A/N: Once upon a time there was a wanna-be writer that started a story sorta kinda loosely based on My Best Friends Wedding using Twilight characters (without the horrible, no good, stupid ending of the movie). This writer promised weekly updates, every Friday like clockwork, and for a time she was successful in this endeavor. But one day the goddamn tornado showed up (in the form of OMFG pain) and there was the wicked witch, disguised as a bum pancreas, fucking everything up this writer had going on. The writer doused the bitch in water (and high doses of morphine) and she went away, but her pesky little winged monkeys (aka bastard gall stones) occasionally keep raising hell. So basically, the moral of the story is, the writer is trying to get back home but she's still over here stuck in motherfucking emerald city, so please be patient with my slow-to-recover dumbass.

Seriously, though, thank you for reading.

Chapter 16: Scars

"The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal." - Astrid Alauda

I gaped at Edward as he paced the room.

"You still love me?" I asked, stunned he'd said it. The butterflies in my stomach soared when I repeated his words, my heart skipping a beat as I processed what that meant. He loved me. Still, ...after all this time, ...he loved me.

Fuck yeah!

"Of course I do," he said, running his hand through his hair. He gripped onto a handful of the chaotic locks and groaned loudly. "Or I think I do. I don't fucking know, Swan."

"You love me," I said again, and this time it wasn't a question. He could backtrack all he wanted, but it wouldn't negate the fact that he'd actually said it. Maybe it was stupid, but I clung to that fact with everything inside of me. I hadn't imagined it that time. He had admitted he loved me.

"This is so wrong," he said, shaking his head. Despite the fact that he was frazzled and looked to be close to breaking down, I couldn't help but smile. He wasn't denying it, not really.

"It's not wrong."

"It is wrong," he insisted. "I'm engaged and you have this... this... boyfriend. And he's all wrong for you, but Jesus, so am I! Look at me. My fiancee is next door, upset about what I told her, and the first thing I do is come over here. To you, Swan. I ran straight to you! What kind of man does that?"

"One that knows he's making a mistake."

He cut his eyes at me, his pacing faltering. "You're right. This is a mistake."

Before those words could even register, Edward was heading for the window. I jumped up quickly and grabbed his arm to stop him, panicked he was about to leave. "Wait! This isn't a mistake. You going is a mistake. You, just... don't go. Don't leave me again."

He turned to me, hurt flashing in his eyes. "Swan..."

"I love you, too, okay?" I said, my heart beating wildly. "Don't run off."

His eyes narrowed. "Don't patronize me. I don't want pity, not from you. I've never wanted you to take pity on me. You were never like that-you never treated me with kid gloves like everyone else did. It was why I fell in love with you in the first place. And then..."

He trailed off, shaking his head as he looked away from me. He didn't have to finish his thought, though. I knew where he was going with it. "And then I started treating you like they did. After the fire, I thought I was helping you."

"Yeah, but you weren't," he said. "If you think I didn't suffer the consequences right along with you, you're wrong. I just had to do it silently, because, yet again, someone else expected shit out of me. My mother expected me to be a man like my father. My father expected me to go to Harvard. My coach expected me to play baseball. And then you... you expected me to just go along with your plan so that I could still live up to their expectations!"

"You didn't have to do all of that stuff," I said. "Jesus, Edward, everyone loved you. They just wanted the best for you. They would've been happy as long as you were happy."

"I know that," he spat, "but I didn't want to disappoint them. I didn't want to let anyone down... especially not you."

"You didn't."

"Yes, I did," he said. "I let us both down."

I sighed, the frustration in his voice making my chest ache. "I realize I should've given you a choice, even though I still think you'd have been dumb to confess."

"Me?" he asked incredulously. "You're the one who lied to the police. You even got Newton to lie to them. I still have no idea how the hell you managed that, but the idiot went along with it. I had half a mind to go tell them what really happened just to teach the two of you a lesson."

"But you didn't."

"Yeah, because it was bad enough on Charlie having everyone think his daughter made such a horrible mistake. God knows what would've happened had you been dragged into court for obstruction of justice."

"He always knew the truth, anyway," I said. "He had it figured out from the beginning. It was nice of you, though."

He scoffed. "It's what you do when you care about people. You try to spare them pain, even if you fail horribly."

"Don't you see that's what I did?" I asked. "It's all I've ever done."

Edward shook his head. "Is that why you tried to burn me alive from the inside out at dinner a few hours ago?"

I blanched. Oh, shit. "What?"

"Don't play innocent now, Swan. Hot sauce in the ketchup? That's a classic childish prank."

Despite the fact that I should've been worried he knew, I was oddly defensive at his words. "Childish, Edward? I thought it was kinda genius."

"It was absurd."

"Whatever. I was trying to help you."

"Help me?" he asked incredulously. "I'm going to be shitting fire for the next week. How is that helping me?"

He was upset, it was obvious, but something about his words set me off. It wasn't Dr. Edward Cullen speaking now, it was just Edward... my Edward. I burst into laughter, and he glared at me angrily for a moment before his expression softened. "It's not funny."

"I know," I said, still laughing. "It's horrible. I'm horrible. I'm sorry."

He sighed, resigned. "I guess I can forgive you this time."

"What about for last time? Can you ever forgive me for that?"

He shook his head. "I can't forgive you for something you're not even sorry about."

There were heavy footsteps on the stairs then, heading our way. Edward was out the window before I realized what was happening, shimmying down the tree trunk and into the darkened night. I frowned as Charlie softly knocked. What was it with these people and their timing?

"Bells? Are you awake?"

I opened the door, forcing a smile even though I was utterly confused at the moment. I had no idea what any of this meant for me and Edward, where we were going to go from here. I felt like that naive, anxious eighteen year old girl again whose boyfriend was about to go away. "Yeah, what's up?"

"I was just checking to see if you were okay."

I eyed him suspiciously. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, dinner was a disaster."

"Yeah, but that's not really my problem," I said. "I didn't cook it."

"Exactly, Bells. I know cooking was always your, uh... you know, your thing. But someone else was in charge of dinner tonight, so I just wondered..."

"Wondered what?" I asked when he didn't finish.

"Wondered if you were okay."

My brow furrowed at his sudden interest. "I'm fine."

"Well, that's good," he said. He was fidgeting, the sight of his nervousness making me anxious. My pulse quickened, a weird feeling settling in the pit of my stomach. Charlie was up to something.

"Did you need something else?" I asked when he just stood there in the doorway.

He shook his head. "I thought maybe we could spend some time together and watch something on TV."

"Watch what?"

He shrugged. "A movie."

"You don't have cable anymore," I said. "Remember?"

"We could rent one."

"From where? They don't rent out VHS tapes anymore, and you don't have a DVD player."

He looked stunned. "Why don't they rent out tapes?"

I laughed at his expression. He looked as if I'd just told him an asteroid was going to hit earth. "Because this is the 21st century, and you're the only person still resisting technology. We have CDs and DVDs and Smartphones and wifi now."

He started grumbling to himself, shaking his head. "I don't see why they have to constantly keep upgrading. If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

"That seems to be the mentality these days. Out with the old, in with the new." I frowned. "It sucks to be on the old side of it, discarded for something fresh. But just because it's older and has been around for a while doesn't mean it doesn't work anymore, or that it's not worth keeping. Right? It can still be perfectly good. Trading it in is wrong. Upgrading is wrong. It's a mistake, because there will always be something newer, and newer doesn't mean better. It sucks. You shouldn't give up on the one you love."

Charlie stared at me. "Does this mean I should keep my VCR?"

I sighed. What's gotten into me? I'd said way too much. "It means you should do whatever makes you happy, no matter what anyone else thinks."

He smiled. "I'm glad to hear you say that, Bells."

Charlie and I did end up watching a movie-an old Jackie Chan flick he happened to have laying around- before heading off to bed. And I was surprised to find him sitting in the kitchen the next morning, wearing jeans and a flannel shirt as he read his morning paper. He said he had the afternoon off and wanted to spend some time together.

I literally pinched myself, figuring I had to be dreaming.

Since I had work I needed to get done before Angela fired me for my incompetence, I dragged Charlie along with me to Sammy's Steakhouse. He didn't put up much of a fight, considering he was getting a free meal out of the deal, and I found his company was exactly what I needed. Not only was it nice spending time with my dad, but it distracted me from dwelling on my situation.

It was Monday, which meant in five short days, Edward was supposed to marry Tanya Denali.

As I sat there, poking at a plate of spaghetti and meatballs, a flurry of activity was happening at the Cullen's house. Finalizing the cake and flowers, altering dresses, picking shoes, making seating charts, going through RSVPs, scheduling the preacher, setting up the church, planning the reception, finding somewhere for the rehearsal dinner, deciding on the bachelor party... they had a mere few days to get all of it nailed down, and I wanted nothing to do with it. I didn't even want it to happen.

It seemed I was out of luck, though. Edward had said I was the luckiest person he knew, but that was the furthest thing from the truth. No matter what I did, I couldn't seem to win.

"Hold the fucking phone, Tyrone. He said what?"

I laughed at Jake as I sat down on the back step of Charlie's house, stretching my legs out in front of me. As much as I was enjoying spending time with my father, having him there every second was a bit stifling. I needed to talk to Jake about everything that had gone on, but Charlie hadn't given me any alone time all day. I wasn't positive, but I was beginning to think it was intentional. Couldn't say I blamed him, though, as he had obviously figured out I had a hand in yesterday's fiasco.

"He said he still loved me. Or at least that he thought he did," I replied. "But then he said it was a mistake because he's getting married in a few days, so he tried to leave."

"You stopped him, right? You told him you loved him?"

"Yeah, but I don't think he believed me. He got upset about me patronizing him and then Charlie interrupted, so he bolted."

"Have you talked to him today?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I haven't seen him."

Jake sighed dramatically. "Why the hell haven't you hunted him down? That man has no business getting married knowing he's in love with you."

"He has no business getting married, period," I replied. "That fiancee of his is a lunatic."

"Yeah, well, be prepared for her to get worse," Jake said. "You're getting down to the wire, so she's going to be on the defense until that man says 'I do'. Especially since he told her everything that happened between the two of you."

"I know. Hence the reason I haven't hunted Edward down. I'm avoiding her like the bubonic plague."

"You can't do that, Bella," he said. "You need to immerse yourself in it. Don't give that hussy a moment alone with him so she can't try to work her magic. Because rest assured, that bitch has got some magic, so stay on their asses like the Human Centipede."

I cringed. "Gross."

"Hey, it might not be pleasant, but it'll be worth it," he said. "Trust me, honey. Have I ever steered you wrong?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Every single time you try to stuff me in a dress and high heels."

He laughed. "I do that for your own good. You don't know the first thing about fashion."

"I know wearing clothes shouldn't be painful."

"Ah, that's where you're wrong," he said. "Everything good in life hurts in one way or another. New shoes, tattoos, waxing, cock piercings, nipple clamps, hot wax, spankings, anal sex, nine-inchers, deep tissue massage, love... sometimes it all hurts, Jezebella, but it's worth the pain."

"That was way too much information, Jake. I don't even want to know how you know about half of them."

He laughed. "You need to live a little, honey. The only one I haven't experienced is the last one, and I envy you that. Love is the greatest pain anyone can have, and it's worth fighting for. That's why I don't want to see you give up. I have faith for you. I want to be able to live vicariously through you for once. I want you to be happy."

I was taken aback by the seriousness in his voice and had no idea how to respond, so I just said the first thing that popped in my head. 'Seriously, Jake. You're pierced down there?"

His laughter carried through the line, so genuine and hearty that I managed to smile. "Stop worrying about my cock, sweetheart, and concern yourself with the one next door. In fact, why are you even still talking to me? Quit wasting time and go see him."

"I will," I replied. "I can't right now, though. I need to hit up a restaurant and get this review written for Angela before she takes my column from me and gives you even more space."

"As much as I'd love more space, I'd miss your face at work, so go get it done."

I hung up the phone and stepped back inside, calling Charlie's name. "Do you want to go to Bayside Restaurant with me for dinner?" I hollered. "It's on me, of course. I'd rather not go alone."

I headed into the living room where he was sitting in his recliner, and my footsteps faltered when I saw someone on the couch. I blinked rapidly, caught off guard, and suddenly felt very self-conscious. "Uh, hey, Edward. What are you doing here?"

He smiled softly, but it didn't reach his eyes. They were bloodshot from lack of sleep and there was a sadness in them that made me feel guilty. He should be happy, I thought. He deserved it.

"Edward was just stopping by to see you," Charlie said. "I told him to take a seat since you were on the phone with your boyfriend."

"Oh." Oh shit. "Yeah, we were, you know, talking about work."

"I'm sure you were, kiddo," Charlie said, standing up. "I need to head into work for a bit. Why don't you take Edward to your dinner tonight? I'm sure he could use a decent meal."

"I, uh... I don't know if he'd want..." I started, but Charlie didn't wait for a response. He walked out, leaving Edward and me alone.

"I didn't mean to disrupt your plans," Edward said, standing up. He ran his hand through his hair, eyeing me anxiously. "I was just planning to ask if you wanted to come run some errands with me. It's no big deal, but I could use the company."

"I'd like to," I said honestly, "but I really need to go to this restaurant and get my review written."

Edward frowned. "Ah."

We both just stood there silently, and the awkwardness began eating away at me. I sighed after a moment, unable to take it, at the same time Edward groaned.

"This is ridiculous," we said at the same time. I paused, surprised, as he continued without skipping a beat. "It's just us. We've survived a hell of a lot more than this shit."

"We have," I said. "Do you want to go with me to the restaurant? I'm sure we could squeeze in your errands, too."

He nodded. "Yeah, sure."

"Here, Bella," Charlie said, pausing in the doorway to my bedroom and holding a white envelope out to me.

I walked over and took it hesitantly, eyeing him curiously. "What is it?"

"It's your last check from the library," he explained. "Mrs. McCarty dropped it off a few minutes ago."

"Oh, thanks," I said, opening it. It was only $126, less than a week of work.

"Yeah," Charlie grumbled, strolling away.

I found a pen on my desk, quickly signing my name on the back. I told Charlie I'd be back and drove to the bank to cash it. While I was there I withdrew every penny from my savings account, my stomach churning as the teller counted out nearly two thousand dollars. I'd saved every penny possible from my job for school in the fall, and I felt sick at the fact that it would soon all be gone. There would be nothing left for college, nothing left for the future.

I was back to square one... just more in debt than I had ever imagined possible.

I put $20 in my gas tank, since the gauge in my truck was hovering on empty, and then drove to the courthouse in Port Angeles.

There was a steady flow in and out of the building, and I quietly made my way through the crowds to the clerk of the court. I waited in line, and it took about ten minutes before I made it to the front. The lady working smiled politely, and I was immediately grateful we weren't in Forks. The judgemental looks from everyone who knew my father were too much to handle, but they didn't know me here. I was just another face in the crowd, a girl that could be here for anything.

"Can I help you, dear?" she asked.

"I need to make a payment on my court-ordered restitution," I replied, pulling out the bank envelope full of cash. It felt heavy in my hand, like a burden that was too much to carry.

"And you are?"

"Isabella Marie Swan."

She punched my name into her computer, her brow furrowing as she stared at the screen. "My records show your restitution has been written off as satisfied."

"What?" I asked. "What does that mean?"

"It means all of the fines and fees have been paid. You have a zero balance."

I gaped at her. "That has to be a mistake. I haven't made a single payment yet."

She told me to hold on as she placed a call, asking someone else in another office to double check for her. She hung up her phone a moment later with a smile. "The records are correct, Miss Swan. The restitution was satisfied three days ago, as well as all court fines, in one lump sum payment of $156,329."

I stated at her with disbelief. "How?"

She shrugged. "I suppose someone you know paid it for you."

I glanced around Edward's Volvo hesitantly as he drove down the highway toward Port Angeles, the smell of perfume strong in the car. My eyes fell on the pink, flowery air freshener attached to the vent and I snickered as I pulled it off, shoving it in Edward's face. "Really? Pink flowers?"

He rolled his eyes, moving his head out of the way. "Tanya put it there. She can't stand the new car smell."

"So instead she makes it smell like Summer's Eve douche?"

He cringed, elbowing me as he tried to keep his focus on the road. "Only you would equate flowers to douche, Swan."

I shook my read, clipping the air freshener back onto the vent. "I call it like I see it, and this whole flowery, feminine-smelling, family car shit isn't you. Your Camaro used to smell like a man. Sounded like one, too."

He chuckled. "It smelled like oil and sweat. And how exactly does a man sound, Swan?"

"Rough," I replied, shrugging. "Rumbly."

"Rumbly?" he asked incredulously. "Is that how you like your men? Rumbly?"

"You know what I mean," I said, rolling my eyes. "Men shouldn't be pretty or smell like flowers."

"Where does Jake fit into that equation?" he asked, glancing over at me. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but he drives a Prius and looks like he spends more time on his hair than you. And Jesus, Swan, his teeth are so white they're blinding. What's rough about that?"

"Jake doesn't count," I replied. "He's an exception."

"But I can't be?"

"No," I said, "because that's not who you are."

"You keep saying that, but people grow up. I've grown up. You're not exactly the same little fearful girl I dated when I was eighteen, you know. You're confident and determined and successful and sexy."

I blinked rapidly when what he had said sunk in. "You think I'm sexy?"

He tensed a bit when I asked, his eyes darting to me briefly before he focused back on the road. He didn't say anything for a moment, and I realized that he hadn't meant to say the last one out loud. "You are," he replied finally.

I smiled, turning to gaze out the side window as we reached the city limits of Port Angeles. Sexy. He'd never called me that before.

He drove through town in silence, pulling up in front of Bayside Restaurant. We were seated right away and I scanned the menu, my brow furrowing when I saw the familiar items. Crab cakes, fish and chips, Nantucket prawns, shrimp salad...

"So this is where she got the food," Edward said, speaking the words the same time they crossed my mind.

I dropped the menu and stared at him with shock. "You know she didn't cook it?"

He glanced at me as he closed his menu and rolled his eyes. "Of course I do, Swan. Do I look like an idiot?"

"Well..."

He picked up a napkin and tossed it at me across the table as I laughed. "You think you're funny."

"I am," I replied. "But seriously, what tipped you off?"

"The prawns," he replied. "Tanya doesn't know what a prawn is, much less know how to cook one. I mentioned I'd bought prawns for our first date at my place and she thought I was talking about porn."

I laughed. "I bet that was awkward."

"Yeah," he said. "I just wanted to eat, so imagine my surprise when she showed up wearing nothing but a trench coat."

I closed my eyes, fighting back the disturbing mental image, and he sighed. "I shouldn't-"

"Jake's pierced," I blurted out, the words flying from my lips before I could even make sense of what I was saying. Edward froze, staring at me from across the table, and I felt my cheeks go red instantaneously. It was horrible and a stupid thing to say, but I was defensive and reacted without thinking.

"That's, uh... weird," he said, looking back at his menu. "Is he really?"

"Yes." At least, I assumed he was from our conversation. I cringed when I recalled it, not wanting to think about Jake naked, either.

"So you and him have...?" he trailed off, shaking his head. "Nevermind, I don't want to know. Let's talk about something else."

"Good idea," I mumbled, motioning for the waitress. As usual, I earned some weird looks when I asked for more than one meal, but the waitress didn't comment on the fact that I was planning to eat so much.

Edward and I chit-chatted as we waited, skirting around serious topics. It only took about fifteen minutes for our food to arrive.

"Pass me the ketchup, Swan," Edward said, glancing from his crab cakes to me. "Sans hot sauce, please. I'd like to actually enjoy them this time."

I refrained from laughing as I handed him the ketchup bottle, and the two of us started in on our food. I found it to be quite good when I factored out the insinuation that Tanya was supposed to have made it, and Edward chuckled, obviously knowing as much. "You're humming to your food again."

I rolled my eyes. "How's yours?"

He shrugged. "Pretty good. I've had better crab cakes."

"Really?" I asked, reaching over with my fork and stabbing a piece of his crab cake. I ate it, surprised by how good it was. "Where have you had better?"

"My house," he replied. "Or I guess it's my parents house now. I haven't lived there for a long time."

I rolled my eyes. "Edward, we already established these are the same ones you had there yesterday."

His brow furrowed. "I wasn't referring to those. I'm talking about the ones you made me for my seventeenth birthday."

I looked at him with shock. It had been my first time cooking them, and I had made them from scratch with fresh crab. It ended up being an all day endeavor, but I'd been proud of the final product. "You remember those?"

"Of course," he said. "I told you that day you should write your own cookbook."

I smiled. "You made me want to. I went home that night and made a list of my favorite recipes."

"You should do it now," he said. "I know you're more into critiquing food lately than cooking it, but it's never too late to pick it back up."

"I still like to cook," I said. "I just have no reason to do it anymore."

Kinda like sex, I thought bitterly.

"There's always a reason," he retorted. "If you like it, do it."

"Are you going follow your own advice?" I asked. "Music makes you happy. You should pick it back up."

He shrugged. "Maybe I will."

The rest of the meal was relaxed, and I was stuffed by the time our check came. Edward tried to take it but I refused, handing the waitress my American Express card.

"I get reimbursed by the newspaper, remember?" I said. "Besides, I owe you."

He shook his head but refrained from arguing. I knew he didn't agree, but it was true. I would owe him forever.

"So I know you have a review to write, but do you think you have time to stop somewhere with me?"

I shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant, but the truth was I didn't want our time to end yet. "Sure."

I burst through the front door of the Cullen's house, nearly colliding with Carlisle on the stairs as I stormed straight up to Edward's bedroom. I was shaking, my emotions all over the place. I wasn't sure whether to be happy or sad, grateful or annoyed. Frankly, all I felt deep down inside was sick.

"You paid my fines?" I asked, still in disbelief. Edward was sitting at his desk and slowly turned to look at me, not seeming surprised at all by my hasty entrance.

"No," he said.

"Please don't lie to me."

He frowned. "Yes."

"Why?" I asked. "The fines were outrageous and you paid them all? How can you afford that?"

"My trust fund," he admitted.

"You wiped out your trust fund because of this?"

"It barely put a dent in it," he said. He was lying again, I could tell based on the way he turned away from me as he said it. "Besides it's just money."

"Just money?" I asked incredulously. "It's a lot of money. It's going to take me forever to pay you back."

"I don't want you to pay me back," he said. "You didn't have the money, I did. It's as simple as that."

"There's nothing simple about it," I said. "I'd rather owe them than you, Edward."

He glanced at me, a hurt expression flashing across his face. "Is my money not good enough for you?"

"No," I said. "I mean, yes... that's not what I'm saying."

"What are you saying, Swan?"

"I'm saying I didn't need you to do this," I said, feeling like a charity case. I'd survived for eighteen years, practically raising myself, and suddenly I seemed both inadequate and incompetent. It was that, coupled with my insecurities and fears, that fueled the next words that came from my mouth. "I don't need you to take care of me, Edward."

Soft jazz played from the speakers of the small store, the dim lighting making everything emit a strange, warm glow. I looked around tentatively, feeling completely out of place.

Edward strolled over to one of the massive, glass display cases and the sales lady approached him. "Can I help you?"

"I'm here to pick up a ring," he said. "Cullen."

The lady nodded and reached inside a case, pulling out a small, velvet box and handing it to him.

"What do you think, Swan?" Edward asked, holding up a gold ring. I walked over, eyeing it peculiarly.

"Is that a real diamond?" I asked, stunned by the size of the square cut stone.

"Yes."

"Jesus," I muttered. "It's huge."

He chuckled. "So you like it?"

"It's nice," I replied. "I, uh... I like it."

She smiled brightly. "Excellent. Would you like to try it on?"

I just stood there, realizing she was talking to me. "Oh, God no. I mean, it's not for me. He's not... mine."

"Oh," she said, looking genuinely surprised as she glanced back at Edward. "Well, okay. I'll get your pick-up receipt for the ring, Mr. Cullen."

Edward snickered when she walked away, elbowing me playfully. "You could've tried it on, Swan."

I rolled my eyes. "No, thanks."

She returned with his paperwork and he signed for the ring, having already paid for it. I snuck a glance at the receipt as the lady handed it to him, my eyes widening in shock. "Holy shit, Edward. Six thousand dollars for a ring?"

"Uh, yeah."

I shook my head. "That's crazy. You're nuts."

"It's just money," he replied, shrugging.

"You always say that," I muttered as we started out of the store.

"It's true," he said. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you, but money can't buy you happiness."

"No, but it seems it can buy you love," I grumbled as we got back into his car.

"What do you mean by that?"

I shrugged. "I'm just saying, you know... it certainly didn't hurt in your case."

"Are you insinuating Tanya's marrying me for my money?" he asked.

"Uh, maybe," I said hesitantly. "Have you considered that? I mean, you haven't known her very long, so who's to say she's who she says she is?"

My heart nearly stalled as Edward stared at me expressionless. I couldn't tell what he was thinking as those words hung between us.

"Can you do me a favor?" he asked after a moment, holding the ring box out to me. "Can you hold on to it for me? I don't want to lose it."

I took it, frowning. "Yeah, sure."

Neither of us spoke on the ride back to Forks, both of us lost in thought. I had no idea what was on his mind but a small part of me was afraid to find out.

When we reached the Cullen's house, I opened the car door to get out, but Edward grabbed my arm to stop me. "You know you'll always have me, right?"

I sighed. "Will I?"

"Yes," he replied. "Look, I know everything seems messed up right now, but this doesn't change things between us. I'll always be here for you... regardless of what I might've said in the past."

"You don't need me?" Edward asked incredulously.

"I don't," I said. "I mean, I want you, but I've always done fine on my own. Everyone leaves me... my mother left, my father's never around, soon you'll be gone... and it'll be okay. I'll be okay. I don't need you to take care of me, Edward. I can take care of myself."

He glared at me, a fire in his eyes I'd never seen before. "Then leave."

I blinked a few times, his cold tone catching me off guard. "What?"

"I won't let you include me in that list of people who abandon you. You can be the one to leave this time."

"But-"

"You heard me, Swan. Get out. You're so convinced I'm going to walk away from you and you have to be alone that maybe we should just drop this relationship charade and get it over with."

The black velvet ring box sat on the corner of the desk, taunting me. I tried to avoid looking at it as I scribbled my latest review out on a piece of notebook paper, but my eyes were drawn to it every few minutes.

After a while I picked it up, unable to stand it, and pulled the ring out of the box. Logic washed away as I stared at it, a lifetime of repressed dreams rushing through me. Laying down in bed, I slipped the gold band onto my left ring finger.

The diamond shimmered as the sunlight from the window hit it, and I smiled. I was never one for jewelry, but it looked good on my hand. It felt right, like it belonged there.

I lay there and stared at it as tears flooded my eyes. He loved me, but it didn't matter. It didn't change anything. In a few days, the ring would be on her finger.