Ghosts of the Past

-Aboard the Normandy-

The loft still looked the same, minus some small upgrades. Shia'va brushed her long black hair as Mikazuki and Kiyoko settled into the bed. She placed the brush on the desk and sat down with the girls. She could see the look in their eyes, one parent was missing. She frowned slightly and ran her hand through her girls' hair. "I know you both miss your father. But I promise you that everything will be alright. He will be back."

Kiyoko looked up at Shia'va. "Mama? Why are so many people trying to hurt us? What have we done to them? We always try to be nice."

Shia'va leaned down and kissed Kiyoko on the forehead. "You did nothing, sweetheart. You and your sister are the sweetest young ladies Watson has even had. But don't you worry. You daddy and I will take care of everything. I promise." She tucked both girls in and kissed them 'good night'.

The hours had slowly ticked by. Shia'va was lying between Kiyoko and Mikazuki, holding her children close. She had finally dozed off to sleep. But the dream she had was her reliving of the events at the end of the Reaper war.

-Shia'va was wounded, she looked down at the body of the Illusive Man, and then at the Catalyst. Something was wrong about all of this.

"You must choose, Shepard. Will you join synthetics and organics? Will you control us? Or will you destroy all synthetic life, including your own?" The Catalyst looked at her impatiently.

It was the last part that caught her attention. She looked at the walls and noticed that the numbers she was seeing, that she saw before were all wrong. This wasn't actually happening. Harbinger was trying to indoctrinate her. This had become a battle of the mind now. The beam that hit her…she wasn't dead, at least not yet. If she gave in to the first two choices, all organic and synthetic life would end. The Reapers would win. There was only one other choice. She smiled at the Catalyst. "You've lost, Harbinger. The Reapers have lost. Your cycle of destruction will end." She drew her Predator pistol and aimed at the beam generator. Tears fell down her cheeks as she remembered her crew. And remembered her nights with Garrus, the kisses they shared, their love that always grew in even this, her darkest hour. "Garrus, watashi wa itsumo anata o aishite iru yo (Garrus, I'll always love you)." Shia'va pulled the trigger of her pistol. The bullets ripped through the metal of the generator. And soon after, the generator exploded, fire consuming the area. She felt herself consumed by the fire and heard the screams of Harbinger.

It was dark, but not cold. She slowly cracked her eyes open, hearing the muffled shouting of Garrus.

"Shia'va! Hold on, Shia'va! Just hang on a bit longer!" Garrus shouted holding Shepard close. "Spirits please hang on. Dr. Chakwas! OVER HERE!"

Her voice was hoarse. "We…we did it…Garrus…we stopped…"

Could she see clearly, she would have seen the tears falling from Garrus' eyes. "No, you did it, Shepard. You stopped them. You saved us all. Please, don't talk…just hang on, dammit."

Shia'va couldn't move. Her body felt numb. Admiral Anderson and Dr. Chakwas ran over to Shia'va, two medical teams right behind them. All she could hear was muffled chatter. The galaxy was safe…it was safe.-

Shia'va awoke with a start. A hand was running along her head. She looked up to see Garrus. "Oh God…Garrus!" She sat up in bed and threw her arms around him, kissing him on the mandible and then the lips. "Garrus, how did you…? What about your father?"

Garrus smiled at her kisses. "I didn't kill him if that's what you're thinking. But he'll sure as hell wake up with a bad headache."

Mikazuki yawned and rubbed her eyes. "What's going on?"

Kiyoko wasn't far behind. "Mama?"

Both girls saw their father sitting on the bed. Their eyes went wide as they embraced Garrus tightly. "Chichi!" They both shouted in unison.

Garrus held onto his girls tightly. They were still safe. He heard them whisper not to leave again. He kissed both his girls. "Don't worry. I don't plan on going anywhere without you two."

Shia'va looked at the clock, it was 05:00. The girls were both wide awake now and there would be no chance of them falling back to sleep with them excited to have their father back. "Girls, why don't you both get cleaned up for breakfast."

Both the girls nodded and headed off to the bathroom.

Shia'va looked at Garrus. "God I was so worried about you, Garrus. How did you get the Normandy?"

He held Shia'va close. "Your brothers contacted me after you were safely on the Normandy. I contacted Joker and hand him send the shuttle. I'm sorry I sent you and the girls away. But I couldn't take the chance."

Shia'va rested her head on his shoulder. "I know, Garrus." She looked up and started to kiss his mandible again. Garrus reached down and touching her cheek, returned her kisses.

As the two girls came out of the bathroom, Kiyoko rolled her eyes at her two parents kissing. "Geez, mama. You two really need to get a room alone." Mikazuki snickered at her younger sister.

Shia'va and Garrus chuckled. After Shia'va had taken her shower, the family went down to the mess area of the Normandy. Kasumi was there and the girls hugged their aunt. Many of the soldiers there saluted Shia'va. Something in her seemed to break. She looked down. The smile on her face fading quickly. She looked at Garrus. "Garrus…will you…please make sure the girls have breakfast?" She got up from the chair and headed to the port observation lounge. The girls saw Shia'va leave. Kiyoko started to walk after her mother but Kasumi held her back.

"Sweetie, your mom needs to be alone for a few minutes. Trust me, everything will be alright." Kasumi reassured the two girls.

Shia'va stood at the window of the port observation lounge. She covered her mouth as tears flowed down her cheeks, sobbing softly. She felt the arms of her bondmate and lover wrap themselves around her.

Garrus held her close. There was only two times in her life Shia'va ever broke down like this. The soldier saluting her brought back some very old ghosts. He knew better than to say anything. She would speak when she was ready. He watched as she wiped her eyes. He knew she was ready to talk. "What has you so upset, Shia?"

She sniffed. She was silently cursing herself. The great Commander Shepard crying like this, what the hell was wrong with her? She already knew the answer to that. It was something that she had hoped was so forgotten it would never have come to light again. But she had to face it. The only thing giving her strength to was Garrus being with her. "I'm sorry, Garrus. I thought I was over this. But it seems I wasn't. I keep thinking about when the first Normandy was destroyed by the Collectors."

Garrus tightened his hold on her, keeping her close to him. "And when you died."

Shia'va nodded slowly. "I thought I had faced this during my time under house arrest on Earth. After Cerberus brought me back, I…" Tears started to fall again. "I wasn't even sure I was the same Shepard you knew. The same one you love and have children with today. I don't even know if I'm the same anymore."

Garrus turned her around and lifted her chin. "Listen to me, Shia. You were very much the same Shepard. If anything, you came back so much stronger. You never denied your own mortality." He wiped a tear away with a talon. "Before I had thought I lost you a second time after the Reaper War, you seemed at peace. It was over and you were ready to be at peace, whatever that meant. You were never an incomplete copy, Shia. But you were always right to question and fear what happened. No one would have had any right to tell you differently. You're only human, as the saying goes. And you are the most beautiful, loving, and understanding woman in this galaxy." He smiles as he sees her give him a teary smile. "I am proud to have you as my lifemate. And I am damn proud to have two children by you. No one can take that away from you or me."

Shia'va rested her head on his shoulder. He didn't care who she was. Yes, she was Commander Shepard. But to Garrus, she was his life and love, the mother of his children, and the only woman he would spend the rest of his life with. She was just a woman now, and a mother. Not a soldier. And right now, that was more than enough. She didn't have to prove herself anymore. The door to the port observation lounge opened. Mikazuki and Kiyoko stood at the door. Shia'va looked at her children. She knelt down as the two girls walked into their mother's arms. They knew she had been crying. 'This…this is what life is now. The past doesn't matter anymore. This is what my life will always be. And I wouldn't have it any other way.' Shia'va thought to herself.

A/N: A short chapter I know, but something spurned me to put this in. Again I apologize for the delay in posting. Also, I want to let you , my readers know, that I'm posting another story based off a character of mine from Dragon Age: Origins. The story is called Two Worlds, One War. Have a read and I hope you enjoy that story as much as this one.