AN: Thank you to ShearEnvy for being the best beta a bitch could ask for, and thanks to BEQ for the writing sessions, and thanks to all of you for all of your love and support (even if the story infuriates you). There is one more chapter and an epilogue after this... they'll both hopefully be posted by the end of this week.

Chapter 20: Chaos

"Anything you build on a large scale or with intense passion invites chaos." - Francis Ford Coppola

Jake and I had used to play a game in Seattle called 'Find That Movie'. We'd take turns dropping clues, and the other person would have to bring over the movie we guessed they were talking about. We'd gorge on junk food and watch the film, wasting many mindless hours on the couch in front of the TV together.

Once, Jake's clue was "most awkward dinner scene ever". Without even thinking, I'd grabbed Eddie Murphy's 'Nutty Professor' and headed straight to his place.

"What is this shit?" Jake asked when I handed him the DVD.

"It's the movie you wanted," I said, confused as I plopped down on his couch. "No dinner scene is as awkward as the one where they start farting at the table."

He rolled his eyes. "I swear you're a twelve-year-old boy deep down inside. You've got about as much boobs as one, too."

Before I could get comfortable, or even come up with a comeback for that, Jake dragged me out to his car and the two of us went straight to the closest Blockbuster. He returned my movie, declaring it 'shit', and instead grabbed a copy of Ben Stiller's 'Meet the Parents'.

"There's no way the dinner scene in that is worse," I said, pouting on the way back to his place. Jackass. I'd been so sure I was right. "I mean, come on… grandma starts talking about Mike Douglas making her moist… at dinner! What's worse than that?"

"Three words for you: milking a cat," Jake said, holding up his DVD as to make his point. "Trust me, Bella. Even reality doesn't get any worse than this."

I begrudgingly watched the movie, and although it was close, I refused to concede. An argument ensued, one that lasted for quite some time. Jake wouldn't talk to me for damn near a week afterward.

It was our first fight, as ridiculous as it was, and as I sat at the Cullen's dining room table beside my stubborn friend, attempting to distract myself from the situation at hand, our words that evening replayed in my mind.

I leaned closer to Jake and whispered, "We were both wrong, you know."

He cut his eyes to me. "Wrong about what?" he mumbled, gnawing on a bite of steak.

"We fought over the most awkward dinner scene ever," I said. "We were both wrong, because I'm pretty sure this one takes the cake."

He smiled. "This one isn't so bad."

"Not so bad?" I asked incredulously. "How could this possibly get worse?"

He shrugged. "You never know. I could break out into song mid-meal."

I laughed, louder than I meant to. The chatter around the table grew quiet as everyone glanced our way. Jake shrugged it off, though, completely unfazed, and continued to eat.

I stabbed at the food on my plate as I looked around, the atmosphere so tense I could feel it on my skin. No one looked like they wanted to be there, but no one had the courage to stand up and admit it. They awkwardly delved back into conversation, the night moving along, but I was way too uncomfortable to even consider contributing.

Tanya's parents sat to my right, eating heartedly like they hadn't seen food in weeks. They chewed loudly, clinging and clanging as they grabbed more servings and fumbled with silverware. Tanya and Edward sat across from us, neither one appearing pleased that they had to be there. Edward looked like he wanted to run away, his eyes continually darting to the doorway, while Tanya's eyes were shooting daggers through me. The looks made my blood boil and I wanted to fling my food at her to get her to stop.

The others were gathered around, attempting to lighten the mood. Esme was hospitable but seemed to be perplexed as she gawked at her son, while Carlisle was as calm and collected as usual. Jasper, Emmett and Kate were off to the side, none of them daring to get involved in any of it. Everyone had been as shocked as I was when Tanya's parents showed up, no one knowing exactly what to say about it all.

Jake seemed proud of what he'd done, though, as a cocky smirk continually tugged his lips. And me? I was damn near drunk and starting not to feel anything anymore.

Except for Tanya's angry stares, of course… those I couldn't seem to escape.

"You have such a darling home," Irina said, taking a sip of red wine as she looked around. "And this table is so big! I've never seen one that could sit so many people. And there are even cloth napkins - it's all so fancy!"

Jake snorted and attempted to contain himself, while Tanya's glares just grew more hostile.

I grabbed my glass of wine and downed the last drop before wordlessly reaching for the fresh bottle that Carlisle had just uncorked. My hand shook as I poured some into my glass before setting the bottle back down on the table right in front of me. I had a feeling I'd need more of it soon.

I took a drink as they continued to talk, the incessant chatter running in one of my ears and out the other. My brain was refusing to let any of their conversation sink in. It had digested enough words for one day.

Blah, blah, blah. A bunch of wedding bullshit.

Blah, blah, blah. They were all full of themselves.

Blah, blah, blah. No one meant a word of what they were saying.

Blah, blah, blah. I couldn't take much more of it.

I went to take another drink, frustrated, and was baffled to find my glass already empty. I nudged Jake with my elbow, knocking his fork from his hand. "Did you steal my drink?"

He looked amused. "No, you drank it."

"When?"

"A second ago. Downed it all in one swallow, glutton."

I narrowed my eyes at him. That didn't sound right. Fucking wine thief. My head was foggy and nothing seemed to connect. After a moment I reached for the bottle and poured myself another glass, this time filling it to the rim. I spilled some onto the table and shrugged, sitting the bottle back down once again.

I drank. I ignored them. I drank some more. I ignored them some more. The cycle continued again and again. Lather, rinse, repeat. I felt like I was stuck in a spin cycle with no way to stop the damn machine. Round and round, up and down… I was starting to get dizzy from the impact of it all.

Tanya. Pregnant. Stewing on it certainly wasn't helping me.

I took another drink later and choked when someone said my name. I started coughing and Jake pounded on my back forcefully, knocking my glass out of my hand. The few drops of drink left in it spilled onto the tablecloth, and I stared at the fresh red stain, mourning the loss of my wine.

Someone said my name again and I looked up, blanching when I saw everyone's eyes were on me. Shit. "Huh?"

"We were just talking about your job, sweetheart," Esme said. "I was telling Tanya's parents that you were a famous food critic."

"Oh. I, uh…" I looked from Esme to the others, unsure of what to say. Irina looked genuinely interested, while Laurent had already turned back to his food. He hadn't said much since arriving, but he oozed a sort of seriousness that intimidated me. Prison armor, Charlie always called it. "Uh, I'm not really famous."

"Don't be modest," Esme continued, forcing a smile. "Everyone around these parts knows exactly who you are."

"Yeah, uh, I don't really think they know me from my column, though," I muttered. Out of all the topics in the world, why'd we have to talk about me? "They know me more from—"

"Getting arrested at eighteen?" Tanya chimed in, cutting me off. "I bet that is pretty unforgettable, seeing as how your dad is the Chief of Police. Scandalous."

I gaped at her and waited for Edward to speak up, but he remained silent and continued to study the nearest exit, like he was waiting for the place to burst into flames and to have to run for safety.

"I don't think what I did when I was eighteen has anything to do with this," I said defensively. "And really, I don't think you can judge anyway, since you—"

I was cut off again, but this time from Jake. He kicked me under the table before I could finish my words. I grimaced and glared at him, but I had nothing to say. He was fucking lucky I already forgot what we were talking about.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Anyway, I just want to say it's wonderful having you guys here. Tanya said you were too busy to make it, so I worried we wouldn't get a chance to meet before our kids got married."

"Busy?" Irina said, laughing. "Nothing is more important than my little girl's wedding. I always dreamed about this day, you know. The day my little princess was swept off her feet by her dashing prince."

Pouring more wine, I rolled my eyes. Trapped him, I thought. Tricked him.

"Nothing means more to us than Edward's happiness," Carlisle said.

"Yes, and if Tanya is who makes him happy, we're elated to have Tanya joining the family," Esme added.

I refrained from gagging and went to take another drink, yet again finding my glass empty. I looked around. What the hell?

I reached for the bottle, but found only a tiny bit left. I quickly poured it into my glass.

"I knew she'd find her a good man," Irina continued, beaming at her daughter. The look on her face, although annoying, struck something deep inside of me that made my gut twist. There was love in her eyes, devotion for her daughter. It was the look of a mother who was truly proud.

It was a look I had always yearned for but never received, as my own mother seemed to only be able to view me with contempt.

There was a timid knock on the front door, so faint I barely heard it where I was standing in the kitchen. I was elbow deep in soapy, hot water, furiously scrubbing a lasagna pan as I tried to distract myself.

"I'll get it," Charlie grumbled from the living room. It was the most he'd said to me in days. It had been nearly a week since the doctor's visit, when Carlisle had broken the news that I wasn't pregnant. My period had finally come, exceedingly late and as dreadful as ever.

I was chalking it all up to stress, too depressed to think about the fact that I might've actually been pregnant. I was also chalking Edward's behavior up to stress, too hurt to consider he was actually done with me for real.

I hadn't heard from him since he had stormed out of the office, leaving me there all alone. Carlisle had taken me home, not saying a single word during the drive. He pulled into my driveway and I was about to get out of the car when he reached over and gently clasped my arm. "Don't go find him. Let him come to you."

I gazed at him for a moment. "But what if he doesn't?"

"He will," Carlisle said. "Just give him some time."

As I stood there, my hands wrinkled and raw from the dishes, those words ran through my mind. I heard Charlie open the door, then the sound of him speaking furiously in a low voice, and my insides seized up.

Could it be Edward?

The moment Charlie yelled my name, I was certain it was. Carlisle had been right. He'd come to me.

I dropped the sponge into the water, splashing myself with it, and wiped my hands on my shirt as I bolted for the living room. My heart was beating rapidly, being ripped apart from both excitement and anxiety battling for control. I took a deep breath as I turned the corner, and was about to call his name, when I looked up and stopped dead in my tracks.

Something inside of me snapped.

People always say that – I had even said it in the past – and I took it to mean figuratively. I thought they were just fed up and couldn't take anymore. But no… it really happened. Something inside of me literally let loose.

I could feel it, a taut sensation in my muscles before the last sliver of thread that held me together vanished. There was an intense rush of adrenaline, a surge of sickness and anger. My stomach lurched as my chest constricted, and the emotion just came surging out of me.

I wasn't sure what had caused it, what the final straw was. Maybe it was Carlisle and Esme's words about only wanting Edward to be happy. Wasn't that what I wanted? Wasn't that what I cared about, too?

Maybe it was Irina's pride, and the obvious way that she loved her daughter.

Maybe it was Laurent's aloofness, reminding me of the fact that my own father was nowhere to be found.

Maybe it was the smile on Tanya's face, and the way she leaned over and softly kissed Edward on the lips.

Hell, maybe it was simply because he wouldn't even look at me.

Or maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that we were now completely out of wine.

I clutched the empty bottle tightly, holding it upside down above my glass, and furiously shook it as tears flooded my eyes. I didn't have the strength or ability to hold them back, and they streamed down my cheeks, smearing my mascara.

"Bella," I heard Jake say, his voice distorted. Foggy, fuzzy… I was drifting under water. "Calm down, boo."

I shook the bottle harder, trying to ignore him and rein in my emotions. Stray drops of red wine splattered all around Esme's white tablecloth.

"Swan?" Edward said, taking notice. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" I shouted, throwing the bottle down. It slammed against my plate, knocking over my empty wine glass and only infuriating me further. I groaned loudly, shoving my chair back as I stood up. "What's wrong is somebody drank all the damn wine! It's all gone! All of it! There's nothing left for me!"

The room grew eerily quiet at my outburst, everyone stopping what they were doing to turn and look at me.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Esme asked, sounding genuinely concerned as she stood up. She reached out to me, about to clutch my arm, but I pulled away before she could.

"Do I look okay?" I asked. "The wine is gone. I need it, and it's gone. I'm too late. I wanted it – I've always wanted it – and now I can't have it! I came here for it, and I lost my chance! I can't have the fucking wine! It's gone!"

Carlisle stood up swiftly, poised for action. "There's more wine in the kitchen."

"More wine in the kitchen? Of course there is! More wine in the kitchen, more fish in the sea, the grass is greener, and I can't fucking win! I can't! No matter what I do! I don't want that damn wine, I want this one. There has never been another for me, and no one cares. No one." I paused to take a breath, my chest burning as I started crying harder. My eyes darted to Edward, who was finally looking at me again. Seeing his pitiful expression was too much to take. I had to look away. "He doesn't care."

I hurried away from the table, barely making it to the doorway when Edward and Jake jumped up from their chairs. I ran from the house, everyone following me as I burst through the front door and into the yard. There was a chill in the air, the sun having set, and it immediately cooled my feverish skin. A few stray raindrops splattered on me as thunder rumbled in the distance, the threatening growl warning of an impending storm.

I took a deep breath, the oxygen scorching my panicked lungs. I was on fire, falling to pieces right where I stood.

"Swan, wait," Edward called, running after me. "Just… wait a damn minute."

I turned around at the sound of his voice, standing on the property line between our houses. "Wait? You want me to wait? I have waited, Edward! I always waited! I waited for you to notice me, to love me. I waited for you to want me like I wanted you. I waited and waited and waited, but I can't fucking wait anymore! I waited for you, but you never came for me!"

The person standing in front of me was definitely not Edward.

I took a step back instantly, confusion and desperation urging me to flee, but the sound of her voice glued me to the spot. "Hello, Isabella."

I opened my mouth again, feeling sick. I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout. I wanted to tell her to go the hell away. But all I could do was whisper a simple word, a word that nipped at me like a ferocious little beast.

"Mom."

My mother took a step forward, her movement spurring me to take a step back. She hesitated when she saw me retreating. "I thought we could talk."

"About what?" I asked, my voice hard and firm despite the fact that I could feel my body trembling weakly. I did my best to hold my emotion in, not wanting her to see it. She didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve my tears.

"About life," she said. "It's been a long time, and I know you've been through some things lately so I—"

"You know?" I asked, staring at her incredulously as I cut her off. "You don't know anything about my life."

"Well, your father told me—"

"He told you?" I asked, crushed that he would betray me that way. I turned to Charlie, waiting for him to refute her statement, but he remained silent, avoiding my gaze. "I can't believe you! You told her? You talked to her about me?"

"Don't be mad at your father," she said, speaking for him because he clearly had no intention of speaking himself. "I'm your mother. I had the right to know, Isabella."

"No, you don't," I spat. "You lost your right! You were never there for me when I needed you. Where were you when I needed to know about boys, and sex, and periods? You were nowhere to be found, so you have no right to come around when things go wrong and try to act like you care, because you don't! If you did, you would've been here before!"

"I was sick," she said matter-of-factly.

"You were sick?" I scoffed. "What, are you suddenly better?"

"I stopped drinking."

"How long ago?" I asked. "How long have you been sober?"

She hesitated, and I knew at once she was full of shit. "I had a slip up last week, but it wasn't bad…"

I laughed dryly. "Last week? So you haven't had a drink in, what, seven days? And suddenly you feel like you've earned the right to come back here? You've earned the right to pick back up where you left off?"

"No, but I thought we could start over," she said. "We could build a relationship."

"You want to build a relationship with me?" I asked. "Then come back when you've been clean for a year. Come back when you can prove to me you've changed. Because otherwise, I want nothing to do with you. Nothing."

Edward seemed taken aback by my outburst and remained silent for a moment, blinking a few times. The lack of response was just fuel to the fire burning deep inside of me, sparking and igniting it, until I couldn't contain it anymore. It burst forth, exploding out of me.

"I can't do this, Edward," I said. "I can't be here, seeing you like this. Seeing you with her. These boat shoes and button-up shirts, the church wedding, the trophy wife… I don't get it. Who are you? Where the hell did you come from? You're not the man I know."

He sighed, running his hand through his hair anxiously. "Just calm down, okay?"

"No!" I shouted. "I can't calm down. I don't recognize you like this. I don't recognize you with her. I thought it was all an act, that this whole thing was a sham, but I was clearly wrong. I guess last night was the act. I guess being with me was the sham."

He took a quick step toward me. "Bella, please."

Bella. Instead of the usual fluttering the sound of my name on his lips caused, all I felt was anger. How dare he speak my name in that tone, looking like a complete stranger.

"Don't try to manipulate me, Edward."

"I'm not."

"You are! You did it last night and you're doing it again!"

Edward grabbed my arm, appearing panicked, and tried to pull me out of earshot from his family. "Let's get out of the rain. We can go somewhere and talk."

I resisted, yanking away from him. "Why don't you just go back to your little fiancée, and go have your perfect life, with your doctorate, and your wife, and your baby."

He flinched like he'd been slapped. "What?"

"Yes, I know," I spat. "I'm not stupid. I know she's pregnant. I heard her talking about it. She's having your baby!"

The color drained from Edward's face. "Bella…"

"Don't call me that!" I said. "Go back to your happy little family. It's what you want, right? It's what you always wanted. You never wanted me. You just wanted the fairy tale. Just having me was never enough. I'm not enough."

"Why are you being like this?" he asked, his voice practically a growl. "You're the one that didn't want those things. You're the one who didn't want me, not the other way around!"

"I did not! I wanted you, and you left me! You just walked away. I waited, and you never came back!"

"I didn't walk away," he said. "You pushed me away. How many times do we have to go through this? It's all you've ever done, Swan. You pull me close, and then push me away again. How the hell was I supposed to know you wanted me? How the hell was I supposed to know you wanted this? You never told me! You never once said it!"

"You should've known!"

"How?"

"Because you were supposed to know me," I cried. "I thought you knew me. Out of everyone, you were supposed to be the one person I could count on, and you abandoned me just like everyone else did."

Edward glared at me like he had something to say, but looked away after a second without speaking. His eyes darted past me, his expression shifting instantly from rage to shock.

In the chaos of the argument, I hadn't even noticed the car pulling up in Charlie's yard behind me.

"Bella?" Charlie said. "Edward? What's going on?"

I swung around, nearly losing my balance, and the air left my lungs when I saw my father standing there. Beside him stood a woman, the one Edward and I had seen from a distance earlier in the week. She was closer to me this time… close enough that I could make out her face. She looked significantly different, time taking its toll, but her eyes were exactly the same as they'd been a decade ago when I last saw her in the living room of Charlie's house.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I muttered, running my hands down my face. Was I dreaming? "This is a nightmare."

"Isabella," my mother said, taking a tentative step toward me. "Have you been drinking? You're slurring."

"Have I been drinking?" I let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, maybe I have. Why the hell do you care?"

"I've always cared."

I took a step back, my heart pounding fiercely. Why was she there? What the hell did she want? I turned to my father, my anger only growing. "You brought her here? You're seeing her? You're talking to her again?"

"I wanted to talk to you about that," Charlie said. "I tried to talk to you this morning."

The tears started flooding my eyes again, blurring my vision. They streamed down my cheek, but were concealed by the rain that was steadily falling on us now. Everything was spinning out of control, the ground moving beneath my feet.

"Bella," Jake said, tentatively approaching. "I think you need to take a deep breath, honey. This is all getting a little crazy, and you're starting to look like the head schizo in the mental ward. No stuffing chickens under your bed, Daisy. Let's deal with our issues like adults."

He tried to put his arm around me, but I pushed away from him. "Me? You think I'm crazy? This is your fault! You're the reason I'm here! If you hadn't meddled, none of this would be happening!"

"Don't be ridiculous," he said calmly. "You don't mean that."

"I do," I yelled. "I don't know why I listened to you in the first place, why I took any of your advice. You don't know what the hell you're talking about! If you did, you wouldn't be like you are!"

Jake stood stone still, his expression guarded. "I wouldn't be like I am?"

"Yes," I said. "What right do you have dishing out love advice, telling people what to do, when you live the most fucked up life out of everyone I know? You call me a schizo when there's clearly something wrong with your head. Truth be Told, my ass. You're such a coward you can't handle the truth about yourself! You fuck around like there's no tomorrow, a different guy every night! I should've known better than to trust you. I should've known you didn't know what the hell you were talking about. You know nothing about love. You don't love anyone but yourself! Instead of telling me to be an adult, why don't you grow the hell up? Get your own life and stop screwing with mine!"

The words were just flying out of my mouth in the haze, breaking through the filter that should've held them back. Jake went from guarded to furious in a matter of seconds, and he didn't even bother to respond. He pushed past me, reaching into his pockets for his keys as he headed for his car. The adrenaline in me spiked, squelching my irrational anger, and I had a brief moment of clarity when he turned his back to me.

Oh, shit. What the hell have I done? "Jake…"

I waited for him to stop. I waited for him to turn around. Instead, he just flipped me the middle finger and kept on going.

"Edward!" I heard Tanya yell behind me. I nearly forgot all about them standing there. I swung around, panicked, and watched as Edward climbed into the driver's seat of his Volvo. "Don't go! Wait!"

"I need to think," he said, ignoring his fiancée as she tried to stop him. "I'll be back."

He started the car up quickly and pulled out of the driveway, heading west down the street. I followed his car with my eyes as Jake pulled away from the curb, gunning the engine and heading east. My heart pounded rapidly as I started to panic… they'd both left me. I'd driven them both away.

And that was when any shred of common sense I had left completely disappeared.

I bolted for Charlie's house, feeling around in my pockets for my car keys, and started yelling at my father to move his vehicle out of the way. He refused, saying I was in no condition to drive, but his words were lost on me. Instead of calming down, instead of taking note, all it did was push me further over the edge.

Before he knew what I was doing, I'd grabbed his keys from his hand and was in the driver's seat of the Fork's police cruiser. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and I was one desperate bitch.

"Isabella Swan, don't you dare!" Charlie screamed. "Get out of the car!"

I stuck the key in the ignition and turned it, starting the cruiser up. I threw it in reverse before he could stop me, and started backing away. I planned to just move it, to get it out of my way, but once I was out on the street, I didn't think anymore. I had to go to him. I had to talk to him. I had to explain myself and why I'd said what I said. He needed to understand. I needed him to understand.

I couldn't let him leave me like that.

Consequences be damned, I followed my heart and drove east.

"You were awfully harsh, Bells," Charlie said, standing in the doorway of the kitchen behind me. He'd been there for a few minutes, silently watching as I started to scrub the lasagna pan once again. It was sparkling clean, but I wasn't yet ready to stop. Stopping meant I'd be done, and then I'd have to find something else to do… something to take my mind off of everything.

"She deserved it," I said quietly, not wanting to talk about her. I didn't want to think about her. It was the whole point of scrubbing—I didn't have to think about anything.

"Did she?" he asked.

"Yes. She abandoned me. What kind of mother does that?"

He sighed exasperatedly, strolling closer to me. "Look, I know you're upset. I should've told you first, but I thought it was a good idea to have her talk to you. I know she's made mistakes, but she's still your mother. She didn't leave you because she wanted to, Bella. She left because she had to. She left because… I told her to."

Those words caught me off guard. I stopped scrubbing and glanced at him. "You told her to?"

He nodded. "She wasn't well. I didn't want you to grow up around that. She was so great sometimes, especially with you, but she was getting worse every day. It's a sickness, Bella. She was sick… no, she's still sick. But she's trying."

"Not hard enough," I replied, turning back to the pan. "It's been years."

"Maybe so, but she wants what's best for you. She always has, and that's why she didn't fight me when I packed up her things that day when you were at school. She cried the whole time I was doing it, but she got in the car and didn't argue with me when I drove her to Port Angeles."

"Maybe she didn't fight it because she didn't care," I said.

"No, she cared."

"If that's true, why didn't she get better? Why didn't she stop drinking and come back sooner?"

"She wasn't ready, I guess," he said. "Maybe she still isn't, but she's trying. Sometimes people have to hit rock bottom before things can get better. They have to dig themselves a hole and find a way to climb out of it on their own."

"Losing her family wasn't rock bottom?" I asked. "I wasn't incentive enough?"

"I can't speak for your mother," Charlie said, "but I do know there's no set time frame on things like this. There's no statute of limitations on love, Bella. When you love someone, you wait for them. You give them all the time they need. Or, well… at least I do. I think it's only right."

The rain was coming down harder, obscuring my view of the road in the darkness. I was still sobbing, frantic and confused as I drove around Forks in circles, looking for my best friend. I didn't know where I was going - I had no idea where Jake would go.

It didn't take long before I spotted the bright red and blue lights approaching in the rearview mirror. The flashing colors made my heart rate spike to the point that I grew dizzy. My vision blurred, and I slammed on the gas, desperate to get away.

I hit an intersection and tried to turn the corner, hoping to escape, but I was going too fast when I turned the wheel. The car skidded on the wet road, and I cried out, clutching the steering wheel tightly as the cruiser went off the side of the road into the grass. The vehicle came to a stop safely, not having hit anything, and I breathed a deep sigh of relief.

I was in deep shit.

I pressed the gas once I got myself under control, but the car wouldn't move. The tires dug ruts into the soft ground, securing it firmly into spot. I got out of the cruiser, knowing there was no way for me to get it out, when the screeching police car cut me off.

Riley jumped out from the driver's seat. "Don't move, Isabella," he said, pointing a weapon at me.

I stalled in my tracks. My legs trembled, my knees nearly giving out. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit…

"I don't want to have to tase you," he said.

Taser… it was only a taser. For a brief moment, I irrationally considered trying to get away. It was senseless, though. 50,000 volts were sure to knock me on my ass.

Before I had time to react, Riley pushed me against the car. He forced my hands behind my back and I tried to pull away, panicked as he put handcuffs on me. "You can't do this, Riley. Please! Please don't do this!"

"I have to," he said. "Jesus, stop fighting before you hurt yourself."

He managed to secure them, but not tight enough, because my left hand slid right out from the restraint. I pulled away from him, frantic, but he was back on top of me before I could get away. He restrained me again, securing them so tightly that they dug into my wrists and nearly cut off my circulation.

"Please!" I pleaded. "Please, let me go! I promise I won't do it again!"

He sighed exasperatedly. "You know I can't do that. I'll take you down to the station and get someone to pick you up."

Riley wrangled me into the back of his cruiser, leaving me there as he secured Charlie's car. The stench of fresh leather, combined with my anxiety, was too much for me to take. I got sick on the floorboard and lay down on the seat, shivering violently, drenched from the rain. My head was pounding fiercely and I closed my eyes, wishing it would all go away. Wishing it was all just a nightmare.

I didn't hear Riley get into the car. I was passed out before we even made it onto the road.

"So what are you going to do?"

I was still standing at the sink, going on hour two of scrubbing the same godforsaken pan. "I have nothing to say to her."

Charlie sighed. "I wasn't talking about your mother."

"Edward's not talking to me. There isn't really anything I can do about it. I have to give him time, I guess."

"I wasn't talking about Edward, either."

"Then what?" I asked impatiently, annoyed by his questions. "What am I going to do about what?"

"Your life, Bella," he said. "What are you going to do with your life?"

His words surprised me. My life. I hadn't really given that much thought. Every time I seemed to have a plan, something came along to wreck it to pieces. I was eighteen; I had my whole life ahead of me… and I had no idea what to do with any of it. "I don't really know."

"Well, it's probably time you start thinking about it," he said. "I love having you here, Bells, but I'm pretty sure you don't want to live with your dad forever."

He strolled away, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I pulled the pan out and dried it, putting it away before finally letting the water out of the sink. I leaned against the counter, watching as the suds were sucked down the drain.

My life… it felt like it was over, that everything was ending, when really it was just the beginning for me.

First of all, I in no way, shape, or form, condone drunk driving... or grand theft auto, for that matter.

Secondly, don't kill me. I promise this doesn't end the same way as the movie. I believe in love.