My sweet Hazel Grace,
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so scared this cancer might claim me soon. When I got home from the hospital after the G tube incident, I didn't know what to do. I'm so sorry I called you so early that day. All I was trying to do was buy myself a goddamn pack of cigarettes. I can't even do that anymore. The only thing keeping me sane is you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm so sorry I put you through that mess. I hate the fact that you had to see me like that: covered in vomit, smelling like shit, infected G tube. I don't want to put you through that ever again. I can't stand it. I hate myself for that.
Okay. I love you, Hazel Grace. Forever.
Augustus Waters
P.S.
I forgive you for calling the ambulance. I know now that my resistance was futile and if you hadn't been there... I would no longer be here.