setting: episode 5 "Chupacabra"

Salvation

Chapter 10 - Scars

They threw Daryl on the bed and drenched the white sheets with blood and dirt. There was a big red bloodstain on Daryl's right side and his shirt was torn where the bloody wound drenched his clothes. Both his temples were bloody and wounded as well. Connor instinctively bent over him and grabbed his face to check on him.

"Daryl? Can ye hear me?"

He looked up to face Rick and Shane who were trying to get rid of Daryl's shirt.

"Did he get bit?"

Rick ripped Daryl's shirt in halves to get a better look at his injuries. He turned him on his side and checked his chest, back, arms and legs.
The policeman shook his head and pointed at the hunter's side where they could see a bullet-like wound which was bleeding heavily.

"Looks like he was shot before."

Connor looked up and frowned. "What?"

"I'm gonna go, see if I can find Herschel" Shane said and left.

Connor hit Daryl's face gently.

"Daryl? Can ye hear me?"

"He passed out after the shot" Rick reminded him and took a look at the wound again.

The Irishman moved his friend's head to check the other bullet wound.

"Jesus fuckin Christ, Murph" he murmured and shook his head angrily. He knew that Daryl wasn't his brother, but that wouldn't stop his mind from going all overprotective big brother on him. The door opened and made them turn around. Herschel entered the room with meds and a bowl full of water. "Get back" he said and sat down next to the hunter to get started. He used washcloth to clean Daryl's belly and back so that his wound was somewhat clean. Connor was still trying to wake his friend up by talking to him and gently hitting his cheeks. Half way through cleaning the wounds Daryl woke up again and started moaning in pain. He instinctively tried to move away from Herschel' s hands. The farmer asked Rick to help him with their patient. Connor let out a relieved sigh and greeted Daryl by calling him names and giving him shit for passing out like that, but it took the hunter a while to come back to life. He glanced around the room in confusion and startled when Herschel started stitching him back together. Ever stitch made him twitch. Daryl bit his lip and Connor reached out to grab his hand and squeezed it. He wanted them to go through the pain together. Just like they had always done. The hunter finally seemed to notice that Connor was sitting right next to him. He glared at the Irishman, and because he was still hearing Merle's mockings in his head, he slapped his hand away. Connor's face fell as this was another reminder that this man wasn't his brother. When Herschel buried the needle in his flesh once more, Daryl suddenly changed his mind, reached out and grabbed his hand again. He squeezed it so hard it made Connor wince. Strangely enough, it felt good. They were both feeling the same pain. Just like he had wanted.

It took Herschel several minutes to stitch Daryl up. He grabbed a piece of wet cloth from the water bowl and started cleaning Daryl's back and stomach once more, simply because he was so covered with dirt and blood that it was impossible to take care of his wounds just yet. Rick handed Daryl another piece of wet cloth so he could nurse the bullet wound on his right temple. Daryl leaned back with a groan and stared at the ceiling for a moment. The shock was slowly fading away now. He was glad he wasn't half unconscious any more but the more he woke up the more his body ached.

"What te fuck happened to you?" Connor asked with croaky voice and Daryl turned his head to look at him.

"Stupid snake scared the freaking horse away. I fell down and all the way into the creek. Right onto my crossbow. Impaled myself on my own freakin arrow.
I had t' climb all the way up again. Twice."

"It wasn't very wise to pull the arrow out. You could've hurt yourself even more" Herschel said and Daryl snorted.

"Yeah I know that too. I would've kept it in if I hadn't been busy fighting geeks. Thanks to that stupid leprechaun that'd been my last arrow.
And on top of that the other bitch shoots me in the head!"

"Well can't blame her. You look just as ugly as the other geeks" Connor said and grinned.

"Shut up" Daryl growled.

He was beginning to feel the after effects of the blood loss. They all looked up when Shane entered the room and brought a map with him. Rick got up and took it.

"Thank you" he said and went back to sit next to Daryl's bed.

Shane sat down on a chair close to the window.

"Can you tell us where you found Sophia's doll?" Rick asked and moved the map closer to Daryl so he could take a look.

The hunter shifted and groaned, but managed to point at the map.

"I found it washed up on the creek bed right there. She must have dropped it crossing there somewhere."

Connor bent over Daryl so he could look at the map, too.

Rick turned around to look at Shane.

"Cuts the grid almost in half" he said and Shane looked at him, but wouldn't say anything.

"Yeah, you're welcome" Daryl growled and looked down on himself where Herschel was still busy nursing his wounds.

The farmer asked Connor to help him with the stitches, and when the Irishman placed a finger on Daryl's wound to keep the thread in place the hunter shifted.

"Keep yer hands off me" he complained and both Herschel and the Irishman raised an eyebrow.

"Don't be such a fuckin princess" Connor responded and shook his head.

"How is he looking?" Rick asked and the Irishman snorted.

"Like shit" he murmured and Daryl glared at him.

"Fuck you" he countered and both Rick and Herschel interrupted them by just talking.

"I had no idea we'd be going through the antibiotics so quickly" Herschel said and the hunter snorted.

"Yeah, especially cos of people that are stupid enough t'hurt themselves."

Connor narrowed his eyes and boxed Daryl's shoulder.

"Fuck you!"

"Knock it off you two" Rick said and both men looked at him. Herschel put an end to it as well.

"Any idea what happened to my horse?" he asked Daryl and turned around to wash his hands in the water bowl.

"Yeah, the one who almost killed me? If it's smart, it left the country" Daryl responded and let his head drop.

Christ, he was tired.

"We call that one Nelly, as in nervous Nelly. I could've told you she'd throw you i you'd bothered to ask."

Rick got up and put both his hands on his hips. Herschel used a towel to dry his hands and approached the policeman.

"It's a wonder you people have survived this long. Four days and we're almost out of aspirin and space. So many injured people..."

Rick placed a hand on his shoulder and sighed.

"I know. Thank you for your help."

He turned his head to look at Daryl.

"You okay?" he asked and eyed the hunter who was cooling his temple with the washcloth and stared at the ceiling.

"'m gonna live" he grunted and Connor got up to sit down on the chair Rick had just left.

"'s alright. 'm gonna look after him" he said and nodded.

"The fuck yer gonna do" Daryl growled and glared at the Irishman.

Rick nodded and looked at his friend. Shane was still sitting in the corner and seemed lost in thoughts.

"Shane?"

The other policeman nodded and got up.

"Right. Good work Daryl. I'll tell the others. You stay here and rest a bit."

Rick, Shane and Herschel left the room and closed the door shut behind them so it were just Connor and Daryl.

It was quite for a while. The Irishman leaned back and put his feet on the bed to be a bit more comfortable, then he leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling as well to give his abused neck a break. All the chaos around Daryl had made him forget about his own injuries for a while, but now they were coming back to life, reminding him of everything he had done this morning. He sighed and messaged the bridge of his nose. Christ, was he exhausted. He closed his eyes to rest for a bit, but Daryl wouldn't make it so easy for him just yet.

"It's all yer fault after all" Daryl muttered and waited for Connor to answer.

The Irishman looked up to face him. Daryl had turned his back on him by now and covered himself with a blanket.

"I mean all them days yah follow me and stick t'me like a freakin plague and the day I fall off this stupid horse yah have t' be a pussy and try t' kill yerself like a coward."

Connor sighed and folded his arms. For a while he just stared at his friend's back and didn't know what to say.
He knew that Daryl was right, but right now he was too tired to argue. He looked out of the window instead.

"Guess yer right."

Daryl turned his head. He was angry because he didn't get the fight he wanted. He needed a good argument right now. Pain made him feel angry. Because pain meant being weak and he didn't want to be weak. He really wanted to get into a fight, but knew it was absolutely impossible. His stitches and injuries hurt like hell and when he looked at Connor he figured that the guy wasn't exactly strength and happiness in persona either. Christ, he even looked miserable. Daryl snorted and turned around again.

"What now, yer gonna cry? Gonna try t'kill yerself again?"

Connor snorted as well.

"Fuck ye. Ain't gonna get into a fight now. No matter how hard ye fuckin try."

Daryl shifted and growled.

"Screw yah" he muttered and closed his eyes.

Connor watched him for a bit longer, then he closed his eyes as well to rest.

Neither of them would speak after that. It didn't take Connor long and he fell asleep on the chair because of the exhaustion. Daryl couldn't sleep. He could still feel his heart pounding in his chest and his thoughts wouldn't give him any peace either. He could no longer turn his back on Connor because he was lying right on his stitches, so after some thinking and fighting he turned around to give his mutilated side a break. He stared at the man opposite him and let out a gentle sigh. He envied Connor for his ability to fall asleep so easily, whereas he was left alone with his thoughts. Daryl eyed the Irishman head to toe, now that he was given the opportunity to do so without getting annoyed by his babbling and grinning. Connor had crossed his arms over his chest and rested his feet on his bed. The hunter didn't understand how he could possibly sleep in such an uncomfortable position like that, but then again, it wasn't like he hadn't done it himself every now and then. It looked like Connor was still staring at the ceiling, only that his eyes were closed and his chest was rising and falling slowly.

Daryl could see the marks the rope had left on his exposed throat. It made him frown and shake his head. It had been more than eight hours since he had cut Connor from the rope, and the marks and bruises were gradually getting darker and redder. He couldn't understand how the guy could possibly do that to himself. On purpose. Now that he saw it up close he couldn't help but feel guilty again. Had he really pushed him to do that? Of course. It was stupid to think that way. He didn't even know the guy, and neither did Connor know him. Daryl knew that he had said and done pretty stupid things to their newest addition to the group. But still. He hadn't meant to push him into suicide. Or was this really his fault? He still didn't know much about this Murphy guy, his twin brother. All he knew was that Connor's brother was dead. Maybe that was the reason. Maybe something connected to his death had pushed the newbie so far. Daryl startled when the door opened behind him. Since Connor was asleep he had welcomed the freedom of getting rid of the bed cover and enjoying the chilly air that came through the open window, but as soon as the door opened he hid his scars and shifted.

"How are you feeling?" he heard Carol ask and fought with his bed cover to get it in place.

He turned his back on her again and just looked at sleeping Connor.

"As good as I look" he murmured and heard how Carol put something on the night stand to his right.

"I brought you two some dinner. You must be starving."

Daryl didn't answer. Truth be told, he was freaking hungry after today. Starving, just like she had said. But he didn't want to seem pathetic so he just looked at it and turned around again. He could feel her eyes on his back and felt uneasy about it. The whole thing was embarrassing enough. All it took was Connor to wake up now. He prayed for him to stay asleep. He startled when he felt Carol's lips on his bandaged temple. Daryl turned around in shock and looked at her. He didn't know what to say.

"Watch out, I got stitches" was all he came up with.

He fumbled with the bed covers because he felt awkward and didn't know what to do.
It was quiet for a while except for the chirping insects outside and Connor's gentle snoring.

"You need to know something" Carol said and Daryl turned around.

"You did more for my little girl today than her own daddy ever did in his whole life."

Daryl wanted to snort.

Of course. Anyone could do more for her than that asshole.

"I didn't do anything Rick or Shane wouldn't have done" he simply said and tried to avoid her gaze.

"I know. You're every bit as good as them. Every bit. Just look at what you're doing for me and Sophia..and for him" she said and nodded at sleeping Connor. With that she left the room. For a while Daryl just stared into nothingness, and that nothingness was Connor's rising and falling chest. He knew he was looking for Sophia. He knew he wanted to cheer Carol up with finding her and the rose. He knew he was helping Connor by letting him call him Murphy and saving him from killing himself. But after even knowing all that, he was surprised to hear Carol say that. Actually being nice to him. Thanking him. "Thank you, fer saving me" he remembered Connor saying. "You're ever bit as good as them" he heard Carol say and felt her lips on his temple. He felt miserable. He didn't think they were right and he didn't think he deserved their gratitude and sympathy.

When Daryl woke up the next morning he couldn't help but let out an awkward groan. He had fallen asleep on his stomach and could feel the wound and stitches hurting.
He had been lying on his wounds that pounded in what felt like protest.

"Morning sunshine" he was greeted and let out another groan, this time because he hated those words.

Connor was still sitting next to him on the chair, with a book in his hands. Daryl shifted awkwardly and grunted once more.
He couldn't believe that the stupid Irishman was still sitting there.

"Yah still sittin here? Jesus, will yah ever fuck off and leave me be yah fuckin creep?" he growled and Connor just smirked.

He spit out the rosaries he had been chewing on and shifted. Daryl eyed the crosses absently.
They made him think of his necklace from yesterday. He wondered where it was.

"How ye feeling?" Connor murmured.

"As good as I look."

"Oh, so horrible?"

"Screw yah" Daryl muttered and shifted his weight to the side that wasn't injured and didn't hurt so much which was, frankly, quite hard to achieve since his whole body ached. It took him a while to wake up properly and then he eyed Connor. He looked a bit healthier again although the strangulation marks looked even more horrible today. There was a thick bruise all around Connor's neck and it was all black and blue. Both men didn't say anything for a while, but Daryl just knew that Connor couldn't keep it shut for long. "I've just seen..ye know, when you were lying like that..where did ya get those scars fram?"
Daryl automatically looked down on himself and covered his bare chest.

"You've been watchin me? I fuckin knew yer a pervert freak."

"Fuck yerself."

"Screw yah."

"Redneck hillbilly."

"Leprechaun."

Connor smirked and looked up from his book.

"Nah but seriously. Yer practically shredded with scars.. Have yer been in a fight or an accident or something?"

"None of yer business" Daryl murmured.

"Come on, I've been inta some fights, I've got me scars as well. You can tell me. Or is it something embarrassing? Come on, nothing' s that embarrassing.
I won't tell anybody, promise."

"I said it's none of yer business!" Daryl spat and Connor looked at him in surprise.

Then he said nothing and looked back at his book. Daryl felt sorry for his outburst but he simply would not talk about it. Not with anyone.

After a while and Connor staying quiet Daryl sighed.

"Are yah going to hang yahself now?"

Connor snorted.

"Course, you hurt my feelings. All I wanted was cuddle."

Daryl snorted as well.

"Eat me."

The Irishman grinned.

"Should I ever turn 'm most certainly gonna do that."