The view in front of him is quite different from the last time he saw Carlos, lying on the stretcher, a little afraid but in good spirits and not in pain. When he looks at Carlos now, he's suddenly not so sure he can do this. But he's got to, he can't just turn around and run. Carlos needs him.

There's another nurse standing by the bed, putting something in Carlos' IV. She's talking softly to him, but James can't hear what she's saying. From the door, James hears Carlos whimper that he just wants James and his heart breaks a little. "I'm right here baby," he speaks up finally, stepping over to the bed.

Carlos is lying flat on his back, looking far too small in that big hospital bed. There are so many tubes and wires everywhere, snaking beneath his hospital gown. Carlos rolls his head to the side and his eyes lock with James', and James can see there are tears streaking his boyfriend's cheeks. He's not sure if it's because of the pain or because of the news he received. Maybe a little of both. James briefly looks up at the nurse for answers.

She gestures to the IV drip. "I just upped his dosage of morphine. Spinal cord injuries can be pretty painful," she says apologetically, like she's the one who made Carlos fall. "Since he was in shock directly following the accident he didn't register the pain right away," she explains. James nods, offers a 'thank you' so quiet he's not certain he even said the words out loud.

He focuses his attention back on Carlos, speaking quietly to him and trying to calm him. "Kendall and Logan are here, out in the waiting room. When you're up to it I know they'd love to come see you."

Carlos' eyes flicker towards the door briefly before looking back at James and he nods a little. "In a minute." He takes a few deep breaths, in and out, slowly. The color is gradually starting to return to his face as the morphine kicks in and he scrubs at the dried tears on his cheeks. "I might not walk again." He says matter of factly.

But James won't even consider that. He shakes his head quickly. "No. You will."

"James, you don't know that." The medication is threatening to cloud his mind, but he fights through that. He wants to talk to James, wants to see Kendall and Logan. Still, he can hear its effect on his speech. He tries to focus on speaking more slowly and clearly.

"And you don't know that you won't." James' voice is firm, but gentle. He's nearly as devastated as Carlos must feel, but he's trying to hold it together. Carlos, on the other hand, looks a little too drugged to be too upset about much of anything at the moment.

"Do you think Gustavo will build a ramp for my wheelchair?" The smaller boy muses, and James can't help but smile at his nonchalant, sleepy tone.

"He'll have to by law." James assures him. "But hey, let's not worry about any of that now. Okay? We need to focus on you getting lots of rest so you can get better."

"I am resting," Carlos grumbles, gesturing to the bed. It's clear that even in his condition he's not happy about being laid up in bed. "But I don't want to sleep. I wanna see the guys."

James nods then rises to his feet. "I'll be right back," he tells Carlos, turning and exiting the room. As he walks down the hall he can see his friends pacing in the waiting room. When they spot him they start towards him, anxious expressions on both their faces.

"Is he okay?" Logan asks quickly, frown lines around his mouth.

"He seemed pretty upset when I first went in there," James told them. "He's in a lot of pain but they upped his morphine dosage and he's more relaxed now. He asked for you both."

"Well then come on, what are we waiting for?" Ever the one to take charge, Kendall marched off down the hall, turning and looking at James and Logan expectantly until they began to follow. Kendall pushed the door to Carlos' room open and Logan stepped forward to go inside, but James hung back.

"You too go ahead in. I just need to use the bathroom," James lied. "I'll meet you guys in there." He waved them on and turned around, not waiting for a response as he continued down the hall until he spotted the restroom sign. Upon pulling the door open and stepping inside, he was relieved to see that it was one-person bathroom. He locked the door and leaned against it, letting himself slide down to the dirty floor, not even caring. Now that he was alone, now that he knew Carlos was with Logan and Kendall, it was like all that adrenaline was seeping out of his body and the reality of everything that had happened was sinking in.

He'd screwed up. He'd screwed up so badly. He'd had good intentions when planning the picnic for Carlos, but he should have known better than to try and take him hiking. Carlos was an easygoing guy who loved a lot of things, like hockey and corndogs and rollerblading and his helmet. But hiking? Not so much. Walking for long distances and climbing were not really Carlos' idea of a good time. He liked to do fun things, like go to amusement parks and ride roller coasters until he puked, or go to the park and eat an ice cream cone while looking up at the clouds and trying to find fun shapes in them. James had been selfish, picking something that HE liked to do.

James rubs his hands over his face, silently berating himself. As if being selfish hadn't been enough, he'd snapped at Carlos for complaining about being miserable and then he'd let him storm off by himself and fall. James knew Carlos was accident-prone. He should have known better and gone after him right away. But no, as usual his stupid pride had gotten in the way.

Carlos was going to survive and he was so grateful for that. But it was because of him that his boyfriend was lying in that hospital bed flat on his back and not even knowing if he was ever going to be able to feel his legs again. When you thought of it that way, it didn't seem that Carlos had gotten lucky at all. And it was all his fault.

Tears blur his vision and he does nothing to stop them. After all, there's no one there to see them. "I'm so sorry Carlos," he whispers to the empty room, his head in his hands. His khaki shorts are getting all dirty from sitting on the filthy floor where people have walked all day, with god knows what on the bottom of their shoes but he just doesn't care, he doesn't care about anything at all right now except Carlos. He wishes he could wave a magic wand and fix everything. But he can't; he doesn't have a magic wand. He's just James, and as he's now finding out, James Diamond isn't so perfect after all.