The Secret Life of St Bartbley Students
Summery: PWP chapter fic. What the title says. Also Artemis in a skirt and is the ah... coughschoolslutcough Don't like, don't read. Simple ne? No Butler, sorry ppl. Just a whole lot of OC's. But don't worry. None of them are girls. :P R&R!
Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis. But I do own Zack, Oliver and Will. Although I'd trade them in for the yummy genius any day.
Pairings: Many. Many.
Warning: SLASH. Lots and lots of slash. It's everywhere! Flamers should cover their virgin eyes. Cross-dressing. And cussing.
Rating: M
Authoress' Greeting: Alright folks. The last chapter was crap. And my less than perfect English skills were more horrible than they normally are. I apologize. A beta would be nice. My other one is swamped with school and work and loads of things. I pitty him greatly.
A WARNING here. For this chapter I had to get some history questions and answers. (I was going to do maths... but... you know) I never went to high school. So I don't know what kind of questions you might be asked. So... if they are wrong or whatever. Just ignore it.
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Chapter 5: A new way to study.
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Artemis closed his lap top with a snap. Looking up at the group of boys he had gathered for a "study group" of sorts. He didn't really like playing teacher. But being the smartest boy in school, he was ordered to teach these mis-fits by the Dean. That fucker. Excuse the language, but he really hated playing teacher.
There where five boys in all. Zack, Oliver and Will. The three boys where expected there, even though they didn't need to attend. But they followed him around like Artemis had them on leashes. Which wasn't a bad idea actually.
The other two where Austin and Seth. Two boys from the Polo club that Artemis rarely concerned himself with and had only slept with once or twice. He liked soccer players more.
Austin was a tall brunette. He had wide shoulders, pretty eyes and liked to gel his hair back. Seth was the shortest of the five boys, but still taller than Artemis. He had blond curls, a good hard body and a pretty face. The model look was ruined when he spoke though. Seth had a some-what, high nasal voice. And a very annoying laugh. Like a donkey.
There where more boys Artemis had to teach. But these five where the first to his door. Zack, because he lived here. And the others because they threatened to beat up anyone who got in front of them. And you know what they say. First in, first served.
Artemis stood up. Walking over to the small seme-circle of boys on his floor. They had been reading a text book Artemis had given them. It was a random book the genius had gotten from the Library. A book on Sikh History (1). They had to learn it, and write an assignment on it.
One of those. A subject of your choice, things. Artemis, not liking the crude suggestions the others where giving him. (eg: The history of oral sex) had taken it upon himself to choose something that was actual history. But because he didn't want to do this in the first place, he'd grabbed the first book he'd seen on the shelf and forced his "students" to read it.
"Alright. Reading time is over. Give me the book." he said, hold his hand out.
Seth wrestled the heavy tome out of Olivers grip and handed it to the genius with a charming smile. Artemis took it with a scowl and threw it onto his bed. Having memorized the entire library stock when he'd first started at the school. Artemis didn't think he needed the book as reference.
"Mrs Wonton has informed me that I have to help you lot learn your subjects. Seeing as you all seem keen on copying what's in the book and pretending it's your own words." he glared at them.
Four of the five boys smiled sheepishly at him. Austin though, puffed himself up. Looking offended.
"I have never copied anything in my life. All my work is my own." he said.
Oliver punched him in the arm. Artemis ignored the boast and carried on.
"I hope you all were really reading that chapter and not day dreaming. Because I'm going to test you on it. Asking you all questions.".
There where groans and the five boys slumped in a display of boredom and annoyance. Studying was so not cool. Artemis tutted and smiled at them. And they all perked up. Each knowing what that smile meant. The genius pulled the ribbon out of his hair and ruffled the black curls a bit.
"I understand that you don't like being tested or studying for that matter. But I'm going to make this fun for you." he said, scooting backward until his behind came in contact with the bottom of Zack's bed.
Said blond cocked his head to one side.
"And how are you going to make it fun for us my lovely?"
Artemis loosened his tie.
"Each time you get an answer right. I'll take off one item of clothing." he said, perky smile still in place. "And if you get a question wrong. I put an item back on." (2)
With this new info. Five pairs of eyes locked onto the small figure and Artemis was pleased to see they where actually paying attention. But that pride went out the window when the Irish boy realized the only reason they where being good students was because he was going to strip for them.
"First question." he started, and the five sat up straight. "Oliver. What is the year length of the Nanakshahi Calendar ?"
Oliver fidgeted. The others watching closely.
"The Nanakshahi Calendar contains 5 months of 31 days followed by 7 months of 30 days. During the leap year (every 4 years), the last month... (Phagun) has an extra day." he said, looking up hopefully.
Artemis took off his tie. Putting it neatly on the bed behind him.
"Seth. When did the massacre at Jallianwaala Baagh occur ?"
"April 13, 1919 A.D." said the boy without hesitation.
Artemis smiled and started to undo the buttons of his shirt. Taking it off smoothly and letting it drop to the carpet.
"What is a 'Vaar' ?. Zack."
Zack opened his mouth. He paused, cursing himself for getting a hard question. He sighed and shrugged. Artemis put the shirt back on. The others glared at the blond.
"Nice going dumb ass." scowled Austin.
Artemis rounded on him.
"Austin. Name the six forts of Anandpur."
"Uh... Anandgarh. Lohgarh Fatehgarh. Holgarh. Kesgarh... and ah..."
"Zack. You name the six forts of Anandpur." said the genius.
"Anandgarh. Lohgarh Fatehgarh. Holgarh. Kesgarh and... Nirmohgarh?." said the blond hopefully.
Artemis smiled and took his shirt back off. Zack shot a smug smirk at Austin. Who glared and crossed his arms.
"William." started Artemis, looking at the red head. Who looked as though he was going to war, rather than answering a history question. "According to the index of Ragas at the end of Guru Granth Saheb Ji, what is the total number of Ragas and Raginis?"
"Uh... eighty... four?"
Artemis reached down and took off his skirt. Stepping out of the crumpled grey heap and smiling at the slobbering mass of male testosterone on the floor.
"Oliver. When was Bhagat Trilochan born ?"
"1267 AD." he said, smiling widely as Artemis kicked off his shoes.
"At the battle of Anandpur, who cut off the head of Raja Kesari Chand? Seth."
"It was... Bhai Ude Singh."
"Correct." said the genius, leaning against the bed to take off one black stocking. Seth had a few moments of privet victory before Artemis moved onto Zack.
"How large a force did Sardar Baghel Singh leave at Delhi?"
Zack lounged back.
"Pretty large. 30, 000 men."
Artemis smiled. Taking off the other stocking. Now only left in his underwear. All of the boys where ogling the genius openly. Almost drooling.
"Will. When did Maharaja Ranjit Singh annex Amritsar?"
All eyes where on the red head as chewed on his bottom lip. Artemis slipped his fingers inside the waistband of his knickers. Preparing to pull them down.
"1830?"
Artemis put his shirt back on. Will got onto his knees.
"No no! 1805!"
"Wrong." said the prodigy, pulling up his skirt. The others groaning in disappointment. Will tried again. Getting desperate.
"18... 1818?"
"Nope." On went the tie.
"1803!... No no! 04?"
And the stockings.
"Whoever can answer that question. I'll sleep with them right now." he said.
"1824!"
"No! It was 1702!"
"Don't be an idiot. It was 1800."
"1802 AD."
Artemis pointed to Oliver.
"Correct!"
Oliver whooped. Standing up and scooping the genius into his arms.
"See ya losers." he cackled. Putting the genius back down and leading him out the door so quickly, he was almost dragging the smaller boy.
As the door slammed shut. Austin turned to Will.
"You are such an asshole."
"Shut up."
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(1) It was the only thing on the internet that had test questions and answers for me to copy.
(2) Ever seen Billy Madison with Adam Sandler? His girlfriend (I think she's the Forth Grade teacher or something) does the same thing for him when he's studying for like... the big test in high school.
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Ending Note: Two chapters in two days! I've never done that before. I hope you liked it. I whipped this up this morning. Review and tell me nice things. Flamers should be locked up in a room and insulted for an hour.