Harry woke up to a numbing throb in his arms and a huge knot in his throat. He didn't really remember what had happened the night before but somehow they were in the living room and he was surprised to say that he was pressed up against Lou's chest. One arm was snaked around Harry protectively and the other was tucked underneath his head uncomfortably in attempts of a pillow. He didn't even remember getting on the coach with Louis though. What the hell happened?

Harry blinked a few times, his eyes feeling sore and puffy from crying the night before. He didn't dare move a muscle because he didn't want Louis to wake up. It was far, far to early for something like that. Plus, it was nice to have a few minutes to have some moments to yourself. He didn't really want to move either..for some reason, this was comfortable just where he was. A part of him wanted to live within the moment forever because as of this moment, everything was perfect and he could let everything of his past go and it would just be him and Louis.

What the hell am I talking about. He thought, brushing the thought away.

The longer he sat there with Louis, the more her remembered the night before – him breaking down miserably, Lou catching him cutting, how FRIGHTENED he looked.. Gulping, he tentatively looked over one of his bare shoulder to see it wrapped tightly in gauze thanks to Louis.

In all honesty, he thought that Louis took it a bit too far with the gauze and the whole helping him idea, he didn't even need bandages for he had never even gave the cuts a second thought once he was done, never mind treat the cuts with bandages when he harmed himself. But at the same time, the gesture kind of made him soft and realise that Louis cared and the thought alone was comforting even though Harry knew that Lou cared.

Harry sighed deeply, feeling his heart flutter at the thought before discarding the feeling absentmindedly and nuzzled deeper into Louis' chest and fiddling with a piece of his shirt that popped out randomly.

"Good morning, mate." Harry froze at these words, not really expecting Louis to wake up. Before the night before, Harry had never been so lost of words – so speechless. It was different and weird in a sense that LOUIS could make him react in such a way. Especially since the two never had much of a awkward silence before ever – they just got on with each other so well, there WAS no space for silence.

Louis waited for him to talk, but he never did. Louis voice came again, softer this time. "I know..you probably don't want to talk about last night but you know that I'm right here for you if you need me, right? I always will be, I promise."

A pause.

The Doncaster lad sighed heavily, knowing that Harry wasn't going to say anything to him right then. But what Louis DIDN'T know what to do. He didn't know what to SAY.

"Louis, I-" Harry started, half choking due to the sheer pain from the lump in his throat. He looked up at Louis' face, seeing that Louis was obviously upset with his silent spell. Upset and Louis have never been used in a sentence before, and the thought of using it now frightened him and worried him to death.

Seeing Louis' face only made things worse. His emotions were clearly drawn in his features, the confusion and agony and just pure misery made him look like the 20 year old he was, not the fun-loving guy everyone knew him for. The sight made a shiver run down Harry's spine, whether it was good or bad, he didn't know.

"Don't." Lou murmured obviously giving up on the hopes that Harry was ever going to say anything meaningful to him. He looked away from him, shrugging Harry off of him as an attempt to get up. Reluctantly, Harry gave way – rolling over on his side and upright so he was now sitting properly on one side of the couch as Louis got up off the other. He wrecked his mind for something to say, anything to say. Something to make Louis stay with him, to not be so MAD at him. He wanted to give Louis an explanation of why he was the way he was. Why he would cut, why he would do all these things to himself – but there was no explanation. Everything just happened so quickly, emotions gets so riled up, he doesn't even know anything anymore. If he could, he would tell Lou everything that he had to know, but the thing was he didn't even know how to explain what he was going through. He didn't know why he was so damn broken and fucking fragile like this. It wasn't LIKE him to be like this.

All that he really knew was that he was so damn lost – He was tired but he couldn't sleep. He tried faking it – smiling for the cameras and laughing for interviews without any raw feeling behind any of it, pulling himself together for the sake of the fans and for the sake of his band mates, he really tried. Sooner or later he was bound to break, and Louis just happened to be around when he did.

While Harry was trying to find a way to word something that wasn't a lie but wasn't the complete truth either, Louis had disappeared to grab his hoodie and beanie and walked through the living room once more.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked as he pushed himself off the couch to follow Louis like a lost pup. "Are you going to the hospital and telling them about..Are you going to get me into therapy?" His mind raced as he thought of the first thing that Louis could possibly do, panic making his chest swell up.

Louis opened the door and they were both greeted by a chilling wind that wrapped itself around the two boys, making Harry's skin prickle with the cold since he was still shirtless after all. They both knew that he wasn't going to make it far if he chased Louis out the door due to the weather.

Louis furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion at his poor friend. "I'm going for a walk, Harry." He heard him sigh. The thought of Louis leaving Harry, even for a little bit scared him. He couldn't let it happen. "No, Louis, please. I..I can't trust myself alone." He stammered, words flushing out of him quickly before he even got a chance to think about what he said.

Louis blinked, his stoic features slowly unraveled his twisted shock. Without even hesitating to think his thoughts out correctly, Louis shut the door behind him with a booming thud that echoed off the walls of the flat and turned around and grabbed a bewildered Harry by the shoulders and pinning him against the nearest wall, feeling the air getting knocked out of Harry as he squirmed from surprise.

"What are you doing? Louis, I didn't mea-"

"Harry, why would you do something like that?" Louis cut him off curtly. "Why would you cut? Don't you realize what you're doing to me and what you would do to everyone if they found out? Imagine how Anne would react. Liam. Zayn. Niall! They would all take it out on themselves!" Louis saw Harry flinch at how frustrated the Doncaster lad was, it was weird seeing him like this – seeing him different from the nonchalant joker that a lot of people knew him for. It scared Harry.

"Lou-"

"NO! Harry." Louis hissed. "It's all because of Caroline, isn't it?" At this point, Harry had started tearing up at the name, answering Louis' question almost immediately.

At this point, the two boys were almost inches away from one another, both shaking from all of the emotion. Louis deflated soon after, seeing that Harry was hurt and he shouldn't be screaming at him.

"Harry..I know she was.." he sighed, shifting his weight ever so slightly. He didn't like talking of her. "I- I know she meant a lot to you. And I understand that you're probably going through a lot. But you need to know that I'm right here with you, every step of the way. We're best friends, mate." His voice was barely a whisper now.

The house was silent, and the only thing that could be heard was the rasp of Harry's uneven breaths between the choked tears. Louis couldn't help but notice that he was adorable. Puppy-like even. It amazed him how even if Harry had puffy red eyes and his nose shimmered a faint fleshy red and looked like a wreck that he still managed to fit the description of down-right kissable. Or at least to Louis.

"Lou, I'm s-sorry.." Harry breathed huskily. "I-" Before Harry could even finish, Louis had leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips, cutting him off.

Yeah I'm an ass for cutting it off when it gets good, but it was a long chapter xD More to come, leave a word, sentence, anything in the reviews please. It keeps me motivated to keep writing! Thanks goes out to nothingbuttrouble202, Mersheart, and EatFunLove for reviewing.