Silver Lining
'I won't get left behind
when the walls come tumbling in
I'll keep climbing,
I'll keep climbing'
Threats and Declarations
Liv woke not only to an empty bed but to an empty dorm room, she wasn't surprised and she really wasn't all that bothered because right now she was craving only thing. Food.
She hadn't eaten anything since that grilled bacon and cheese sandwich that she had made for herself and Happy, team that with the energy she had been burning from reconnecting with her man it was no surprise that her stomach was growling in protest.
Throwing back the covers she rummaged through her duffel, pulling out a pair of black leggings and an old tour tee. Changing quickly she pulled her hair into a rough ponytail and headed outside.
Stopping just short of entering the main room she took a couple of deep breaths preparing herself for whatever or whoever would be waiting for her. It had been a long time since she had been around this way of life, the MC life and she was a little out of practice, but one thing she did remember was how gossip travelled and the dramatic way she entered Charming was bound to have been a talking point not just amongst the Sons but their Old Ladies and the sweetbutts to. Without a doubt she knew the Sons would keep their thoughts to themselves out of respect to Happy but the sweetbutts and Old Ladies well they were a completely different story, she just hoped that they weren't all mini Gemma's in the making.
As confidently as she could she stepped out from the hallway, her eyes scanning over the surprisingly quiet clubhouse. Continuing to the kitchen she noticed that one of the girls, who she guessed was a sweetbutt was staring at her, deciding it would be a better move to give her a smile rather that a filthy look that she was currently receiving. Even after the smile the girl's expression didn't change even when Liv stepped into the kitchen she continued to stare at her through the window.
"I wouldn't take any notice of her." Liv practically jumped out of her skin when she heard the unfamiliar voice coming from behind her.
The woman must have been a few years younger than Liv, 25 maybe. She had brown hair that sat on her shoulders and had the pretty girl next door look going on, but Liv's eyes were drawn to the little girl perched on her hip and her protruding stomach.
"Sorry?"
"The girl throwing you the evils. Her names Gina and trust me she's just jealous. She thinks she runs this place." The younger girl said as she came to stand beside Liv. Liv watched as she threw this Gina girl a look, a look as to say Problem? Looking away Liv turned just in time to see the girl look away. The way Gina had been deterred buy just a look from this sweet innocent looking girl Liv knew that there was no doubt that the woman beside her was an Old Lady. "I'm Donna." She introduced herself as she extended her hand to Liv.
"Liv." They exchanged smiles as they shook hands. "So she's jealous huh?"
"Well yeah, I mean your a pretty hot topic around here." Liv shrugged, it wasn't like she hadn't been expecting this.
"I bet and let me guess she's a sweetbutt who has a thing for a certain tattooed biker who happens go by the name of Happy?" Liv noticed Donna shift the weight of the little girl on her hip as she looked away sheepishly. "It's okay, I'm not stupid I haven't been around for a long time, he was never going to stay celibate, he's a guy."
Liv swallowed back the lump in her throat. She knew he had obviously slept with other people just like she had. 9 years was a long time and they both had needs. Liv had dealt with that, went by the motto of out of sight out mind. If she didn't see it then it never happened, but now she was seeing it, the whole blonde hair fake boobs, orange reality of it.
Although she didn't know the girl Donna couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Even though she was trying to brush off the fact that her man had basically slept his way through the entire population of sweetbutts she could see the sadness, the hurt lingering behind her eyes. She wanted to help her, say something that would make her feel better but she knew if the shoe were on the other and it was Opie. No words would make it better. No words would stop it from stinging like hell.
"Liv..." Feeling a hand on her shoulder she looked over her shoulder only to find the comforting apologetic eyes of Donna. This woman didn't even know her yet her concern was genuine, unlike a certain Queen bees. Kindness like that in this life was rare.
"Thanks, but seriously I'm fine. Can't live in the past right?"
"I guess." Feeling guilty Donna decided to change the subject. "I like your shirt, Heavenly Evil can't say I've heard of them they any good?" Liv looked down at her shirt. THis poor girl really did seem to have a knack for starting bad conversations.
"It's my Dads band. Big in the 80's not so much now."
"Your dad's in a band that must have been so cool."
"Yeah having a dad bail on you for a tour was always fun." Shit Donna thought she had put her foot in it again. Seeing the colour drain from the girl Liv felt bad, she was just trying to be nice, it wasn't her fault that she just picked the wrong subjects.
"So who's this little one?" Liv asked as she waved playfully at the little girl, making her giggle. She hoped changing the conversation on to her might make things less awkward. She was wrong.
"This little bundle of mischief is Ellie." Donna turned to the little girl. "Say hi Ellie, say hi to Liv."
"Hi." The little spoke shyly before curling back into her mother.
"Hey Ellie." Liv ran her hand over the girls' hair making her giggle again. She felt the lump rising in her throat again. She was such a beautiful little girl.
"You okay?" Donna asked noticing the glaze in Liv's eyes and fearing that she had put her foot in it once again.
"Yeah course. So is there anything good to eat here I'm starved." Liv said hoping that the change of subject would stop Donna's questioning eyes.
"Sure there's some leftovers in the fridge."
"Great." Taking a little longer routing through the fridge so she could take a minute to get herself together, Liv finally closed the door after settling on the muffin which looked like blueberry one of her favourites. She took a bite while pouring herself a cup of coffee. "Hmm..these are gorgeous."
"Bobby makes them, he's a really good cook."
"Bobby your Old Man?"
"God no." Donna scoffed. Walking back over to the window. Liv watched her point out an older looking man, with long wild salt and pepper hair and a matching bushy beard. "That's Bobby."
"Oh."
"Yeap." Liv laughed shaking her head.
"You want a cup?"
"No thanks. I'm on a strict no caffeine diet." Liv watched as Donna lay her hand on top of her rather large bump. "This one is already a handful he just won't stop kicking. I'm hoping the lack of caffeine will calm him down but...Right on cue." Liv didn't have time to react, Donna grabbed Liv's hand and placed it on her belly.
When Liv felt the kick she went back to the first time she had felt her own child kick for the first time. It had been amazing as she was so excited she just had to wake Happy up even though it was almost 4 in the morning, he needed to feel it. But with that memory came the memory of their loss. And it was that memory that make her retract her hand.
"You okay?" Donna asked for the second time, Liv obviously not hearing her the first time.
"Huh.." Liv eyes shot up to Donna's.
"Are you okay, you look a little..."
"I'm fine. I uh...I just..." Liv was out the door before she even finished her sentence.
"It was nice to meet you..." Donna trailed off as Liv retreated down the hall back into Happy's room.
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Liv wiped the steam from the mirror and stared at her reflection. She had been stupid to react the way she had in front of Donna, she had let her guard down.
Over the 9 years Liv had created many barriers. Barriers that protected her from her past shit, but one single touch had brought all those barriers crashing down around her. Feeling the unborn child kick in her stomach was too much, she just couldn't handle it.
But she had to. Things were already hard enough without her having a mental breakdown. Plus Donna had actually seemed like someone who she could actually be friends with. She just hoped she hadn't scared her away something told her she might need a friend around here.
Leaving the bathroom Liv walked over to her bag. Dropping it onto the bed she rummaged through pulling out a few items of clothing before dropping the bag to the floor. She was about to drop her towel when she heard someone clear their throat behind her. A small gasp escaping from her lips as she faced the intruder
"Sorry didn't mean to scare ya. I'm Clay."
"Liv, it's nice to meet you Clay." She said a little flustered as she tried to tighten her towel around her body.
"Well it's nice to finally put a face to the name I keep hearing so much of." Okay Liv knew where this conversation was heading she just wished that it wasn't happening in a room where she was all alone and dressed in just a towel.
"Look I'm really sorry for all.." She stopped talking when Clay moved from the desk he was leaning against. Upon reflex she took a step back.
Clay smirked smugly, even though she tried to fight it, tried her best to hide it he could sense her fear. And although he didn't want to scare her he was glad he was getting under her skin, from what Gemma had told him she had not succeeded. And his wife was good.
This is why he decided to approach her this way, when she was vulnerable and there was no more vulnerable than standing in a room with a man as intimidating as him, completely naked with only a slightly small towel keeping her decency.
But he was still fully aware that he had to tread carefully. He had to be intimidating enough to make sure she understood what he was about to say but at the same time make sure he didn't scare her enough so that she went crying to a certain tattooed enforcer.
"Easy there darlin' I'm not here to hurt you just wanted a little chat." He said raising his hands in a surrendering motion.
"I know. I just.." Liv paused trying to get her composure back.. "Sorry..." She apologised. "So what can I do for you Clay?"
"I have a little favour to ask, it's not just for me it's for the club really."
"Of course. I'll do whatever I can to help." She had a funny feeling that this favour had to do with Darby and even though she didn't like the way this was going down she would try and do her best to help because at the end of the day this was her fault.
"The thing is we have this little problem. And as much as I don't like involving women in Samcro business it seems that this little problem is all about you." Liv clenched the towel to her body as much as she could as Clay edged closer. "Darby offered a deal, he wants you in exchange for no retaliation on Jax or your Old Man for what happened to your little red headed friend." Clay smirked as her eyes grew upon hearing her Old man's life was being threatened, or maybe it was Jax's life that she was worried about. He still wasn't sure what to make of that little titbit of information Gemma had given him. "Now I know you wouldn't want to be responsible for anything happening to Jax...I mean the guy practically saved your life right?" He taunted, he wanted to see her reaction he couldn't help himself, if she had feeling for the VP then that was always another option. But Liv didn't give much of a reaction instead she sort of just stood there, completely still as if she was contemplating what she should do, what she should say. And Clay found her silence annoying. "Do you see my problem here?" He asked hoping to lure out of whatever zone she had drifted into.
"What is it Darby wants me for exactly?" She finally asked.
"See that's the thing all he wants is you to preform a couple of shows."
"Why does he want me?"
"He has a new investor that has a thing for you. He won't sign unless you are part of the package or at least thinks it."
"Okay, so it's just a couple of shows. And that's it?"
"That's it." He said with a shrug. "Now don't get me wrong I understand Hap putting his foot down over this but we both know he's not thinking clearly he's thinking..."
"About me instead of what's good for the club." Liv knew exactly what Clay was getting at this hadn't been the first President Patch that had laid the line down to her, hell 6 months ago Tally was the one leering over her making demands, but at least he was doing that in the interests of Happy, even for her benefit to some degree but Clay well...she wasn't sure why he was doing this, why he was bringing this to her rather than bringing it straight to Happy. Because even if she wanted to do this, which she did surely he knew the rules. As an Old Lady you didn't go against your Old man, and he seemed to be fully aware of the fact that Happy had already said no. "You want me to convince Hap to let me do this?"
"Exactly. See I knew you were a smart girl. Of course you'll be protected we'll make sure you have a patch on you during your little show."
Liv knew her next words were probably going to be out of line, but hell all of this was out of line. President or not Liv was pretty sure that the fact that he had come into a brothers room and basically threatened his old Lady while she was practically naked was completely out of line. Plus she need to be sure exactly what was going on here, exactly what Clay was saying.
"And if I don't?" Clay closed the remaining space that stood between them his eyes giving her whole body a once over, which made Liv cross her arms over her body as she tried to cover herself up, a pointless effort.
"Well I guess I'll just have to find another way to solve this little problem." She tried to remain still showing no weakness, no fear, but when his hand came up she could stop her self from flinching. But he didn't touch her like she thought he would instead he rubbed his hand over his stubble, looking her straight in the eye, his blue eyes turning slightly grey as they hardened, and walked past her as he headed for the door.
She should have just let him go, she knew that would be the sensible thing to do but for some reason the words were out of her mouth, and Clay had stopped in his tracks.
"And if Hap says no?" Liv didn't turn to look at him but she felt his breath on the back of her neck, and his body leaning against hers as he leant into to whisper his next threat.
"Trust me you don't want that to be an option because I can only think of one other way to solve our little problem." He whispered letting his threat hang in the air.
She didn't move, even after she heard the door close she remained frozen to the spot. She couldn't believe what had just transpired. Her whole body was shaking but it wasn't until she heard a noise outside did she snap out of it. And the first thing she did was run over to the door making sure it was locked. She didn't want anymore unwelcome visitors.
Sitting on the edge of the bed she buried her head in her hands fighting back her tears, but failing miserably.
Of course she wanted to help, she had tried back in her apartment, pleaded with Happy to let her help him out with this Darby deal but he had closed her down. That ain't your fucking concern were his exact words. But now she was worried, because it wasn't an if she was pretty damn sure that Hap would close her down again.
Clay may have not spoken the words exactly but the threat was clear. She was the one person this whole deal depended on so either she helped or she would disappear because without her in the picture there wouldn't be a deal. And if that wasn't a scary enough thought then the idea of the retaliation Jax and Happy would have to face panicked her.
She had no choice she had to try, not because Clay had told her to but she had to do this for Happy.
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It was dusk by the time Happy finally returned to the Clubhouse. Along with Juice, Opie, Lip and Jax he had spent pretty much most of the day running errands, and supporting his brothers down at Charming Police station. It had been a pretty tiring day but he knew that his tiredness may have little more to do with the fact that Liv had kept him up most of the night. Not that he was complaining.
Trailing behind his brothers he followed them into the noisy clubhouse. It was a Friday night at it seemed that even on a lockdown Friday night still meant party night.
He was drawn to the bar where Jax was standing shoving a beer in Happy's direction. As he took his first long swig from the bottle he allowed his eyes to do a quick sweep of the room. She wasn't there. He didn't know if he was surprised or not.
Turning back to face the bar he motioned Davie the prospect over as he moved to a quieter spot of the bar. "Where's my girl at?" Happy had instructed Davie to keep an eye on her while he was out.
"Dorm room. Girl hasn't come out of there since this morning." Happy nodded.
"Two more beers."
"Yes Sir." Happy rolled his eyes at being called Sir it made him feel old. He liked the respect the kid was showing and knew that it came from his southern roots but fuck it was annoying. He made a metal note to himself that he would kick the Sir out of the kid next time he called him that. Because he had told him before and he usually didn't have to ask things twice.
Taking the two beers from Davie without so much as a thank you Happy headed for the dorms to check in on his girl. Well until he was stopped that was.
Hearing his name and feeling a hand rest on his forearm Happy turned to find Donna standing in front of him.
His eyes left her as he looked over her head to her husband who was standing at the bar with the others he had returned with, the all seemed just as surprised as he was.
Donna never approached Happy and even though he had no problem with the woman he knew that she did with him, well not such much a problem other than he scared her. It was common knowledge amongst his brothers Opie even teasing him that when he visiting Donna would never come to the party. He knew that to be a lie he had seen her a couple of times, but she had gone out of her way to avoid him. So this, her coming to him was completely out of character.
"Happy, I'm sorry to bother you but can I have a quick word."
"Yeah." He answered gruffly as his eyes returned to her.
"I feel a bit stupid, I mean it's probably nothing but..."
"Donna."
"Sorry." She blushed knowing that she was starting to ramble. "I was speaking to Liv today, I think I may have upset her. I commented on the band on her t-shirt she said it was her Dads band then she went all weird, i didn't mean to. She changed the subject but then I felt a kick so I grabbed her hand so she could feel I don't know what I..."
"It's fine." Happy spat. He didn't need to hear any more he knew exactly what had caused Liv to get upset. The mention of her dad was bad enough through in the dhit with the baby, well...
"I'm sorry if I upset her."
"Thanks." Happy turned his back on Donna and headed down the hall.
He went to walk straight in but was met with a locked door. He had the only key so that meant it was locked from the inside, she had locked it.
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Liv had decided that hiding out in Happy's room was the best and probably safest place for her to spend the rest of her day.
Realising that there wasn't exactly much to do in the dorm room she pulled her sketch pad from her bag, she never went away for a long time without it, and hoped that drawing would calm like it usually did.
She was just putting the finishing touches to the portrait when her name and the banging on the door echoed through the room. It was Happy. Suddenly she was back to the beginning. The drawing had successfully calmed her but now she was right back to the bag nerves she had been when Clay had left her.
Discarding the pad she crawled over the bed and rushed to open the door.
"Why was the door locked?" He questioned as he pushed his way inside.
"Was it I don't know I must have locked it by mistake." She lied. But what was she supposed to say, she locked it because she was frightened that his President would come back and threaten her again.
"Right. Here." He shoved the beer towards her. Once she had accepted the beer he took a seat on the edge of the bed taking a swig from his own beer. Looking over his shoulder he caught sight of the discarded art pad. Leaning over he snatched up the pad and rested it on his lap as he started to flick through the pages, stopping to stare at one picture.
Liv didn't need to see the picture he was looking at, it was the last one she had drawn the one she had just put the finishing touches to. But she didn't want to talk about it, so she started a conversation before he did.
"So how are things looking for Koz and that other guy?" Happy let out a frustrated breath before answering.
"There's no hard evidence to link them to the murder but that fucker Felps is pushing for felons with a firearm charge." He answered his eyes still looking at the picture.
"You think it will stick?"
"Koz and Tig both have criminal records so probably, the question is how long their looking at. This Opie's kid?" He finally asked as he held up the drawing of Ellie.
"Yeah." She answered before taking a rather large swig of her drink.
Happy knew it, feeling the kick had freaked her out upset her, that was why she had been hiding out in his dorm all day, that was she looked so jumpy. She was reliving old shit. He cocked his head back, and within seconds she was standing in front of him. Throwing the notepad to the side he took her hand pulling her towards him.
"She thinks she's upset you." He told her as she straddled him, her hands running over his shaven head.
"I know." Liv scooted closer, her hands falling to his face.
"You need to..."
"I know." She said again, knowing she would have to apologise.
"You good now?" Liv nodded before lifting his head so she could kiss him. Happy knew she wasn't okay, the way she was clinging to him told him that. But she had to deal with this her way, all he could do was just be there for her and if that meant sex then he would be more than willing.
"Hap." She spoke against his lips. He let out a groan when he felt her lips leave his mouth. Maybe sex wasn't going to be her way of dealing. "I overheard something today." Okay now she had his attention, and he pulled back so he could see her properly. "I know what the deal is." He shook his head knowing exactly what was coming next. "I want to..."
"No."
"But Hap."
"I said no Liv." He grabbed her ass and lifted her off him as he moved from the bed.
"Hap the club is already going through enough and I can't help with that but this I can. It's just a few dances Hap it's not a big deal." She pleaded as she to got to her feet.
"Not a big deal?"
"Not compared to the consequences if I don't do this." Happy turned her back on him. Liv took a deep breath, tucking her hair behind her ears before approaching him. She had to do this.
Happy felt her hands on his back but he'd been damned if he was going to turn around. He was not budging on this and the sooner she got that the better.
"Look I know your worried about me, about my safety but we can tell Darby that I won't do this unless I have a patch member with me." She stumbled back when Happy spun around.
"Don't think enough of my brothers have already seen you naked." He hissed as he shoved his finger in her face.
There it was finally. She was surprised it had taken him this long to bring that up.
"I wondered when you were going to throw that back in my face."
"What did ya expect? I have to sit with my brothers knowin' that they've seen what belongs to me, how am I meant to deal with that shit?"
"The same way I have dealt with the fact that you have fucked your way through the entire population of sweetbutts." She watched his brows furrow at her. "Gina ring any bells?" Happy didn't answer but she knew he knew that name. But this wasn't about that stupid whore, she had more important things to contend with. "I don't care about any of that I can deal with that shit question is can you." She rested her hands on hips taking a deep breath. "Look you need to tell me if you can deal with it because if you can't then this will never work." She spoke as she closed the distance between them till she was standing toe to toe with him, her hands resting on his cut. "I've already told you I'm here Hap. I'm in this for good. Are you?"
Happy was too angry to deal with this shit. Plus he wasn't a man of words he had already showed her that he was in this and if she didn't know that then she didn't know him. Pushing her hands off him he stepped to the side of her and headed for the door. Liv shook her head fighting back her tears.
"If you leave now Hap..." She trailed off leaving her own threat lingering in the air.
Happy stooped at the door. Obviously the shit with Donna, the kid and her Dad had messed with her head. He thought she just needed comfort, comfort from sex but it seemed that she obviously need more, she needed to know that he was in this she needed that security. He'd fucked this up once, 9 years ago and he wasn't stupid enough to make the same mistake twice.
"The Darby deal is still a no. I don't wanna talk bout it again." He paused and opened the door but before he left he gave her what she needed. "I ain't going anywhere Liv. I've told ya that before. Your my Old Lady ain't nothing gonna change that." And with that he walked out of the room closing the door behind him.
For the second time that day she stood there completely frozen. His words still echoing in her head. He was right she was his Old Lady, and she realised that she had never stopped being his Old Lady and she wasn't about to.
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30 minutes later Liv emerged from the dorm room she had spent all day hiding in. She was done with that.
Walking into the bar she held her head up high as she looked for her man.
She had spent the pass 30 minutes preparing herself so that when she walked out she would make her man proud. She had changed into a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a silky green tank top, with was tucked into her jeans and had a low cut neck that accentuated her cleavage. Her blonde hair was tumbling over her shoulders in waves. Her make-up was done to perfection so all signs of tears were gone.
Her eyes had finally found him. He was sitting on the leather sofa next to Jax would was nudging him in the arm. She felt the familiar rush run through her body as he looked at her. She stood still waiting for his signal, she didn't have to wait long.
Ignoring the stares she walked over to her man who was now on his feet and moving towards her.
"You look fucking amazing."
"It's all for you Hap." He smirked at her. "So...are we going to make this official?"
She got her answer when he bent down as kissed her. The kiss was rough, both of them fighting for dominance. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and his arm that wasn't holding his beer wrapped around her waist as he hoisted her closer, her tiptoes scraping the floor. Even in 5 inch heels she still only just made it passed his shoulder.
She felt him smile against her lips at the cat calls that were erupting around them. She felt him pulling away but she pulled him back. Sucking his lower lip before sliding her tinge back into his mouth.
This kiss wasn't just about Happy marking his territory it was about her to. She needed to show the sweetbutts that he was hers. And the way Happy allowed her to pull him back to her he understood that she had to do this as much as he did.
"Think that did it." She asked as they finally put one another down.
Happy wrapped his arm around her waist and led her back to the sofa he was occupying before she had walked in. Pulling her onto his lap he started introducing her to his brothers that were sat with him, but Liv got distracted when she felt someone was watching her. Looking around she found steely grey/blue eyes staring back at her.
Clay raised his glass to her and Liv tried her best to smile back at him but she couldn't instead she turned away as she shifted closer to Happy, his arm around her waist tightening around her, She was safe now, but for how long.