(So sorry it's taken so long for the next chapter! I've had college and I've had such bad writers block, but I'm back! Thanks for all your lovely, lovely reviews!)
Throughout dinner, I kept my promise and I stayed totally sober. We kept our feelings secret; I don't think it would help the kids. I couldn't cope with having more attachments to the kids that might not make it through another games, so I keep my distance. District 12 never did have much luck. I couldn't help it though, every time her sparkling blue eyes caught mine over the table, I had to resist the urge to take her in my arms and run away. Run away from the Capitol and all it stands for, run away from The Hunger Games, run away from everything, just her and me. Together. Although I couldn't let this distract me, it was the day of The Hunger Games, I had to help these kids. I saw a spark in Katniss that reminded me a little too much of my younger self, as much as I despised it, I knew if she played it right, she could win this.
Soon after the prep team took them away, designed them in their costumes, which might be the last thing they ever wear. I'd never faced the whole process of them leaving sober, the woman was trying to drive me insane. I felt a pain in my chest, remembering my time in the games, remembering the horrors, the brutality, and the complete loss of innocence. Next thing I knew, I was shaking, crying, erratically pacing round in circles. I need her. I need her to keep me calm. I couldn't go back on my promise, I couldn't. I knew it would help if she wasn't there, but I couldn't. I can't ruin the one thing that could make things better, for once. "Effie?" I shouted through the halls, "Effie Trinket?" Nothing. Nobody even flinched to see who was shouting. I was going insane.
"Haymitch? Haymitch, are you with me? Wake up!" I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder and a pounding in my head. "Wh…Where am I? What happened?" I was sat on an unfamiliar bed with a bright pink wig hanging over me, with those eyes. "You must've tripped, I heard your calls and came running but by the time I came you were on the floor. Are you feeling okay, my darling?" I blushed a little at the phrase "my darling". "Yea, I'm fine, I just got a little… Stressed. I can't face it sober, it's too hard, I remember too much." I looked up at her caring eyes, she was perfect and the make-up was toned down, as if she'd listened exactly to what I'd said. "Oh my love, I'm so sorry. I'm here, it's okay, I'm here" she carefully wrapped herself around me, like she was shielding me from my past, like a mother would. I felt safe, untouched and calm with her, there wasn't anywhere else I'd want to be. "I.. I.. I think I'm.." I stuttered out, before there was a siren and her name across the speakerphone, "report immediately to the prep room". "I'll be right back, darling!" She said quickly and tottered out the room and shut the door. "I think I'm falling for you" I whispered as she left.
I hated myself for feeling the way I do. Was it even possible for us to be together? What would happen when she had to go back to the Capitol and me to District 12? Have I gotten myself involved in something, which would later lead me to what I knew I had to avoid? I felt sick. I couldn't cope with the pressure. I'd never felt this strong about anyone, but I don't know if we could even be together. I knew this would cause more problems than solve them, but I didn't want to let her go, I feel so different when I'm with her, she drives me insane, but in the best ways. I can't let the Capitol destroy the one person that could save me from myself. The one person who can truly ever make me into the man I always wanted to be. The one person who truly makes me happy. I'm not letting her go. I'll fight if I have to.