Hi folks!

First up, a quick note to Imascaper. Thanks so much for the lovely PM you sent. I would have replied directly but when I tried I got a message that your PM's were disabled. So I'm saying it here instead – thanks! :o)

In an example of art imitating life (or maybe life imitating art) I actually wrote a good portion of this chapter while at a riding stable. I have been driving a friend there so she can ride her horse every day and the time that I sit and wait for her to finish is often the only time I've had in a week to work on this story. As I'm still working upwards of 14 hrs most days.

In fact one night we had a bit of excitement as one of the other students came off her horse and, though she was wearing a helmet, she gave her noggin a good enough bang to start losing consciousness on us. Which meant that yours truly had to call the ambulance, help get the horse put away, direct the EMTs into the stable area, etc – I felt kinda like how Gibbs must feel, running everything behind the scenes as the riding instructor couldn't leave the young lady's side.

Adventurous to say the least and now that all is well (turns out she may have fainted due to the shock more than anything else), it turned out to be also quite inspirational. LOL.

Thanks as always for your patience, as well as the reviews, PM's etc. :o)

And now back to the story…

Chapter Fifteen

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Unfortunately for Tony, the fever had found the key.

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Back at his post near Tony's head for a while (after obediently following Comanche's order to return his agent's side), Gibbs heard the first stirrings when the man started regaining consciousness, such as it was. The team leader watched with concern as his partner groaned and put his hands to chest, rubbing absently.

"DiNozzo?" Gibbs inquired softly.

Hearing the worried tone in his boss' voice, Tony tried to say something reassuring to let Gibbs know he was fine, but without warning his body betrayed him.

The pain that Tony had barely managed to keep under control suddenly flared up again. Incredibly, unbelievably, it was worse than ever before, coming in the form of pressure in his chest. The muscles spasms had been awful, terrible things but as the chest pains made themselves known, Tony began wishing for the spasms to return instead. Every time he tried to take a breath, it felt like a freight train was trying to barrel into his sternum, taking away the air before it reached his lungs.

With this new pain also came something that hadn't been there earlier – fear, and lots of it. Before, Tony had almost been able to stand the feeling of his muscles tearing him apart literally limb from limb. Not being able to take a full breath was a lot more devious and when it reminded him of lying in a room of blue, he felt his breath shortening even more, panic seeping in as he wondered briefly if this was how he was going to die – struggling for oxygen with nothing stopping it from getting to him except for his own body.

As the seconds wore on and he had to fight harder and harder to breathe, Tony began to think that maybe death wasn't such a bad option. At least then the pain would be over. At least then he wouldn't have to bite his tongue to keep from screaming.

"Tony, what's….," Gibbs began, unsure what exactly was going on, but not missing the fact that something had definitely changed in the other man's condition.

"Boss… I can't," Tony's voice was desperate, his eyes practically rolling back into his head with pain.

Earlier Gibbs had gotten Tony to admit he was in pain, to trust him enough to not hide it. Now, as the team leader saw very clearly how much his partner was suffering, he wondered if that had been a mistake. Telling Tony to let it all out had been relatively easy - the results were much harder to watch.

Gibbs watched Tony struggle, helpless as to what to do next to assuage the pain clearly evident in the other man's face. The senior agent had seen that look before, had heard that desperation in someone's voice before and it worried him.

It took him back to the night Kelly was born. Shannon had decided to go completely natural and Gibbs had been amazed just how strong his wife had been that night. The only time things had gotten rough, when she'd nearly lost her nerve, was late in labor when the pains came more and more often, each one stronger than the last. She'd grabbed on to him desperately, a look of pure fear in her eyes that he'd never seen there before.

On the drive to the hospital Shannon had told him that he would have to be strong for her, even if she wavered. She had ordered him to keep it together and help her do the same, wanting badly to accomplish that type of birth for their child.

Near the end, Gibbs had come very near to breaking that promise, unable to watch his wife in so much pain. But he remembered his pledge and helped her to focus. He held her hands, looked in to her eyes and told her to look at him, only him, and breathe. After a few minutes, she got her concentration back and not long after, Kelly was born.

Once their daughter was sleeping peacefully in her mother's arms and Shannon was comfortable, his wife had softly thanked him for his help. She'd never have been able to get through it without him, she said. Gibbs hadn't felt very helpful, in fact the whole time he'd wanted to call it quits and demand the damn drugs for her himself. But he had done what he had to do.

Looking at the younger man writhing beneath him, Gibbs didn't know if he had it in him to do it again. He didn't know if he could walk another person through that much agony and bring them out the other side with their sanity (and his) intact. The difference now of course was that Gibbs didn't have an entire medical staff and a plethora of drugs to fall back on. With Shannon he'd known that if things had gotten really bad, if she had told him that enough was enough, all he had to do was say the word and people much more trained than he would have taken over.

He didn't have such a luxury with DiNozzo. Right now it was just the two of them. No hospital, no doctors and definitely no drugs. The only way DiNozzo was going to survive this thing was with his help. So Gibbs did what he always did, he swallowed the fear and did what he had to do.

"Hey," Gibbs said. Noting how Tony's eyes went unfocused, he took hold of the younger man's arm and gave it a squeeze. "Hey, listen to me."

Tony blinked and then slowly his eyes settled onto Gibbs. The ex-Marine almost lost his resolve when he saw the pain in them, but went on anyway.

"You can do this, DiNozzo. You hear me? You WILL get through this."

Tony's face pinched and he gasped as a new wave hit him, once again reminding Gibbs of Shannon.

" I can't….I can't…Boss…..please…," Tony's voice pleaded.

What Tony thought he could do for him, what exactly he was begging for, Gibbs didn't know. That didn't stop the pang of guilt he felt when he had nothing to offer in response to the plea.

It was the fever, the sickness…..the stupid virus, talking on Tony's behalf. Gibbs knew that. Tony never begged for anything in his life…..well, except maybe for the last donut in the office.

The team leader would have given anything right then to change places with his partner, anything in the world to take the agony on to himself, but he couldn't.

It wasn't that Gibbs thought his Senior Field Agent couldn't take the pain. Hell, Tony had survived the plague. If anyone could take it, it would be Tony. It was just a part of Gibbs' nature to protect his people. It was easier to do that than to observe, powerless, as they suffered. He'd always choose being hurt himself over seeing one of his team hurt.

If some scumbag was hurting Tony, Gibbs would have made himself feel better knowing he could wrap his hands around their neck and make them pay. Or he would have talked enough to get their attention off of Tony and onto him, make them hurt him instead. Trouble was you couldn't do either of those things with a bug. You couldn't threaten it or hurt it, you could either treat it with proper medication or you could do what he was doing right then, help the other person through it the best way you knew how.

"Not going anywhere Bubba, just hang with me," Gibbs said softly, using an old nickname he'd once given the younger man when they'd first started working together.

Tony continued to thrash below him, unable to control a body wracked by so much pain that it moved of its own accord. The chest pains eased a little but now the muscle aches had returned with a vengeance. Every time Tony lay still for even a few seconds, his limbs ached and screamed at him. Again he felt the urge to move his body in that same rhythmic motion he had before. Only this time he couldn't stop, not even when he knew that what he was doing was making things worse - forcing his lungs to work harder than they needed, making the pressure on his chest worse, upping his temperature and deepening the fever-induced dehydration that was already sapping him of everything he had.

"Look at me, Tony," Gibbs said, knowing he had to get Tony to stop.

Tony heard his boss' words, but he couldn't comply.

"C'mon, DiNozzo, look at me," Gibbs tried again, attempting to pierce through the haze and get through to his partner. When he still got no response, Gibbs reached forward, cupping Tony's chin in his hand to still the rhythmic rocking. Covered in sweat, Tony's skin slipped from his fingers and he cursed. Taking a deep breath, Gibbs tried again, speaking in a soft but firm tone.

"Agent DiNozzo. Give. Me. Your. Eyes."

Somehow that got through the fog and Tony felt compelled to look up at his boss. The pain Gibbs saw staring back at him from those green orbs made him momentarily regret the order.

"You need to breathe," Gibbs demonstrated, taking a deep breath through his nose and blowing it slowly out of his mouth.

Tony tried to pull away again, moaning in protest and mumbling that he couldn't. But Gibbs held him firmly, not breaking eye contact.

"C'mon DiNozzo, with me," again Gibbs took a deep breath, this time waiting for Tony to follow suit.

The ailing man was panting uncontrollably, but unable to defy the order that came from his boss' lips as well as the one echoed in his eyes, Tony tried. Swallowing hard, he slowly attempted to pull one steady breath in through his nose.

"Good Tony," Gibbs encouraged. "Now out…..slowly," once again he pursed his own lips and blew.

Shaking from the effort to exert control on his rebellious body, Tony gradually let out the air in his lungs. The result was surprising - as the breath left his body, he felt a tiny bit of pain go with it. Not a ton, not enough to make him want to get up and dance a jig, but the relief was sufficient to make him want to try again.

Sensing it was working by the slight relaxation he saw in the other man's face, Gibbs let go of Tony but kept their eyes locked.

"Again, Tony. "

After a few minutes of this, the pain eased enough for Tony's exhausted body to give out and he fell asleep again for a little while.

Gibbs hoped that was the end of it but all too soon, his partner stirred and began speaking softly.

"Boss, can we go home now? I really want to go home now….," Tony mumbled and before Gibbs could stop him, the other man was trying to get up, to move away from the agony. His mind wasn't aware enough to know that no matter where he went, the pain would follow him, nipping at his heels like a rabid dog. In his haze, Tony mistakenly thought he could escape it, that he could walk away and he would leave it lying there behind him in on the blanket.

Moving quickly, Gibbs managed to stop the agent before he got into the fire and gently pushed him back to his makeshift bed. He had thought, stupidly thought, that once DiNozzo lost consciousness it would be better. Surely the blissfulness of sleep would take him and that would be it; that he would sleep through the worst of it.

But now he could see that the battle was far from over. The fever was kicking in with a vengeance. With its new strength it also found a voice. Using the ill man under its power, the sickness spoke to Gibbs. Spoke things that the older man knew Tony would never say in his right mind.

"Boss, I'm scared…I don't want to be scared…..but I'm like…really scared….. I know that's bad… I know that I shouldn't…"

"Hey DiNozzo," Gibbs waited until Tony's eyes were on him. "You don't worry about being scared. Hell, I'd be worried if you weren't scared. Being scared just means you're not ready to give up. So go ahead and be scared if you want, I don't give a rat's ass, you hear me?"

"But Boss…..what if this is it?... What if…I've had all my…almosts? ….What if I'm all out?"

Gibbs bit back the scathing comment he wanted to say to that. He had to remember that this wasn't really Tony talking.

"Listen up DiNozzo…'Courage is being scared to death – and saddling up anyway'. You know who said that?"

Tony shook his head.

"John Wayne. "

Tony relaxed then, his eyes drooping as he dropped off again. But Gibbs knew they were both in for a long night and if….no, when - Gibbs reminded himself to not think anything but positively, even in his own mind – Tony got through it Gibbs knew he would have to forget pretty much whatever Tony said to him this night.

Gibb couldn't trust anything that came out of his Senior Field Agent's mouth now because anything the other man said was bound to be suspect; any of it being things that Tony had kept locked away, possibly his entire life - locked behind a door that was never meant to be opened.

Unfortunately for Tony, the fever had found the key.

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Thanks to all for reading! We've got maybe one more chapter with Tony and Gibbs alone and then I promise all will start coming right. These bits with Tony and Gibbs in the cave are the parts that have been written for this story almost from the moment it first came to me. I thought of cutting most of it down but decided against it as I really like it all.

I pretty much have the ending worked out too, which means that we're just a few chapters away from being done with this one! Thanks everyone for sticking with it and to my anonymous reviewer who said they'd given up on this story because it was taking too long I can only say that I never expected my life to go the way it is now. Though nor will I spend too much time apologizing for it as I'm quite happy where I've ended up. Fanfiction turned me into a full-time writer who is sometimes too busy to write fanfiction (as those who follow me on Facebook can attest, having seen my updates at all hours of the day/night). The irony isn't lost on me but I will do better in the future, even if by "better" I just mean not promising any sort of deadlines and making it known ahead of time of what a crazy schedule I have. LOL.