EPOV
I had heard once that you don't know the biggest day of your life is the biggest day until your in it. Right now, I was right in the middle of it.
After my love had begun having contractions at the new house, I immediately took her back to the penthouse. I was nervous, but I was still thinking rationally. I had listened to everything that Dr. Scance said at each and every appointment, and I knew that as much as I wanted to take Bella straight to the hospital, we needed to wait it out just a little while longer. Her contractions were at least an hour apart, so the waiting game began.
When we had arrived back at the Penthouse, I practically carried her all the way up. I was anxious and excited that the event we had been waiting so long for had finally come to be; Caleb was on his way. I thought I was doing a great job in the staying calm department, but when I helped Isabella onto the bed, she was giggling and rubbing at my arms.
"How are you feeling, baby?" I was glad she was in good spirits and that the pain was not too bad yet, but I hated that it would only get worse, and sadly, there would be nothing I could do about it.
"I'm more concerned about you right now. You look like you're going to have a nervous breakdown." she teased.
"I..I...really? And here I thought I was doing a great job in being calm and collected." I felt a bit relieved now that she said it though, because the stress of trying to be perfect right now had been eating at me. I had failed her so miserably in the beginning of this journey; - failed Caleb as well. I knew it was too late to change the past, but I would do everything in my power to change my son's story.
What did that mean? It meant that his story wouldn't be that his mother told his father about him and bailed. It meant that when he heard this twisted tale of pain I had spun, he would hear that I was nothing without his mother and him in my life. He would hear how I did everything right before he came home... how I loved his mother while she brought him into this world. I would change his story.
"You're absolutely perfect just being you, Edward. You love me so completely and fully that this feels right... I know it wont later... but I wouldn't want to change a thing about this day or the way you have been taking care of us."
I felt relief at her words, I needed that reassurance. All the same though I helped her into her maternity yoga attire, crawled in bed and settled my body behind hers. Bella and I sat that way for a long while just practicing her breathing and rubbing at our son. It was the most intimate moment of my life. I couldn't seem to hold her close enough... tight enough. I would always want more.
Contractions progressed slowly and at around six in the evening my father called to get an update and give one on the house. I had told him we were taking it easy, that Isabella was doing amazing at home right now and that we were about twenty minutes apart on contractions. After I told my father that he informed me that the house was fully furnished now... all except for Caleb's nursery.
"I didn't want to step on anyone's toes, Son. So we didn't touch it or move anything around. I know how much it would mean to Isabella to decorate it to her likings on her own."
I nodded my agreement and was about to share it, but with Isabella sitting smack dab in between my legs, she heard everything my father said and gently grabbed the phone.
"Carlisle? It's Bella." I knew she wasn't angry or upset, so I continued to rub gently along her stomach in attempt to calm her body while she endured this pain for us, but as she was speaking, a strong contraction hit and I could feel the tightness beneath my fingers.
"Ugh!" she exclaimed. I cringed for her but in an instant she was talking through it... granted her words were very strained. "I... I think... that," she took a deep breath before continuing,"I think that if the movers are still there... than they... should... put the room together..." I was about to tell her that we could do it later, but I decided to keep my mouth shut. Isabella knew what she wanted always and she wouldn't have said it if she didn't mean it. "He'll be here soon, Carlisle."
I had never felt so elated in all of my life. My son was going to be home soon. When she handed me the phone back, I felt her head rest against my shoulder and I knew from that gesture that her pain was getting worse. I went ahead and wrapped up my call and when my phone was discarded, I decided that now was a good time to start double checking Isabella's bags.
"Love, I'm going to do a once over on your hospital bag... can I get you anything to drink or maybe a light snack?" I remembered Dr. Scance saying in her last appointment that if she were to labor at home for the first half, then it would be wise to eat before the hospital... because they wouldn't feed her otherwise.
Isabella just shook her head and cringed a little again. I tensed... it hadn't even been a full five minutes.
"Love, are you having another contraction?" I did what I could to keep my voice even, but it was of no use. My words were scared and cracked.
My love gave me a confused look and then fear crossed her lovely face. "It hurts... but... not the way a contraction has been hurting."
My heart fell to my feet and the fear of every horrible scenario came crashing into my head. I couldn't loose them. I had just fully gotten them... I hadn't had enough time with them yet, I couldn't loose them.
In an instant, I was off the bed and on searching for a phone. When I spotted my cell, I snatched it up and dialed Dr. Scance's home number. He gave it to us after I refused to let anyone else be on standby for Isabella. He answered on the first ring.
"Scance residence."
"Dr. Scance, this is Edward Cullen. I'm calling for my wife Isabella Cullen." Just saying her name was therapeutic, but in this instance it wasn't enough. I told him what my love had told me and as soon as I finished my sentence and we answered some standard questions about bleeding, I was instructed to bring Isabella into the hospital.
"Love, Dr. Scance will meet us at the hospital. Would you like to stay in what you're wearing?" I was off the bed and gathering her bag from the chase lounger in the corner, but when she didn't say anything, I stopped and turned to find her silently crying on the bed where I had left her.
In that instance it wasn't the moment we were in... it was the moment I had asked her why she would even want this. Why she would want our son. And I began to cry as well.
If anything went wrong... it would be my fault. It would be Karma giving me a visit... it would be my doing... my punishment, not Isabella's.
I went to her immediately, took her face into my hands and peppered her with kisses. When I had reached all of her lovely face, I fell to my knees and kissed our son.
"Everything is going to be alright sweetheart. Caleb will be just fine. Dr. Scance just wants to make sure that everything is alright with him... no need to be alarmed." I wasn't sure I sounded as confident as I wanted to, but my words didn't reach her, Bella was lost inside her own head.
"Edward, I'm scared... what if... what if..."
"None of that, love. You have been doing an amazing job... everything is going to be okay." I wanted to say I promise at the end of that sentence, but I couldn't. I hated that I couldn't.
I called down stairs for assistance with bags and the car, then helped my love to the elevator. When she was buckled in and safely ready to depart, we were off to the hospital and hopefully the next time we were in a car... our son would be with us.
BPOV
Caleb was fine it turned out... he was just in a hurry. My contractions had been hurting a little more because he had been preparing to exit the body. My son was a doer... yep, toddler hood would be lot's of fun.
"Just a few more pushes, Bella,... you're almost there."
I was sweaty, sore and down right exhausted. I was doing this naturally... because I was an idiot.
"Baby, your doing so good, you're so strong. Caleb, is almost here, sweetheart, he'll be here and we can hold him."
Edwards words were the only thing in this world that could have made me continue, because I was perfectly content with letting Caleb hang out in there for another week or so. I knew I couldn't though, so with a little help from my husband and a few encouraging words from my nurse, I prepared to push for what I hoped was the last time.
"...and push!" Dr. Scance instructed. So I did.
I can only explain it one way... and the words aren't even my own... I got them from a TV show. This was like doing the splits over a crate of dynamite... while cursing like a sailor. I knew this was all for a good reason, and that my little boy was going to absolutely be worth it, but if I could have given Edward some of this pain... then trust me when I say, I would have.
In the moment that I was pushing our little boy into the world, I heard the man that had stolen my heart begin to sob.
"Isabella, I can see him, love.. I can see his head... he's here! You're doing it baby, almost there... thank you... my god, thank you so much, baby." I was about to tell him I needed help, but before I could even take another breath, I felt the absolute need to push, so I bared down and gave everything I could into it. I wanted to pass out from exhaustion, but then my ears heard the sweetest sound... my baby was crying.
At precisely 2:46 am, Caleb Anthony Cullen arrived in this world weighing 7lbs and 18 inches.
The cries of my son were the most precious I had ever heard. I looked frantically for him but my search was short lived as I felt Edward hug my body and pepper my face with kisses. When he pulled back, the nurse who had been my cheerleader through this birth handed me what I had been dyng to see for the last nine months.
Caleb came into the world with light brown hair, copper tints and green eyes. I couldn't stop kissing his soft hair or stroking his creamy skin. I could feel Edwards kisses on my temple and then his hands joined mine near Caleb's hair as he spoke.
"Isabella...I..." it took him a moment to continue and when he did, his voice was cracking. "He's amazing, sweetheart. Thank you...for everything."
If I hadn't experienced it first hand, I would have never believed that a person could give themselves over completely with out words. But that is exactly what happened to me. Caleb had stolen my heart, and he hadn't even been one minute old. No matter what Edward would buy me, no matter what he would promise me... nothing would be greater than the little boy I was holding in my arms. This was the greatest gift Edward would ever give me.
"He's perfect," I whispered.
Edward pulled the both of us closer to his chest in an attempt to get closer. His arms were literally shaking and as he held us I could faintly hear him whispering to himself... I didn't think I was supposed to of heard him, so I didn't respond when I heard his soft spoken words. "I almost missed this... I would of missed this."
I turned gently and kissed his jaw before offering Caleb to him. When he opened his eyes, the most brilliant smile erupted over his face. He was complete... I could see that in his eyes.
"Would you like to hold your son?" The brilliant smile he had been wearing dropped immediately and was replaced with an ancient sadness as he leaned down to kiss my eyes. When he pulled back his forehead stayed rested against my own as he spoke.
"I love you for many reasons, Isabella... but right now... in this moment... I can promise you that no one has ever loved another as much as I love you."
I understood what he meant... because even if he had never come back to me, if he had left me and never came back, I could not hate him, because Caleb was a part of him... and without one you couldn't have the other.
EPOV
As I held my son in my arms, my life suddenly felt rather small. I had seen things in my life, but nothing I would consider extraordinary. I had been successful, but I had never done anything so well that I was sure no one could rival it. Until today.
I couldn't take my eyes off of him, I couldn't fathom ever having to be away from him even for a second. He owned me... Bella owned me... I was no longer a single entity. We were a unit, and I would never ever do these two wrong. I would work hard every day to earn them, because right now... I didn't deserve either one of them.
It was no grand affair, I can assure you that. Hospitals are the pits... no matter what the situation. I hated that during the night, Isabella was woken from her peaceful sleep for check ups, though I knew they were necessary. I hated that Caleb was poked and prodded to no end while all he wanted was some peace and quiet.
By the time morning rolled around, I was ready to gather my family and make a run for it. Bella didn't seem to be opposed to the idea either!
Caleb's birth had been a very intimate setting for Isabella and I. Since she went into delivery at 2am, my parents decided they would be here bright and early instead of right away, so that Bella could rest and Caleb wouldn't be overwhelmed.
My God! My son was here... this was real. I was a father now.
I had that thought all evening. After he was born, I basically begged Isabella to keep him in the room with us. She didn't put up a fight and was happy to oblige.
So after his bath and his first feeding from my love, Caleb and I were inseparable. Time didn't seem to drag anymore, if anything, it seemed to have begun speeding up. As my love slept, I rocked our son and paced the room with him. I couldn't stop looking at him. I was afraid that if I took my eyes away for even a moment, he would disappear... like this was all a dream.
When he slept, I slept. When he woke up... I arose with him. After the final check up of the morning came at 6am, all three of us were up for good. As much as I didn't want to hand him over, I did. I watched from the perch of Isabella's bed as she fed our son and cooed to him while stroking his unique hair and smiling the entire time. The way she lit up while watching him had me weak in the knees for her.
I sat silently in that moment, and wondered again how I could have ever walked away from this perfect creature. She was exquisite, warm and loving. She loved me more than I deserved or would ever be worthy of, but she did it anyway. I sat in this loving and amazing moment and berated myself for ever saying the word abortion. My son was immaculate... he was... he was ours. I should have cherished that right away... but I hadn't and that knowledge was making the feat of enjoying this that much harder. I was still going over things in my head when there was a knock at the door. We had a private suite in the hospital, so when the door didn't swing open with a nurse or a doctor, I knew we now had our first visitor... or visitors.
I looked to my love and saw the nervous expression she was wearing as she fed Caleb. I could only imagine she didn't want anyone other than myself seeing her exposed so much while she fed him... at least that's how I felt.
I got up instantly as I called out just enough for the guest to hear but not loud enough to startle my little boy. "Just one moment, please"
I sat beside my love and watched as my son drifted off into sleep once more now that he was full and fed. I couldn't help but smile indulgently as I leaned down to kiss his head then to kiss my love's lips. I had never felt so absolutely complete in all my life... I doubt I would have felt this way if this were with anyone other than Isabella.
When I pulled away from her lips I ran my fingers through her hair and she relaxed into my touch. "Don't hurry, love. They can wait... you and Caleb come first. Okay?" She bit her lip, smiled and nodded as she dropped her gaze back to our little one and watched him in awe.
"I think he's done now anyway," she whispered with a giggle. I looked down to see Caleb's eyes closed, his mouth open and his tiny hand curled into a fist near his cheek. His milk source was now forgotten and he was dreaming happy dreams... at least that's what I figured as his little mouth turned up into a grin.
When my love was all covered up again, I got off the bed and went to the door to let my parents in, however when I opened the door, it wasn't my mom and dad.
Staring back at me was my grandfather... and in his arms were an array of balloons, flowers and bear wearing a raincoat.
I stood there staring back at him absolutely at a loss of what to do. He had come... how he knew, and why he was here were lost on me. I couldn't even wrap my head around it. Just as I was about to step outside and talk to him in private, Isabella, called out for him to enter. Granted... she didn't know it was Charles.
"Come in and meet Caleb!" she half whispered and called out.
I stood there for a brief second and thought seriously about telling him to leave, but as he stepped forward he whispered only for me to hear, "I am not here to cause trouble, Edward. I promise."
Reluctantly, I stepped aside and he moved past me and fully inside the suite. I turned quickly to see Bella's reaction but it was the same as it was when I had gotten up to answer the door. She was completely and utterly happy. Not even my grandfather could kill her mood. I smiled and went to her immediately.
As I took my place beside her on the bed, I kissed her cheek and wrapped my arms around her form as she cradled our son over her shoulder and attempted to burp him. She was an absolute natural at this... it was as if she were always meant to be his mother. I felt warmth spread through me at the knowledge that it was probably true. There would never be anyone for me but Isabella... and she was meant to bring our family to fruition.
I was pulled from my daydreaming when Isabella acknowledged, Charles. "Good morning, Charles. Thank you for coming."
She was the most selfless woman on this planet. She had endured labor, given natural birth and was running on a sporadic five hours of sleep... and still she was being cordial and welcoming to the man that had been so cruel to her.
"Thank you for that warm welcome, Isabella. How are you feeling?"
His words were choppy... nervous. This was taking a great deal of pride for him to be here. But whether it was shame or frustration that was causing his words to falter, I had no idea.
"I feel amazingly refreshed actually." Her words were happy and satisfied as she cuddled Caleb closer for a kiss. I smiled impossibly wider when Caleb burrowed his head into her neck for a cuddle.
"Is that... I mean... what did..." He was trying to ask about my son, but he couldn't seem to get the words out. I decided to take a page from Isabella's book and soothe his discomfort.
"This is Caleb Anthony Cullen... our son." I said it while watching the two most important people in my life. When I didn't hear a response, I turned to see what his expression looked like.
My grandfather stood there with his hands full and his mouth open. He was speechless. I tensed immediately, because I wasn't sure if he was going to cause a scene, but then in an instant it hit me. He didn't know.
My parent's hadn't told him that our baby was a boy. He really was in the dark about everything. I stood then and silently asked Isabella with my eyes if I could take the baby. She simply smiled, kissed his copper tints and gracefully placed him in my arms. I felt whole again as he rested peacefully in my arms and after adjusting to the rightness of it all I moved toward my grandfather so he could get a better look.
"He's absolutely perfect," I said to my grandfather. He seemed to collect himself and then turned to place the yellow and white duck balloons to the side as well as the bear. I watched as he stepped to Bella and handed her the elaborate bouquet of Freesia and Japanese lantern flowers. I knew what they meant... but did Bella?
I didn't have to wait to find out, because he went ahead and told her.
"The freesia and Japanese lantern flowers mean Congratulations. Congratulations, Isabella. He's beautiful." I smiled proudly down to my son as he began sucking on his fist.
"Thank you Mr. Cullen, they're beautiful." I felt a pull of sadness that she had to call him that. I knew why she did, but all the same it hurt all over again that my grandfather hadn't been accepting of her.
"Please call me Charles, Isabella... were family."
"Thank you, Charles... the flowers are beautiful."
He simply nodded and smiled her way before turning to me and Caleb. I watched as he searched frantically for something and then his victorious smile as he found the bear in a raincoat.
"This is for the baby... it's a... it's a tradition." I was confused now. What had I not known about that was happening right now? A bear in a raincoat? I didn't get it. My grandfather must have read that over my face because he chuckled while he answered.
"It's a Paddington Bear... all the newborn Cullen's get one." I was still confused by the gesture, but I didn't really care. As Bella had said before... he was making an effort and if we were going to get past this, then I needed to grab the olive branch he had just put forth.
"Did I get one when I was born?" I teased. My grandfather simply nodded and stepped forward to get a better look at mine and Isabella's son. He handed me the bear and watched Caleb with absolute excitement and curiosity.
"He got that unmistakable hair of yours didn't he?" he teased. I ever so gently skimmed my fingers over it and nodded.
"Yeah, but he got Bella's beauty."period after beauty As I said it I looked to my gorgeous wife and winked. She simply rolled her eyes and blushed.
"Would you like to hold him?" I asked. Charles' eyes went wide and then nervous.
"Oh..I don't think... I mean he's so small... I don't know how... to..."
"It's been a while, but it's like riding a bike... you never forget." With that I stepped forward to place him in Charles' arms, but before I could reach him, he stepped back, stuttered a quick goodbye and was retreating for the door.
I was offended! Why wouldn't he hold my son? Was this all a ruse? I was about to say those very words aloud, but then Bella spoke.
"Thank you for coming today, Charles. We really appreciate the gesture."
My grandfather paused at the door without turning the handle and spun to face Bella as he spoke.
"You are far too kind, Isabella. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be here. Caleb is beautiful... a real Cullen... a real treasure."
He turned then and pulled the door open and just as he was about to leave he turned once more and said one last thing, "I am so sorry for how I have behaved...This should be a day of joy, and if I stayed it would only be a damper. I don't want you to have any bad thoughts on your amazing day. I'll be in touch."
And with that he turned and walked out of the door, leaving Isabella, Caleb and I to our thoughts... well at least Bella and I to our thoughts. Caleb was too busy sucking on his fist. I was just about to comment, but seconds later my mother and father came through the door bearing bags upon bags of things for the baby and Isabella. We would just have to deal with everything later, because right now my parents were about to meet Caleb for the first time ever.