AN: I think I should address again that this story is written solely for fun and is based loosely off of the movie My Best Friends Wedding. I've had quite a few people send me messages about how this reminds them of a movie they watched. It's intentional. On the other side of the coin, I've had some people say they don't understand why this Tanya is so dingy, or why I made her so young, etc... those are characteristics taken straight from the movie (the character in it was actually a million times ditzier and sunshiney). Hope that helps.

Thanks to the beautiful ShearEnvy for the beta job, and to all of the readers (thank you for sharing your thoughts/opinions with me).

Chapter 9: "Complicate"
"Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity." - Thor-Heyerdahl

I forced my eyes open and stared at the ceiling above me. My head was pounding fiercely, my vision blurry. I rolled over onto my side, my stomach churning from the movement, and glanced at the alarm clock beside the bed. The glowing red numbers told me it was a few minutes past three and it took a moment for it to register that the room was bright, every inch of it glowing from the sunlight filtering in through the window.

"Fuck," I rasped, jumping up quickly when it struck me I'd slept half the day away. Everything went black for a moment from dizziness and I grabbed a hold of the bed, trying to stabilize myself. Once things started coming back into focus I headed for the door, still half out of it. I felt like hell and imagined I looked similar. I had a vague recollection of being at the club last night, but had no idea how I'd gotten home.

I descended the steps slowly, careful not to trip and fall in my haze, and staggered toward the kitchen for a drink of water. I had major cottonmouth to the point where it hurt, and my throat burned when I tried to swallow. The house was silent except for the sound of my bare feet slapping against the wooden floor.

The moment I stepped into the kitchen I caught sight of someone sitting at the table. All I could see was the newspaper being held up with a set of hands clutching it, a ceramic coffee mug on the table in front of him. "Jesus, Charlie, I hope you're not still waiting on breakfast," I grumbled, yawning as I opened a cabinet and pulled out a glass. I filled it with water from the tap, taking a long drink. "I'm soooo not cooking right now."

I heard the shuffling of the newspaper behind me, followed by a dry laugh. "Lazy bitch."

I choked on my water, spraying it all over my shirt and the floor as I quickly swung around. My eyes widened with shock when I saw the familiar face staring at me. "Jake?" I asked, stunned. "Why... how... what the hell, Jake? How'd you get in here?"

"Don't ask," he said. "It would only make you an accessory after the fact."

"Does Charlie know you're here?"

He looked confused. "Charlie?"

"Yes, Charlie. My dad."

"Oh, no. Haven't seen him," he said. "I've been here since about noon, and you're the first living thing I've seen." He paused. "Well, besides this dreadful looking spider that was climbing on the wall earlier... but it's not living anymore."

I shook my head. "You broke into the Chief of Police's house?"

He nodded. "It was quite simple, too. Your father might need a refresher course on safety."

"Yeah, but it's not like the city where you have to worry about that kinda stuff. It's a small town, everyone knows each other."

"You're preaching to the choir, honey," he said. "I knew this was a 12 o'clock town the moment I arrived."

"What's a 12 o'clock town?"

"You know, where the only thing open after midnight are a hooker's legs."

I laughed, shaking my head. "You have issues. What are you even doing here, anyway?"

"Trying to get some breakfast, but obviously I missed my chance on that one," he said, his eyes scanning me. His nose scrunched up, a look of disgust on his face. "Good thing, too. I want nothing you're serving. You're dirty as hell, Jezebella. When was the last time you showered?"

"Yesterday," I muttered, glancing down at myself. I still had my jeans and t-shirt on from last night, and I didn't even want to think about what my hair looked like at that moment. "I just woke up. Haven't gotten the chance yet."

"Dear God, what's happened to you, girl? Partying all night, sleeping all day. I'm beginning to think there's actually a real human inside that frigid shell of yours."

I rolled my eyes, punching him in the arm. "I'm not frigid," I said. "I'm just responsible."

"Responsible? You?" He shook his head. "A responsible person wouldn't hang out with the likes of me."

"Sometimes I honestly wonder why I do."

"Because I look good," he replied, grinning his radiant, charming smile. "Besides, you need me. It's obvious I'm going to have to be the brains of this operation. You obviously can't do this alone."

I narrowed my eyes. "I don't need you. I'm doing perfectly fine, thanks."

He laughed like I had just said the funniest thing in the world. "You must not remember calling me."

I tensed. "I called you?"

"Yes, why do you think I'm here? God knows I didn't come to this place for a vacation. It's in the middle of BFE. I'd never..."

"BFE?" I asked, interrupting.

"Bum-Fuck Egypt. Now keep up, will you? We don't have time for me to keep explaining these things," he said. "I'd never come here if I didn't think it was necessary, and after last night I'm certain it is."

"Why?" I asked, confused. "Why did I call?"

He smiled with amusement and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He pressed a few buttons and held it out to me. "Listen for yourself."

I took the phone hesitantly and put it up to my ear about the same time my voice came over the line. Or rather, someone who sounded vaguely like me. The woman on the phone was a blubbering mess, slurring to the point where I could barely make out a word of the message. "What the hell did I say?"

He shrugged, taking the phone back. "Your guess is as good as mine, but the moment I heard that gibberish I knew you were in too deep. You're a little kid playing a grown man's game."

"I'm not a little kid," I interjected, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at him. "I'm just new at this whole 'winning a guy over' thing."

"New at it? You're practically still a virgin."

"I'm not that bad," I grumbled, sitting down in the chair across from him. "I've been with my share of guys, Jake. It's just that it's weird with Edward because of our history."

"That makes it easier," he said. "You know him. You should know what he wants."

"I do," I said. "Or, I mean, I think I do."

"Good," Jake said. "So now you just have to be that. Easy as pie."

"Easy as pie," I repeated, shaking my head. It sure didn't seem that easy.

"Yes," he said. "And speaking of which, is there anywhere in this hole-in-the-ground town where a man can get a piece?"

I glanced at him with shock. "A piece of what?"

"Pie, Bella," he said, raising his eyebrows and giving me a look that said he clearly thought I was dumb. "What else would I want a piece of?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. Ass, maybe."

He laughed loudly and kicked me under the table, pain ricocheting up my calf. "Well I'll be damned. There is a real person in there."

"This is just... I have no words," Jake called to me over the sound of the shower. I was just standing under the spray, letting the warm water rain down on me. I was hoping it would wake me up, make me coherent, but the sound of the water only made me want to go back to sleep.

"What's wrong?" I asked, poking my head out of the curtain. Jake was standing in the doorway, half in the bathroom and half in the hallway.

"This bathroom," he said. "It's absurd."

I laughed. "It's not so bad."

"Not so bad, Bella? It's so tiny its unusable! I couldn't even pull my cock out in here. It wouldn't fit."

I rolled my eyes, disappearing back into the shower as he laughed. I washed my hair before shutting off the water, motioning for Jake to hand me a towel.

I wrapped it around me, making sure I was covered before stepping out into the bathroom. I brushed past Jake and into the bedroom, grabbing my suitcase and sifting through the clothes. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but Jake snatched them from my hands. "Jesus, Bella, it's no wonder you're failing. Put a little effort into it, honey."

He rooted through my clothes, handing me a navy blue summer dress. "Really? This?" I asked, eyeing it with distaste.

"Yes, this," he insisted. "You're impossible sometimes, you know."

I was standing there, still glaring at the dress, when there was some kind of commotion downstairs. "Is that Charlie?" I asked, panicking as I looked at Jake.

"Oh, I don't know," he said, shrugging casually. He stepped out into the hall, glancing down the steps briefly before coming back in the room. "Unless your dad looks like a Calvin Klein model wearing way too many clothes, I'm gonna have to say no."

I tensed as someone called out from the first floor, footsteps beginning to ascend the stairs. "Shit, it's Edward," I whispered, on the verge of panicking.

"That's Edward?" Jake asked, looking genuinely surprised. "He doesn't look like your type."

"My type?" I asked, trying to push Jake away from the door. "What the hell is my type?"

"I don't know. Less Mitt Romney, more Adam Levine," he replied, refusing to budge.

What the fuck? "Mitt Romney?"

"Okay, bad example. Maybe less Mark Wahlberg, more Marky Mark?"

I groaned and pushed him again. He was making no sense. "Damnit, Jake. Move."

"What? Why are you pushing me?"

"Because he's coming!" I hissed. "You have to hide!"

"Hide where?" he asked, looking around with disbelief.

"The closet," I replied, shoving him toward it. He stumbled a few steps and laughed, grabbing my arms before I could shove him again.

"I came out of the closet long ago, Jezebella. I ain't going back in."

"But he's coming!" I said again. Jake just shrugged. I froze, hearing Edward call my name again. It was much closer that time, almost to us.

"Swan, are you still sleeping?" Edward asked, approaching the room. "Hell, are you even conscious? After what you drank last night, I..."

The door was pushed open and his voice stopped abruptly. I looked behind me, panicked, and saw Edward standing right inside the room. His eyes were wide with shock, his body as still as a statue. He stared at me, looking somewhere between awestruck and downright horrified.

I looked down at myself and sighed. I was damn near naked, a small towel barely covering my lady bits, and a guy had his arms wrapped around me from behind. A guy, I should add, who was grinning like the Cheshire Cat while looking like a starving man that hadn't eaten in weeks.

Fuck my life.

"Uh, sorry," Edward said, averting his eyes. "I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll just, uh... I'll go."

"No, wait!" I blurted when he turned to leave, prying Jake's arms off of me. "It's not what it looks like!"

"It's okay, Swan. it's none of my business," Edward responded.

"No, seriously. It's not... we weren't, you know..."

"Fucking," Jake chimed in.

I rolled my eyes and shoved Jake again. "Thanks for clarifying," I muttered.

Edward peeked back at us, the look on his face the same. He was obviously uncomfortable. "I didn't realize you were... well, that you had company."

I smiled nervously at him. "Uh, yeah. He just drove in from Seattle this morning."

"Ah, so he's... you actually know him?"

I stared at him with confusion, not understanding the question, and Jake started laughing. Loudly. He nudged me with his elbow and I nearly lost my towel, quickly grabbing it to keep myself covered.

"He's worried you picked me up somewhere and brought me home, Bella," Jake said. "Like a stray dog."

"Oh, God no," I said, shaking my head furiously.

"Like I said, it's none of my business," Edward muttered.

"But that's not me," I said. "I don't do that."

"It's true," Jake said. "I tried to convince her a few times when we first met that it was okay to indulge in a little casual sex for fun, but she was adamantly against it. Bella Swan is strictly relationship pussy."

I cringed at the blatant word and noticed Edward flinched, like he'd been physically hit. "Can we not talk about..." I started.

"Your pussy?" Jake said again.

I groaned. "Yes. Anything but that."

He shrugged. "Whatever you want. I think a good place to start would be introductions, though."

Shit. What was wrong with me? "Edward, this is Jake. He's my b-"

I stopped speaking abruptly when it struck me what I was about to say. Best Friend. I looked at Jake with surprise, suddenly realizing that was how I saw him. I shared my secrets with him, both the good and the bad. We shopped together, he helped pick out my clothes, and when I needed advice he was there every time. I didn't have to ask him for help, or even tell him I needed it. He always just knew, by the sound of my voice and the gibberish of my words. He was my support, my rock, the one I schemed with and gossiped to about guys.

He was my best friend... but what did that make Edward?

Both guys were speaking, but I was so caught off guard by the revelation that their words were lost to me.

"I'll let you get dressed, Swan," Edward said after a moment, smiling gently. It didn't reach his eyes, though. His eyes were full of sadness.

"Uh, yeah. I should probably do that," I said, blushing.

"I'll see you two in a bit," he said. "Tanya will be happy to know your boyfriend's in town."

I nodded, and Edward left the room before it struck me what he'd said. "Wait, hold the fuck up. Why'd he call you my boyfriend?"

Jake laughed. "Apparently he thinks we're dating, Jezebella."

I looked at him with horror. "Why didn't you correct him?"

He shrugged. "Why didn't you?"

"Fuck," I spat. "I didn't think he'd think... I just thought, you know... Oh God, he thinks we... shit, do you think I should..."

"Whoa, Bella. That's a whole lot of thinking there," Jake said, holding his hands up to stop me from speaking. "That's not particularly your strong suit."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What are we gonna do? I have to clear it up!"

He sighed. "I don't know, let's think about this."

We stared at each other for a moment before I just started laughing. "That's your solution, Jake? You tell me to stop thinking, and your answer is to think about it?"

He cracked a smile. "Makes perfect sense. Besides, my solution's simple."

"What is it?"

"We let him think it."

I stared at him with shock. "Why?"

"Why? Give him a dose of his own medicine, let him see how it feels. If he wants you like you want him, it'll be blatantly obvious soon enough. Jealousy is an ugly bitch."

"Jealousy seems to be my middle name," I grumbled.

"Yeah, like I said... an ugly bitch."

"Oh, screw you." I shoved him once again, rolling my eyes. "This is crazy, Jake."

"It is. I just said I wasn't going in that damn closet, and what happens? You shove my ass back into the figurative one."

"I have to figure out how to handle this," I muttered. " Plan what to say."

"Well, you better figure it out quickly," Jake replied, grinning, "because we're meeting Edward and his lovely fiancée for pie in twenty minutes."

"I can't believe you didn't tell us you had a boyfriend!" Tanya said excitedly, taking a small bite from her piece of cherry pie.

"Yeah, really," Edward muttered, poking at his. He'd stabbed it into dozens of small pieces, scattering it around the plate, but I'd yet to see any of it make it into his mouth. "I even asked."

"You didn't ask," I said.

"Yes, I did," he said defensively. "It was one of the first things I asked, whether there were any guys in your life."

Shit. He was right. "Oh, well, I didn't really wanna have to... I mean, I don't want to..."

Clearly, I sucked at this lying thing.

"She didn't want to take the spotlight," Jake chimed in, draping his arm around my shoulder. "You know how Bella is, always so considerate."

If I'd been eating, I would've choked. Considerate people didn't plot to break up an engagement.

"Yeah, I know how she is," Edward replied, focusing back on his pie.

"Well, I, for one, think this is fantastic!" Tanya said. "I need deets! How long have you known each other? Where'd you meet?"

"We've known each other for few years," Jake said, squeezing me to him. I forced a smile as he kissed the top of my head, even though I felt completely ridiculous. "It was one of those rainy days in Seattle, where everything was gray and dreary. I'd forgotten my umbrella, like a dope, but this beautiful woman walked into my life and offered to share hers with me. She said, 'now that it's raining more than ever, you can stand under my umbrella.' She was my sunshine on a cloudy day."

I looked at him incredulously, fighting the urge to roll my eyes. How many song lyrics could he manage to squeeze into one conversation? Apparently, a few more...

"I said to her, 'baby, I'm yours, if you want me.' Because the truth is, she had me from hello. I saw the sign then. I said, 'I don't care who you are, where you're from; don't care what you did, as long as you love..."

"Okay, I think that's enough," I interrupted, shaking my head. He'd seriously lost his fucking mind. "They get the point."

Jake shrugged, grinning with amusement as Tanya gaped at him from across the table. She was eating up every word. "Aww, that is so sweet!" she exclaimed, turning to Edward. "Is that how you felt meeting me?"

"Absolutely," he said without missing a beat. "I knew how lucky I was right away. I couldn't believe that something like you could happen to me."

Liar, liar, pants on fire, I sang in my head, so smugly I almost didn't catch exactly what he'd said. I looked at him with shock when it hit me, seeing he was eyeing me from across the table.

He'd just quoted NSYNC lyrics. NSYNC. What the motherfuck?

He smiled knowingly when he saw my expression and looked away from me, finally taking a big bite of his pie.

"I'm drink."

"Drink as a skink?"

It took some effort, but I managed to get my head to turn to the side. Or flop, really. My neck didn't seem to wanna work. "That's not how it goes, Edburd. It's drunked as a skunked."

He chuckled and glanced at me, his green eyes twinkling under the moonlight. "What the hell did you just call me?"

He wasn't making sense. "I called your name."

"My name's Ed-ward," he said, sounding it out.

"I know your damned named, Edburd."

He looked really amused. "You're the bird, Swan. Not me."

I just stared at him. I had no idea what the fuck he meant by that.

We were in his car, parked near the big lake in Port Angeles. I had no idea what time it was, everything fuzzy in my alcohol-induced haze. I wasn't even sure how we'd gotten there. We'd been at the club, and suddenly we weren't there anymore.

"Did we fly?" I asked.

Another laugh. "Why, because we're birds?"

I rolled my eyes so hard they hurt. "No, not because we're birds. Because we were there and now we're here and not there, and I dunno what happened between. It was like POOF! And here were are!"

I flailed my arms around so he'd understand, almost smacking him in the head by accident, but he managed to dodge the blow. "You're drunk, Swan."

"I already said that."

"Yeah, you did. Or you tried to, anyway," he replied. "And I drove us here like five minutes ago. You forgot that shit already?"

Yes, I obviously had.

"No," I said, poking him in the chest with my pointer finger. "I was just testing you."

He grabbed my hand, holding it there. "Did I pass?"

"Yes. A-plus plus plus plus plus."

Smiling, he let go of me. "You're only saying that because you're drunk."

He was probably right, considering I didn't even know what we were talking about anymore. "You shouldn't drunk drive, you know. Charlie will be mad."

"I'm not drunk, Swan. I had one beer like three hours ago."

I eyed him suspiciously. "Why am I drunk then?"

"I guess you were thirsty," he replied. "I drove over here to give you some time to sober up before we headed home."

"I'm sobered," I said.

He laughed. "The fact that you can't say the word right tells a different story."

"What story?"

He stared at me blankly. "What do you mean?"

"You said tell a story."

"No, I said... never mind. You're drunk."

"I think you might be right," I said, reclining the seat in the Camaro so I was practically laying down. "I dunno how it happened. I don't remember drinking that much."

"Do you remember anything that happened tonight?"

"You sang," I said. "It was the beautifullest thing. I'll never forget that. You should always sing."

He smiled, reclining his seat beside mine. "I wish I could, Swan."

We were both quiet, just staring at each other in the darkness encasing the car. Ever so slowly he inched toward me. The tips of our noses brushed together before his lips met mine. It was soft and sweet, barely a connection. It was nothing like the kiss in the club. It had been messy and awkward, as my forcefulness caught him off guard.

He pulled away and I grinned. Tingles shot through my body, the alcohol and adrenaline putting me on a high. "I kissed you," I said, proud of myself for being so brave.

He chuckled. "I'm pretty sure I just kissed you, Swan, not the other way."

"I kissed you first," I said matter-of-factly.

"No, I kissed you first," he said. "Weeks ago."

I was surprised. It was the first time either of us had mentioned it. "You remember that?"

"Of course I do. I wasn't that drunk," he said. "I'm just wondering if you'll remember this one."

"Of course I will," I said, taking his words. "I'm not that drunked."

He just laughed.

We stared at each other again before my eyelids started getting heavy and closing on their own. "You should sing again," I mumbled.

"I will. Someday." He paused. "Maybe."

"No, not someday, maybe," I said. "Now."

"Now?" he asked, laughing. "What, is this payback for making you sing me to sleep?"

"Yes."

He was quiet for a moment before his soft voice filled the car, the lyrics washing through me. He was singing my favorite song. I didn't even know he knew it.

"Something happens when you look at me I forget to speak;

Something happens when you kiss my mouth my knees get so weak;

Could it be true is this what God has meant for me?

Cuz baby I can't believe...that something like you could happen to me."

Blackness took me, as I was much too drunk to resist its temptation. When I finally came to again and pried my eyes open, the first thing I saw was a peacefully sleeping Edward, huddled on the drivers seat. I had a crick in my neck and my head pounded furiously, my mouth as dry as the desert and vision fuzzy. The sunlight blaring in the window from above the lake nearly blinded me, and it took me a moment to realize what was going on.

Car. Sleeping. Lake. Headache. Daylight.

Oh, shit. We were in trouble.

Jake kept his arm around my shoulder as he led me out of the diner, Tanya and Edward both following behind us. Jake had snatched the bill, insisting on paying despite Edward's strong protests. I glanced behind me and saw he didn't look happy, his eyes focused on the ground and hands shoved in the pockets of his khaki pants.

"This was nice," Tanya said. "Please say you're staying in town, Jake!"

"Maybe for a few days," Jake replied, glancing at me. "I can't stay away from the city for long. Seattle would fall apart without me."

Tanya bounced on her feet, clapping her hands excitedly. Clapping...like a cheerleader. There was something really wrong with that girl. "We'll have to do something while you're in town, all of us!"

I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could, Edward chimed in. "Yeah, how about that trip to La Push?"

"Uh, I don't know..." I started as Tanya clapped again, obviously having no idea what she was getting herself into.

"Oh come on, Swan. You're not too good for it now, are you?"

"No, of course not."

"Well, don't tell me Jake, here, can't hack it."

"Yeah, Bella," Jake said, eyeing me intensely. "Don't tell the man I can't hack it, because you know I can."

I sighed, resigned. They were all staring at me expectantly and I had no good excuse to make them drop it. "Fine, great. La Push it is."

Edward smirked. "How about we pack up tomorrow? That way we'll miss the weekend rush."

Weekend rush was severely overstating it. Maybe three or four people ever camped in that area. "Alright, tomorrow then."

Edward nodded, pulling his keys from his pocket as he headed toward the shiny, silver Volvo. It looked like a car a soccer mom would drive- there was nothing manly about it at all. I turned toward Jake's car, a Prius. Definitely not manly either, but what did you expect from a gay newspaper columnist?

Jake let go of me and took Tanya's hand, lightly kissing the back of it. "It's been a pleasure. You are a cool drink of water, such a sweet surprise."

I rolled my eyes, climbing in the passenger seat before I had to hear any more of his bullshit. He got in the driver's seat after a minute and I shook my head as he started the car up. "Really, Jake? Did you have to quote Poison?"

"It was Warrant who sang Cherry Pie, honey. Get your hair-bands straight," he said. "And what is this La Push thing I'm hacking?"

I sighed. "Camping. Hiking. Fishing."

He looked at me incredulously. "Like, outside?"

"Yep. La Push is a reservation a few miles away at the shore."

"Jesus, Bella, why didn't you say something? You know the only reservations I'm interested in are ones at five-star restaurants."

I shrugged. "You're the one who said you could hack it."

"Yes, because I didn't know what La Push was," he said. "It sounds exotic, like Pinot Grigio and Creme Brulee and sex with a hot Frenchman named Pierre on a Persian rug."

"Yeah, well, La Push is none of that," I said. "It's trees and sand and fish and cheap beer."

He shook his head furiously. "Notcheap beer."

"Yes, cheap beer," I said. "Warm and from a keg, even."

He shuddered. "That's horrible, Bella. Positively horrible."

Charlie's cruiser was parked in the driveway when we arrived back at the house. Jake and I headed inside, finding my father sitting in his recliner with his feet propped up. PBS was on the TV, an episode of Antiques Roadshow playing.

"I love this show!" Jake exclaimed, strolling across the room. Charlie's head snapped in Jake's direction, watching him incredulously as he plopped down on the couch.

"Who the hell are you?" Charlie asked.

"The name's Jake," he replied. "Jake Black. Pleasure to finally meet you, sir."

Charlie's eyes darted to me with confusion. "Jake came down from Seattle to visit me," I explained. "He's, uh... he's my..."

"Boyfriend," Jake replied, giving me a hard look when I blanched. I hadn't even considered the fact that I'd have to lie to my father. This was getting complicated. There was no way Charlie would buy it.

"Boyfriend?" Charlie asked with disbelief, the color draining from his face. "Since when do you have a boyfriend?"

"Since... now."

Jake laughed at my lame response, but offered no help explaining.

"And he's visiting? Where's he staying?"

I could sense Charlie's panic. "Uh, here, I guess. I mean, it's just for a few days." I paused, looking at Jake. "You were staying a few days, right?"

He nodded. "Yep, wouldn't miss it for the world."

Charlie just stared at me and I averted my gaze, knowing he was trying to read me. "But I thought... well, I assumed..." he started.

I didn't look at him and he didn't finish his statement, but I knew exactly where he was going with it. He thought I'd come to Forks to win Edward back, and I had... it was just a little more complicated than I expected it to be.

I walked over and sat down beside Jake, trying to ignore my father's stares. "Well, where's he sleeping?" Charlie asked eventually, unable to drop it. His panic was escalating. "You know how I feel about people in your room."

"Yeah, I know," I replied. "Jake can take my room, though, since he's company. I'll sleep on the couch."

"Oh, no," Jake interjected, putting his arm around my shoulder and pulling me to him. He kissed the top of my head before roughing up my hair a bit. "I wouldn't dream of taking your room. I'llsleep on the couch, Bella-Bear."

I looked at him incredulously and he smirked, obviously enjoying my torture. Some friend...

"So, what are we watching?" I asked, trying to change the subject as I turned back to the television. "I mean, are you so lonely that you resorted to antiquing, Charlie?"

I chanced a peek at him and saw he looked panicked, his face pale. "It's the only thing on," he grumbled, turning away from me.

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed the remote to change the channel. Charlie tried to protest but I ignored him, hitting the button anyway. My brow furrowed when it was nothing but static, a snowy, gray picture greeting me nearly every time I pressed it. "What happened to the cable?"

He sighed. "I had it turned off this morning. It was getting too expensive. It's robbery, I tell you. They take channels from you but charge you more and more for it."

I heard every word he'd said, but not a bit of it made any sense to me. It didn't sound like my father. He may not be big on technology, but he'd had cable my entire life. "But what about your sports? It's almost football season."

"I can catch some games at Billy's," he said, shrugging. "Besides, the scores are always in the morning paper, so I'll know what happens."

He was talking like a crazy person. He'd clearly lost it, something in him snapping. My father loved his sports. He'd only taken off work twice in his life that I was aware of, and those were both for Seahawks games. He'd nearly missed my birth because of work, and hadn't made it to my high school graduation for the same reason.

What the hell had gotten in to the people around here? Hello, Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked. "And what did you do with my father?"

Charlie laughed, but it wasn't a light, carefree sound. He was anxious. "I'm still me, Bells, but people grow up. Priorities change."

I had no idea what to say, so I said nothing. I turned PBS back on and settled back onto the couch, Jake's arm still around me. "Antiquing it is then, I guess."

AN: There won't be a chapter next week (I know, I know), but it'll pick back up the week after that. It'll be around 20 chapters total.