adveniat regnum tuum
Thy kingdom come
He had been able to make a good deal and earned a lot of money of selling the coats. Now he was walking to church, like he always did.
Friar Christopherus was always awaiting him, with a candle, although the poor priest didn't know why he was praying.
Today he took his candle again, made his tribute and walked over to his place.
He sat down in front of the picture of Mary. What? A candle was burning on the attachment.
Not for too long. Seems as if another sinner is in town. But this thought didn't matter to him. The fates of others never did.
He had to stay alive, nothing more mattered. Far away from his past, fighting for his survival.
He prayed and went into the saloon. But the second candle was still on his mind. Eventually it had been a herold. Fuck! Stop it! That's over and the candle is just a coincidence!
Arriving in the saloon, he sat down at the last free table as the landlord brought him the food, and ordered a brandy.
Suddenly he noticed that something was so not alright.
He could feel it, almost touch it. He continued eating slowly and glanced around his surrounding.
Loggers, criminals, police men, farmer from hinterland, huntsmen, everyone was acting normal. Still he senses somebody watching him.
This somebody was pretty damn good in not attracting attention. Maybe someone at the bar? No. He was face-to-face with the bar, that wasn't possible... Who else?
He forced himself to continue eating as if he didn't notice anything. Then he saw by chance that the landlord stole a peep at the galery right above his table.
Damn it! Eventually he couldn't pull out his revolver and shoot at the galery. He ended his meal, payed and left the saloon.
Just being outside he could feel the looks on his back again. The moon was shining bright this night. He looked at the upper windows but couldn't see anything because the shadow was too dark to look through it.
He made his way to his billet, cursing. Knowing just to well that eyes were following him. He would find out who it was. Until now he always defeated and killed everyone who dared to do this.
And still, he was wishing for his swords at his belt and not these small pistols. He felt too helpless with them.
Uneasy sleep visited him this night, dreaming of bygone happenings which were reflecting in the light of the candle who stood underneath the picture of Mary.
He saw people whom he killed, people who had helped him and every now and then the memory of a person appeared that stood in the dark, so he could only see its outlines.
Nevertheless he knew who it was and saw a blonde streak, swept off the elegant face by a thin hand. He turned away from this picture, not being able to stand it anylonger.
This memory belonged to the things he left behind. At least he hoped it. In the dream he felt this person stepping out of the dark, closer to him.
As rangy fingers touched his shoulder, he woke up and looked panicked around the room, trying to fight down the feelings. That is over. I betrayed this person, just like it betrayed me! Anyhow, the shadow stayed.
A shadow of these feelings which caused a lot of trouble. But he enjoyed them back then.
The room, in which he was lying, was empty. No one was there. Only close to the back, at the cupboard next to the door, there was a mouse running around, looking for food.
He felt watched again. The mouse was staring at him when it noticed he was awake. Maybe it tried to figure out whether to be scared or not.
Oh lord! He buried his head in his hands and sighed. Why are you still following me, you damn bastard? The mouse disappeared when he started moving.
He was lying down again, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep. Why can't I forget you? He turned to the other side and stared at a rat which was looking up to him from beneath the door.