I couldn't believe how well everything was going... it was surreal. I had never seen my father take so much interest in anyone other than my mother. And my grandfather! Well... he had spoken more to Isabella in that hour than he had to anyone I had ever been forced to be out with.
I felt like an idiot.
I had kept Isabella at bay for six months. Six months! I could have had her with me... I could have brought her here long ago! They liked her... truly liked her. I was in heaven as I watched Isabella be welcomed into my parents' home. I felt the nerves that had been building min me dissipate not long after she had been greeted by everyone and none of them had given her even as much as a frown. No one mentioned her belly... and though I thought I would be relieved, I was disappointed. I had finally come to terms with the fact that this was real. I had finally decided to man up and stand beside her and this... our baby. I was now ready to stand up and tell my family our news so that we could move forward, but they hadn't asked.
I didn't let that bother me though. Instead I embraced the fact that things were going beyond well and that all the anxiousness I had been feeling about the situation was for nothing. I had the urge to hold her small hand in my own during conversation and found that I rather enjoyed the feel of it resting in mine. She fit perfectly. I felt the emptiness her hand left when she got up to excuse her to the bathroom, but I knew that she would be back soon.
When Isabella was gone from the table, my father began.
"She is a lovely young woman, Edward. How did you meet her?" He wore the same smile he'd been wearing since we arrived, and I found myself mirroring that.
"Well... Isabella was our PR rep... we met at one of our functions that she was covering." I waited for the fall out, but it never came. I did notice however, that my grandfather excused himself from the table with a promise to return with some cigars. I figured we would be celebrating the baby... and that had me reeling on the inside. My father continued on with me as we waited.
"Well... I can't say that getting involved with her was the smartest thing for your career... but... I suppose that doesn't really matter now. I must say, Edward... I am surprised you have kept her a secret from us for so long... from everybody." my smile was gone now. It wasn't because he was admonishing me; in fact he had been extremely sincere in his praises of Bella. But I was reminded by those words about the way I had been treating her, and it made the shame I had been trying to move past resurface. My mother must have noticed the drop in my mood, and jumped in.
"She is pregnant, Edward... with your baby, yes?" I looked up to see my father's eyes to get a read on his feelings, and I was even more surprised to find him with an even and patient manner. I didn't have a voice yet, so I nodded my yes.
"And you have been caring for her? Taking care of all the things that go along with nurturing a pregnant woman?" She already knew that answer. I could tell by the tone in her voice that it was said in a way of judgment not question. Once again my shame swarmed my body and I could not bring myself to even nod or shake my head.
"Edward." My father's voice became grave. No doubt in disappointment at my lack of acknowledgment and selfish behavior. I collected my thoughts and gathered what little pride I had left and began explaining things.
"I have been absolutely horrible to her... more than..." I could barely get the words out without wanting to vomit, but I pushed on. "I was not around for the last nine weeks... and before that I had been gone even longer from her life since she told me."
I hadn't even finished the words before I felt a painful sting across my right cheek. My mother had slapped me. I welcomed the pain and was about to willingly ask for more, but instead I heard my father's voice once more.
"You have got to be kidding me." he sounded astonished and I found myself looking up to meet the shame in his eyes that waited for me. I was not disappointed when I looked up.
"I thought that..." what did I think? I collected my thoughts and then continued on. "I assumed that you would not be so welcoming to the idea of another scandal..." My father closed his eyes slowly as he let that sink in and I continued with the horrible truth.
"Were not married... we hadn't been a public couple... and she was technically an employee. I didn't think you would approve of her... she's not from a wealthy family or even all that connected to our world."
I saw my father drop his head into his hands and I figured that the worst was out, but then he asked the one question I wished to all of the gods he hadn't asked.
"So you just left her? You walked away without as much as a glance back? What about the child, Edward? You were going to leave her to raise your child alone?" He was getting angrier and angrier with each word, and I knew it was nothing compared to what he would feel like when he heard the truth of what I had done. I felt the sting in my eyes as I tried to say the words aloud, but when I said it, tears were rolling down my cheeks.
"I told her to have an abortion." the word sounded absolutely toxic as it fell from my mouth, and all I saw in that moment was the green eyed baby with my hair. The image made what I had said even more painful, but the image was gone when I was pulled from the dream land with another painful sting accompanied by many others. My mother was about to end me until my father pulled her back and did his best to restrain her. I was about to tell him to let her go... that I deserved it, but in the wake of all my mother's wailing, I heard a cry behind me that was all too familiar... I knew it well, because I had caused it many, many times myself.
It was Isabella. In an instant I was through the patio and in the house jogging to the nearest bathroom that was on the first floor. As soon as I was in the house, I could hear the condescending tone of my grandfather, and I began to see red.
I found her just as he told her that she and I would never work... he said it would never work for my family either, and as much as I wanted to give him my anger, I had to make sure she was okay. Tears were falling from her face faster than they had ever before. Her small body shook with the force of her sobs and it felt as if each tear was ripping me from the inside out. I did what I could to stop them and when I realized I wouldn't be able to stop them, my anger came out with a vengeance.
I screamed at the man that had been a constant judgement to me that I hated him! I told him I was done and that even if I had to disown them all then I would. I pulled Isabella into my chest and cradled her small bump in an attempt to shield our child and found my parents waling into the mess that had just happened. I told them all to go to hell. I told them that as far as I was concerned... the last name "Cullen" was dead to me. I figured I would change it to the only civil family I had... the Masen's. We were out the door then and I helped my love into the car. Only after I was in my car did I find the will to calm myself. I wouldn't be able to drive like this... and I would not risk our child or her safety.
I tried breathing deep but found that punching the steering wheel helped more. I wanted to beat the shit out of it, but was afraid she would get scared and decided against it. I thought anger would stay with me but then she asked me the only thing that would make the anger subside and the guilt more prominent.
"Why don't they think I'm good enough?" I said it was because they were insane… but then I remembered that I had made her feel that way as well. I knew that holding back what I had been feeling for her was useless now and if there was any time to admit it, now was the time.
"You are an amazing woman, Isabella Swan. You're perfect and I have never been worthy of you... not even at my best. I will work to deserve you! I love you."
It was so freeing to be able to say that and before I could gauge her reaction to my admittance that I loved her, I heard a knock and saw my father with an anxious face outside my window. I didn't hesitate to confront him, and when I climbed out of the car I let the anger flood me once more. I would not let my guard down again.
"Edward, we didn't know! We would never say that to her! Please, son, come inside and we'll sort this out." He was near hysterics and I found myself nearing that myself.
"He's lucky I didn't kill him! I want to... He...Ugh! He hurt her so badly!" I was about to go on, but then I heard my mothers screeching from my side and then a loud thud. I turned to see what had happened and then watched as she threw a brief case, a coat and then a box if cigars out of the house and hitting a Mercedes... it was my grandfathers...
I found myself staring slack jaw at the man who had caused this mess as he picked up only his briefcase and then turned to meet me head on.
"I know you like to joke around and tease us, Edward. But I always thought that at the end of the day, you would put your family first!" I was seeing red again and I began moving forward with the plans of actually shaking him or hitting him. I didn't get that far though, because I felt a small warm hand wrap around my arm and it soothed me. I stopped to look back and was met with Isabella's large, brown pleading eyes.
"No, Edward... please... it doesn't matter." he face was still tear stained and I was sure that she was shaking beneath me, but I would not scare her anymore than I had... I would not hurt her again. I took her into my arms then and did the only thing I could think of to calm me. I kissed her good and hard for the first time with an audience and when I could not sate my need for her I caressed her gorwing stomach. When we pulled back I was breathing hard and so was she... everything made sense then and after that feeling settled over me I turned to face Charles Cullen.
"I am putting my family first." I punctuated the statement by holding Bella and keeping a hand on our child. I saw the anger flash through his eyes and without another word, he got into his car and pulled away with screeching tires.
The silence of his departure left an eerie calm around us, and before I could even breath deep, my mother and father were in front of us. My mother was the one to speak though.
"Edward, Isabella... please don't go. Please... please come inside so that we can talk. We need to talk." I was about to tell her that was out of the question, but I felt Isabella pulling me forward toward the front door to their home and I followed after her willingly. I didn't know what would come of this, but if she was willing to hear them out, then so was I.