This is not the dream I dreamed - Rachel faces up to the fact that her Broadway career could be over before it had chance to begin.
Rating - T
Character -Rachel (Also features her fathers, Finn, Will, Shelby, Beth and others)
A/N - Reviews/concrit are loved, and if there's anything you'd like to see happen the let me know and I'll try my best to work it in somehow.I'm from the UK, so if anything American is not quite right, please let me know and I'll fix it.
"Rachel?" Shelby mumbled sleepily as she moved to stand in the doorway of the spare bedroom, watching as Rachel tried to settle the child in her arms, the child that had been screaming for almost half an hour.
"I don't know what's wrong with her" Rachel sobbed, "I fed her about an hour ago and she won't take any more, she usually goes straight down after a feed, her diaper's clean, what if she's ill, she was premature, they said it could take some time for her immune system to develop, do you think I should take her to the hospital?" Rachel panicked. Shelby said nothing before she walked away, causing Rachel to sob and begin to throw her clothes into her overnight bag.
"What are you doing?" Shelby asked, walking back into the dark room and flicking on the small bedside light.
"I, I thought after everything we said earlier..." she shook her head, "I told you I thought my baby was ill and you left, I can't let you keep doing that to me, I won't let you do it to Lyla." She once again began to rock the screaming baby in a vain attempt to calm her.
"Rachel" Shelby sighed, "I went to get this" she gestured to the thermometer in her hand, "I didn't. . .Rachel, let's just sort Lyla out, then we can talk." Rachel nodded and stopped her pacing, allowing Shelby to put the thermometer in Lyla's ear, "36.9" Shelby announced, "she doesn't have a fever."
"I don't know what's wrong with her" Rachel sobbed, laying Lyla in the middle of the double bed, sitting beside her and stroking her arm, "she never cries like this."
"You say you fed her a while ago?" Shelby asked after watching Lyla for a while.
Rachel nodded, "I fed her not long after I bought her up."
"Can I. . ." Shelby gestured to the wailing child after watching her for a moment.
"Please" Rachel nodded, "do you think I should ring her paediatrician?"
"Just give me a minute." Shelby leant across the bed and began to rub firm circles on Lyla's stomach. "Have you got a bib or a cloth or something?" Rachel nodded, rummaging through the changing bag and passing Shelby a pink square of cloth. "Come here little one" Shelby slid her hands under Lyla's arms, allowing the girl's body to stretch out as she was lifted from the bed. She laid the cloth over her hand before sitting Lyla on her knee, supporting her head with her left hand, using her right to gently pat on her back, it took a while, but finally Lyla let out a huge burp. "Is that better eh, do you feel better now?" Shelby continued to rub Lyla's back for a moment before wiping her mouth with the cloth. "There we are. All better" Shelby handed Lyla back over to Rachel, "She'll probably want feeding again" she gestured to the milk covered cloth.
"Wind" Rachel looked from Shelby to Lyla, "she had wind."
Shelby nodded, "It's common in babies, it can be really uncomfortable for them."
"I thought she was ill" tears began to roll down Rachel's cheeks once again, "I was going to ring her doctor, and all she had was wind. I couldn't even tell."
"Hey" Shelby reached for Rachel,
"I'm a terrible mother."
"No" Shelby said firmly, "you knew there was something wrong with her, you knew she wasn't just being cranky, you're learning Rachel, no one expects you to be perfect at everything."
"You knew" Rachel said bitterly.
"Rachel" Shelby sighed, "I'll let you into a little secret. Beth had the same problem, only I actually did ring the doctor at four in the morning, she kept curling her legs into her chest like Lyla was, as soon as the doctor knew that she said it was probably nothing more serious than trapped wind."
Rachel nodded, tears once again filling her eyes, "I'm sorry" she whispered, "for erm, for getting angry with you."
Shelby smiled and laid her hand on Rachel's arm, "It's okay" she said sincierly, "I guess this is going to take some getting used to, for both of us. But don't worry about it now get Lyla settled, and then try and get some sleep. We can start again in the morning."
"Will you stay with me?" Rachel whispered, scared Shelby would say no.
"Of course."
Rachel smiled at her mother and gestured to Lyla "do you mind if I. . .?"
Shelby saw Lyla nuzzling against Rachel's chest and shook her head, "no, of course not." They sat in silence for a while before Shelby reached out to stroke the top of Lyla's head softly as she fed, "I'm really proud of you" she admitted, "other kids would have panicked, maybe put their own wants and needs before those of their child, but you faced the challenge head on. Lyla's lucky to have you."
Shelby watched as Rachel settled Lyla and settled her in the pink Moses basket before climbing under the covers and closing her eyes, "night" she whispered, "and erm, thanks".
Shelby smiled and nodded "Night Rachel" she replied as she flicked off the light by the bed. Waiting until she was sure Rachel was asleep before brushing the dark hair from Rachel's face and whispering, "thanks for giving me another chance"