's all part of the charm." Elizabeth just rolled her eyes.
Matt was paged away leaving her alone to finish up a few more charts. Elizabeth was thankful that she was able to get most of them done. She was on her last one when the phone rang. "Nurses station, Elizabeth Webber speaking."
"Elizabeth, hi, it's Olivia."
"Hey Olivia, Steven is in surgery right now but I'll tell him you called."
"Actually I was calling you."
"Oh." Elizabeth was surprised. "How can I help you?"
"Well, I was thinking that it was about time you and I get together one of these days. I've been with your brother for awhile now and would like for us to get to know each other better."
"That would be nice Olivia. I would really like that."
"Good. So I will rope Steven to take the kids for an evening and you and I can have some girl time."
"Oh, you don't have to twist my arm; I could use one."
"Is Thursday good for you?"
"Sure."
"Great! I will leave it between you siblings to decide which house he watches your boys in and we can meet up at Jake's, say at eight. I am in the mood for a beer."
"Jake's sounds good. I will see you then."
It had been so long since Elizabeth had a night out, so she was looking forward to Thursday. Instantly her mind wandered to old times when a group of them would meet up at Jake's for an impromptu night of shots. Mostly these would occur after they all had a bad day. They were fun times and though those days were gone, she would always remember them. Now she and Robin were the only two left of the group. Things between her and Lainey were never the same after she accused Elizabeth of actually hurting her own son when Jake was kidnapped. Last she heard she was now living in Washington. Kelly started dating a nice looking Attorney and when he was offered a promotion in another state, he asked Kelly to move with him. She declined but after a few month of seperation she changed her mind and packed up. The two were now engaged. Then there was her best friend whose life was cruelly cut much too short. Emily.
God, how I miss you.
Yes, it had been too long since she had a girl's night out and Elizabeth knew she needed this. Not just for time away from her boys but to get to know the woman that captured her brother's heart. Hearing that Abby was having trouble with Kristina made her want to make sure that didn't happen between her and Olivia. Elizabeth thought it would also be nice to invite her and Steven over for dinner sometime next week and maybe Dante and Lulu as well. It had been awhile since her ex sister-in-law had visited them and she knew the boys would love to see their aunt.
It wasn't long before Elizabeth finished all her charts and after walking a final round she made her way back to the locker room to change back into her clothes. As she headed up to the daycare to pick up Cameron and Jake, she wondered how the rest of Kristina's day was going and if she would be making an appearance at the café in the morning. A part of Elizabeth hoped so.
The house was quiet when Kristina got home, something she was thankful for. There was a lot for her to think about and Molly's endless chatter or her mother's neurotic rants was not something she needed to hear right now. She had no idea how long her home would remain silent but for now she would enjoy it. Kristina threw herself on the couch and stared up at the ceiling contemplating on what she would contemplate on first.
Did she want to think about how hurt she was that Ethan wanted to forget that she had opened herself up and bared her heart out to him? Was that something she really could ever do? Could she keep her feelings for him hidden so they could have a friendship that he seemed to want? Maybe she should pond over the fact that Elizabeth Webber used to once be married to her mom's ex-husband. Or perhaps she should think about how Sam wasn't Jason's one and only love? Not that she discounted his relationship with Robin Scorpio but the way she saw it, that was before Sam and once he met her sister then he could never love another. Kristina could just imagine how upsetting Molly would be to hear that Jason had loved someone else. She was always romanticizing their story.
If only you knew Molly.
Then there was also how isolated Elizabeth seemed to be from the rest of them. Of course she was only guessing here, for all Kristina knew she may be surrounded by friends. Somehow she doubted that. It was very hard for her to make the choice to walk away from Johnny and his files, but he was right, it wasn't something she should learn if she chose to pursue a friendship. Which now leads her to her main dilemma; whether or not it was wise to have Elizabeth become a part of her life?
Releasing a long sigh, Kristina rolled up into a sitting position and hugged a pillow to her chest. She wished that she had someone she could talk to about this. Her first instinct was to call Ethan, but she wasn't ready for that yet. She needed a few more days to steel her heart before she could resume spending time with him. Johnny was the only other person she could really talk to since obviously her mother and Sam were out of the question. Pulling out her phone, she located his number but paused before hitting call.
He's probably tired of me already.
"Tired or not…" Kristina pressed the button.
"Hey Kristina." He answered immediately.
"Hey." She greeted back. "I'm sorry for calling."
"Never apologize for that."
"Okay."
"Was there something else you wanted to know?"
"Actually I could use your advice now."
"Sure, how can I help?"
"Do you think it's a good idea for me to be friends with Elizabeth?"
"I kind of figured that's what you're calling about."
Kristina could hear the clinking sound of glass and knew Johnny was pouring himself a drink. She remembered he already had one earlier and somehow she knew that wasn't his first of the day. "Before you answer that can I say something and you not get too offended?"
A chuckle greeted her ears before he said, "You can tell me anything."
"I know things haven't been pleasant for you for awhile, I wish there was something I could do to make things better, but do you really think having so many drinks is the solution?" Nothing but silence greeted her and Kristina felt like she may have gone too far. "Not that I am saying you're an alcoholic or anything, because that's totally not the case." She tried to backpedal. "It's just that my dad does the same thing, as well as Ethan's and I don't want you to turn out like them."
"I don't want that either."
"You need to find yourself a nice woman." She found herself blurting out and could've smacked herself as soon as the words were out. "I don't mean just sex because you had that with Lisa and it didn't seem to help you…not that your sex life is my business…oh God this is coming out all wrong." There was nothing she could do to stop the embarrassed groan that escaped.
"How did we go from whether or not you should be friends with Elizabeth to my sex life?" Johnny asked; amusement evident in his voice.
"I have no idea." She admitted, still stupefied herself.
"Thinking about my sex life, have you Krissy?" He teased her.
"No." She laughed out. "I honestly don't know why that came out."
"Why don't you give it another try because I, for one, am now curious to know where you were going with this?" Kristina could hear how much he was enjoying her embarrassment. "How will finding myself a nice woman help me?"
"The way I see it, if you are with somebody you love, who makes you happy, than you'd turn to her when things become too much, instead of a drink." Now that she said it out loud, she heard how childish it sounded. "Of course what do I know?"
"It's good advice actually." Once again Kristina could hear the clinking sound of glass, but this time she believed he was putting it away. Knowing he listened to her and decided against pouring him that drink brought a huge smile to her face. "I just don't see that happening anytime soon."
"Maybe because you're not putting yourself out there, which is a shame; because you are too good looking to be shutting yourself off like that." Again, as soon as the words were out Kristina could've smacked herself. Instead she threw her head back against the sofa and began banging it a few times. "What the hell is wrong with me today?"
"I don't know but I am finding this Kristina quite enjoyable."
"Did I just say that out loud?" Johnny's laughter was answer enough for her. "Okay I am going to shut up now because my mouth seems to have a mind of its own and I am already red enough in the face."
"Can I get a picture of that?" Johnny joked. At least she hoped he was.
"No, but I can send a picture of the scowl I am now wearing." Of course this only made Johnny chuckle even more. "See, now as punishment for laughing at me it would serve you right if you ended up with another Lisa." That stopped him immediately and she wondered if that wasn't something she should've joked about. "You know I didn't really mean it, right Johnny?"
"I know. It's just that I am reminded of how I haven't apologized to you for what she did."
"It's not your fault, you didn't do it. So you have nothing to apologize for."
"I may not have but I'm still the one who helped her get away with so much knowing how obsessed she was with Patrick and Robin." Johnny cleared his throat before continuing. "But you are wrong; I do have something I need to apologize for."
"Which is?"
"For making Ethan doubt that you were telling him the truth about Lisa giving you the pills."
"He never told me that."
"Yeah well he stopped by demanding to see Lisa. When he told me why I asked him how he was sure you were telling the truth. That you were manipulative and lied once and could easily do it again."
"I..." Kristina did not know how to respond. To say that she was hurt by his words was an understatement. Was this what Johnny thought of her? Could it be true? They didn't exactly come from nowhere. She had falsely accused Ethan and forced herself in his path so many times; like inviting herself on his trip to the Dominican Republic to get his divorce. Not to mention the nuisance she made of Johnny's life coming up with that whole 'pretend were dating' fiasco that nearly killed them both.
"I've hurt you, and believe me Kristina that is the last thing I ever want to do."
"Is that what you really think?" She hated hearing how small her voice sounded.
"No it isn't."
"I would completely understand though. God knows how much of a pain in the ass I have probably become to both you and Ethan."
"You're anything but a pain in the ass."
"You can tell me the truth. I promise I can take it." That wasn't true but as flashes of all the foolish stunts she's done floated in her mind, she decided it was only fair she take whatever words he threw at her.
"Okay, here's the truth." He took a deep breath. "I chose to give Lisa the benefit of the doubt because she reminded me so much of my sister." That wasn't what she was expecting but she immediately suspected what he really meant.
"Because you think you weren't able to save Claudia, you hoped you could make up for that by helping Lisa." Johnny's silence confirmed it, but she didn't think she needed him too. Kristina somehow knew that was why he was with her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that."
"It's not that. I just have to say that I'm surprised you hit it right on the nail."
"Well if it's any consolation, I also chose to give her the benefit of the doubt. How do you think she got close enough to get me to take those pills?"
"We really are alike, aren't we?" There was something in the way he sounded when he said this.
"You make it sound like it's a bad thing."
"You said it." Johnny mumbled. Kristina didn't know if he meant for her to hear that. "Look at my life; this is not something I want for you."
"Being as that may, I have to learn to live in it because of who my father is. There is no changing that. It would really be nice if I know I can rely on you to guide me and help see me through this world we live in. We can be there for each other."
"So if I decided to do something stupid you would..."
"Slap some sense into you." Kristina answered as sweetly as she could which made Johnny laugh.
"No doubt you would do just that. But of course that means that turnabout is fair play when you come up with one of your crazy plans."
"Hey!" Kristina protested. "First of all I doubt you would ever slap me."
"You're right. I would never lay a hand to you." He agreed.
"Secondly, not all my plans are crazy."
"Oh really...? Okay, name one that played out successfully." Johnny challenged.
Kristina opened her mouth to respond, only to close it when nothing came to mind right away. She tilted her head and started thinking back only to come up empty. Well damn. "Okay, so I can't think of anything right away but you do have to admire my..."
"Stubbornness..."
"...Enthusiasm."
"Sure Krissy, whatever you say." The two joined in laughter. "So are we good?" He asked.
"Yeah, were good."
"Then how about we get back to the main reason for this phone call."
"So, do you think it's a good idea?"
"It's your life and what I or anyone say shouldn't make a difference; but what I do think is you have to decide whether or not you could actually be friends with her knowing what you know. Elizabeth seems to be nice enough and I think if you can handle her history with Jason than there is nothing wrong with it."
"I think that's exactly what I needed to hear. I guess I have some thinking to do."
"Don't stress too much over it."
"I won't" She promised. "Thank you."
"Anytime."
Somehow in-between the beginning and end of their conversation, Kristina felt a lot closer to Johnny than she ever had before. He really calmed her mind and by the time she settled into bed for the night, Kristina had decided she would set her alarm to wake up early in the morning in hopes of catching Elizabeth before she had to head into the hospital. She didn't know if she could easily let the whole thing go, but she really hoped she could because Elizabeth Webber was somebody she could see herself being friends with. Others may or may not be so keen to the idea but nobody would be able to say anything about it since they would be spending time in a café that only Johnny and Ethan knew about. Something Kristina was thankful for.
Jake's was crowded with unknown faces tonight and Ethan was relieved. After the day he had, he was in no mood to hold any conversation let alone a civil one. Coleman immediately picked up on this and made no attempts to approach him for anything more than to take the keys Ethan offered over and to refill his glass when it became empty. "I plan on getting very drunk", were the only words he spoke to the man behind the bar, who simply nodded, tucked the keys in his shirt pocket and then poured him a drink.
Except that after his first one was finished Ethan found he could do nothing more with the second drink but stare down at the brown liquid as he swirled it around and around in his glass. His thoughts were elsewhere, on a brown-haired, brown-eyed brat who threw him for one hell of a loop today when she asked him for space. She who turned up just about everywhere he was, who hounded him endlessly about returning her feelings. If he weren't so surprised he would've laughed that his stalker just asked him to keep a distance. But that was the problem; he didn't think of Kristina as a stalker. Despite the shaky road they once trekked on, he was pleased that they were able to look past all that and still remain friends. Now he wasn't so sure about said friendship and wondered if perhaps his father was right when he said that he walked a thin line where she was concerned.
"I really was planning on not saying anything." Coleman broke through his thoughts. "I figured you were going to get drunk and who am I to come between a man and his drink." He set his own glass down between them and leaned forward. "But then I watched as you just sat here staring down inside the glass as if it held all your answers and, well, hate to break it to you man but you won't find them in a bottle."
"Who say's I'm looking for any?"
"Oh hell we're all looking for answers; but in your case I recognize that look. So tell me, which question are you seeking an answer for tonight?" Ethan chose to say nothing. "My guess would be that this is about a woman...Ooh and by the expression on your face I'm gonna say I got it in one. Now the next question would be which lady it is that has got you looking so down?"
"I liked it better when you ignored me. Think we could back to that." Ethan laid on the sarcasm, hoping the man would let him be. Like the rest of his day, nothing went his way.
"You and that tall gorgeous doctor are now divorced so it can't be her unless you're still harboring feelings." The man studied Ethan for a brief moment. "Nah, that's not it. Maya doesn't live here anymore and the times I have seen you, you have been fine up until today. So who else could it be?" He took a swig of his drink as he took a quick glance around the bar before swinging his gaze back in his direction. "The only people I see you with are members of your family, Johnny, Sonny's daughter..." Suddenly Coleman's eyes went wide and a huge lopsided grin broke out. "That's it, isn't it?"
"You don't know anything."
"I know that the little mob princess has been harboring a crush on you for a long time now." Ethan's eyes widened in surprised. "Yeah, I know about that. We may not run in the same crowd but believe me, I know things. So what happened? Are you starting to realize that maybe...?"
"Don't go there mate." Ethan threatened.
"It's cool, I won't. So I take it you turned her down."
"I did."
"Hey man, it's about time. Sure it's flattering and all but I am sure after awhile it becomes a bother always having an unwanted shadow on you."
"But now Kristina wants space."
"Well isn't that kind of the general idea."
"No, because she's important to me."
"If that response is any indication to how you communicate with the poor girl then I think I'm beginning to understand why she remained fixated on you for so long."
Ethan chose to ignore that. "What I meant was I still want us to remain friends."
"You're acting as though you won't be."
"I feel that things won't be the same again."
"There not suppose to." Ethan shot Coleman a confused look.
"Why wouldn't they be?"
"Because up until now, everything she has said, done or how she behaved have been tied in with her feelings for you. You turning her down will change all that. Now she will have to behave differently around you."
"I really hope we can get past this."
"Give her time; she'll come around."
"I guess we will see." Ethan pulled out his wallet and paid for his drinks. "I am alright to drive so I will go ahead and take my keys back." He threw back the remainder of his drink before catching the keys Coleman tossed back at him. "Thanks."
"All part of the job."
"Annoying customers?"
"Listening to their problems and offering an outside perspective." Seeing the glint in the man's eyes he had a feeling that Coleman was about to share something with him that he wouldn't like.
"I know you mean well, but I'm not exactly in a great frame of mind to hear whatever it is that you are about to say so can we shelve it for another day?"
"Sure thing man."
"Thanks mate."
"Until next time." The man saluted him before turning his attention to the woman who had just walked up to the bar.
Once Ethan made it home he debated whether or not to call Kristina but seeing that it was close to midnight and that he agreed to give her the space she asked for, he decided against it. His ringing phone surprised him and for a second he hoped that it was her calling him. "Hello."
"I kind of figured you were up." Disappointment washed over him when he heard Johnny's voice.
"I just made it home. What's up?"
"Swing by the penthouse tomorrow afternoon. You, my friend, are going to learn everything Kristina wanted to know today."
"Why would I need to?"
"A bullet was dodged today, but we both know that won't always be. Eventually the curiosity will be too much for her and she is going to want to know the truth. She will either come to me or seek them out on her own but when that day comes, and there is no doubt in my mind it will come, then we both will need to help her get through it and make sure she doesn't do anything stupid."
Ethan rubbed a hand down his face and released a long tired sigh. He agreed with Johnny. Kristina won't be able to let this go. It was just a matter of when. "I was going to call her and make sure she was okay but I stopped myself."
"She is fine."
"You talked to her again?" Ethan couldn't quite keep from sounding a bit jealous and hearing the other man's chuckle he knew he had caught that.
"I did and before you ask; no it wasn't about you. We talked some of what happened earlier but mostly I was able to do something I should've done awhile back. Something I need to do with you as well."
"And that would be?"
"To apologize for my words and behavior when you confronted me about those pills Lisa gave Kristina."
"I really wanted to deck you that day." Ethan admitted.
"I am surprised you held back."
"I didn't tell Kristina any of what you said."
"So I heard. Why didn't you?" Johnny asked.
"I don't know."
"You doubted her, didn't you?"
"I did." Ethan admitted shamefully.
"Was it because of the things I said?"
"Half of it was and the other half was on me for believing that everything you said could be true."
"What did you say to her?"
"I asked if she was lying and assured her that it was okay if she was but that she had to tell me the truth."
"That must not have gone well."
"Actually Kristina took it better than I expected. She said she could understand why I would doubt her. After assuring that she was telling me the truth I believed her."
"So since you doubted her yourself you found no reason to tell her what I said."
"That would be correct."
"Well she knows everything and I apologized to her."
"Everything?" Ethan was surprised to hear this. He remembered some of the comments Johnny had made about Kristina. "How did she take it?"
"She didn't come out and say it, but I knew she was hurt by them."
"But everything is good between you two?"
"They are, and now I would like to do the same thing with you. I am sorry for my whole behavior during that time."
"Why thank you sir and apology accepted, though I had already forgiven you earlier today." Ethan admitted with a chuckle.
"Is that so, and what had I done that granted me forgiveness?"
"That would be getting me Kristina's exact whereabouts."
"Ah...giving you two the chance to talk."
"What good that did."
"Hey you have to understand where she's coming from. I should think you'd be happy now. After all she has finally accepted that you won't ever see her as anymore than a friend. That is what you wanted, right?"
"Yeah." The word came out sounding more like a question than an answer.
"You don't sound so sure."
"Yes." He stated more firmly.
"So be thankful then and give her space; she'll come around."
"You're right."
"Well I don't know about you but I am done for the night. I will see you tomorrow."
"I'll see you then."
Sleep did not come easy for Ethan. He tossed and turned replaying parts of today over and over in his head. Because up until now, everything she has said, done or how she behaved have been tied in with her feelings for you. After so long of wishing Kristina would get over the school girl crush she had on him, she has begun to do so and instead of sighing in relief he found himself hating it. You turning her down will change all that. Now she will have to behave differently around you. What exactly would that mean? Will he no longer see the blush that stained her cheeks anytime he paid a compliment or watch as her eyes lit up whenever she saw him? Would their time together lessen now that she would no longer pop up in all the places he was? Will she still flash him that big beautiful smile of hers that was reserved for him alone or was he prone to receive the forced stiffed smiles like the one he got from her earlier?
That is what you wanted, right?
No it wasn't. Not if it meant he would be losing all the unique and special things that made her who she was; especially to him. He feared that once she no longer needed space, he would be meeting a different Kristina. If that happened than what kind of impact would that have between them? That last question stayed on his mind as he finally drifted off to a restless sleep.
Author's Note: Thank you for reading. Chapter 3 will be added soon. Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcomed.