A/N: There is a bit of a lime scene in this chapter. Nothing huge and it's not long. But just another thing to go with the rest of the story. Another chapter for the story. I know it's slow moving. It's kind of suppose to be. I've learned rushing doesn't make a story good, I think it just annoys the reader a bit.

The time frames will be going ahead and at different intervals. So with that, I do love getting reviews and would love to see how people like this so far. And on another note, this hasn't been proof read. I will probably go through the chapters later to proof read and edit them, for now... I apologize for any mistakes made.

A Lullaby to Soothe the Demons Within

Chapter 2

Peeta's POV

One and a Half Years since returning to District 12

"Katniss." It's a mere whisper that rolls off my lips as she pulls away from our kiss. Her breathing is slightly erratic and I wonder if she's feeling the same way I am. Some times our kisses get like this, hot and tempting. The unknown though makes me too scared to go further than the kiss. Even our kisses become some what sloppy as we try to deepen it. Our tongues clash and then we're pulling back in embarrassment because of how ridiculous we feel. I wonder some times if I would have been different if I had never gone through the Hunger Games. Would I have been more experienced by now? I had heard of other boys my age talk of there time with girls. How great it was. I had ignored them then but now it was coming back. It didn't help that Katniss also had endured the Games and then the war. I never touched the skin beneath her clothing, that was overstepping our current arrangement and I was happy with what it was now, I didn't want to ruin it for some sexual gratitude that I knew was the cause of my desires. Though inexperienced and not very knowledgeable of the whole thing, I did know enough that to start such an encounter involved skin on skin contact. She wasn't ready for that and I don't think I was either.

I come back to our current surroundings and feel her toes barely touching the hairs on my leg. My pj pants normally would slide up a bit from my ankles, exposing the little bit of hair I had on on my right leg. I give a small smile to her in the dark as I keep my hand firmly around her midsection of her stomach. I never put it any where else unless I was caressing the skin of her face. I could feel her breathing slowing down and feel the air escape her mouth as a yawn escapes. She had woken up earlier than normal that day after a particularly bad dream. Sweat had covered her side of the bed and no matter what I did or say, she couldn't shake off the nerves. Eventually she had gotten up and put her hunting gear on. It was some times her best therapy when nothing else worked. I didn't follow her. She'd be ok when she returned. I would probably be at work before she got back, but at least she would be feeling better when I got home that afternoon. Besides we knew if I followed then there would be no game that day. I was too loud when I walked normally and it had been magnified when I got my prosthetic leg. It's impossible to be stealthy when you're me

I move closer to her on the bed, pulling her closer to me in the process and kiss her forehead lightly. "Go to sleep if you're tired. There's no point forcing yourself to stay up." She nods her head quietly and lets the hand she has around my waist tighten in my grey cotton shirt. She's nearly asleep but trying so hard to stay awake. She does this some times, usually after a bad nightmare, fearing that another will plague her that evening. "You'll be ok tonight. I don't think you'll have another one while you sleep and I will keep holding you for as long as I can. Now go to sleep." Yet her grip doesn't loosen.

"Peeta?" Her voice seems so small, so quiet I barely hear her. I let out a little hum in acknowledgment of my name. "Do you think we'll get married soon?" I smile to the dark. It's her first time bringing this up now. I figured it was out of the question for now while we are recovering. I guess she was recovered enough to think about it.

"Maybe one day. I didn't think you'd be ready yet, not for a couple years at least." I hear her own hum as she thinks that over. I wonder if maybe she was ready for this next step? Yet we were still young, I didn't want to rush things.

"I wouldn't object to the idea, if it was proposed. Greasy Sae says it's the next step when you live with a man that you're together with, and any wedding here is never like the one the Old Capitol was trying to plan. I mean, it would be more for the moral aspect since we are living together." She had put some thought into this. I wonder when she had thought about it.

"Yes, I suppose that's true. But we haven't been the most conventional couple around for a while now. It doesn't matter when we wed, I'm just happy to be with you." She hadn't caught the way it had been phrased, it wasn't a question of if we would get married one day, but a question of when we would do it. I feel her close any distance between us and her tentative lips touch mine once more. I guess she wasn't quite ready to fall asleep. I think to myself that our kissing has improved, but other feelings have been rising in me. I've heard it's normal for boys my age to get urges. My parents had never really told me much about it though and I was never that close with my brothers. So every time I started to feel myself excite as our kisses progressed I'd have to pull away, stop it before my hands decided to take control and do some thing that Katniss wasn't comfortable with. I've shifted so that we had some distance between us again. I was uncomfortable and had to move a bit to try and ease the tightness that seemed to rise in my pants. I didn't want her to notice the sudden change. I hear her sigh and know she's almost asleep. It was amazing how simple and easy it was for her to fall asleep as long as I was there. I know it's the same for me. She rolls over to her other side facing away from me and I'm able to free the arm that was under her.

I get up from the bed and tip toe my way to the bathroom. I needed a minute or two to try and calm my over active body. Shutting the door behind me I lean against it, letting my head thump lightly against the solid wood. My pj pants are uncomfortable around my hips. I can feel the blood pumping to the south part of my body and I hate myself for letting my desires get the better of me. It doesn't happen too often, not usually. Though lately it's gotten worst and I wonder if I'll be able to survive being with Katniss like this when my body ends up reacting to her so easily and causing this problem as an end result. I close my eyes, I feel guilty as I let my hand slid under the waistband of my pj bottoms and the hem of my boxers. My hand only grazes the straining member and I sigh softly. I wrap my fingers around it and give it a pump, I can feel my resolve failing quickly as my hand strokes my members quickly. I want to find the end, the release I need so that I can go back to our room and fall asleep next to the girl who makes me feel this way. My hips act on their own and thrust into my hand, causing a moan to escape my lips. My mind has gone beyond the walls of this bathroom and for a moment I'm in a fantasy with Katniss. Out in a grassy field, kissing, caressing bare skin and then I think of what she would sound like if I were to touch her more intimately, what kind of noise would she make? How would she look? She'd be beautiful. I think of the way she whispers my name in the dark when we're alone at night in our bed. She'd probably has that same rasp to her voice if her and I were joined. Her dark locks would cover me as she lays on top of me.. soft, sun kissed flesh against my own pale skin. The images are too much and I feel the sticky substance coating my hand and the inside of my boxers. My hips jerk in small waves as my release hits me in waves. I'm panting hard as my legs give out and I fall to the tiled ground. The images are still playing in my head as I close my eyes for a moment, hand still pumping out my release before I feel myself soften. I remove my hand from my pants and grab a dirty towel that's laying on the ground to clean off the white mess from my hand.

I know I need to change before I go back. I've learned recently that falling sleep after doing this results in my boxers nearly sticking to me in the morning with dried up white spots on my clothes. But I can't move yet, the guilt has hit me. Was it normal to feel guilty for fantasizing about your girlfriend? I wondered if other people felt this way after doing this? Or did this only happen to me because the girl I thought about was still a broken person that was trying to find the pieces to her life? I banged my fist against the ground, letting out my frustration. Only when I was by myself could I let my emotions get the best of me. I would never let Katniss see this side of me, I needed to be strong for her. I almost feel like I may cry, but I refuse to let my remorse get so out of control. I force myself off the ground and remove my pj bottoms and boxers. I set them in the basket we keep for dirty laundry in the bathroom and grab another pair from under the sink. I usually keep my pj's in here since we still don't change in front of one another. I really didn't care, but I know it made her feel awkward to see me naked. I wash my hands and shake whatever water I can off them and leave the bathroom. I leave the light on in there during the night in case she needs to get up during the night to use it. She's weary of the dark and again I can't blame her. I find my way back to our room and climb back into bed on my side. I pull the covers over myself and curl up to her back, letting my arm hug her midsection close to me. We thought our relationship was simple but there was my own war waging inside me and for now, I was still winning.