"Roxanne! Roxanne, wake up, I need to tell you something!" Megamind hissed in Bernard form, shaking her into wakefulness.

"What is it?" she mumbled, lifting her head slightly and opening bleary eyes.

"Roxanne, I need to tell you something, something very important that—"

"Can it wait until morning?" Roxanne asked, glancing over at the bedside clock, proclaiming that the hour was 1 AM.

"Well I suppose so, but—"

"So tell me then," she grumbled, rolling back over.

"But what if I forget!"

"If it's as urgent as you make it sound, I'm sure you couldn't possibly forget."

"But—"

"Goodnight, Honey," Roxanne said, closing the discussion, and she was asleep again in seconds. She hadn't really woken up completely in the first place. Megamind sighed. If she thought he couldn't forget something that important, she must not have known him as well as she thought.

"Oh, I'm such an imbiss—ile!" he berated himself quietly. "Of course she doesn't know me as well as she thinks! She doesn't even know who I really am! I'm such an idiot!" Then he lay back in bed and closed his eyes. He planned to stay awake so that he would remember, but of course he was exhausted, and sleep overcame his will to stay conscious.

Just as he suspected, he forgot all about it the next morning. He forgot until the most inopportune time, when there was no way he could tell her. And that was how it happened every time.

Every time he would try to tell Roxanne the truth of who he was, something would happen. Someone would interrupt, something would get in the way, too many people would be in the room, the phone would ring, he'd have to jet off to stop the newest criminal of Metro City in secret, his mood or hers would suddenly plummet—it was always something. Secretly, at the very back of his mind, a secret, subconscious part of him that even Megamind didn't even know about, he was glad every time he didn't get to tell her. He didn't want to tell her, didn't want her to know that he'd been lying this whole time.

Minion asked every day when Megamind stopped by the lair if Roxanne had been told, and the answer was always no. Minion grew more and more worried by the day, and as the due date approached, he knew that if Megamind didn't tell Roxanne, something bad would happen. As the eighth and then ninth month of Roxanne's pregnancy arrived, Megamind became more and more aware that with each passing day time was being wasted. So it was that one day he sat Roxanne down, determined to let nothing get in the way this time. Whether she hated him afterward or not, it would be better to find out from him than from the baby itself.

***Break***

"Roxanne, I have something very, very important to tell you," "Bernard" said, watching as Mrs. Ishoeihorpwafas sat down opposite him on the couch.

"What's wrong?" Roxanne asked.

"Roxanne, I'm about to tell you something that will shock you, and will probably make you hate me." Roxanne gave a small cry of protest as a bolt of pain raced through her. "No, I know what you're going to say, that nothing I do could make you hate me, but this is something that will change everything about how you look at me, and I think—"

"Bernard," she said quietly, but he just kept talking.

"—that it's better you learn this sooner rather than later, and I want you to know that—"

"Bernard," she said again, more urgently, clutching her stomach.

"—I love you, and—"

"Bernard!" Roxanne cried, and Megamind stopped, looking up at her. Worry suddenly crossed Bernard's features as he realized that she was in pain.

"What is it, are you OK, are you alright?"

"The baby!" Roxanne cried.

"What about it?"

"It's coming!" Roxanne shouted, and her husband completely flipped out.

"OHMYGOD WHATDOIDO AREYOUALRIGHT WHATDOIDO DOINEEDTOCALLSOMEONE WHATDOIDO?" he shouted, bug-eyed.

"Just calm down," Roxanne soothed, cringing as a spasm racked her body. "Call an ambulance!"

"What's the number for 911!" he called, picking the phone up frantically and fumbling with it in the air.

"911!" she called back, and couldn't help but be slightly amused by his absurdity.

"Oh, right!" he shouted, and quickly dialed the number. Within moments, paramedics were arriving and loading Roxanne into the back. As they prepared to drive off, Megamind gave it one last shot. "Roxanne, I need to tell you something!"

"It can wait until later!" she insisted, her breathing heavy and her face contorted in pain.

"No, it can't, I've been trying to tell you for seven months, and I need to tell you, before the baby arrives—" A hard hand closed over his shoulder and began dragging him back as a paramedic shut the door. "ROXANNE! ROXANNE I NEED TO TELL YOU! I NEED TO TELL YOU THAT I'M NOT REALLY BERNARD, I'M—" But the ambulance was already off down the street. Megamind tried to run after the vehicle, but the same hand was still restraining him, and he looked up to see Minion, one robotic hand clenched on his shoulder.

"Minion let me go, I need to get to the hos-pit-all!" Megamind cried, running against the gorilla-robot-fish's grip and coming up unsuccessful. "And what if someone had seen you!"

"Sir, I can't let you go! It's my job to protect you, and since you won't tell Miss Ritchi who you really are, I'm here to do just that!"

"But she needs me, Minion, I have to be there for her! I can at least tell her in the hos-pit-all! And I was just about to tell her when you pulled me away!"

"Sir, if you go and tell her while she's in labor, it might kill her—and if it doesn't, or if you're there when the baby is born, I don't think you'll be very well off yourself."

"But she needs me, Minion! I want to be there when our son or daughter is born! I order you to let me go!"

"No, I won't allow it, Sir!"

"Then you're fired!"

Minion's face went dark, and he nodded slowly.

"Fine, if that's how you want it to be, Sir," he stated, releasing Megamind from his grip and sending the man's disguised form stumbling into the asphalt.

"It is!" he shouted.

"Then have fun with your newly broken home!" Minion called over his shoulder, turning to leave.

"Because I can!" Megamind called after him.

"That doesn't even make sense!" Minion exclaimed, not for the first time, clearly upset.

"I know!" Megamind called after his former minion, and watched as the fish-robot-gorilla disappeared into the night, before turning and heading for the hospital.

Author Comments:

Oh Megamind, you're such an adorable spaz. :D So fun to write about your spazzy moments. :)

OH NOEZ! What will happen to Minion? Will Megamind get there in time? Will Roxanne still love him when she finds out? Will anything ever be the same? WILL MOUNTAIN DEW EVER STOP TASTING SO GOOD! No. No it will not. :D