Disclaimer: I'm not going to acquiesce. If you want to arrest me, go ahead. Going to jail for my love of these characters? No worries here, writing my true love would get me out…..
They were both emotionally drained. The world had stopped spinning for this moment. Their moment. Neither wanted it to end.
He'd pulled her into his bedroom led her to the edge of the bed.
"Rest with me Kate," he whispered tenderly.
She nodded and he helped her slip off her coat. He laid it across the chair and climbed on the other side of the mattress. Immediately she curled on her side, head resting on her elbow, knees bent. He mirrored her position, reaching out to brush her hair from her face.
"Now what?" She breathed.
"Kate, I always knew we would be together, but the writer in me could never figure it out. I wrote you hot and sexy as Nikki Heat, for years I thought we'd have some sizzling night. Start with fireworks, you know?"
"Is that how it was with your ex-wives?"
Sobering thought.
"Never really thought about it, but yeah, I guess so."
"And now?"
"And now, Kate Beckett, who's made all the songs make sense," she smiled at him, "I think I might have figured out the first layer of our onion."
She reached out with the hand not supporting her head and held his hand between them on the bed.
"What's that?"
"That you and I aren't star-crossed lovers. We aren't going to be a flash-in-the-pan. I realized we are a slow-burn Kate. We are going to burn for a long time; sometimes very, very hot…"
He smiled and let her see him lose his train off thought; eyes drifting upward in an exaggerated day-dreaming expression.
"Castle," she huffed, amused. He surveyed her face, his own full of joy.
"And sometimes Kate, I think we will burn cold."
Her eyes reflected her sadness – she knew what he meant.
"But, Kate, you…you are not like the others. My ex-wives. Maybe we were in danger of that once, but not anymore. I never knew them, never wanted to really know them. It was over before we started because I wanted the romance, the ideal, but not the flaws. I used to fall in love on crowded subways and at book signings. At least I used to think that was love. But I never wanted the baggage. I wanted them to heal me. I was selfish. I idealized you at first too. I even loved that you never apologized for anything; confirmed all my notions."
She smirked, but didn't want to interrupt his flow. He paused and smiled back, squeezing her hand.
"You *know* you have flaws. I *know* you have flaws and as they slowly came to light I just accepted them. Loved you despite them. Hoped I could help you heal from them. And that's the difference Kate, I want to heal you. I want you to let me heal you with all the love that I feel pouring out of me when I see you. I want to lay over a smiling you and have that image replace all the memories of you lying on the ground last summer after you were shot. I want to look in your eyes when I make love to you. To wake up and see you sleeping beside me; touch your hair, make you 'thank you' pancakes. To know that I am making you as blissfully happy as you make me. Kate, I want to give you everything."
She couldn't look in his eyes anymore. He was so intense and she was starting to feel uncomfortable.
"See that Kate. That right there is what I need you to try to work on."
"What?"
"You still don't think you deserve it. Believe Kate. Believe you deserve it so we can both be happy. So much of my happiness depends on yours now Kate. It isn't just your heart you hold in your hands, its mine now too. Can you see that?"
She did see. It was a shocking emotional dissonance. She wanted him to be happy. Suddenly, she was blinking back tears.
"Tell me the words," she whispered, "tell me that you forgive me." Her eyes searched for the sincerity in his.
"Kate, I forgive you. I love you." He blinked slowly. "I need you."
She'd have to believe it now because she believed in Richard Castle. Her demons couldn't shake that.
I believe.
She closed her eyes for a moment. This day, this day had changed everything. And now his words were ringing in her head, it was overwhelming.
"Hell of a day, huh?"
"Hell of a day," she hummed in agreement, eyes still closed.
"Kate?"
"Hmm?"
"When do you think we can burn hot?"
The sound of her laughter surprised them both. Her eyes were open as she pulled their hands to her hip, forcing him to shift closer to her.
"Trust me Castle, I want to make you happy."
"Just not tonight," he acquiesced.
"Oh Castle, you want me at my best for that. I told you when we met, you have no idea."
He swallowed visibly, "yeah?"
She laughed again, moving her thumb over his cheek and grabbing his ear lightly. She kissed him hard and fast, his face frozen mid-kiss, as she rolled away and off the bed.
"Don't worry Castle, I won't make you wait four years," she tossed over her shoulder as she reached the door.
He smiled, scrambling after her.
"Two years maybe, but definitely not four," she teased.
"Ka-ate," he whined as he reached the door, "remember you love me."