For once, Jericho Phin is grateful for Sue Sylvester. Not only has she provided some much needed pompous entertainment during lunch breaks, but she has provided him with ramps. And he's very grateful, especially today. Pulling into the cafeteria, he finds that the janitors have set his tables to the side folded. The place is empty and won't be full for another half hour, but he figures that he needs that much time to set up. He goes about his work quietly.

First, Jericho thinks to himself, make space for the tables. Opening the lid to the large clear container that he had cleared out of Christmas lights and washed the attic dust out of, he finds the rope. He lays down a large square of rope for a template and then pushes tables where he needs them. Its easier since they don't need chairs for his purposes.

I'm so addicted to the love that you're feeding me

He moves one table and the wheels underneath lock, creating a horrid shrill squeak as he drags it. The lunch ladies stop and glare at him. Jericho simply shrugs in apology. Standing back from the rope, he nods and picks up the rope itself, starting to whistle to himself without an apparent song in mind. Reaching into the clear box at the center of the tables, Jericho digs first for two larger blue table cloths, shaking them out and lifting the wheels so that they can be used as drop cloths.

Shaking out the smaller tablecloths in pink, green, and yellow with a flourish, he sets them down gently. He looks up at the clock in the distance and he sees that he is at a ten minute mark. Bowls are placed on the edge of the tables, along with plastic knives. Tearing open bags of candies, the avalanche of sugar treats fills each bowl two thirds of the way full.

Can't do without it

Jericho mutters to himself as he pulls a clipboard out from the side of the box and begins to check items off. One of the last items to go on the table are the vanilla cake rounds. He peers into the nearly empty abyss of the clear box and notes that the icing is still secure in its cool bag. Starting to pop off the tops, he congratulates himself on making sure the frosting merely softened before lunch. Each table gets two containers.

This feeling's got me weak in the knees

Proud of what he's accomplished, Jericho looks at his tables before the bell rings. As the bell rings, the tables remind me of perfect apple slices, centered on round plates. Spreading the napkins out and pulling in the guideline rope, Jericho grabs the second clipboard and he waits.

Body's in withdrawal every time you take it away

Kids begin to filter in, but they mostly don't look at him yet. Quite a few flock to the lunch line, cutting and shoving and his stomach growls as he realizes that he's missing tator tot day. Oh well, Jericho sighs, its for a good cause.

"Excuse me....did you see the sign outside?"

Can't you hear me calling?

The kid looks at Jericho as though he's just sprouted a second head. He walks away without comment. Leaving Jericho to merely stroke his chin.

Begging you to come out and play

"Hey...I think we have...."

The second kid doesn't even bother to stop.

"Did you hear in the announcements....?"

And a third time, nothing. Jericho sighs. What can he do to get these kids attention? He had signs set up, put mentions in morning announcements and all that jazz. He just wished that Principal Figgins had agreed to lend him a microphone. Something about heckling the students, Jericho had tuned out when he had become dissatisfied with Figgins.

So baby, come to me

He was amazed when the blond cheerleader with her stereotypical McKinley High Cheer leading Barbie outfit didn't just walk right past him.

"Hey! Are you the guy in charge of the contest?"

Show me who you are

It takes Jericho a moment to respond. "Yeah, sure I am. Are you interested in competing?"

The blond cheerleader wrinkles her nose while she thinks. "Is it gonna be really messy?"

Sweet to me, like sugar to my heart

Jericho shakes his head. "Nah. Plenty of napkins and all that. Do you have your entry fee?"

The cheerleader nods. "Of course." She continues to talk while digging around in her purse. "This is so cool of you to do. I don't think we help people out enough in the world."

I'm craving for you

Jericho chuckles and nods. "I agree. What name would like to put down for your entry?"

I'm missing you like candy

"My name is Brittany."

Jericho takes a moment to write her first name. "Cool. Ummm...would you mind helping me spread the word? You know, you can't really compete alone."

Brittany's eyes light up. "Really? I'll be right back!"

Jericho walks over to the clear bin where his lock box is buried at the very bottom and secures Brittany's money. Then Jericho watches as Brittany goes over to a table and begins to talk excitedly to a Latina cheerleader. Well, Jericho thinks, its better than nothing.

Jericho can hear Santana as she marches over with Brittany. "I can't believe I'm going to do this."

"C'mon, Santana! Its for a good cause!"

Sweet, sweet loving got me goin to the extreme

Santana rolls her eyes and crosses her arms nonchalantly. Jericho feels like she's gonna start tapping her foot at him any moment. "Whatever. What am I donating to?"

"The American Red Cross General Fund." Jericho states confidently.

Santana sighs, digging around in her purse for money. "Fine. But you better know where this money is going. My mom adopted this kid once and found out later the charity only gave about five cents out of every dollar to the people of the village she was in."

Jericho shrugs as he takes the money. "That's not cool. No, this is the general fund. Its like the International version of FEMA, except it actually, you know, functions. What's your name?"

"Santana."

Jericho smiles as he writes the name under Brittany's. "Great...and are you girls competing together?"

"You bet!" Brittany chirps in, grabbing onto Santana's arms in glee.

Won't go without it

"Competing in what?" Jericho's eyes shoot over to the high male voice. Its Dumpster Boy, sitting at a table not far away.

This vibe has got a hold on me

Brittany waves. "C'mon Kurt! Its for charity!"

Kurt shakes his head. "No thanks. Looks messy and I just got finished with my last salon appointment for my highlights. I am not going to ruin them."

Tina, sitting across from Kurt, squints in reaction. "You get highlights done?"

Kurt motions to his face. "Right before it turns to spring, I have the roots of my hair done so that I can get my summer cut later on without worrying what color its going to turn out to be. Then I match my eyebrows and do an updated concealer lesson with Consuelo to make sure my tone is going to match my summer plans."

Mercedes finishes a sip of her drink. "Damn, thats complicated."

Satisfying, baby

Jericho calls over to the table. "I assure you that its not going to be messy. I've got plenty of napkins for everybody."

Artie furrows his brow from where he sits beside Mercedes. "So, whats the challenge exactly?"

Let me show you what I'm made of

"Cake decorating." Jericho answered matter-of-factly. "For charity. The winning team wins the cake of their choice."

Kurt tilts his head as he thinks. "And whose gonna be the judge?"

A hand shoots up from an adjacent table where books and a sketch pad are open. "As an aspiring musical actress, I believe I have the training to judge a cake decorating competition based on creative merit."

No doubt about it boy

Kurt sighs to himself. "Of course."

Got me feeling crazy

Jericho is taken aback by the girl's confidence. "Umm...alright. And you would be?"

She stands up, beginning to close books. "Rachel Berry. And if you are assigning me the position of judge, make sure there is a star after my name."

Can't get enough

Santana's voice shoots from the table on Jericho's right as Brittany is taking an M & M from one of the bowls. "Oh no. I definitely don't want to do this if Berry is judging. I would never win, not that I'd ever actually eat something I've decorated. What are we? Seven?"

Rachel blinks hard at Santana. "Who would you want to be judge then, as if I didn't already know?"

Santana nods past Rachel's table, where a blond girl is eating by herself. "Hey Q, wanna give us a hand?"

Quinn doesn't even bother looking up. "Not really."

Jericho coughs loudly to get their attention. "Please, guys, this is for charity. Sorry Ms. Berry, but if having that other girl judge means garnering more interest, then I think I might need to go in that direction."

Brittany chimes in. "Yeah! C'mon Quinn! Isn't your dad always watching those Food Network shows?"

Quinn mutters something in response. "Just the barbecue ones really." Hesitantly, she gets up from her chair. "But if its for charity..."

Rachel has a tinge of clear annoyance in her voice. "Fine then."

Baby, baby, baby

Sitting back down, the tall guy on her right turns to her from the large sketchbook. "I think we should do it Rachel. You've got great talent for creating stuff and its for a good cause. C'mon, let's team up."

Rachel's voice loses its edge. "You'd really do that for me, Finn?"

Finn nods, smiling warmly. "Absolutely."

Won't you come to me?

Rachel's hand shoots up. "Excuse me? Whats the entry fee? We've got two to sign up here!"

Jericho beams. "Thats great. Five bucks minimum apiece, winner gets the cake of their choice."

Rachel walks over with Finn in tow, leaving Tina in charge of the storyboarding sketchpad for next year's Invitationals. "I think we can do a little better than that. Right, Finn?"

Show me who you are

Finn shrugs. "Sure."

Jericho takes the money and begins to write their names, drawing a tie between them so that he knows they have one cake entry. "Okay, Rachel and...you are....Finn? Right, rock on. Pick your blank canvas. Is that all the entries?"

Kurt stands up, walking with a swiveled saunter to Jericho. "If Rachel's fashion sense is any indication of her ability to create visual appeasement, then you're gonna need someone fabulous to make the winning cake. I think that would be me."

Jericho chuckles. "Not up to me. Its up to the judge. But I like your enthusiasm."

Kurt beams. "Thanks. Which cake am I making fabulous?"

Sweet to me

"Um..." Jericho looks over at the tables. "I guess the one in the back by process of elimination."

Santana speaks up as she is becoming more and more impatient. "How long do we have for this?"

Jericho shrugs. "I was thinking ten minutes." Turning to the lunch room, he booms out the announcement. "Anyone else looking to enter a contest for charity?" There was a general lack of enthusiasm.

Like sugar to my heart

"Now wait," Quinn speaks up after a moment. "Kurt can't do a cake by himself if there's two people at each of the other ones. Could I help him instead of judging?"

Jericho shrugs noncommittally. "Sure, I suppose. I guess I could judge then."

Rachel nods as she notices the orange slices available for decoration. "Well, that would have less bias."

Artie's voice raises from Kurt's table. "I have a question. Can we bet on the outcome?"

I'm craving for you

Jericho nods. "I'll take money if you just wanna donate."

Artie smiles in return. "Great. Lets get ten bucks on Kurt and Quinn then."

Mercedes chuckles. "I don't know. I don't think Rachel could handle losing a decorating competition. How about I put ten on her cake with Finn? I love you though, Kurt, baby!"

I'm missing you like candy

Kurt waves. "I know you got my back, girl! Its alright."

After collecting the money, Jericho puts an end to the banter. "Okay, well, I guess we'll get this party started."

Rachel calls out a question. "Do we have a theme or a height requirement?"

Quinn shrugs as she picks up a plastic knife. "Sweet Charity? Thats one of mom's favorite movies."

Jericho nods. "Nice. Let's go with that then."

Finn furrows his brow. "Shouldn't we have music or something?"

Jericho shakes his head. "I've got a stop watch. Is that cool? Okay?"

Santana heaves another sigh. "Can we please just get this started?"

I'm craving for you

Jericho takes a big breath. "Right-o! On your mark, get set, decorate!"

I'm missing you like candy

Almost instantly, there are a cavalcade of individual voices speaking as if on cue:

"Finn! Get your fingers out of the icing!" "C'mon Kurt! Show them how to frost that cake!"

"Save some of those for the decoration, Brittany!" "This is rather exciting."

"We really could have used some edible glitter or something."

"I think we'll live. Should we do a cute baby duck with the orange slices or something?"

"Don't spill on your uniform, Santana. Coach Sylvester won't like that much."

"You're pretty good at this, Rach." "Dude, why didn't you tell me there was food dye?! We could have done a red cake."

"Are we using any more of these? I kinda want to eat them. They're staring at me." "Hey Finn, make a guitar!"

The seconds tick down as the Gleeks banter back and forth from the tables, both supporters and friends a like. A small crowd has drawn around the tables and people are pointing for their favorites. Jericho is going around and collecting more bet money and suddenly feels a lot like a Wall Street tycoon. There seems to be a cheering echo like they have on the Food Network as time winds down.

"Okay, guys," Jericho exclaims," help me count it down. You have 5...4...3..2..1! And hands down! We are done!"

There is a smattering of applause as the Gleeks step away from their respective cakes. The crowd is still gathered as Jericho walks around each cake, judging.

Finn and Rachel's almost purple curtain with actual curtain streaks going down the side and drama faces in the middle looks really solid. Kurt and Quinn's adorable sun and duckies cake makes Jericho smile.

"But the clear winner," Jericho booms, "is any cake that gives us a real sense of school pride! Brittany and Santana's M & McKinley Rebel Yell cake is the clear champion!" The crowds begin to dissipate as the excitement dies down.

"Congratulations, girls. You get to pick which cake you'd like to take with you."

Brittany smiles warmly while Santana looks around, just glad that this whole thing is over. "Quinn, your cake is so cute. Can we have that one?"

Santana quirks her brow. "I thought you made our cake so we could take it."

Brittany started to bat her eyelashes. "But its got a cute little ducky made of orange slices. You can't tell me you don't like baby ducks...."

A male voice shot out from somewhere in the cafeteria. "Just shut up you...geeks!"

A piece of flying pineapple shoots straight for the cakes. Jericho puts his clipboard to his face so that the slice would at least not hit that. He turns when he hears a shriek.

Finn's voice becomes defensive, almost hostile. "Okay, who did that?"

Rachel shakes her head as she grabs a napkin. "It's okay, Finn. Its just frosting on a dry clean only sweater."

Kurt puts a hand on his right hip. "See? Thats why nobody else wears argyle."

Santana scoffs. "Well that and we all have some sort of pride in our fashion sense."

Finn shakes his head, turning to Rachel. "Its not okay. We can't let people push us around just cause we found something special about ourselves." Turning to face the crowd. "Whoever threw that should be man enough to show themselves."

A bulky kid shoots up. "Yeah, so what of it?"

Rachel tugs on Finn's shirt. "No Finn...its really okay..."

Quinn shakes her head. She grabs her cake, much to Brittany's protest, and marches over to the guy. He swallows hard. "Excuse me, do you have a problem with us doing something for charity or are you just a seventh grade moron that happened to pass his No Child Left Behind tests?"

"Well, I..."

Quinn turns her back from him. "Thats what I thought."

Unfortunately, she slips on some kid's spilled jello and grabs for the table. The cake goes flying, landing on the bulky kid's head. Quinn catches herself and turning, she looks at the kid with a guilty face. An apology was already on her lips but the kid laughs as he uncovers his eyes and sprays his table with cake crumbs.

"Food fight!"

Red Wine, Konvict, Gaga oh, eh, eh

Jericho's protective instincts kick in as soon as the words echo off the walls. Grabbing the Rebel cake to save for himself, he ducks beneath a table as the room erupts in flying rolls, spaghetti, pudding cups and shaken cans of soda.

Kurt heads beneath a table as well and he nods at Jericho from nearby as Jericho's knelt form watches the dining room fall into food chaos. It takes less than five minutes for Principal Figgins to enter the room, but everyone is already covered with some form of food. Well, everybody but Jericho and Kurt. Even Puck, who had come in from a lunch practice, had made his way over to Quinn and shielded her as best he could while slipping on a banana.

I've had a little bit too much, much

"Who started this, Hmm?"

All of these people start to rush, start to rush by

The room stops dead, even the icing clinging to Rachel's raven locks. Nobody says anything at first, but all eyes start to shift toward Quinn. The back of Jericho's throat lets out a cough.

How does he twist the dance? I can't find a drink, oh man

Quinn begins to approach Principal Figgins, but Jericho wasn't about to let Quinn damage her already sullied reputation. Coming out from beneath the table, where the cake was safely laid, Jericho raises his hand. "It was me, Principal Figgins. The cake decorating contest got a little out of hand."

Where are my keys? I lost my phone, phone

Figgins clasps his hands behind his back. "A little out of hand, Mr. Phin? I haven't seen this much destruction since the episode of the Amazing Race where those fraternity boys had to try and fold clothes in my native country. But, you've come forward and saved everyone from punishment, so I will not put this on your permanent record."

"But..."

"However, this is a substantial mess and we don't have the resources to clean it up-so I expect for you to handle the cleaning of this room yourself for the next week."

What's going on on the floor?

Jericho opens and closes his mouth quickly. "Yes, sir. Thank you sir.

I love this record baby, but I can't keep straight anymore

Principal Figgins' eyes rove around the room. "Now everyone clean up and get to class."

Keep it cool, what's the name of this club?

Students begin to file out slowly, leaving only Jericho in an empty room to survey the damage and to get ready for a last period before he has to return to clean up the place. Quinn's glance catches his in thanks before she files out with Puck offering and receiving denial at his assistance.

I can't remember but it's alright, alright

The scene of the crime was much as Jericho remembered it when he re-entered. He was thankful that it was February and that there were no flies to be seen. The cakes were in the kitchen, waiting for him to take home or consume. Brittany and Santana would let him know which one they wanted, presumably, by the end of the day. If not, he had an extra cake round. He could always make some mock up.

The lunch ladies had left out a mop and a bucket of hot water with a rag for him. He shrugged as he looked at the destruction. Best to get started, Jericho thought, and then the sooner I get out of here. Thank God I have the night off from my actual job.

Wish I could shut my playboy mouth, oh oh

Jericho turns when he hears the door, surprised to see Quinn and a few of the kids from the contest and at the story board table entering behind her.

"You really didn't think that you were gonna clean this up by yourself, did you?"

How'd I turn my shirt inside out?

Jericho shrugs as Quinn smiles. "You don't have to. You've all got more important things to do, I'm sure."

Finn nods, ignoring Santana being dragged in by Brittany. "Yeah, but you stood up for Quinn instead of letting her take the fall. Thats really cool. Plus, we didn't really want to rehearse today."

Control your poison, babe

Rachel rolls her eyes. "Speak for yourself, Finn. I would never miss a chance to rehearse unless I had a good reason."

Roses have thorns they say

Mercedes starts to roll up the sleeve on her fake mesh jersey over the red shirt. "Well, damn, we sure know how to make a mess."

And we're all getting hosed tonight

Kurt nods as he runs his hands through his bangs. "Before we begin, lets decide on a soundtrack."

Brittany held up her bag. "I brought my iPod and my iDock is in my locker."

Santana nods. "Well, lets go and get it then."

Jericho prepares to thank the entire crew. "Well guys, thanks for staying. Lets get..."

"Woah! What happened here!"

What's going on on the floor?

"My goodness. This is..." Ms. Pillsbury nearly slips but Mr. Schuester grabs onto her arm and pulls her back until he has her waist firmly in her grasp.

I love this record, baby, but I can't see straight anymore

"Careful, I know how you feel about messes."

But it was clear from Emma's eyes that when Will was around, she could barely see them. "Thanks."

Keep it cool, whats the name of this club?

Will helped Emma to get stable and then looked around the room. "I just passed Brittany and Santana. What happened in here?"

I can't remember, but its alright, alright

Jericho raised his hand. "Food fight. These kids offered to help, Mr. Schuester."

Will nodded. "That's really cool of you guys. And you are?"

Jericho extended his clean hand to Mr. Schuester. "Jericho Phin. And you're the Spanish teacher, right?"

Will chuckled. "Among other things. Nice to put a face to the name."

Just dance

Emma interrupts before Jericho could ask how Mr. Schuester knew about him. "Good thing we were passing by on the way to the practice room. You kids want some gloves? I have some in my purse, hopefully no one is allergic to latex." She proceeds to charge into her purse and bring up a small box of gloves.

Gonna be okay

Rachel takes them gratefully, elbowing Puck as she passes so that he couldn't make an inappropriate latex joke. "Thanks, Ms. Pillsbury. We appreciate it."

Will exhales. "Well, okay. When you guys get done, we'll see you in the practice room. Shorter practice today then, alright?"

Just dance

Kurt takes the box of gloves that Rachel is passing around. "Got it, Mr. Schue. We'll see you in five."

Spin that record babe

As Mr. Schuester and Ms. Pillsbury exit, Brittany re-enters with her iDock and minus Santana. "Okay, what are we playing? I just imported some new Lady Gaga if anyone's interested!"

Just dance

There was a murmur of consensus until Jericho spoke. "Who is Lady Gaga?"

Gonna be okay

Kurt begins to hyperventilate until Tina pats him on the back. Quinn rolls her eyes, taking Jericho's offered hand so she wouldn't slip. "Don't worry about it. I didn't know anything about her either until these guys came along."

Just just just just

Jericho shrugs in return. "Well, I guess we'll just have to see if she makes me dance or not."

Just dance

*Author's Note: Another month has passed, bringing us another chapter with Jericho Phin. Songs for this month are Mandy Moore's pop hit "Candy" and the eccentric Lady Gaga classic "Just Dance". The bold phrases above are just general chatter from many of the gLeeks. It's just banter and that is why there's no indication of which ones are talking. Hope you're not too confused by it and hope you've enjoyed February. I'll see you in March, Glee fans!*