A/N: So another chapter like promised. It's not as long as the previous two, but it's a decent length. There's an A/N at the bottom to read after you finish reading this chapter. Not sure exactly where I'm heading with this story... I got ahead of myself and just let my fingers type away the words... thus we're now at chapter 6. Editing will be in progress for the later chapters very soon. This will be the last chapter for year two and will be progressing further ahead in the upcoming chapters. :)

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Reminder- I don't own the hunger games trilogy, characters, etc. They belong to Susan Collins. But I did write this story.


A Lullaby to Soothe the Demons Within

Chapter 6


Peeta's POV

2 years and 4 moths since returning to District Twelve

It's been a few weeks now since our fight.. and what had followed after wards. She was still getting sick at random times of the day. I was getting worried but she insisted she was fine. She didn't look unhealthy or anything and that was worrying me more. I decided to cut my hours back in the last two weeks just to make sure I was around more. I was also doing it just to make it up to her after leaving her alone so much. I know I had put my distance between us because I, for whatever stupid reason, felt it was better. I hadn't been completely honest with my Kat. It had to do with someone else, one I knew she wasn't ready to see yet. Gale. I had heard he'd be back for a couple months to help with the remainder of the repairs the district needed. I wasn't sure what his presence would do to her, whether it bad or good, neither were in my favour. Worst case for her, seeing him sets off one of her more violent episodes and good case, her and Gale make up and become close again. Worst case for me, they make up and become close again. I know I am wrong for thinking that way and I would never tell her that, but I know I wouldn't be able to stand losing her. I knew I was still a little uneasy as far of their relationship went, even if they weren't on speaking terms right now. I know I should tell her but we've gone through a lot already. I was still reassuring her at times that there was nothing with Delly and I.

It's spring outside now and I've decided we are going to clean up outside, fixing up the garden in the process. It's Saturday and my day off. I know she enjoys this day the most because we get the whole day to us. She's come down dressed in light sweat pants and a baggy t-shirt, my t-shirt. I laugh. The attire makes her look as is she's shrunk in height. She gives me a half glare as she pulls her hair into a high pony tail, getting the hair out of her face. I see the slightest bit of skin exposed at the gesture, right where she hip bones meet her torso. I think of the skin under that shirt and have to nearly slap myself to get away from those thoughts. I think I ravished her enough last night, if my back was any indicator. Long thin scraps ran down my back, proof of what she had done to me. She's been more than eager in our night activities, though satisfying her has become a task for me. I wonder if all girls are like this? Hard to satisfy? I wouldn't say she was hard to satisfy but she was difficult because she always wanted to go again. I feel like we've learned a lot about each others' bodies in the last couple weeks, she made sure of that. I don't mind it though, because in those moments she is the purest to me. Her face is free of worry and fear during our times together and it seems to be the only thing that does that.

I hold out a plate of cinnamon sugar toast to her, she takes the plate, not even thinking about if I may want any and sits at the table. It had become her new favourite food to eat, along with cheese buns. I was happy to see her eating more and to be at healthier weight. I don't complain because this has been good for her. I go back to cooking the topping for the pancakes I am making. She asked me last night if I could use some of the fruit she had brought home to make topping for pancakes. She's only ever had it once and that had been a treat I made for her just days after I returned. She said it was ok but she wasn't a huge fan. I decided to keep finding and cooking the thing that she may be a fan of. There was a few things she really liked. Funny she seemed to like it now. I wonder what changed. I set the large stack of pancakes on the table and then pour the cooked sugary fruit mix into a measuring cup so that she can pour as she pleases. I set an empty plate in front of her and a fork and knife on either side. She smiles up at me and I don't resist leaning over to give her a lingering kiss before I let her eat breakfast. "Morning" I say to her as I pull away. Her eyes are lidded and lips slightly parted before she finally replies.

"Morning, Peeta." She knows I like when she says my name. She picks up four pancakes with her fork, setting one on top of each other and I stare at her in amazement. Where was she putting all this food she consumed? She puts a generous amount of the fruit mix I made on top and sets it closer to me back on the table. I shake my head with a grin plastered on my face and grab some food for myself. She's gotten through half when she's running to the bathroom, I hear the noise coming from there and know that whatever she has just eaten is now in the toilet. I wait a moment, wondering if I should go check on her when the toilet flushes and the tap runs for a moment before she comes back out. She's rubbing her stomach absentmindedly with her right hand as she comes back to the table. She gives me a sheepish grin. "Sorry, I was feeling fine when I got up and I'm fine now." I'm worried, I don't like how this has been going on for some time now. Her vomiting comes randomly and we never know when to expect it or what sets it off but whenever she does comes back she's hungry again and the second time she eats it stays down. "Get that look off your face, I'm fine. My stomach is probably still adjusting to the richness of the food we get each week from the resources they send the district. It's ok." She's trying to get me to drop it, but I know that is just ridiculous logic. If it was an issue it would have been an issue back when we first started eating the food. She's tired of my worrying, she's called me a mother hen a couple times when I've annoyed her enough.

But it wasn't just the vomiting that was concerning me, it was the nightmares at night she was having. For whatever reason they seemed to be getting worst, yet she didn't even bat a lash the next day as she goes about her normal routine, almost as if she has forgotten what the dream was about. I don't understand what's going on within her body but it's only making my concern greater. I sigh, signalling I'm letting it go for now as I start to clean up the dishes. She's digging into the other half of the pancakes that were still on her plate, chewing slowly and relishing the taste in her mouth. You can tell she's in pure bliss right now with each bite. I don't think I've ever seen her enjoy something so much. Well that was a lie. When we would make love at night this was the her I always saw. That was the other thing, she had become more demanding in just the short few weeks, asking me for things I wasn't even sure of and some times I'd lay next to her after we were done wondering what had been going through her mind. For me, I always believed that a man laid with a woman because of love, that was the reason, having with someone you were not committed to just seemed so wrong. I've been told I'm 'old fashioned'. I viewed every encounter we had as making love, not, ah, fucking. She had referred to it as that a few times, the first time I nearly choked on the biscuit I had been eating, wondering where she had learned such a word. Haymitch. He had told her that word and what to use it for. I should have known it was him. He was crude and blatant with his words any time you spoke to him.

I just felt so in the dark about something, because she seemed so different. Her mood was hot and cold constantly, never knowing what to expect from her so I learned to not push my luck with things. I was surprised to see her agree so willingly to work on the garden and outside today. Usually she doesn't bother with it because of the Primroses I planted outside the house. It was suppose to be a memorial for her sister but she just saw it as a constant reminder of what she'd lost. I had suggested removing them but she said they made the house look more homey and said it was ok that they were there. So I tended to them every year during the warm seasons.

I finish cleaning the dirty dishes as she polishes off whatever had been left of the pancakes. I laugh once more. She was becoming a bottomless pit. "Take those pills next to on the table. They're garlic tablets I ordered a few weeks back, it's suppose to help with nausea." I nod my head to the two large, beige horse pills that are next to a cup of water I set out for her earlier. She picks one up and looks at it.

"How am I suppose to swallow this? It's huge!" Why was she so resistant at times?

"It's not that bad. Just drink a lot of water with them. It'll be better if you're feeling better while we're outside." I set the wash clothe down to drape over the faucet to dry and turn fully to face her, supporting myself against the counter. She's making pouty faces at the pills but finally complies and manages to swallow them down. I move over to her and kiss the top of her head lightly. "Get your shoes on. It's nice out today so it'll make our job a bit more enjoyable. You still want to do the eavestrough?" She stands up and stretches her limbs as she contemplates it for an instant.

"Might as well get it done and over with. Besides it's not going to change me going up there since you have too many problems with your leg. Lets just do it today. We'll grab the ladder from the back shed." I nod. She did this last year as well, as we found that ladders and me don't mix well. Between the leg and the height, a broken collarbone was much better than what could have happened to me when I fell.

Fifteen minutes later and I'm standing at the base of the ladder, giving Katniss any assistance she needs as she takes out the leaves that are plugging the eavestroughs, letting them fall to the ground. We'd rake them up later. She hums softly as she works on this small task. I can only watch for the most part and listen to her. I was there more to make sure the ladder was supporting her properly. I'm looking around to the budding trees in the yards around us when I see a figure walking towards the little victors' village. I can't make out who it is at first until they come into view. I'm frozen to the spot I'm standing on as I see who it is. Mr. Tall. Dark. And Handsome was making an appearance so soon after getting here. Katniss hasn't noticed yet and I wonder if I can get him to leave before she does. But when does my plans ever work out?

Shit.

His voice is clear as he speaks, loud enough for anyone near by to hear him. "Catnipp." He calls her by the nickname he gave her years ago and it's all I think before I hear the sounds from above me. The seconds tick by like minutes as everything plays in slow motion before my eyes. I'm trying to run to the other side as I see her body falling backwards towards the ground. I make it to her just in time for her to fall on me, her small, lean back collides onto my chest and I fall to the paved ground below me. My head hits the cement and my teeth clash at the impact but I ignore it as I move to see if she's unharmed.

The damage is done though. There's blood staining her clothes...

I've been sitting in the small clinic for two hours now, waiting to hear news of my wife. He's here too. I want to punch him and tell him to get the hell out of here but I don't have the strength to do that right now. I just want to know that she's alright. I let my head fall into my hands, rubbing my fingers through my hair, brushing past the goose egg that's on the back of my skull. I had been the lucky one of the two of us, only a bump and a few scrapes and bruises on my back and arms. But there had been so much blood on her and I can't figure out what the cause was. I see a nurse leave the room she's in and stand up. I stop her, hoping she can give me some answers.

"Is sh- she ok?" It's all I can manage to ask the woman. The woman looks at me and sees who I am. She gives me a sad small and I am expecting the worst when she opens her mouth.

"She's ok, but the baby didn't make it. It was still too young to sustain the impact. Your wife is sleeping right now and we're doing a blood transfusion just to make sure her blood levels are normal. The doctor will be out soon so you'll be able to ask him any questions." But I'm at a loss for words when she leaves. Katniss was ok. She was alive and breathing. Baby. The nurse had said baby. What baby? Wait... she had said baby right? I'm looking at my shaking hands as it all begins to make sense. The weird eating habits, the puking, the mood swings. My mother had told me many times how big of a pain I was when she was pregnant with me. The cravings, the morning sickness, the mood swings she supposedly endured while she carried me had been a pain to her. But I never thought to associate that with what was going on with Katniss, I thought maybe it was progress and an unknown illness she had contracted. Neither of us would think it was because of a pregnancy. I fall back to my chair I was occupying moments before and stare at the sterile white wall in front of me.

"I'm sorry for the loss." He's speaking to me. I want him to leave before I actually did do something to him. "Honestly, I didn't think you two really would be together much less starting a family already. I almost thought that-"

"-that she'd just be here waiting for you to return?" I cut him off. " After everything that's happened that's probably the most laughable thing I've heard you say since you found me in the capitol. You should have said something before coming here and if you know what's best for you then you'll leave right now. Obviously she can't handle seeing you yet, so I'd rather you didn't push my wife to do something she is not willing to go through with right now." He stands up and walks over to me. I don't look up at him, refusing to acknowledge him any more than I have to much less try and explain that the baby was some thing either of us knew about.

"I didn't mean for that to happen! I didn't expect her to fall off the ladder. Just... tell her I came to visit and make sure she was alright. It's not like I'll be far for the next several months. I would like to talk to her though." He's leaving and when I think he's gone his voice carries over to me once more. "Tell you're wife-" he says it as if the word actually tastes bad, "-that I'm sorry." I hear his footsteps fade away from where we are and I'm left in silence once more.

"Mr. Mellark?" I'm startled at the new voice beside me and sit up. I had been staring at the tiled flooring for an hour, though my mind was not here. The doctor is sitting next me with a board in his hands. "You're wife is fine. She's got some bruises and scraps, but otherwise she's fine physically but.." he trails off and I'm waiting to hear about the baby we have lost today. "...she did have a miscarriage. The impact was too much and she ended up losing the baby. I'm sorry."

"How far along had she been?"I ask, my voice raspy as I try to keep the tears from escaping.

"Roughly three months. Did you know about the pregnancy?" He asks me and I shake my head, signalling that I knew nothing of this and I don't think she did either. The doctor nods and continues on. "She would have just been hitting her first trimester. With this, she'll be noticing some tenderness around where her uterus and abdominal is. We will be wanting to see her again in a week from today to see how she is coping and how her body is healing up internally. But we'd like you to keep a close eye on her as well. There's an illness called Postpartum depression and with such a situation and past background, she is at high risk for it. I'll give you some pamphlets to read about it to gain an understanding about it and what to look out for. Otherwise, she'll be ready to go home as soon as she wakes up. You can go in now to see her." I watch him get up and I feel the anguish wash over me at the news. He sets a hand on my shoulder for a moment before leaving.

Baby. It had to have been from our first time. It's the only time we had done anything three months ago. But we had only done it once, how could we have made a baby on the first try? Thinking of the innocent life we've just lost, my son or daughter, crashes over me and I weep. We hadn't even had a chance to meet them or know of their existence before they were taken from us. I see any hope for us having children one day go out the window along with our happy, cozy life we had finally started to establish. The nightmares were going to be worst.


A/N: Done another chapter... which is probably filled with mistakes since it's after 2am here and I'm dead beat tired right now. I just wanted to explain a few things.

Some pregnant women are more sexually charged during their pregnancy and are usually hyper sensitive to any touches their body receives. If you've ever seen The Back Up Plan starring then you can understand this.

Even during their first trimester, some women eat A LOT. I don't lie. Seeing my mother when I was younger, when she was pregnant with my little sister showed me how much one pregnant woman can eat and what weird cravings they are over come with.

Mood swings can be a bitch... and even women who are not pregnant and go through their menstrual cycle often get moody. It's really no different. I've based much of the information in this story off what I've learned through schooling and from other people I know personally.

I'm also looking for a beta if anyone is up to the challenge. Mostly to help me fix small mistakes, improper words used in sentences. Grammar mistakes. I found out about a year ago that I'm dyslexic and explains my problems with words and such. So I'm looking for someone who is fairly good at english, has a good grasp for grammar, and even a wide range of words in their vocabulary. If you have these qualities I would love to hear from you. You can email me at meowmouth2005hotmail[dot]com

Last, if you read this story, I love feedback, good and bad. So leave a comment before you leave. Please?