April 11, 1912 4:15pm

Helen had a light tea on the enclosed promenade on Deck A watching the sea pass through the bright windows and the light play over the dark blue ocean.

She was having a strange fluxation in temperament. In company, she craved solitude. When she was alone, her mind filled with impossible what ifs. She wanted someone, anyone to occupy her. To shield her from the dark swirling chaos of her own mind. Thoughts of John, their unborn baby, the frozen embryo in storage. The women John had killed the fact that it was John who had killed them. How he had left her. He left her all alone with nothing in the long dark abyss of her future.

Now she was on her way to New York and the only person she knew was her estranged friend who was locked away.

Why hadn't Nikola told her? Let her help him? Did he no longer count her as a friend? There was a time, long before the 5 when Nikola would have gone to Helen for anything. And she in turn knew no matter what, she could turn to him. Nikola had been one who administered the source blood, the only one she trusted to do it.

If she had lost Nikola, who did she have left? James and Nigel were back in London. They had sent her on this trip as a special present. And hidden agenda was never their style

Perhaps Nikola had been too proud? The great master vampire, genius inventor thrown in jail for not paying his rent. And asking for help from Helen, it would be too humbling. It would be up to her, then to seek him out Perhaps she could pay his debt and free him before she returned to England. Of course she couldn't let him know it had been her. . Helen sighed and set down her tea. No, of course Nikola would guess at once it was her. What had been their last conversation? Surely she hadn't let him slip from her life as easily as exhaling? Helen stood slowly and headed back to her cabin.

What would she do? New York was a great big city with plenty to do and lots to see, she was sure. But the prospect of being alone with only her thoughts didn't appeal to her. 'Helen gave a rueful smile. Perhaps she would have to break Nikola out of prison just so she didn't have to be alone. Of course, then she would be stuck with Nikola. She pulled a face threw the brooch she had been holding across her cabin in frustration. After letting her anger subside, she began to dress for dinner

After all, she had days before they reached New York. She didn't need to decide anything just yet.

Helen looked out her window and sighed. It was going to be a long week.