Part 31

"I know, I know," sighed Shawn not even looking up from his paperwork as Hunter slipped into their private study, "I screwed up big time."

"Yeah, you did," agreed Hunter, his exhaustion and fatigue audible in his voice.

"Are they okay?" asked Shawn glancing over his shoulder flicking his mate a strange look.

"Well no one's dead," huffed Hunter instantly regretting the growl in his voice when he saw Shawn flinch. Wiping his hand over his face he let out a long low breath before adding, "I'd stay out of Lex's way for the moment though. That pup is on the war path and you are enemy number one."

Shawn nodded before slowly turning his chair around and gazing at his mate. Hunter looked tired, there were new lines around the alpha's eyes that hadn't been there a few days ago. With his wolf howling in distress at the idea he had added to Hunter's difficulties, Shawn got to his feet, wincing slightly as his back complained at the sudden movement. Pushing the pain to the back of his mind he crossed over to Hunter and sliding his hands around his mate's waist he gave him a weary smile drawling, "You need to rest Darlin', you're starting to look as old as I feel."

"Thanks!" growled Hunter glaring at him. But he couldn't stay mad for long. Not when Shawn gazed at him with those sparkling loving laughing eyes. Letting his hands fall into place on Shawn's hips, Hunter pulled his mate closer relishing the instant calm that flowed through him. Dropping his head forward he rested his forehead against Shawn, taking in deep breaths, drawing in the unique scent that made up his mate of so many years.

Closing his eyes, Hunter sighed before pulling back slightly. He narrowed his eyes noticing a strained look in Shawn's face that he hadn't spotted when he'd first entered the room. Stroking Shawn's head, he murmured, "What's wrong?"

For a moment Shawn didn't answer, he simply closed the small gap between them, leaning into his mate, seeking comfort and support. Frowning at the strange move Hunter wrapped his arms around Shawn and nuzzled his face against the blonde hair, knowing better than to push for an answer. Instead he reached out using the mating bond, letting his love and comfort flow over his stressed mate. He smirked as he felt Shawn's wolf react to him, felt the scraggy blond lupine rub against his own spirit, the older spirit yapping happily at the connection.

After a few minutes Shawn wriggled against him before finally pulling back. With the saddest look on his face, he raised his eyes and staring Hunter in the face, he breathed, "I think Ted is about to do something really, really stupid."

X x x x x x x x x

"You wanna borrow Pookie?"

Cody sniffed angrily as he looked up but even as he started to form the sarcastic response he found it dying in his throat. Instead he just stared at the little girl who was gazing back at him. Alanna tilted her head – a move scarily reminiscent of her father – and offered him a slight smile. Thrusting her hand forward she waved the aforementioned Pookie at Cody and waited for a response.

With a myriad of emotions warring inside his soul Cody only just managed to shake his head before looking away. He couldn't bear to look at Alanna, to see the sadness in the little's girl's eyes and know that he was cause of it. He screwed his eyes shut, his hands curling into tight fists as he tried to hold it together. Everything was falling apart around him and now the one person who had more reason on earth than anyone to hate him was offering him comfort.

"You look sad."

Cody jumped. He hadn't realised the little girl had moved or that she was now sitting beside him on the step looking out towards the pack lands.

"Yeah well…" snapped Cody but he caught himself just before he swore. Shaking his head he gave a bitter laugh asking," What are you doing out here alone?"

"Everyone's busy," replied Alanna honestly then giving Cody a big smile she leant in and whispered, "I think Uncle John's doing big person stuff in the kitchen with the big kitty."

Cody couldn't help the smile or the chuckle at the idea of John doing big person stuff. Reaching out he stroked Alanna's hair, smoothing down the stray strands that had escaped her bunches. It had been over a year since he'd spent any time with the little girl and if he was honest he'd missed her. Before the accident he'd spent a lot of time with her, playing with her, babysitting her when Randy and Sam wanted private time. But after the accident, after everything had gone wrong, he had barely seen her.

Alanna smiled at him then frowning slightly she asked, "Why did you go away? Didn't you like it here?"

Cody swallowed hard. He didn't know how much Randy had told Alanna, he didn't know if the little girl sitting beside him even knew he was the one who had killed her mother and nearly destroyed her father in the process.

"I had to go away," breathed Cody, "I couldn't stay here. I…things happened and…"

"Everyone left me," sighed Alanna looking down at the bear in her hands.

"What do you mean?" asked Cody swallowing down the bile he could feel rising in his throat. His wolf was howling in distress, crying out for his mate but there was no comforting mental caress, no shadow of the blond wolf who normally appeared in his mind the moment Cody needed him. Screwing his eyes shut Cody rasped, "I'm sorry."

For a moment there was silent then with a little hand brushing Cody's thigh Alanna asked, "Why you sorry?"

"It was my fault," confessed Cody not daring to look at her, not wanting to see the hate fill Alanna's eyes.

"What was your fault?" asked Alanna shifting closer.

"I didn't see her," whispered Cody his voice thick with tears, tears of regret, of sadness and self-pity, "I was so desperate to get home I just didn't see the black wolf run across the road. I never saw her I….I never…not until that sickening thud…"

Finally he broke down, sobbing softly curling up into himself as he finally let go; as he finally gave way to the overwhelming guilt and self-hate that had been eating away at him for so long.

Alanna stared at him blinking as her little brain tried to work out what it was that Cody had been saying. When she failed to grasp the full extent she simply shrugged her little shoulder and edged closer. Just as she was getting comfy she gave a massive squeal and suddenly leapt up and started to run as fast as her little legs could carry her towards the pack woods.

Hearing the squeal Cody looked up, and pawing at his eyes, he watched with a shattered heart as Randy bent down and scooped his squealing little girl up into his arms, hugging her tightly. Cody watched as Alanna wriggled in her father's arms, leaning over to press a wet kiss on her second father's cheek, giggling loudly as Evan tickled her bare foot. Watching the happy scene Cody slowly realised he was watched. Swallowing down his nerves he slowly forced himself to meet Randy's gaze. As he locked eyes with the man he had once considered a pack brother he felt his heart break all over again because once again Randy was staring at him with nothing but pure and utter disgust.

TBC