PLEASE READ THIS WARNING: I do not own, Rio, Blu, Jewel, or any other related character. I own the plot and OCs in this story, but all other characters and related themes are owned by Blue Sky Films and 20th Century Fox.

Ok... ok I know I have a SERIOUS lot of explanation to do. Paradise turned out to be not as good as I expected, and this chapter came out as slow as hell (not to mention my computer had crashed some time ago so...), but my exams had been over and done with and my update is really, really, REALLY late. X( I feel so sorry everyone; I hope you can forgive me...

Anyway, this whole chapter is going to feel very fragmented, just to warn you. I wrote some of this months ago, some weeks ago, but there were many breaks in between and all. X( I'm just so sorry... I really am. Gah.

To all my faithful reviewers: I'm once again very sorry for the late update. I know you all have been very patient and all, so I appreciate that a lot. I'm sorry about that last bit; it was supposed to come off more dramatic than comedic. And so my inspiration for the first bit vanished quite a fair bit. :/ Never mind; I hope you all enjoy this. :) Really, I tried. xS

Anyway, let's just roll with it. I'm sorry, once again, for all that trouble you guys had to go through to get this chapter! xS

~Blu~

I remember watching this one Asian drama [of which their quality is almost like soap operas, for the record- horrendous] and this one girl whose menses was late. Fearing the worst she bought as many pregnancy thermometers as she could –since science always knocks our heads to reminds us of trial and error, the flaws found in human and the environment- and after mustering whatever little strength she could, she tested herself. Surprise, surprise- she was pregnant. Even after ravaging through her $100 worth of thermometers, she found the same result. Positive, positive, positive, over and over. She refused to believe it, but it was true- science could prove it. Logical facts have that kind of thing to strike you and snap you out of your fantasies.

Most of the rest is predictable- she had to convey this to her boyfriend [and frankly, I wouldn't want to copulate with either of them, regardless of whatever gender I would be] and he wanted her to abort it. Of course, as a future mother she wished to keep the baby and had dreams- dreams to share a family with her boyfriend and watch her child grow as the years flew by- and she refused such a request. Long story short, they broke up, the girl now treated the child like a bad memento of their love, and she had it aborted. And from that point onwards I never looked at my Chinese takeout meals the same way ever again.

I must admit, though, no matter how melodramatic the Asian shows may be, they are almost too accurate in depicting life and the way pregnancy works, always turning the tables against you to render you helpless to what life gives you. Not to mention the fleshy dust of your heart's shattered remnants scattered over the floor, and of course the significance of life in life's eyes but the disregard of it in others.

When you meet a person like Jewel and your life is settled, your love for her an self-inconsumable fire, you often dream of a family to share with her and children to raise and hear them call you 'Papa' and 'Mama'. When you're 16 and unmarried this might not be the case, but after just one time of giving in to temptation and releasing your hormonal emotions, more often than not girls that age become pregnant, sending your world plunging into absolute depression. When you're 16 and the mate of another bird, these dreams and desires harbour in your heart, and as much as you wish for them to come true and fulfil your life, this very last step is galaxies apart. That's how life operates- if something is a man's poison it is handed over like a freebie, and if something is a man's meat it is miles away to the point where it is almost inaccessible.

Let us solve this problem through philosophical means, shall we? Jewel would be ecstatic should she be pregnant with mine and her child, the final jigsaw piece of her life fixed into position with the love of her life. However, Jewel is not pregnant. Thus she would not be happy.

The moment I learnt of this, the grief was overwhelming. I was rendered speechless [after all, how could you punch at an intangible force of life if indignation dominated over you?] and I was completely helpless- what would you do if you prepared for something so exhilarating only for some twist of fate to completely thwart everything you had laid down and completely bulldoze all of your hopes and dreams down in a flash? But I could overcome this eventually. 'Eventually' had meant almost a whole geologic age in my mentality, but logic, more often than not, triumphs motion. After all, this wasn't very serious. This did not mean anything- we had only copulated twice, after all- and obviously Jewel could get pregnant another time. This was practicality at its work.

In Jewel, however, emotion would have overcome this, drowning her in sorrow without logic to triumph over this.

I could picture Jewel's face right now- if I experienced such crushing sorrow for having overcome whatever phobia I possessed regarding family, what about Jewel? She must have been traumatised, the world shaken beneath her feet… life had a way that mislead you into the mere thought that your fantasies would come into reality and revealing itself to be a mere hallucination and a mirage of the mind at the eleventh hour. Should you refer to this in a metaphorical sense, it was equivalent to having the love of your life finally be romantically engaged with you, with your and her life paved out before the both of you before she woke up one day and told you she didn't love you anymore. It ripped your soul into shreds- no mate ever wished to see his loved one torn apart like paper, but it was a mental image that haunted me.

The moment I was allowed to be with my mate, I feared what her reaction would be- would she attack me mercilessly, hurling every ounce of blame on my already weary shoulders? Would she burst into tears and sob into my chest, releasing the floodgates of sorrow onto me? Would she prance around in joy of the false alarm of pregnancy and abruptly changing her stance on this matter? Life, after all, is unpredictable- such a thing suddenly didn't seem farfetched any longer.

I saw an azure patch perched on the tabletop of the clinic, her back towards the door as she gazed outside the window. Her expression was hidden from me, as if she refused to admit me to take a gander at it, or to even look at me. The guilt sluggishly seeped into me- what have I done? Heaven can testify that I did no wrong or committed any sin…

I took to the sky momentarily before landing myself next to my love, and I peered into her expression. She wore an unemotional mask, a poker face that absolutely perplexed me. There was no distinct ecstasy or melancholy or infuriation, but rather a blank sheet that spoke nothing, unreadable. Her eyes remained fixated at the transparent screen, not a single word emerging from her beak.

"Jewel…" I muttered, attempting to trigger a response, even just a turn of the head would suffice. It killed me, the silence that lingered between us and her stillness, as if she were a lifeless statue… it was insufferable, and it was tearing my mentality apart.

Her eyes never shifted away, for some peculiar reason. I stared outside the window- the field of vision consisted of mostly a grassy patch of a front lawn, as well as a narrow street. Outside the clinic a teenage boy –about the same age but different identity as Fernando- and girl, possibly in a dating relationship, and they exchanged rather outraged faces, their mouths moving in sharp Portuguese lingo and their arms swinging madly. Such a heated argument could be stemming from just about any situation, but Jewel's conjecture was similar to mine. The Asian drama…

"How come," Jewel finally said, breaking what could have been a whole millennium of silence, the first words from emerging from a coma. "How come the odds are that if you're unmarried and desperate to not get pregnant, you will… but if you're married and want to get pregnant, you won't …"

I sighed, draping my wing over Jewel in an attempt to comfort her. "Jewel… it… it's not the end of the world…"

"Blu," Jewel said in an abruptly firm tone, her solid sapphire eyes boring into me. It would have been considered angry if her tone disguised this, accusing even, and it sent me into a shock. "Millions of people can be impregnated on their first try. And here I am, fooled by my own body and the possibility of either of us being infertile… the end may not be now, but another time."

I was frozen in position. Many people might not take this type of things too gravely- such a time can arrive anytime, and I have heard of humans whose number of offspring amount to double-digits (not to mention birds). It is not an uncommon phenomenon, and would come in time, especially if our relationship is more intimate than is necessary. Additionally the chances of us being infertile –I have not even heard such an illness to strike birds- are extremely slim. The fact is, many people might think that my mate was exaggerating by getting severely agitated about such a situation. The strangest thing was this- I didn't blame her any bit.

The fact is, however, I had to help her to overcome this hurdle. It might seem simple at first glance, but for somebody whose heart is burdened, it no longer becomes as easy as it sounds.

"Jewel," I started. I was never an eloquent bird and I was treading on a mine field now- one wrong move and it's all over. I remembered what Rafael said to me the other time- never think with your head, think with your heart. Do as your heart tells you to… not what logic commands. "I… I love you."

Her expression now turned perplexed. "What?"

"I love you. And I know you want children, and that time will come. But…" -my tongue made a quick swipe over my beak- "I want you to know that you have me. And… I want you to know that as long as you have me… I'll make you happy. I promise."

"But Blu-"

"Not a word, my love," I intercepted, using my other wing to hush her. "I will make you happy. And if giving you children is what it takes to do that, then I'll do it. Hell, I'll probably become horny just to boost the chances!" I laughed at my own ludicrousness- obviously this is something I would evade completely, but I caught the flicker of a smile on Jewel's face. And that was all I needed.

"I love you, Jewel," I said, my eyes boring deeply and lovingly in Jewel's, my wings on her shoulders. "And I swear that as long as I live I will always be right next to you. All I need is you to be happy… just having you brings joy to me. I… I hope for that to be the same for you and-"

"Blu," Jewel interrupted, her face now plastered with a smile. "I love you too. And… and I'm sorry. I wish I hadn't been so melodramatic just now… I should have thought about what I had instead of what I didn't. And I have you... I should have known, Blu."

Jewel drew me into her wings, regardless of any possible onlookers, regardless of people who might judge us regardless of whatever came our way and attempt to pull us apart. "I should have known you're all I need… because you really do make me happy. Just by being next to you."

She pulled me in to kiss me for the umpteenth time. "I'm so sorry, meu amor… I shouldn't have been so upset about such a trivial matter… I don't even know why I keep doing that even though I tell myself I shouldn't…"

I smiled. "Does it matter? When you love somebody you don't love her for being perfect, you love her despite the fact that she isn't. I just hope that you would love me as well and keep me in your thoughts…"

Jewel looked me in the eyes. "I promise I won't do it again."

I looked her in the eyes again. "I promise you, Jewel, I will never, ever leave you. I will always be right next to you to protect you and keep you happy."

Jewel nodded. "And that's all I'll ever need."

As I pulled her into my embrace again, the scars left behind by the tearing grief completely vanished, as if something had completed it, as if something filled its place to heal me back. That was the power of such emotions, like extreme separation anxiety- one moment, when you're alone, you're depressed and have had your heart broken, and the next, when you're with the one you love, elation is injected in you and in a flash, you're happy and contented again. Even when you feel like everything is about to end, like nothing goes your way and nobody cares anymore, you could depend on the one who could truly love you, forever and always.

Life, I realise, is like a desert, with millions of miles of silicon dioxide stretching out into the open, under the temperature of 50 or even -5 degrees Celsius, wandering aimlessly alone and with nothing else with you. You feel like you can't survive or ride it out; life is bleak, hopeless and filled to the brim with difficulties. But then the one you love is like a desert flower- beautiful amongst the plains of despair and consistent difficulty, surviving throughout the storm. And sometimes, it just gives you the energy to move on. Some part reaches out to that flower and quenches you with hope.

You could always look to her to make you happy, regardless of the consequences.

~The Next Day~

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, it really sounds like that. 'I' in Portuguese is 'Eu'."

I made a face. "So when you refer to yourself you're actually expressing disgust? What kind of sadists are the Portuguese?"

Jewel chuckled, her voice sweet as honey, in contrast to my ludicrous, disbelieved tone. "It's our language, Blu. Now say it. Eu."

"Ewwww…" I slurred, as if I knew I was making a wrong step.

Jewel sighed, exasperated. Obviously I had been rather exaggerated; I could see it. "Close enough. Now, say você."

"Veh-cee…"

"That means 'you'. 'Te' also means that."

"Tttttttttttt…"

"Good." Her patience level was astounding. "Now say this. Eu te amo."

"Eu te amo… What does that mean?"

Jewel smiled, crimson flooding her face. "It means I love you."

I felt heat flood to my face as well. "I love you too, Jewel."

I didn't really care how awkward this would have looked at a third-person perspective; I drew her in a pressed my beak against hers. Sometimes it only took the taste or touch of your mate to drive you, fill you with adrenaline and have energy pumping in your veins… and, more often than not, remind you that your love would always be by your side.

"Irmã! Cunhado!" A familiar bass voice called out.

Quickly I broke away, staring at the ground while attempting to stifle a sheepish smile. Jewel acted the same way as Ronaldo glided the room, a grin plastered on his face, with Lisa trailing him. Obviously he had not espied us; a tide of relief swept over me.

"Today's the day, sister," Ronaldo said, as the two landed next to us as well.

The euphoria rekindled in Jewel and Lisa, their eyes glinting. I had expected for them to be exhilarated, anyway- it had so happened that both of their wings had healed simultaneously (Lisa's wound was more superficial than Jewel's, according to Tulio) and we were free to live in the jungle, free from human interference in our natural habitat, where all three of my companions are familiar with and find refuge in.

Of course, the same cannot be applied to me. Domestication is, after all, my comfort zone- the teak-wood feel of the floor, the smell of chocolate and blueberry in the kitchen, the white walls that shielded me from the elements- this was my fortress. This is where I would be treated when I was scratched, this is where I took my own food, this is where I had heat during winter and air conditioning during the summer- and the outside world had none of these things.

Instead, in the outside world, you had to provide for yourself. You had to know what was edible and what wasn't, where water was and a good shelter. You had to keep yourself healthy with no medical supplies or technological equipment available and you had to watch out for predators. In short- your main concern is to survive. Human advancement has gone so far as to overcome this and move on with scientific achievements- which, of course, do not exist here in the outside world, and you had to start over, survive or you're dead meat. Literally.

Let me just say that if I had pants and if I wasn't standing next to my mate, I would have wet myself.

My expression caught the inevitable attention of the other three. Ronaldo and Lisa donned perplexed faces. "Cunhado, are you alright?"

I looked away, clearly ashamed. "I… I, um… it's…" My vocal chords failed me once again; what would be apt to say? Would I lie that I was perfectly fine, or whine about my seemingly trivial matters? I feared Ronaldo would not be able to empathise…

Jewel smiled understandingly. "Blu não é muito usado para o mundo exterior, isso é tudo," she explained calmly, a mother rectifying her son's fears. "Eu acho que ele ainda está traumatizado desde a última vez." She said light heartedly before laughing briefly. {Blu não é muito usado para o mundo exterior, isso é tudo. Eu acho que ele ainda está traumatizado desde a última vez. = Blu's not used to the outside world, that's all. I think he's still traumatised from last time.}

Lisa nodded slightly in enlightenment, whereas Ronaldo laughed, clearly understanding the situation (and ironically, Jewel's sharp Portuguese continues to confuse me). "I see," Ronaldo answered, his cool bass tone light-hearted. "Blu, cunhado, you should tell us what you're afraid of."

I sighed. To admit that you were different from the rest of them, the odd one out, never seemed to be pleasant- you wanted to be accepted and find things in common with others. Obviously being domesticated and American singled me out. It had also warped my thinking as well- to be one side you had to fight against another- even if that other side had all your best friends on it; complete physical and psychological warfare. Now if I laid my opinion out bare and exposed, juxtaposing with their own, there would be a high chance that I would be exiled from them.

I could understand where Ronaldo was coming from- he had been in nature all his life and obviously would not know my perspective. But somebody once said that ignorance was bliss.

"Don't worry, Blu," Jewel said, and then the anguish in my mind vanished instantaneously.

My voice was matter-of-fact, completely generic. "The jungle is filled to the brim with all sorts of dangers… like snakes and spiders and poison and poachers…" I shuddered; I did not want to relive that. "And to be honest… I really don't think I have the skills to survive. Like where to go for water and food, how to adapt, and to be honest I'd…" I grew meek. I really felt stupid, admitting my fears and setting myself apart from all the rest. "I'd probably starve to death in ten seconds flat, maybe."

To my utter surprise, nobody seemed to be upset. Lisa remained emotionless, shied away, but Jewel and Ronaldo retained comforting expressions.

"Ah, Blu," Ronaldo assured, that same, trademark impish grin across his face. "I can teach you the ways of the jungle. It's a breeze, I assure you."

My eyes widened. "You will?" It came across as shock to me since Ronaldo, in actual fact, disliked me to some extent… would he be willing to teach me everything to keep me alive, to share the secrets that experience in the outside world had passed to them?

He nodded. "Sim," he merely answered. "Yes. Besides, you have Joia."

My head turned towards her, and immediately all the clouds of fear and doubt cleared away in the light that love donated. Just by looking at her face... it made me happy, filling me with unexplainable joy that made life seem insignificant, when the centre of your universe was in fact right next to you. Jungle survival, after all, would come naturally- if Jewel could breeze through the wild as if it were empty space, then why couldn't I? She is part of my heart, after all.

"It's not what you feel up there," I recalled Rafael gesturing to my brain while telling me this with the utmost confidence and assurance that it was true, and would come true. "It's what you feel in here." And he had gestured to his heart.

I figured that it would apply everywhere else in this wild, wild world.

I smiled. "Thank you so much, Ronal-"

"Ah esta tudo bem, cunhado," he interrupted. "You're the one taking care of Jewel; I can't let you starve to death. Who'll take care of Jewel then?"

I gulped. Funny, how he was the one saying it. "Right..."

Ronaldo chuckled lightly as Tulio and Linda entered the room. The former examined Jewel's and Lisa's wings, a final scan before sparking the exodus into the wild.

"They seem fine," Tulio remarked for the umpteenth time, as if he refused to come to terms with it. "I guess they're ready to go."

I saw the sorrow upon Linda's face, as her eyes dropped to the floor and the frown stretched across her face. If I were to be bestowed to authority to change nature I would have had all Macaws domesticated rather than letting them reside in the harsh, outside world. Of course, this is not so- Jewel and I were to start our lives as mates, and I had to breakeven with Linda, the one who had taken care of me for the last 15 years, the one who had rescued me from the blizzard back when she was 8 and the one who morphed me into the bird I was. Sans Jewel's love for me, of course.

This wasn't going to be easy.

"Linda?" Tulio addressed Linda. Her eyes flickered back into reality, gazing upon her 'big baby' as he was about to take flight, departing from the fortress of home into the wild. The ornithologist pressed, concern laced into his tone, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said, a knee-jerk reaction. "I... I just want to speak with Blu."

"Sure," Tulio said, and he swiftly scooped up Jewel, Ronaldo and Lisa before heading out the door. "Take as much time as you need."

When Linda didn't respond, he shut the door, a wall of separation, gently as if his reluctance to let go was as strong as Linda's.

She sighed, and she dragged a chair over to sit, our eyes now level with each other. Her tongue whipped across her lips, and she pursed them, attempting to find words, verbal commands thought to have dropped from the sky onto her lap. "Blu, I..."

"Linda," I squawked, almost hoarsely. The pain of loss is really unbearable to the fragile human heart- it was like taking everything away from you until you were a hollow shell of your past self.

The pain of being separated with Linda is somewhat neutralised by being Jewel's mate. It was something to fill me up, to replace what I was before to create something new, something different and adapted to the new environment outside. But I still held some sentimentality for Linda- she is, after all, almost like my mother in that sense. The separation isn't eternal for me as well- I could visit her at any point of time.

But, on the contrary, she had nothing to fill her life up. She had devoted 65.2% (15 of 23) of her life into raising me and her heart strings were connected to mine. Once they were cut, she virtually couldn't live anymore. And the day of reckoning took only, what, 10 days for it to occur? The separation would feel like a lifetime for her, especially when I could possibly be entrenched in living the wild and be too busy to visit her... I could even die.

Eternal separation is existent, I guessed.

When she found the courage to stare into me again, she wore a crooked smile, a set of armour to protect herself as tears welled up in her eyes. "Well, Blu, this is it."

That phrase always got me. More often than not my mind would drift to Michael Jackson's to-be concert until he died tragically. Can you imagine, when your favourite artist stages a comeback to wow the world, and suddenly he's gone? This is it... this is the day I have to leave to the wild, where anything could happen and nothing is impossible. This was separation from the one you've known for 15 years, obviously it was significant.

This was something nobody really wanted, but was needed.

"I..." Linda continued, trying to comfort me when in actual fact she was comforting herself. "I just want you to know that I love you and... when you love someone, you must let be able to let go. I... I'll be ok..."

By the look on her face you would think she was telling the truth- the accommodating smile said it all. But on the inside, you knew you would never be the same. But she was right- I belonged in the jungle, like it or not, and that was my home. She was merely a holding place, temporal as life goes and passes.

"I love you too, Linda. And thank you so much for everything," I said, every word dipped in my heart juices. I knew she wouldn't understand me, but I had to nevertheless. "I promise I'll visit and all, I won't forget you."

"Oh Blu..." Linda moaned painfully, and she cradled me in her arms, a final goodbye. Separation can be so melodramatic sometimes- humans are victims of their own emotions. I rested my head softly against her body, one last touch before I set off to where I truly belonged, like an attempt to absorb her sadness to another place.

"Blu." She looked into my eyes- hers held a clear acceptance of fate. "I'm sure you belong out there in the wild, and I'm sure Jewel would make you happy... she'll give you a better life. And... I accept this. But be sure to visit, okay?"

I nodded approvingly, and she held out her fist, similar to the time before we headed out for Rio. It would have seemed inappropriate, ironic even, to handshake before I was going to be separated from her, but I knew I would still be with her... in spirit, I suppose. And this was a seal- something only we know; it was a special connection, something that will never die.

"Oh, Blu... you've grown up so much. You even have a mate now." Her eyes wandered over to the door, where Jewel, the love of my life, awaited me. "I just want you to know I'll always be here if you need me... and I love you. I'll miss you..."

I crooned gently, as she nuzzled me. Humans might not be able to understand bird language, but they can still hear us and decipher our emotions, be it pained, furious or joyous. "I'll miss you too..." I said. And I was sure that she knew that as well.

There was a silence, as me and her just sat there, me in her arms. Sometimes you didn't need words to fill up the space between people- you just had to be next to them to realise how much you can't let go of them. But when you love somebody, you often have to be able to let them go too if it's for their own good. You'll always be in their heart, anyway.

Linda abruptly looked at me. "I think we shouldn't let Tulio wait on us."

I nodded, and she went to open the door, letting Tulio, Jewel, Ronaldo, Lisa and all the possibilities of the future come into our lives.

I won't ever forget their faces as we, the four birds, flew off into the sky. I couldn't stop looking back... there they were, waving as we plunged into the outside world. Linda's face... it held that reluctance to let go, but at the same time an unexplainable joy. It was one that would be etched into my mind for a long time.

But when I looked at Jewel, I knew that my life with her awaited, one that was full of possibilities and joy. I knew that she loved me and I loved her... what else could I ever need? My life from now on would be spent right next to her, going through thick and thin, fire and ice, every hurdle in life. And that's the best thing I could ever have.

Linda knows that I am grateful for everything that she had given to me. She also knows that my life with Jewel would be everything I should want and need, and more. She knows that I'm better off in the wild with a bird who loves me from the bottom of her heart.

And what she knows is the absolute truth.

Reviews anybody? Pretty please with a cherry on top?

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