A/N: I know this chapter is all about romance, and that now I've added Nick as one of the featured characters, according to fan fiction tradition, this needs to get a little slash. I can't do it.
"Happy SAD!" Trent greets him warmly at Warbler's practice, handing him a small box of chocolate.
He studies it. "Are these … sugar free?" He tries to keep the disgust out of his voice. He's resolved to be nicer to these people who are tentatively becoming his friends. It would be rude to tell Trent that "sugar-free" and "diabetic friendly" things usually have carbs, too. It would be rude to mention that sugar alcohol, sorbitol and sucralose all give him worse diarrhea than when the dining hall serves tacos.
Trent nods proudly, then stands awkwardly for a moment, waiting.
He's not sure if he's supposed to hug the other boy, but thankfully the moment passes when Trent spies someone in the shifty crowd and goes off to Singles Awareness Sparkle, to their day.
It's not the first time he's been single on Valentines Day. In fact, he can count on his fingers the number of times he's been in anything that could be termed a "relationship" in the past sixteen years.
Deep down, there is part of him that knows some day, he wants to be a daddy. He sees beautiful families with beautiful children, and he's filled with longing. Someday, he wants to have that unconditionally safe love, that feeling of completeness that comes from finding his other half.
He's not sure he will ever be able to let anyone close enough to find that other half. The one-night stands, the threesomes … foursomes … fivesomes, the speed sex, it's easier than letting anyone close. He enjoys the physical pleasure, and ignores the emptiness in his heart and head.
He keeps romance, and love at arm's length, because he is broken. No one who knows his brokenness will be able to love him. And, if he loves someone, he's not sure he can subject him to his brokenness.
How do you tell someone you love that you're going to leave them before you're ready? How do you look them in the eyes that are young and full of promise and tell them you will not grow old together? How do you let the person you love see you on death's door over and over again until you finally slip over the threshold?
But, how can you say you are in love if you lie about something so big?
He knows he cannot control other people, but he can keep them safe by controlling himself.