This is not the dream I dreamed - Rachel faces up to the fact that her Broadway career could be over before it had chance to begin.
Rating - T
Character - Rachel [and her fathers]
A/N - Reviews/concrit are loved, and if there's anything you'd like to see happen the let me know and I'll try my best to work it in somehow.I'm from the UK, so if anything American is not quite right, please let me know and I'll fix it.
I'd be interested to know who you think Lyla's father is . . .
"Rachel." She froze. She knew she'd bump into people she knew eventually, she just hadn't expected it would be so soon, she defiantly hadn't expected it to happen the first time she left the house. "Rachel, I thought you were in New York, are you visiting your fathers?" Will asked as he caught up with Rachel.
"No" she shook her head, "I erm, I'm back for the foreseeable future, things in New York didn't really work out."
"Oh?" Will raised an eyebrow, "I thought you were destined to be on Broadway."
"So did I she said sadly, "turns out my daughter had other ideas."
Will's face dropped and he looked round half expecting the child to be with her, "you had a baby?"
"Lyla" Rachel told him, "she erm, she's almost 8 weeks old."
"Where is she now?" Will asked.
"At home with my Daddy, she was premature, she's only been home a couple of days, her immune systems not developed properly, and I didn't want to risk her catching anything, but I needed to get out for a while. Daddy asked me to go to the store."
"I hope you're okay" Will said sincerely "both of you"
"Thank you" Rachel nodded, "I erm, I should be off."
Will nodded, "if you're ever stuck for something to do, I wouldn't say no to your expertise with the Glee club" he told her, "we meet at the same time as always, and you're welcome to bring Lyla."
"Maybe when she's a bit bigger." Rachel told him, saying her goodbyes and heading to the store.
"Berry." Rachel sighed as she turned to find Puck stood behind her, and she cursed under her breath. Why didn't she just take out an advert in the local paper to announce that Rachel Berry had had a baby and become a Lima Looser. "Didn't think I'd ever see you again!"
"Yeah, well, y'know" she shrugged and turned beck to collecting the items Hiram had asked for, hoping Puck would get the hint and leave her alone. But he didn't.
"So what brings you back to Lima?" he asked, quickening his pace to keep up with her.
Rachel shrugged, "just stuff."
"Stuff?" Puck raised an eyebrow at her ineloquent choice of words. "How long you back for then?" he asked, following her down the baby aisle, raising an eyebrow as she threw some baby wipes into her basket.
Rachel shrugged again, "dunno"
"Come on Berry. We all know that you don't do things on the spur of the moment. You have things planned out, weeks, months, even years in advance. So how long are you back in Lima?"
"I don't know alright, I'm here until I leave again, it might be a month, it might be a year I might end up here for the rest of my life. Who knows?"
"Rachel Berry a Lima looser, who'd have guessed it?" Puck smirked as she left the store, "we should hook up Berry, we were good together." He called after her.
"I'll have to ask my daughter how she'd feel about it" she called over her shoulder without looking back.
"Rachel, I heard you were back." "Finn, I can't stop, I have to get these home" she gestured to the bags, sighing as Finn took the bags from her hands and walking beside her. "So. . ." he tried to break the silence, "Puck said you had a daughter now"
Rachel could kill Noah Puckerman. "Yes. Yes I have."
"Right." Finn didn't know what to say, "what's her name?"
"Lyla" Rachel said as thy came to a halt outside her house, "her name's Lyla, and if you don't mind she'll be getting ready for a feed." She said, walking into her house, slamming the door behind her, cursing as she heard Lyla wake and begin to scream. She put the bags into the kitchen, and lifted Lyla from Hiram's arms. "She'll be hungry" she said simply, sighing as she collapsed on the sofa and beginning to feed her hungry daughter.
"What's wrong Ray-ray?" Hiram asked. ,moving to sit beside Rachel.
"I only went to the store. The first time I've been outside in Lima for the best part of a year, and I bump into my old Gle coach and two ex boyfriends. Now everyone knows what a looser I am."
"You're not a looser." Hiram said forcefully.
"I could have been a Broadway star." She told him, "Now look at me, I'm probably going to be stuck in Lima for the rest of my life."
"You might be in Lima. But you're no looser, Ray. You have got a beautiful baby girl, you could have given her away, or not had her at all. You oculd still have been in New York, but you didn't, you put your daughter's well being before your own. That is one of the most un-looser-est hings anyone could do. And noone's forcing you to stay in Lima forever, you can go anywhere Rachel, do anything. This is just a stopgap."
Rachel nodded, "thank you daddy."
"It's not a problem baby" he kissed her head as she winded Lyla, "Now why don't you leave this little lady with me and go and have a lie down?" he asked, taking Lyla from Rachel and kissing his daughter's head before she left the room
Lyla was in Lima for almost a month before she left the house. "This is your last diaper" Rachel told the young girl as she changed her that afternoon, she'd been hoping her daughter would go easy on the dirty diapers and allow Leroy to pick some up on his way home from work, but the baby had other ideas. "Come on then" Rachel sighed, "let' get you wrapped up." Rachel carried Lyla downstairs and strapped her into the car seat in the hallway, whilst she didn't like taking Lyla out, her fathers insisted on leaving the car seat at home, just in case Rachel needed it. She was glad they did. Rachel made sure Lyla's seat was secured to the base in the back of her car before beginning to sing softly to the radio as she drove to the nearest shop that sold the preemie size diapers Lyla needed, almost half an hour away.
"Excuse me" Rachel squeezed past another woman to reach for the pack of diapers she needed.
"Rachel." The woman turned to face her, a pack of toddler sized pull ups in her hand, "What are you doing here?"
"It's the nearest place to us that sells these" she gestured to the diapers in her hand.
"Preemie diapers?" Shelby raised an eyebrow, "why do you need. . ." she trailed off as Rachel turned her back on Shelby, putting the diapers in the basket hanging from the handles of Lyla's buggy. "Is that yours?"
Rachel nodded, "yes, SHE is mine. Now if you don't mind, we need to go"
"Rachel please" Shelby almost pleaded with her eldest daughter.
"What?" Rachel snapped back
"Can we talk sometime?"
"I beg your pardon"
"Please Rachel"
"What, am I not good enough? You don't want to know me, but you're willing to adopt my friend's baby, and then when you find out that I've got a baby you suddenly want to know me? Would things have been different if I'd have been in diapers myself when I found you?" Lyla began to whine, not liking her mother raising her voice. "shh, shh, it's okay baby, I didn't mean to upset you."
Shelby watched as Rachel rocked the buggy, talking softly until the baby was calm. "You don't know how hard it was for me Rachel."
"And you don't know how hard it was for me, she was almost 9 weeks early. Do you know how hard it was for me not to ring you, do you know how bad it made me feel that my fathers got the first flight out to New York to be with me, that they took unpaid leave from work to sit with me whilst my daughter fought for her life, but all I wanted to do was call you?"
"Rachel, I'm so sorry" Shelby reached for her daughter but Rachel took a step backwards "You should have called me, I'd have been there"
Rachel laughed sarcastically, "what, like you've been there every other time I needed a mother, like when I had horrendous morning sickness and needed someone to tell me it was okay, that it would end, someone to tell me how to make it better, like when I was 13 and had my first period and was convinced I was dying, like you were there when I was 16 and crying out for you to love me? I didn't ask for you to give me away. This mess isn't my fault, so I refuse to let you punish me for it"
"Rachel. . .Shelby?" Rachel turned to see Will walking towards her, a blonde toddler holding tightly to his hand, "what's going on?"
Rachel shook her head, "we were just leaving"
"This must be Lyla" he gasped peering into the buggy, "You can tell who her mummy is can't you" he smiled, "and she's so small"
"Me see Daddy" Beth pulled on Will's arm and he lifted her to his hip so she could see inside the buggy.
"You knew" Shelby spat. "You knew I had a grandchild and you didn't think to tell me?"
"No" Rachel stopped Shelby yelling, "You do not have a , you made it quite clear that I didn't have a mother three years ago, if you're not my mother you're not her grandmother. Mr Schuester it's been nice to see you again, I hope you and Beth grandchildare well" she said politely before walking away from her shocked mother.