A/N: Well I was going to have this posted before Christmas, however I lost track of my writing in favor of other things, namely family and buying presents and this lay forgotten on my laptop. However I like it and I don't care that it isn't Christmas anymore, it's July now and you know the Christmas in July thing, well... what perfect timing! I'm posting it dammit! I got this idea from a Stan/Kyle fic, where Stan picks some Mistletoe and Kyle comments.
A few things to note before scrolling down to read the actual story.
1) I live in Australia, which means its summer during Christmas, so the school holidays are different from over seas, seeing as this is the start of the "Summer Holiday's".
2) I know a few things about Mistletoe, one thing I do not know and cannot find out because the internet has a virus, is where it's normally found...
So with these two things in mind, cut me some slack, correct me if you know the right answers and enjoy the fic.
MERRY CHRISTMAS (in July) OR WHATEVER YOU CELEBRATE!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl, nor do I own the modified quote on Mistletoe Artemis uses.
--
It was the last few days before Christmas Break and there was a buzz through out the school. Artemis Fowl the Second wasn't one to gossip, however he did enjoy knowing anything about everything, so naturally he wanted to find out what had gotten everyone so excited.
Artemis had asked the first boy he came across, a brunet named Martin. Personally he'd never slept with Martin and didn't associate himself with the boy's particular "posse"; however he did as mentioned before, like to know everything, which included names. The genius knew every name of every student, their full name, as well as personal details.
"Oh, some students found a huge batch of Mistletoe out near the back of the school grounds."
Martin stared down at him as the genius contemplated whether this new bit of information was really worth such excitement. While this inner debate was going on, Martin came to a decision of his own, which was that while Artemis' attention was focused elsewhere, he'd steal a little feel. Sidling closer to oblivious boy, the taller brunet reached down to roughly grip the genius' ass through his school dress.
It would be an understatement to say that Artemis was not amused; however he was used to people just touching him for no apparent reason, and being a Fowl he possessed the ability to keep his face neutral, whatever the situation.
"Thank you for telling me Martin, now please remove your hand before I call Zack to remove it for you."
Although voiced in tones of aristocratic elegance, Martin's hand removed itself immediately and relocated to the boy's trouser pocket.
"Sorry Artemis, I'll never do it again." hurried the boy, almost sweating at the politely voiced threat, the students had seen what Zack, and a handful of the soccer team had done to a senior who had refused to take no for an answer.
Artemis nodded and shooed the boy away, watching as he disappeared around the corner. It was then, as the genius decided to hunt down more answers to the Mistletoe buzz; that a pair of arms curled around his waist, pulling him back against a hard body.
"Scaring students again?"
Artemis recognized the purr and turned around in the embrace, looking up at the leering face of Oliver. The dark skinned boy was in his uniform, though his normally spotless and crisp shirt was rumpled and smudged with dirt. His jumper and coat where missing, sleeves rolled up, tie loosened, and were those leaves and twigs in his hair? Oliver looked like he'd been rolling around in the rose garden near the school's entrance.
"What happened to you?" asked the genius, trying to push himself away from his dirty lover, Oliver only tightened his grip, leaning down to nuzzle Artemis' jaw.
"I tried to get some Mistletoe, but kinda lost my footing on a branch and fell. Then Zack apparently felt the need to use my body as a step ladder to reach a higher branch. Hence the dirt and grass stains."
"I see." answered Artemis, still trying to shove Oliver away.
"Want to come and help?" asked the taller boy, ignoring the weak little pushes to his chest.
"Is that why you are here now?"
Oliver nodded.
"Yep."
Artemis wasn't really given much of a chance to make any sort of decision, as Oliver had already started to pull him down the hall, though he still felt the need to voice his opinion.
"Alright, I do want to see what all of the fuss is about."
--
There was a large bunch of Mistletoe near the middle of one of the pines, and underneath the tree was an even larger gaggle of boys, all talking over eachother and staring up at the plant.
"Here we are." said Oliver as the pair arrived, stating the obvious.
Artemis scoffed, shaking his head; they all looked like a bunch of dogs staring at a cat. Zack spun around on his heel as they approached, he too was filthy, his uniform in no better condition than Oliver's, blond hair tussled, dirty smears on his tanned cheeks, the dark navy jumper was covered in twigs and snow. He also looked ridiculously happy.
"Artemis look, mistletoe!"
Artemis speared a bored glance up at the plant, then down at the blond boy, who was shaking like a spastic puppy.
"So?"
Zack blanched, walking over to Artemis to place his hands on narrow shoulders.
"So? Babe it's mistletoe!"
"The school has already put up pieces in the archways of the dorms and classroom buildings, so I am confused as to why this (here he pointed to the tree) is so important."
All students around him stared at the genius as if the crossdresser had sprouted wings and a second head, because honestly, who wouldn't be excited about finding real Mistletoe?
"You know about the Mistletoe tradition in this ever joyful holiday season?" asked Zack, actually sounding quite serious, it was insulting.
Artemis shook the hands off, dusting dirt and snow off his school coat*.
"Yes, I am well aware of the tradition of kissing under Mistletoe, however, as there is plenty of it already around the school, it escapes me as to why you need more."
Zack shrugged, one of the only ones still listening, the rest of the boys had already gone back to trying to tear bunches from the tree.
"Because the real stuff is better than the plastic crap the school keeps?"
Artemis turned to Will, who had seemingly appeared out of thin air to stand beside Zack. The redhead was perfectly clean, so Artemis supposed he hadn't tried to climb. Oliver made a noise of agreement from behind him and Zack nodded enthusiastically. Seeing as he wasn't about to make them see sense, Artemis gave up arguing and decided to just let them get the stuff.
"Alright, do whatever you want."
That made them happy; he got a kiss on the cheek from all three, and then watched as they crowded around the base of the pine, yelling words of encouragement to the boys up the tree.
"There is quite a lot of it isn't there." said the genius after a moment, looking thoughtfully at the Mistletoe.
Zack looked over his shoulder, grinning.
"Yeah, loads of it."
"It's too bad really."
A few more people looked at him, confused. Artemis continued,
"Mistletoe is a parasitic plant, a weed really, which means that with it growing in such large quantities, it will kill the tree. This is a shame, because it's such a lovely pine."
Zack snorted and rolled his eyes, turning back to the task at hand. Trust Artemis to come out with something like that, he didn't know a time when the genius was actually into the Christmas Spirit. He often wondered what he was like on Christmas morning, probably slept in.
"Yeah well, we're doing the tree a favor then, cutting it off."
"You'd need to remove all of it, which I doubt you will."
"I'll tell the gardener's about it, if it's that important to you." answered the blond, reaching up to take some Mistletoe as it was handed to him.
Artemis didn't answer, only watched the students as they received their little bounty of weeds and berries. He also noticed many of them weren't wearing gloves, his Trio included. Everyone had a handful of Mistletoe, all handling their share carefully so as to not crush the berries. Zack walked up to him, holding a small bunch of the plant out to the genius.
"Here you go sweetness."
Artemis took the weed into his cupped, gloved hands; studying the leaves and berries like he would pile of dirt. Zack was starting to think that he could be a little happier, when a smile stretched the genius' pink lips and he said smugly:
"Touching the berries will give you a rash, just like poison ivy. If you're sensitive to it of course, which most people are; so handling them with bare hands probably isn't a good idea."
Everyone dropped their Mistletoe like it had caught fire.
--
It was a few days later (after the swelling had gone down and the rashes faded) that the subject of mistletoe was broached once again; this time when a bunch of it was held over his head one afternoon in one of the dorms social rooms.
The eldest Fowl son had been reading when he was interrupted by the feeling of someone coming up to stand behind his chair. Trying to ignore whoever it was, the genius focused on the scientific journal he had been skimming through. The person cleared their throat in a bid for attention and Artemis felt something small hit the top of his head and bounce of to land on the open book propped up on his lap; the genius stared at it.
It was a small, round, dark red berry.
Narrowing his blue eyes and lowering the book to lie pages up on his lap, the crossdresser reached down and flicked the berry onto the floor, before crushing it with his shoe, grounding it into the lush carpet for good measure. Not honestly caring if it left a mark. Once satisfied that the berry was permanently ingrained into the carpet, the genius looked up to see where it had come from, though he already had a good idea.
Someone was holding a small bundle of mistletoe over his head, real mistletoe at that. They were wisely wearing gloves, obviously to prevent another incident like the other day. The genius looked at the weed for a moment, before lowering his eyes back down to his book.
"Go away Zachary."
For it was the blond, Artemis would recognize that cologne anywhere, he bought it for the boy after all. Zack, in his typical manner, ignored the genius' request and did not remove the mistletoe from Artemis' personal space bubble. Instead he moved around to stand in front of the shorter boy, lowering himself to squat at the Irish teenager's feet.
"I can't do that I'm afraid." said the athlete easily, his arm was raised, with the mistletoe clasped firmly in his hand, though it wasn't high enough anymore to hover over Artemis' head, so it was now eye level with the genius.
Sparing a glare for the toxic little plant, Artemis looked down at his lover.
"And why can't you?"
"Because I am going to put a little Christmas cheer into your icy little heart, scrooge." Zack smirked as his comment sparked the desired effect in the little genius.
Artemis, outraged at being called "scrooge", snapped his book shut and sprang to his feet, Zack rising as well. The genius opened his mouth to give the smug blood fool a piece of his mind, when said blond fool took advantage of the "opening" and cupping the back of Artemis' neck, dove in for a kiss. Any and all insults the Irish teen had ready died in his throat as he surrendered almost immediately into the kiss.
Zack ended the kiss** after a moment, letting his lips linger against the genius', before pulling away to stare down at cross face of his obsession. Artemis, while not looking too mad anymore, was obviously not pleased with how quickly the kiss had ended. After all, Zack normally went on for longer than that and what he'd just been given was certainly not one of the blond's normal kisses. Licking his lips and enjoying the way the athlete's attention was drawn there for the second his tongue was visible, before the hazel eyes redirected themselves back to meet the genius' blue ones, Artemis crossed his arms.
"What did you do that for? And why did you stop?"
Zack merely smirked in that infuriatingly smug way that was also infuriatingly attractive, and propped the hand that held the mistletoe on his hip.
"Why, I kissed you underneath the mistletoe, and I stopped because said plant is no longer over our heads. After all you can only kiss while you are underneath it, you know."
Artemis gaped at him, Zack smiled brightly back. They stayed that way for a moment, before the genius lunged forward and grabbed the blond's wrist, forcing it back over his head, the mistletoe going with it. Once certain the weed was once again dangling over them, Artemis looked back at Zack expectantly.
The blond chuckled, Artemis could be so fucking adorable sometimes, before leaning forward to claim the genius' mouth again, this time though, he felt slender arms wrap around his neck to keep him in place.
Standing behind them, cheerfully watching the display was Oliver, with Will behind him, both boys each held their own bundle of mistletoe. Oliver smiled, lifting the bit of plant above his head.
"I'm next!"
--
* Because she lives in Australia, ArtysSexKitten does forget that in the Northern Hemisphere, it is winter during Christmas time. She has also never been to the snow, Australia isn't known for its cold and snowy winters.
** I think I've said "kiss" too much there... oh well.
I actually wanted this to be more "lemony", but it obviously didn't turn out that way. Oh well... maybe next time. I actually wanted to post that Post School thing, when I received such a nice reaction to the "preview", however, due to the many comments and questions about weather or not I'm ending this fic, I thought I'd post a normal school chapter to calm your little worries. I honestly have no intention of ending this fic anytime soon, though ideas about future chapters would be very helpful. Perhaps ideas for a chapter centered on Oliver or Will? As many of you want to see them in the spot light for a change.
This chapter was dedicated to ArtemisXButler for bringing my review count over 200. I LOVE YOU!!!