A Lullaby to Soothe the Demons Within

Chapter 3

Katniss' POV

2 Years since returning to District 12

Peeta. The boy with the bread. My husband. We have finally gotten married and followed the traditions passed down from the ancestors of our District though we didn't get a new house since we were residing in Peeta's house in the victors village already. Not many had shown, my mother was one of the few who was with us to witness it. Simple. It was a nice. It had also been a sad day for me as I longed to have Prim by my side during this time. My heart had ached at that thought. This was also the first time seeing my mother is months, she was now working in the newly built capitol, working at the main hospital as one of the many doctors there. She had taken time off to see me tie the knot with Peeta. Seeing her was a grim reminder of the things I lost and maybe that's why I didn't see her often. It was just too hard. Peeta had dressed in his Sunday best, a short sleeve white button downed cotton shirt and black slacks that was held up by a black belt, black loafers accompanied his outfit, while I wore a pretty white dress my mother had brought with her. It was a simple short sleeved dress that fell below my knees and black open toed two inch heels that my mother also picked out. She had a better eye for fashion than I did, plus I really didn't like dresses. She had done my hair for me, doing the complicated braid that Peeta once said he liked on me, my hair wasn't as long as it had been there, barely brushing past my shoulder blades, yet the braid was still as pretty as the first time she ever did it for me. I felt.. beautiful for once. Most of my scars were hidden beneath the cotton material of the dress, the rest of them that were showing were faded enough that you could barely notice them. When we finally met one another in front of our Mayor, I was stunned to see how handsome Peeta looked, he was like his old self again when we had been made over for the games. Even then I thought he had looked Handsome, though they usually made all of us look a little to eccentric to cover any flaws we may have had.

The Mayor had deemed us, in the eyes of District Twelve, Mr and Mrs Mellark, we shared a small kiss in front of the people that had shown up and smiled at one another. Haymitch had given us a loud cheer, though that was probably the alcohol he had already consumed that day making him do that. I felt content knowing we had finally started on with our lives. This was what I needed, maybe what we both needed. A step into the future. Maybe my demons would one day be at bay and leave me in peace, I didn't think that would happen but for once, I was hopeful. We invited everyone back to our place to celebrate the occasion since it seemed not many joyous things happened in this district often. People were still trying to rebuild their houses to move back to, Paylor had been good to everyone that had lost their homes, giving relief to everyone who needed it. The new world wasn't perfect, but it was better than it had been. We weren't starving these days.

I can hear people laughing and talking around the house, my mother is in the kitchen talking to Greasy Sae, thanking her for taking care of her daughter when she couldn't. Greasy Sae had come twice a day to my home to make sure I was eating and well. It wasn't until Peeta came back that she decided she'd only visit once or twice a week since Peeta had taken over taking care of me. They're talking about the upcoming arrivals to District Twelve, ones who have decided their house was good enough to come back to.

"Delly will be back. She was visiting the capitol a few days before I came here and I had overheard her saying her home was finished and she was in the process of packing her things to take home." My mother is the one speaking. I don't enter the kitchen, merely listen by the door.

"Oh, Delly Cartwright?" I don't hear a reply and assume my mother nodded to Greasy Sae. "Oh that will be nice. She use to help me out in the kitchen in the Hob. I wonder if she'd be willing to help me out again. She's a nice one." For some reason I'm over come with jealousy. I know that there were plenty of other girls who were liked better than myself. It had been like that my entire life. Between Prim and I, she was the favoured one amoung everyone. I had been ok with that. So why was I jealous of Delly? I knew why. I may be slightly naïve but not enough to realize why it was bothering me. Her and Peeta had been friends before the Games, I would see them in the halls at school together all the time when I took notice of the boy who gave me the burnt bread. And that time when we had finally rescued Peeta from the Capitol only to find out he had been hijacked, trying to kill me in the process. They had let her in his room and he had recognized her, acknowledged her presence and shared conversations with her. He had given her smiles that should have been meant for me at that time. He had stuck with her when he had started getting better. By better I mean that he wasn't trying to kill me every time he saw me. I had been jealous then of her. That she could still freely be by his side and get his smiles, while he looked on at me with disgust. Mutt. It was a memory I was not fond of. Knowing she was coming back made me uneasy. I was not use to feeling this way, uneasy, jealous, inadequate, and worried. I need to have faith in Peeta's feelings though. We were finally a married couple, meaning he wanted to be with me, the same way he had felt back in the games and according to him, the way he had felt from the time were young. I refused to let such irrational emotions bother me.

I jump and search frantically as arm encircle my waist from behind. I've been captured. As I'm ready to try and strike my captor I hear the voice talk softly to me from behind. "It's just me. You're ok, no one is attacking." It takes me a minute to come to and realize it's Peeta behind me, my sandy blond, blue eyed husband holding onto me. I release the breath I had been holding and tell my body to relax. "Sorry, I should know better by now about sneaking up like that. I saw you and couldn't resist coming over to you. You look worried. No regret?" I'm startled at his question. Regret? What regret would I have? I wiggle out of his grasp and take his hand in my own to lead him away from the kitchen before they notice I've been eavesdropping on their conversation. We escape the crowd and I lead us upstairs to our room. Peeta closes the door behind us. I can hear Haymitch screeching about something and almost let myself laugh at how ridiculous he is. He really couldn't hold his liquor. I sit down on the side of the bed, the side I sleep on as I look into the depth of his blue eyes. Always so calm and soft. It was no wonder I couldn't survive without this man.

"Now what do you mean 'no regret'?" I ask in reference to his question from the hallway. He shakes his head and he gives me a small smile.

"Just worried that maybe you got cold feet with everyone here and decided that this was the wrong choice, you and I getting married." I shake my head in disbelief. Was he being serious? For someone so smart with words and knowing me better than I know myself, he could be really slow at times.

"Really? Jeez Peeta, you're really dumb some times. If I really didn't want this, don't you think I would have left your house ages ago? Do you really think I would have bothered staying here... oh. You think I'm playacting again." It's his turn to look at me in disbelief. How many more times would I have to tell him I loved him before he understood my feelings for him? Why did he have to be difficult? I decide not to let him respond, I'm getting mad and I can't help the rush of words that escapes me. "Peeta if you think I'm lying to you then this won't work. I'm being real this time. I think you're being too stupid right now and I am in no mood for it. It's our wedding day and this is what we're discussing. I'm not going to take it. It is just beyond ridiculous!" I throw my hands in the air. I can't look at him, I'm mad at him now. I stand up and make my way to the door, going around him in hopes of getting out before he can say anything.

I feel his hand grab me and pull me to him. Lips crash against my own before I am able to do anything. It's not gentle like usual. It's harsh and desperate. My anger is dissolving and I'm wrapping my arms around him, clinging to the fabric of his shirt, pulling myself closer to him. This kiss is different from most and I can feel my lower stomach starting to coil, butterflies feel like they're making their way up my throat and I break for air. I'm gasping as I realize I had held my breath. It doesn't stop him though, he's pulling me back for another kiss. I don't refuse him, only tightening my hold into the material of his shirt as our bodies mold against one another's. That's when I feel it. Something stiff between us that rubs slightly against my stomach. I wasn't stupid. I knew what that was. Peeta. His tongue is finding it's way between my parted lips and coax mine to fight his for dominance. This situation is different. Our kisses never had been so heated before. I can feel myself getting nervous as to where this may go. Was I ready to take that step? For him to see me for all I was when I could barely look in the mirror at my own reflection? I know now is not the time to even be thinking about this. I pull away this time, just in time for the door to burst open and see a drunk Haymitch, holding a bottle of white liquor, give us a knowing smile as he stands at the door. He stumbles upon his words as he informs us people are getting ready to go. He laughs as he leaves us to make his way back downstairs. Shouting behind him "don't take too long, lovebirds. I'm sure you're guest would like to see you before they leave"

I feel my cheeks becoming heated and look up at Peeta to see his own cheeks flushed with colour as well. He gives a forced cough and allows a smile to play across his lips once more.

"Maybe we should, uh- talk about that later. When no one is around?" He questions me, to see if I'd even be willing to talk about this. Was I? Did I even understand the direction this was going in? Sex. Yes I think I knew enough to know what happens when a man and a woman get married. I decide perhaps we would have to talk about it eventually, better now than later.

"Yes. I think that's probably a good idea. I'll go down first." I think that'll give him some time to calm himself down, though I wonder if I also needed to. My body felt weird, almost as if it was humming. My lower abdomen was tight and I could feel a fire there that I had never felt before. My private area also felt different. I knew then. I wanted Peeta Mellark. I just didn't fully know what that meant. And dammit, a word I had heard someone say once while frustrated, I forgot about Delly. I suppose she was the least of my worries right now.