((Ok… so I'm so sorry. I just wanted to play out their big argument from the eyes of a third party. I figured Sam's a good third party. Also, I'm tired of Cas being so apologetic so here's the result. Everyone in the show seems to be knocking him down hard core, but I kinda feel like his "sins" weren't all that inexcusable. Since I doubt that Cannon Cas would ever call Dean's failings into fault, I figured this one will. I hope it's not too OOC. ^^ Happy new year and as always I am so incredibly thankful for everyone who reads, favs, and most of all reviews my story. You all make my day!))

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I had forgotten. Somehow, in three years we've lost sight of Castiel's identity—he became such a fixture that we forgot just how different, how fundamentally alien he is from us.

Looking at him now, squaring off against my brother, it comes roaring back. I can see it in the sharp line of his shoulders, in the fluidity of his motions. I never understood how anyone could mistake him for human, even his simplest gestures betray the truth. Even after all of these years, there is a certain way that he carries himself, a reminder that he is only a guest in the body standing before us now.

"Dean, I do not wish to fight you," Cas says, his voice low. "But if you need to punish me for my actions then I will not stop you."

For a moment, I hope that Dean would do the adult thing, would just say that we were happy that he was alive. I prayed to whatever god might listen that Dean would stop trying to pick a fight and say the one thing that Cas needs to hear the most.

But I guess the powers that be aren't feeling particularly generous, Dean rears back and punches him. Judging by the force he put into it, anyone else would be on the floor, but Cas barely steps back. Dean blanches and caresses his bleeding knuckle, though his eyes still smolder with anger. Cas slowly raises his hand and touches his reddened cheek as though confused.

"I thought that you would know better than to physically assault me again," he replies, though his shoulders slump slightly. I don't really understand what he is talking about, but judging from Dean's petulant glare, this scene has played out at least once before.

Dean grabs Cas' shirt, and I catch Bobby's wince out of the corner of my eye. He's thinking the same as I am; this is only going to get worse. Dean won't rest until he pushes Cas hard enough to retaliate—to punish him as hard as he is already punishing himself.

"You're damned lucky I don't punch you a few more times, you bastard," Dean growled. "After all of your crap about your loyalty to me, about how you're always on my side… You betrayed me. You betrayed me in ways I can't even begin to describe."

Cas' head dips down, and for a second I'm scared that he's going to wing off to parts unknown. But his head raises and I see his body draw up to its full height. A part of me is relieved. After weeks of seeing him wan and silent with the deadened eyes of a whipped dog, any show of defiance is a welcome change.

"I was at war, Dean Winchester," Cas says slowly. "A war that I caused on your behalf. A war that I was losing. So tell me, just what was I supposed to do?"

"You could have came to me, you ass," Dean growls. "If this whole damn war was because of me then you didn't have to leave me in the dark."

"No, I didn't have to," Cas agrees and we're all thrown for a loop. I was certain that he would protest. Dean seems to share my sentiment, because his mouth opens and closes a few times without uttering a sound.

Cas sighs. "I didn't because I couldn't face you after what happened to Sam. Because I knew that I had tried and failed to bring back the one thing that you needed. Because I knew that all I would do would bring extra pain onto you. Besides…" He stops and I can almost feel himself steel himself before he continues. "When I finally did come to you and Sam, you fought me at every turn. I asked for your help Dean Winchester, and you turned away. You had your own agenda."

"Oh, you mean piecing back the broken mess of a brother that you left me?" Dean shoots back with such vehemence that I'm certain Cas has hit a nerve. Dean's pride is stinging and he is craving more. "Besides, you were already butt-buddies with Crowley long before you bothered to as my help. You are an Angel! You should have known better than to go along with anything a demon suggests!"

"I was only following your example," Cas retorts, his voice betraying the first hints of his anger. "You have worked with Crowley on multiple occasions. In fact, he was the first ally you called when you rose against me."

"He was our last resort," Dean says, but even I can hear the defensiveness in his voice. He's on the ropes now, and I think Cas knows it.

"Of course he was," he replies, his voice calm again. "He knows just how to pull us in Dean, to find us at our most vulnerable point and offer us a way out."

"Look… we could have found another way. Those souls…" Dean's sentence dies in his throat and for a long moment neither of them say a word. The silence descends on the four of us, smothering the air in the room like dirt thrown on a fire. When Cas speaks again it is so low that I nearly missed it.

"It was not the offer of souls that attracted me."

"What?" Dean breathes, his eyes wide.

"It was the offer of companionship…" Cas says, slowly pulling away Dean's remaining hand from his collar. "It was the offer of being equals. Of being more than just another piece on Dean Winchester's chess board."

He is gone before anyone could reply, leaving Dean with his hand still in the air and the bite of the angel's words ringing in his ears. He got his punishment, he got the condemnation he wanted, but he may have just thrown out something far more valuable.

I glance back at Bobby, who looks grim. I wonder if the same horrible thought is running through his head. Dean wouldn't know, has no way of knowing, because he has avoided Cas for so long.

"You idiot," Bobby says, his voice sounding rough. "You damned fool. We just got him back." I keep my mouth shut. The last thing I want is be the one to break the news to Dean.

Dean starts as though he had just woken up. "What in the hell are you talking about?" He demands, turning to me. I must have reacted in some way because he zeroes in on me like a heat seeking missile. "Sam, what do you know?"

Crap.

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((Yup there we have it. Let the flames begin ^^;))