Title: The Secret Life of St Bartbley Students

Summery: PWP chapter fic. What the title says. Also Artemis in a skirt and is the ah... coughschoolslutcough Don't like, don't read. Simple ne? No Butler, sorry ppl. Just a whole lot of OC's. But don't worry. None of them are girls. :P R&R!

Disclaimer: I do not own... I'm just 'borrowing' Artemis for a while... (Looks around, stuffing Arty into a closet) Yes... for a while.

Authoress' Note: Out of the various boys that will (or have) appeared in this story, I have taken a great liking to Zack. :) Don't know why. I just have. This story is doing quite well. I'm pleased. :D.

Flamers. You know. I'm curious as to WHY you flame. I mean... there really is no reasonable and/or sane explanation to it. I'd love to know why you read a story you hate and then bitch to the author about various things. Well... mostly it's your very strong hate of homosexuality and stories centered around two boys loving each other. You're close minded and petty. I can understand that and I respect it but. Flaming me... why do you do it? Someone care to enlighten me? And I'd like a GOOD reason. None of that "slash is gross and wrong" shit please. Because I don't care, obviously. I'm writing the stuff aren't I?

And you guys do know you're boosting my review count? Making the story seem more popular then it is. Which attracts more reader's. Making ME more popular.

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Chapter Three: What alcohol can do a dignified genius

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St Bartbleys student dorms looked more like Five Star hotel suits than bedroom boarding school students lived in. Each dorm had two bedrooms, each with a large double bed, self and desk. A sitting room with matching leather lounges, a coffee table and a TV. (With video game consoles the boys brought from home) and a bathroom. All furnished enough to make even the Queen herself, feel at home.

Artemis shared a dorm with Zack. But the genius never really stayed in one bedroom. Instead choosing to bed hoop from one room to the next.

Now. Don't get the wrong the idea here people. Artemis didn't sleep with just any boy. He only privileged those with his love making talents to boys he thought where worthy. Which is a long way of saying.

"He shags the cutes ones."

Or rather.

"He let the cute ones shag him."

Some people found it strange that Artemis Fowl II - a normally bossy and dominate boy - would let himself be bottomed. The boy never really put up any fight. He was asked once, by Oliver. Why he preferred the submissive position then the top. Oliver really couldn't give a rats ass why. He just thought it was proper to ask.

Artemis had replied that being on the bottom was less work than the chap doing the shagging. And in his humble opinion. It felt better too.

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It was Friday night and the boys of St Bartbleys where celebrating the eight or so hours to the weekend. Well if you called getting pissed off your face and having sex celebrating. But I guess a lot of people do I suppose. (AN: Not me. I don't like alcohol) It would probably be fair to say that not all of the students enjoyed getting drunk and having mindless sex for no apparent reason. But there weren't a lot of them.

Seeing as though this particular school was full of sex deprived, hormonally charged boys. All desperate for any kind of sexual contact. And where forbidden to go anywhere near St Margret's Collage for Young Ladies. St Bartbleys inappropriately named sister school. Inappropriately named because of the slutty little tarts that attended said school.

So 90 of the student body turned homosexual. Or Bi at least. But back to the boys.

Drunk, horny and over excited. The boys in Artemis's group where having a jolly old time, getting pissed and pawing each other shamelessly. You're probably all wondering what Artemis doing. Well. At that precise moment, the prodigy was dancing. Yes you're not going insane. Artemis was dancing. IF you could call what he was doing dancing of course. To everyone else it looked as though he was having sex with an invisible person. Still in his school uniform, Artemis was pulling and and ruffling his skirt. Moving his slender body in a slow and sensual rhythm. Hands running over the smooth curves of his hips, ass, chest and practically everything else he could reach. His dark hair was out and fell over his eyes with classic elegance. The dark curls bounced slightly as the genius twirled around. Completely lost in the music that sounded like it belonged in a porn flick.

This unusual behavior from Artemis Jr was all caused by the large amounts of alcohol he had consumed. When drunk the genius went from cold and cruel. To happy and quite horny. He would agree to almost anything and erupt into fits of giggles when seeing something he thought to be extremely funny. Like for example, Sesame Street.

Quite odd yes. But it was a nice change from the genius's usual behavior. And everyone lucky enough to whiteness this display weren't complaining. It was one of the hottest things they had ever seen. Almost as hot as their pron collection they hid in the library. A strange place to keep porn, but they're boys. So I guess it evens its self out. (AN: Kidding. To any boys reading this.)

Artemis's dancing was interrupted as a pair of strong hands gripped his waist and stopped him. Mid spin.

"Mind if I cut in?" asked a husky voice from behind him.

Artemis's pretty face broke out into an uncharacteristic smile and he giggled.

"Of course not." he said, hiccuping cutely.

Zack smirked and handed the genius a glass of some drink. Artemis took the offer and sipped the drink curiously. He made a face than swallowed.

"What did you want?"

The blond pressed himself against the more than willing body of St Bartbleys star student. Dragging his hands up the smaller boys milky thighs, under the skirt. Artemis let out a giggle as Zack began to knead the supple behind.

Zack squeezed harder, leaning down to kiss and lick the slender neck. Answering the Irish boys previous question.

"Oh nothing much. Just a quick fuck. What do you say beautiful?" he asked, running his tongue up Artemis's neck and over his mouth.

The genius didn't say anything at first. Only because Zack had stuck his tongue down his throat. Kissing him hungrily.

During the kiss Artemis barely registered being pushed to wards his bedroom. Zack was good at doing that. Kissing someone and then moving that person to a different place without them knowing. The blond soccer player considered himself a sex god. A pretty accurate title. Zack was very good in bed. But what he excelled at between the sheets, he lacked in things that are important. Like manners, morals and a conscious. But being extremely good looking and gifted in the sack. These cons of Zack's character where forgotten. I mean come on. Since when do you have to be nice and moral to someone into bed? It should matter weather you're a prick or not. But in the world of "no-strings-attached-alcohol-influenced-sex" it doesn't really matter weather or not you have a conscious or if you're butt ugly. Because you're so drunk you can't be sure if what you're flirting with is a person or a lamp post.

So Zack's lack of all things pure and moral didn't effect his chances with a drunk Artemis.

Artemis had removed Zack's crisp oxford shirt and was busy touching the hard chest and stomach when the taller of the two forced Artemis down onto the large dorm bed.

"I don't think I've ever wanted you more." groaned the soccer player, trying to undo the difficult little buckle that kept Artemis's skirt up.

But in his current state - very drunk and so horny he couldn't remember the alphabet - Zack couldn't grasp the technique of slipping the hook out of the other little hook and pulling down the zipper. After five minutes of struggling Artemis stepped in. Stumbling off the mattress, the prodigy unhooked the buckle and let the pleated skirt fall to his black Mary Jane clad feet. The grey fabric pooling around his slim ankles.

"That wasn't so hard was it?" said Artemis, his cool voice slightly slurred from the alcohol.

Zack grunted something and motioned for the genius to come back to bed. Artemis smirked and shook his head. Taking a few steps back. Much to the annoyance of Zack.

"I don't think so. I'm not done yet.". The genius purred, unbuttoning his shirt slowly. Slipping the crisp white fabric off his lean shoulders.

Zack sat up, watching as the foxy little master mind stripped off in front of him.

Another uncharacteristic thing to add to the list. I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you all that Artemis is completely pissed. And while he still retains his vast vocabulary and smarts. Our refined genius loses his normal and characteristic dignity and sense of shame. Instead, he acts like a slutty cheerleader high on sugar and Viagra.

Good thing this all happens at school.

A school a certain bodyguard is forbidden to go near. And when I say good, I mean lucky. Lucky for the other students violating Butlers charge. A charge he is extremely protective over. Because if said bodyguard got wind of the happenings of his employer and his "friends", those friends would be spending a few good months in the hospital tying to get their testicles sewn back on.

When Artemis was standing in front of Zack in all of his naked glory. It only took the soccer player a full five seconds to get the genius lying sprawled on his back. The blond boy was also devoid of clothing. Having tore them off while Artemis was taking off his skirt.

Zack bent over Artemis, smirking down at him.

Artemis smiled sweetly.

"You have pretty hair." said the genius happily, stroking Zack's blond locks.

The soccer player chuckled, leaning down to suck the smooth skin of Artemis's neck.

"Thank you." he trailed his tongue up the sharp jaw and over the Irish boys pink lips. "Now, shall we begin?"

The genius wasn't given any time to answer.

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Another chapter done. Woo! This is very easy to write. Seeing as though it's about nothing and nothing is easy to write. Well... review please!