He'd stared at Lilly for hours. He knew now what love at first sight was, everything about her absorbed his attention. Her copper penny hair made him smile, her hazel eyes made him breathless, and her perfectly bowed lips made his heart throw punches at his chest.
She was swaddled comfortably in a soft pink baby blanket with her thumb steadily being sucked at the moment. When they'd handed her to him, he couldn't remember Caleb ever being so incredibly small. Though he handled Caleb with care, he now looked like a bulldozer next to his sister. Edward was afraid to even walk with her at the moment, choosing to stand at the window and pat at her tiny diaper instead.
"She seems to be perfectly content with you, daddy." He turned and smiled as he let Bella's words settle over him. Though she'd just been through hell and back with delivering their daughter, she still looked ethereal to him. Her cheeks were pinkened and her eyes were bright as she watched him with their little girl.
She'd given his heart a near attack more than once this night, but in the end, she had pulled through the entire ordeal like the champion she was. But that didn't mean he was in any way comfortable of near unworried about her still.
"Do you need anything my love? Food? Water?" She was already shaking her head no and began yawning as he walked slowly back to her side. He took a seat on the bed near Bella so she too could join in on adoring their baby.
As he softly nuzzled Lilly's little cheek, he heard Bella's giggle though she was obviously trying to conceal it with her hands. He could only grin in return because he could imagine what had her laughing at this moment. He decided to simply ask her with raised eye brows than guess himself.
She let her giggle out in full force at the site of his expression and confessed. "She owns you …and that little girl isn't even an hour old…" at just that moment his precious little girl yawned and did what felt like a snuggle there in his arms, and with that little move, Bella's words were driven home.
He didn't know how he was ever going to let her go, had no idea how he would even be able to go to work… and he didn't mind in the slightest that he had no plan for either, because right now he was the proud father of a handsome son and a beautiful daughter. His wife was the love of his life, and there wasn't a thing in the world that would ever change that.
Edward leaned in and kissed Isabella's lips reverently, he was just about to tell her how incredibly honored he was to have her as a wife but was interrupted by a soft knock at the door. He saw Caleb's chunky cheeks first, then his mother and fathers excited expressions next.
"Are we interrupting?" Esme asked. Though he knew she was serious, he could tell how excited she was to simply be there either way.
"No mom, come on in." He stood and made his way to them as he cradled Lilly closer. He hadn't taken two steps when he heard Caleb's excited voice chanting, "baby!" If at all possible, Edward smiled wider and bent down to kiss his little mans forehead. He knelt down to Caleb's level and adjusted Lilly so her big brother could get a good look at her.
"This is your new baby sister, buddy. Can you say hi to Lilly?" Edward watched as Caleb examined the bundle of pink with curious eyes and fidgety fingers. Edward couldn't help but laugh at the way his son was obviously testing out this baby theory, but then Caleb did the most adorable thing. He leaned over his dads arms and very lightly kissed his baby sisters cheek.
He was vaguely aware that a camera went off somewhere in the background, but then he was pulled back to the present when he heard Bella call their son over to the bed.
"Come here sugar! Momma missed you so much!" Caleb was off in full motion as soon as he spotted her, and Edward had to calm his heart as he handed Lilly to his mother so he could catch Caleb before he tackled Bella's bed. She had just had a C-section and was incredibly delicate right now. He just caught Caleb and swung him up and rasp berried his belly not even a foot from the bed.
"You gotta be very soft with mommy okay? She has an ouchy and if you touch her too hard or hug her too tightly it will hurt her." Edward knew that even at 14 months old, Caleb would never want to bring Bella pain. She was his universe… he cherished his mom.
"no huggy?" Caleb asked with sad eyes. That alone tore at Edward, but he didn't know how to explain what he meant. Luckily Bella jumped in and saved him.
"Momma can give you lots of kisses sugar, just do me a favor and don't jump or squeeze me okay love?" Caleb nodded his head with a very serious face and proceeded to stand carefully on his toes to kiss Bella's arm.
Edward scooped him up for his turn at hugs and kisses then sat gingerly on the bed and watched as his mother and father fawned over their new grand baby. They were both in heaven, his dad was just getting his turn at holding Lilly as Esme fussed over Bella and went on and on about how precious Lilly was.
Carlisle kissed and cooed at her as Caleb helped Edward arrange the flowers and set up his sister's new Paddington bear. Though it was a happy time for the Cullen's, no one could escape the fact that Bella had gone through something extraordinary.
Everyone had listened with rapt attention as Bella explained she'd been having some minor discomfort the last week or so, but that she had played it off as Braxton hicks. The reality of the situation though, was that she'd been exerting herself far too much with picking up Caleb and hauling laundry up and down the stairs. Though it was a miracle in itself she'd come through this, it could have ended much worse. The placenta was beginning to detach, and had been hanging on by a miracle when she'd delivered. The difference between life and death for Lilly had been mere inches of cord.
As Edward had listened to the truth unfold, he couldn't help but grow angry with himself. He hadn't taken nearly as good of care of Bella that he could have. She should have been taking things more easy and relaxing. Instead he'd left her alone all week except for one day out of seven and in turn caused her to do so much on her own. He should have been there to pick up the slack and carry some weight.
His very pregnant wife shouldn't have been lugging laundry up and down the stairs. He should have been doing that each morning before he left for the office… he should have been around more.
For a man like Edward, it was a very humbling thing to realize that he was self centered. Though he's always know he was a bit selfish, he hadn't thought he acted that way with Bella. But the reality of the situation was that he hadn't been very thoughtful these last nine months.
That thought alone made him sick.
When his parents had left and they'd said their goodbyes to their son with a promise of bringing him home tomorrow, Edward gently placed Lilly in her bassinette and took a seat by his wife. She looked relaxed at the moment, but he could tell she was in pain.
"Do you need anything sweetheart? Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?" he was anxious to do anything for her; he hated feeling helpless with her.
"The nurse just gave me some pain meds…" she smiled softly and kept her gaze on him. It nearly felled him.
"I'm so sorry, Bella…" he leaned in and kissed her nose, cheek, then lips and continued. "I left you alone too much and didn't help you nearly enough. I'm so sorry you had to go through that scary feeling today." His voice broke on that last part and he had to look away because his shame was too great.
He felt her hand at his cheek and it only made it worse, because right now, she was trying to comfort him. Though she'd just given birth, had collapsed from exhaustion and had endured a c-section…she was comforting him.
"Hey… this is no one's fault. It's just nature, Edward…" he choked back a sob and turned to kiss her palm. He knew she was downplaying this, knew she didn't want him to beat himself up about this, but he couldn't escape the fact that she always did that with him. Maybe in the past he'd have let her, but not today. Not for this.
"Isabella, you could have been hurt far worse! Lilly could have…" he stopped there and closed his eyes to breathe deeply. He couldn't even bring himself to say it out loud. When he had control again, he picked up his sleeping baby and returned to Bella's side. "You can bet that I am going to be doing things better from here on out, love."
Edward kissed at Lilly and his guilt redoubled. "I know it's too late to save you from the pain you endured today, but I vow to you that I will be better! I don't know how nor even if I can make this up to you both, but I'll die trying if I have to." She was shushing him gently and calming him with strokes at his scalp but he wasn't near done. "I'm going to get this right, Bella…I promise you."
He realized how well she knew him when she didn't stop his words and instead smiled and accepted them. Edward also knew from the look in her eyes that she was merely indulging him and didn't agree necessarily, but that she knew him well enough to know that he needed to say this.
"Okay, my love." She whispered softly. Then she yawned and closed her eyes to get the first real rest she'd had in probably weeks.