This is not the dream I dreamed - Rachel faces up to the fact that her Broadway career could be over before it had chance to begin.
Rating - T
Character -Rachel (Also features her fathers, Finn, Will, Shelby, Beth and others)
A/N - Reviews/concrit are loved, and if there's anything you'd like to see happen the let me know and I'll try my best to work it in somehow.I'm from the UK, so if anything American is not quite right, please let me know and I'll fix it.
True to their word Shelby and Rachel's fathers visited almost constantly, it was Sunday evening and Rachel was laid in the bed with Shelby. Rachel had her head on Shelby's chest and Shelby was running her fingers gently through Rachel's hair, they'd spent the past couple of hours talking about anything and everything but had now slipped into a content silence.
That was until Rachel's phone began ringing and vibrating on the table by the bed. "It's Will" Rachel's face fell as she glanced at the offending item.
"Do you want me to get it?" Shelby offered
"Do you mind?"
Shelby shook her head and held out her hand, answering the phone once Rachel passed it over. "Hello"
"Rachel?"
"Close, it's Shelby"
"Shelby?" Will sounded puzzled
"Yes Will, Shelby, we lived together until two days ago, you can't have forgotten me that quickly."
"Where's Rachel?"
Shelby held her hand over the mouth piece, "do you want me to tell him?" Rachel nodded before Shelby spoke to Will again, "She's in the hospital Will."
"What?" Will interrupted before Shelby could explain, "What happened, is Lyla okay?"
"She's fine, she's with Rachel's fathers. Rachel took an overdose on Friday night."
"Oh my God." Will was shocked, "is she okay?"
"She's fine" Shelby repeated, "she's being discharged on Tuesday."
"Oh, right. . ." Will paused for a moment, "I wanted to talk to her about Lyla."
"I don't really think now's a good time Will"
"I know, will you ask her to call me when she's feeling a bit better."
"I'll tell her."
"Okay, bye Shelby."
"Will" Shelby spoke before he had chance to hang up.
"Yeah?"
"Beth is fine thank you for asking, she's misses you but she's getting better."
"Shelby I. . ."
"I'm going to stay with Rachel and her fathers for a while, a week or two at least, can you make sure your stuff is out of the house by the time I get back."
"Shelby"
"Goodnight Will" Shelby hung up before Will had the chance to speak again.
"Are you okay?" Rachel asked as Shelby placed the phone back by the bed.
"Yeah" Shelby smiled and kissed Rachel's forehead, "he wanted to talk to you about Lyla, I said I'd ask you to ring him when you're at home."
Rachel nodded, "do you think I should speak to a lawyer?"
Shelby continued playing absent mindedly with Rachel's hair before she shook her head, "not yet" she finally decided, "talk to him first, it would be better for everyone if you can sort this out between the two of you."
"If he wants to come over, to talk or to see Lyla or something, would you be there?" Rachel asked quietly.
"If you want me there." Rachel nodded, "I'll stay in the house, but I'll not be in the same room unless you feel like you really need me there."
"Thank you."
"It's okay" Shelby smiled, "don't worry about him for now, you just worry about getting better" she said before kissing Rachel's forehead softly.
It wasnt until Monday afternoon, after her therapy session, that anyone other than her parents came to visit. "Come in" she called after hearing a knock on the door, expecting it to be one of the many doctors or psychiatrists that she'd seen coming to 'talk' again. She didn't expect for the door to open slightly, and for Lyla's head to poke through the gap, the young girl beginning to babble loudly, kicking her arms and legs as a smile lit up her face, excited to see her mother. "Lyla" Rachel gasped, her smile growing as Finn pushed the door open and stepped into the room.
"Hey" He dropped the changing bag and empty car seat to the floor before handing Lyla to Rachel and kissing her softly. "How are you feeling?" he asked, sitting on the bed beside Rachel.
"Better now I've seen this little one" Rachel smiled running her fingers over Lyla's chest."
"Fine" Finn pouted, "nice to see you too" he joked.
Rachel smiled, "I don't usually see you every day" she reasoned, "but you know I like spending time with you."Finn smiled and said nothing, instead putting his arm around Rachel and pulling her into him, content to sit in silence with the two girls he loved. "Finn, I, I need to talk to you." Rachel broke the silence a while later once Lyla had fallen asleep in her car seat. She couldn't look him in the eye as she began her well rehearsed speech. "You know I love spending time with you, and you're great with Lyla, and I know we never actually said anything, but we both know we've not just been friends for a long time." She told him, referring to the fact that they spent most nights sleeping in the same bed, their bodies intertwined as Lyla slept in the room next door. "But I think right now, us being 'just friends' would be for the best, and I'm not saying that because I don't want to be with you because I do, but I need to get my head sorted out more, I need to figure things out, and I don't think I'd be able to be the girlfriend you deserve whilst I do that."
She slowly raised her gaze to meet his, and Finn nodded, disappointment obvious on his face. "Okay." He said slowly, "All I want is for you to be happy Rach, and if that means we're only friends, then we can just be friends, but I wanted to talk to you today too, and it's not really the sort of thing friends would say to each other, but if you don't mind I'd still like to do it?" Rachel nodded, Finn had listened to her, it was only fair she listened to him. "My heart stopped when Shelby rang me Rachel, I couldn't breathe when she told me what you'd done. The thought of loosing you, loosing you both" he glanced to Lyla before shaking his head, "I don't know what I'd do without you, so I erm, I made myself one of those five year life plan things, but I understand you want space, you want time to sort yourself out, that's fine, I can make it a ten year plan, fifteen, whatever." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled sheet of paper, handing it to Rachel, watching as she unfolded the note and began to read.
1. Ask Rachel to Marry me
2. Marry Rachel?
3. Take Rachel and Lyla out of Lima
4. Have at least 1 more child
5. Talk to Rachel about adopting Lyla
6. Adopt Lyla?
"I know that last one might be a bit difficult now, cos like Will might say no." He began, "but I don't want to plan my future Rach, I want it to be ours" he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, "I was hoping to cross number one off my list today, but I still want to give you this Rach" He opened the box to reveal an antique diamond ring, "my dad's dad gave it to my Gran, my dad gave it to my mom, and then it got passed on to me, he told me I'd know who I had to give it to. I want you to have it Rach, as a promise that I'll wait, I'll wait however long you need me to, and if for whatever reason things don't work out, you decide you're too good for me, whatever, I want you to wear it to remind you that I'll always be here for you, wherever you go, even if you're a world famous Broadway star and I'm still a Lima looser, if you need someone all you have to do is call me, I'll be there Rachel." He slipped the engagement ring onto the ring finger of her right hand before looking up at her and noticing the tears rolling down her face. "Oh Rachel" Finn sighed, "you don't have to wear it, you can take it off, I just thought. . ."
Rachel shook her head and placed her hands over his. "It's beautiful Finn, I don't have anything to give you, but I promise you too, I promise you that one day we'll cross all those things off your list, in fact" she took a deep breath, "you can cross number five off already, I don't know about the technicalities, there's no father named on her birth certificate, but when we're married and settled, and if it's possible I would love for you to be able to cross number six off your list. And even if it's not legally possible" Rachel whispered softly, "Will might be her father, but in my eyes you'll always be her daddy Finn."
Finn smiled, "Thanks Rach." They sat in silence for a while before Finn dropped a kiss to Rachel's head as she yawned, "go to sleep" he told her.
"Stay with me?" She mumbled sleepily.
"Always" Finn promised, laying with Rachel, allowing her to snuggle into him as she drifted off. He waited until he was sure she was completely asleep before kissing her damp cheeks, wishing he could kiss away all the pain, wishing he could simply kiss Rachel better. "I know you haven't made your mind up yet, but I will never do you wrong" he sang softly, hoping that Rachel would still want to be with him when she was feeling better.