He didn't understand why Isabella would be the one to bear so much heartache in life. She was so warm, loving and lovely. It made no sense to him that she would be put through some of the worst situations in life.
As he sat beside her bed and held vigil for any sign of movement, he couldn't help but look back at all she'd endured from him alone. He'd dragged her along selfishly in his world and kept her hidden like a dirty secret. He'd abandoned her and their son when she'd needed him most. His fists clenched as he remembered seeing how resigned she'd looked at the Gala. She must have been terrified thinking that she'd have to raise their child alone…
"Mr. Cullen…?" The nurse popped her head through the door and was followed closely by two others. He didn't bother moving for them, because he honestly didn't think he could. "We need to examine her now; maybe you'd like to get a cup of coffee…"
He was already shaking his head no and holding her hand more securely. He wasn't leaving her, because he was absolutely positive that she would wake up in his absence and be scared without him.
He was prepared to stand his ground if need be, but apparently they could see that the words, "visiting hours" and "Seclusion" didn't apply to men like him. Bella was his entire life…and he would be damned if anything less than God pulled him from her side right now.
They worked around him, each doing something different to Isabella's delicate body. He stayed holding her hand and kissing her cheek as the nurse at her feet settled into a chair and began checking her dilation. She'd made little progress since she'd been brought by ambulance; it was as if her body had simply shut down. When he'd seen her eyes as he'd found her in pain, she'd been shaking uncontrollably, but whether it was from fear or pain he didn't know.
She'd already been unconscious for five minutes by the time an ambulance had arrived, and Edward had barely been in his right mind to realize he couldn't ride in the ambulance with her. Instead he'd packed up Caleb half hazardly and made a frantic phone call to his parents. They'd met him at the hospital to take Caleb, but he barely remembered speaking to them now.
"She's at 4 centimeters now." He nodded in acknowledgment but didn't take his eyes from Bella. He vaguely heard another nurse commenting on vitals and was prepared to tune everyone out until he grasped that it was about Lilly.
"Is my daughter okay!" a fear so strong swept through his body as he awaited an answer. It felt as if ice had crept its way through his system and was seizing his heart.
"She's got a dangerous heart rate anytime Isabella has a contraction. I think it could develop into a much worse situation if it persists. My recommendation is to give Bella a C-Section as soon as possible."
His gut tightened and his vision became blurry. He didn't know what to say or what to do. It was always Bella that walked him through things like this…who helped him understand the positive and negatives. He wanted nothing more in that moment than to break down and cry, but he knew he couldn't. He had to be strong now…for both his girls.
Somewhere in the abyss that was his mind, he knew Bella would want Lilly out and as safe as possible. It was the only reason he could nod his head and move from her side as they pulled her bed out into the hall. When the door shut behind him and he was left alone in her room, all he could think was that she had to be okay. An alternative just wasn't something he could comprehend right now. He heard the door open again and this time the nurse was carrying a gown and mask.
"We'll need you to wash up and put this on if you're going to be in the room with her…" he snatched the items and headed for the bathroom to get ready.
When He'd made it into the operating room a feeling akin to peace washed over him. He didn't know why or even how he knew it, but he just felt that everything was going to be okay. He took his seat along side Isabella's face and kissed her forehead gently. He heard doctors talking to him, nurses describing things hat would happen, and just when he was set to lose it, he felt a very distinct squeeze at his hand.
His eyes darted to her face and saw the faintest smile there at her lips. Though she looked as if she were ready to pass out from exhaustion, her eyes did open. Words seemed to elude him in that moment, because he was drowning in the color of her eyes. Everything stood still, he doubted anyone else in that room was even breathing. All he could hear and see was Bella.
"Baby…?" she sounded scared and confused; he could only imagine what she must be thinking right now. He was just about to inform her of all that was going on, but before he could open his mouth, she was babbling uncontrollably.
"What's happened to Lilly? Is she okay? Did I fall? Did I lose her?" Her voice broke on that last question and it pulled him back to reality. He whispered love to her before he was interrupted by the doctor set to do the c-section.
"Mrs. Cullen, you're going to be fine, were in an operating room about to give you a c-section. We need to get your baby out as soon as possible. Do you understand what I've just said?"
Edward watched with a heavy heart as his precious Bella began to cry and look around frantically at the room. Though she must have been horrified, she acknowledged the doctor and let the nurses prepare her shot that would numb her from the surgery.
Though he wished she could sleep through this, an even bigger part of him was grateful that she would stay conscious. He didn't want her to sleep again; he was terrified she may not wake up the next time.
Just before the doctors were preparing to open her up and get Lilly, Isabella turned her eyes to Edward and locked her gaze on him. He knew why…it was for the same reason he did it as well. She was his life line, and he was hers.
"I'm here my love. I'm with you." It was all he could vocalize in that moment, but it seemed to be just what she needed to hear.
"I love you, Edward."