You and your heart
Shouldn't feel so apart
You can choose what you take
Why you gotta break and make it feel so hard?
-Jack Johnson; You and your heart
EPOV
When Isabella was finally asleep for the night, I was up from the bed and walking quickly toward my study. I had about a dozen things eating at me right now and at the top of the list was finding out how Tammy had gotten past security and into our home.
I knew how she got through the door... I didn't lock it when I went down stairs... I figured I would have full hands. I wasn't mistaken.
However when I walked into the bedroom and saw her standing at the foot of the bed, in MY ROOM, I flipped a fucking lid. All I could get out of my lips was for her to get out... I couldn't get the rest of my sentences out, I was too angry. What I wanted to ask her was how she knew where I lived, and why she thought she was able to just walk in. And what in Christs name was she thinking asking me to take her out on a fucking boat when my angel was resting not even two feet from her. Not only was my Isabella there, but she was pregnant and on bed rest. I had never in my life wanted to hit a woman... but damn that moment had me boiling and I'll admit that I thought very seriously about shaking the shit out of her.
When I was sitting at my desk, I made a list of all the things that needed to be dealt with. Most of them were already being handled, but I now had other things to add, like houses, nursery items, specialists... and most importantly finding a new PR representative.
I picked up my phone and called Jasper first. For an attorney, he was amazingly good natured and loyal. He had been trying to put together what the hell Jennifer.. . Or was it Jeanetter? Any way, he had been trying to find out why she was saying we and I had a sexual relationship. I had to admit, she was by far the most pathetic of this tale. At least those other women were considered a piece of ass... but as soon as I was done with Jeanette or Jennifer or whatever her name was, she would be nothing more than just a completely pathetic person. I would own up to all the rest of them... I would apologize for using them and then hurting them by having them be apart of this mess. But not Jennifer, no Jennifer was about to get a public lashing that was both verbal and personal.
"Jasper Whitlock, speaking."
"Jasper, it's Edward Cullen"
"Edward! How is the baby? And Isabella? Everyone still doing strong?" He asked in a sincere tone. It was the reason I liked Jasper, he was a genuine person.
"Isabella is doing great, man. So is our little boy... he's moving around and kicking... He's perfect." I reeled myself in... I could go on talking about him for hours it felt like. Jasper laughed and I could hear the smile in his voice as he continued on.
"That's great, Edward. Really man... congratulations." I was all smiles after that and it helped me deal with the news he was telling me about what he had found out.
"So I talked with Darren and it seems that Jessica is lying about why she got fired. It would seem that she was fired for starting a sort of hazing on Isabella."
I stiffened as I waited for him to continue. What kind of hazing had they been putting her through? My chest was tightening and I had an urge to go back in the room and hold her body to me. As if doing so would protect her... could keep the awful things she had been enduring because of me at bay.
"She had started calling her Mary... whatever that means. Anyway, when people were questioned about it, all fingers were pointed at Jessica. Darren was trying to cover Spitting Image's ass from the law suit I hit them with by firing her. He was just as shocked as the rest of us when he saw her on television saying the things she was saying."
I was doing my best not to start trashing my office. I was really, really trying not to yell and I was trying even harder not to throw up. I hated the fact that I had let that little bitch talk about Isabella like that. She was carrying my son... she was pregnant when I listened to that girl talk about her, and I had known it. Isabella had been hurting so much, and it was just one more thing in the already fucked up scenario of how I had failed her, treated her badly and didn't deserve her. How the hell was I going to come back from that? I could hear my fathers words echoing through my head as I tried with everything inside of me to hold onto the hope he had given me "You can come back from anything..." It was the only thing keeping me from falling to the ground and crumbling right now.
"Jasper... I really really want her to go down. I want her called out on all of this... I don't mean I want her to just be silenced, I want her going public and saying what a liar she is. I want that bitch on Oprah telling the world she was just a jealous cunt who wanted to be seen as a whore. Because that is what she is Jasper. A fucking... Ugh!"
"I will take care of it, Edward... just... calm down. Go take care of Isabella, of your son. I'll deal with all of this." It was the only thing he could have said to me in that moment to make me relax. I anxiously hung up with his promise of updating me tomorrow and made my way back to the master bedroom where my sweet girl was sleeping. As soon as I walked in I breathed easier. She was resting so peacefully and the small smile on her face told me that she was happy. At least in her dream she was.
I didn't bother with anything other than stripping down to my boxers and crawling in bed beside her. I pressed myself up against her back and wrapped my arms around her and exhaled as I felt complete again. I could feel that she was using her pillow that my mom had picked up for her. I had read about it online at a parenting sight. They were all the rave and I wanted Bella to have anything and everything that would make her feel better.
I closed my eyes and just relished the feel of her skin beneath my fingers. How did I go through all that time without this? How did I walk away from this beautiful, warm, loving and perfect woman? I had no answer for it... I was an idiot...
I ran my hands over her growing belly and smiled at the fullness of it. She was getting bigger... and I absolutely adored it. I could never get enough of it... of touching her growing stomach. I didn't know what it was... but it was as if I were pulled to it by nature. From the first time I realized she was still carrying him... when I kissed her outside her home. I couldn't stop touching her... the need only grew every time I was around her, it was never sated. My addiction only escalated with every time I did it. I let my hands trail up her arms and just before I could intertwine our fingers, my own came in contact with her bracelet. I smiled in the dark room as I remembered how much she liked it. I made a mental note to buy her something else and soon. I wanted her to have something new and beautiful every day, but I knew she would not be so receptive. She was one of a kind, no other woman I had ever known would have fought nice things on a daily basis, but Isabella was different, she was unique and special. I would only ever buy her pieces that were the same.
"Edward" she breathed out.
I froze my exploring hands and tried to tame my anatomy that had just responded to that moan accompanied by my name.
"Are you awake, Baby?" I asked in a low voice. She didn't respond and after a few seconds I peeked over her shoulder to see if she was asleep or not. Her eyes were closed but she was smiling. I smiled in return and dropped a kiss to her shoulder before laying back and relishing the fact that she was dreaming about me... and it wasn't even a nightmare. I needed to make things right. I couldn't let myself screw this up, she was too important to me. She was my life now. I let that sink in as we lay there in the dark room that was lit only by the moon.
Sleep didn't come easy for me that night, my conscience was too heavy. However I was at least able to lay awake with the most beautiful, warm and lovely woman in my arms. It made the punishment feel almost like a reward.
As the next few weeks went by many different things changed. Isabella's settlement came to a close and she now had her own little nest egg in her account. I could see that it was a huge relief for her to have it. I knew she was still worried about things not working out between us, and even though I assured her that I would never let her be without, she still didn't let herself depend on me fully. I could understand that, but I still didn't like it. I knew I had no right to be hurt by it, I had so much to prove to her, but it didn't stop the rejection from flooding me anyway.
Along with everything else, we were only a few days away from Isabella's check up with Dr Scance. She hadn't had any more episodes of bleeding, but she had some discomfort. I had Dr Scance come to our home and do an exam to make sure she was okay, and it turned out that her belly was just growing. He assured us that she was experiencing the baby getting bigger and that her body was just adjusting to accommodate him. All the same though, I kept a watch over her like a hawk, I would not take chances with her... with either of them.
"Isabella please just stop moving!" I begged her. She was about to get up and do something, so I went to her and laid her back with a kiss to her forehead. "Just tell me what you want, baby... I'll get it."
"Edward, I need to move my legs... if I don't that's just as bad for the baby too... I could get blood clots from lack of circulation." her words were calm. But her face was irritated. I didn't have a comeback for her reasoning so I relented but with a lot of hesitation. There was just no winning either way. I helped her up and when I was sure she was steady, I let her walk around the room and go to her dresser.
"Edward... is there...?" she stopped her sentence but she had peaked my interest. She was about to ask for something and it took everything I had not to start salivating with the prospect of giving her whatever it was she wanted. This was a rare moment... Isabella never asked for anything. She asked for absolutely nothing! It was absolutely maddening.
I was beside her in an instant and awaiting the rest of her sentence. She met my eyes and I could see her soft skin tinted pink by her embarrassment. I didn't want her to be ashamed for wanting anything... I would gladly giver her the stars if I could do it.
"Is there what, love?" I had done my absolute best to make my voice sound calm, but I heard my excitement even in my own ears.
"Is there maybe a terrace? I would really like to just sit outside for a while." Her words were soft and slightly embarrassed. It was more than likely because she was afraid I would say no and then try to find a way to build one. She wasn't far off though... I probably would have. I made a mental not to make sure we had a deck and a terrace in the home I would either A. buy or B. build.
I pulled her into my arms and kissed her face all over. She seemed to like that and sighed in contentment as she ran her hands under my t shirt to scratch my back. I ran nose gently from her cheek to her earlobe and used it to push back the hair that was in my way. "We actually have a very nice Terrace around the other part of the penthouse... give me a moment to get it all set up for you and I we will go out there together... okay?" I nibbled on hear ear a little after I said it and I felt her shudder in my arms before stuttering out her approval.
She obliged me and sat down until I was ready for her to come outside. I set up the chairs, wiped down the tables and was about to go inside and make her some lunch, but Esmeralda was scolding me in Spanish for doing her job. I kissed her cheek and she stopped, but she still made me stop what I was doing. I told her Bella and I would be outside for a bit and without another word she turned and went to the kitchen and brought out what she had already prepared for us. I smiled and thanked her as she set our plates on the table and poured the iced tea in our glasses. At that, I turned back to the room to get Bella and when I walked in the room I saw her sitting anxiously in the same place I had left her.
When we made it outside she was all smiles and then even giddier when she saw the food that Esmeralda had prepared for us. We spent about two hours sitting outside and just talking. We didn't really speak of anything vital, just simple things. By the end of our time outside I had spilled my dream of wanting to start my own company and how I saw it all playing out. Isabella was nothing short of supportive, she even gave me ideas about how to get certain publicity achieved. She was absolutely brilliant at her job, she knew the in's and out's like the back of her hand and I knew that the two of us together would be an amazing pair. Not to brag or anything, but I could see my business drowning the competition in no time. And with Isabella... well, it would be that much easier. I hinted at doing it together, but I don't think she took me seriously. I decided I would visit the topic at another time. When she was ready for a nap, we went inside and we spent the rest of the day in bed.
The next two days flew by. Between the growing list of things to do and the press conference that was scheduled for the end of the week, I was searching for the stretch of time that had once accompanied mine and Isabella's days. I could tell she was going crazy now that she was in the homestretch of her bed rest and that's why I scheduled her appointment for first thing in the morning instead of later in the day.
It was six in the morning right now and I was watching Bella do her hair and put her make up on at the vanity set I had purchased for her earlier in the month. I sat patiently in the reading chair off to her right and smiled as she pinned her curls and swirled a small make up brush over her skin. I was happy to just be in her presence.
"Are you ready to get this show on the road?" she called out over her shoulder to me. I smiled and went to her immediately to help her up. She simply rolled her eyes and took my hand as we made our way out of the penthouse and into the elevator. When we were safely inside and descending the floors one beep at a time, she turned to me placed her head on my chest.
"Thank you for taking care of me this last month... I just know the baby is going to be perfectly healthy, but all the same, it's because you took such good care of us." It was something that was supposed to make me happy, but instead it felt like a knife to the heart. All I had done was care for her... I made sure she was comfortable, that she had eaten well and was happy... they were things that any man would do for the woman carrying his child... they were things she had gone without for sixteen weeks.
"I'm just sorry that I did it late, Isabella. If I had been doing it from the start then your bed rest may have not even been necessary..." she silenced me with her hand over my mouth.
"Today is going to be a good day, Edward. I can feel it. Let's just enjoy it alright?" I wouldn't dream of making her day anything less than perfect, so I went ahead and let it drop and smiled.
"Anything for you, love... anything." I brought our lips together and wrapped my arm around her waist while the other caressed the top of her belly. If things went well today and Dr Scance gave us a green light, I was going to worship her body fully and with purpose. I felt my breaths coming on heavier and faster while thoughts about her warm body assaulted my mind and before I could collect myself, the doors opened and the sounds of clicking and questions swarmed us. I heard Bella gasp and before I even knew what we were facing , I threw myself in front of her and did my best to shield her.
"Edward is it true that Isabella is living with you?"
"Are you just looking out for her welfare or your personal image?"
"Mr Cullen, when is the baby due? Is it a boy or a girl? What will happen with Cullen Inc now that you are no longer the predecessor?"
I scanned the room and saw that the buildings security guards were doing their best to keep the crowd from approaching. I knew we needed to get going, I also knew that no matter where we were going we would have to face this today. I tucked Bella into my side and we began moving but no sooner than our first three steps, they were throwing questions her way.
"Isabella, have you forgiven Edward for being with the other women?"
"Isabella, did you see the pictures of Edward having intimate relationships with women while you were going to doctors visits? How did that make you feel? Are you going to tell us about your plans for the future?"
I cringed as I heard the ugly details of my past thrown out to her as if it were just basic knowledge or even a suitable statement. I was instantly frightened that she would start cramping and the baby would be harmed as well as my love, so I moved us along faster and before they could swarm us completely, Bella was in the car and I was pulling out onto the road.
"Are you alright, sweetheart? Do you feel okay?" I reached out to caress her cheek as I waited for her to answer.
"I'm okay, it was just a wake up call to see them all down there... It made being on bed rest rather pleasant in comparison." she sounded more amused than anything.
"I'm sorry, Love." And I was... truly I was. I doubt that when she said today would be perfect, that she meant we would be bombarded with the press on the way to her check up.
"It's okay... I mean, I guess I should just get used to it right?" she didn't sound upset, instead she sounded rather chipper and I wondered if she was feeling okay. I almost said those very words aloud but she took one look at my face and started laughing.
"I'm just glad to be out of bed, Edward. I would happily take the walking away from pictures as opposed to being bed ridden all day long. I enjoy movement far too much for that." When she put it that way, it made complete sense. I grinned at her and then held her hand in my own as we made our way to the doctors office.
Thankfully no one was outside the building when we arrived and I took that opportunity to get my love out of the car and inside as quickly as possible. I wasn't sure if the press had simply just come by the penthouse on a whim or of they were tipped off, but the good thing about this appointment was that the only ones who knew about it were Isabella, myself and the doctor. Not even my parents were privy to what the day had in store for us.
As soon as we signed in, the nurse ushered us back into the exam room and I helped Isabella into her gown. When she was all set and resting comfortably on the bed, there was a soft knock on the door and then Dr Scance made his way in.
"Welcome back you two. How are you feeling Isabella? Ready to be a functioning person again?" I could only smile at the relieved expression she wore as he teased her.
He went over her month of downtime with us and then dove straight in for the belly exam and a sonogram.
He was fine... our little boy was just fine. Dr Scance assured us that everything was back to normal and that that little episode last month was due to all the stress Isabella had been under. I made mental notes not to let her stress or be stressed, but then Dr Scance told us we were able to go back to intimacy but that we had to be gentle and build up to anything physical. That pretty much took over all of the thoughts in my mind.
I ended up having many questions in that area, and about a half hour later and with all of our questions answered, Dr Scance left the room and I helped my love get redressed.
"What would you like to have for breakfast sweetheart? Just name it and it is yours." I kissed her nose as I helped her slip her jean skirt back on and when she was fully dressed she looked up and met my eyes.
"I wouldn't mind a nice omelet, maybe some juice..." she said with a hint of embarrassment. She would always word things as if she was waiting for me to tell her no. I would need to work on making that go away.
When we left the office, I drove us to a little bistro tucked away in the city. I was happy to see that for this moment in time the cameras that had been waiting for us this morning were nowhere to be seen. We got a table out on the patio so Bella could enjoy the weather and sat down. When we ordered and the server had just brought over our orange juices, the sounds of camera clicking was once again in full motion. I looked over to Isabella and saw that instead of giving them any attention, she merely grabbed the paper she had bought before we walked in and started reading. I saw in awe for a moment and then called out to her.
"Love... do you still want to eat here? We can go home if you'd like... Esmeralda could make us omelets..." she just smiled sweetly, rubbed her stomach and then went back to her paper. I could only smile as I watched her trying to be nonchalant in this moment of chaos around us. She meant it when she said she was going to try and get used to it... at least while the topic of us was still a fresh one.
Eventually the clicks dwindled down and the heavy hitters had called it a day... at least for this photo opt. When our food was in front of us, we started to talk.
"Edward, I think I would like to maybe look at some baby furniture..." I popped my head up from my omelet and I was nodding my head yes. Even though I was clearly agreeing with her, she still felt the need to explain. "It's just that I would like to get some ideas... to see what's out there..."
"Isabella... we can go wherever you want sweetheart... but do you mind if we only do a little at a time... just day by day? You just got off bed rest and Dr Scance said you still need to take it easy." She crinkled her nose and smiled.
"You're right... I'm just excited to be out of the house." I felt bad for her... she'd been cooped up in the penthouse for the last month and she was pretty much wide eyed and rosy cheeks while she took in the mid-morning sunlight and breeze.
The rest of breakfast was spent in companinable conversation about the baby, his nursery and believe it or not houses. I told her about a few that I had looked into and we made plans to go see a couple of them later in the week. All this coupled with the sight of her wearing the bracelet I'd gotten her and rubbing her belly. She was a beautiful sight.
As I paid the check and helped her to her feet, the sound of a breath hitching and very low 'shit' caught my attention. Bella heard it too and we both turned to the direction of where it came from.
There coming out of the restaurant and out to the patio was Jennifer... or was it Jeanette? Whatever her name was, she was staring at us as we stared right back. I felt all the hate I had for her rush to the surface. I looked down to Bella and saw she had been watching me... no doubt looking for a sign that I was nervous for this confrontation.
On the contrary though, I was ready for this. I kissed my loves head and started walking forward, however it was Jennifer that was looking for the nearest exit so that she wouldn't have to come within two feet of us. She was shit out of luck though, because the only way out was the way she came in and as it were, we were going through the same door.
I knew it, she knew it... and the camera's clicking somewhere in the background knew it.
"You!" I started out. For one, I didn't know her real name, and two, she was lucky that my love was beside me or I would of used words that were less civilized and out right degrading.
Before I could make my way to her face and thoroughly rip into her, I felt Isabella pull my hand gently to get my attention.
"I believe you, Edward... I know you didn't do anything with her. Don't make a spectacle, baby... that's what she's counting on, it's what she wants."
It took everything I had to just stand there. I could hear reporters throwing questions at all three of us and what felt like an eternity was in all actuality only forty five seconds. I was literally shaking as we began to walk past her and just when I thought we were in the clear and that she wouldn't open her mouth and make me want to back hand her, she went ahead and did.
"Jesus Bella... you're fat!" I stopped walking and turned to see her looking at my love with disgust. Her mouth was open and everything. I pulled Isabella into my arms and rubbed at our son while I said what I needed to say.
"She's pregnant, Jeanette, not fat. She's carrying my child. Don't worry, no one expects you to know how baby's are conceived... because you don't even know what the definition of a sexual relationship is. We wouldn't expect anyone who thinks that a handshake and a bottle of water is intimate... wait... am I using too big of words? Should I dumb it down for you?" She was looking at me as if I just slapped her. Good. I wanted to.
I turned to the cameras then and made a statement. "I have never been with this." I simply pointed to Jeanette as cameras went off and questions were thrown out way. I didn't answer them, and instead just continued on with my own words. "I have done a lot wrong... I cannot and will not deny that I was with those other women... So why would I need to lie about this one? The answer is that I don't. She's either looking for fifteen minutes of fame or she's just more twisted in the head than I really thought. Either way, she's lying."
When I said my peace Isabella and I had a clean break to the car. Everyone seemed to stay behind to interrogate Jeanette and that meant we were free to go on our way home. As soon as we pulled out onto the street, I felt Isabella grab my hand and squeeze it. I glanced her way and saw that her face was very serious and not as happy as it had been earlier.
"I'm sorry, love... I just... well I just needed to say that. I didn't mean to put you in the spotlight like that." She turned to me then and gave me a lazy grin, but said nothing.
Halfway to the house though, she finally broke her silence. "Edward... do you think...?" I wanted to pull over so I could give her my full attention, and ask her to continue, but she continued on her own. "Do you think we could stop at a store... I really do need some better fitting maternity stuff... what I have right now is kind of uncomfortable... and I wont be wearing my yoga pants all day now that I'm off bed rest... and I want to look nice if were gonna be in front of cameras all the time... and.."
I chuckled with relief and kissed the back of the hand I was holding. Only Isabella would feel the need to explain wanting to shop. I was happy to be able to do it, happy she was still in good spirits after everything.
"Baby, just tell me what store and consider it done. We'll get you anything you need, sweetheart." She smiled and breathed out sharply before nodding her head and saying one more thing.
"Thank you... for defending me... for making the way I look sound beautiful." I felt relief flood me at her words. She felt beautiful... just as she should.
"Isabella, you are beautiful... your growing belly is just adding to the appeal. You're bringing a new life into the world... into our world. I love you."
She simple smiled and the blush that was once pink turned red. With one last glance my way she whispered out, "I love you too, Edward... I always have."
Today was going to be a good day.
AN: I sent out the hoochie POV's... and with that I would like to say that No, she did not have a key ;) See you on Twitter : /ccmaj