Without a Sound

Disclamer: I hereby disclaim all characters.

Review like you've never reviewed before! I feel like my readers disappeared…

Chapter 12

It's been a week from my first day back from suspension. The bandages are now off, but the bandages have been replaced with a sweatband. I don't really like looking at the scars anymore.

My time in front of the mirror is now reduced to only twenty minutes. I sometimes even smile at my reflection.

At school, things have changed a little. People don't hurt me anymore, but sometimes I do get nasty looks and verbal abuse. I'm satisfied. I don't really like being teased, but I'd take a teasing rather than a beating.

Because of this fact, my body only has scars now…

Reno will talk to me on occasion; I like it because he doesn't really have any intention of having a conversation. He just wants me to listen. It makes me feel sort useful.

I decided I would try basketball. I knew there was no was I would be on the starter team, but I figured just going to practices and doing my best would be enough.

Tryouts were okay. Coach Yuffie looked really uncertain about me joining the team. I couldn't really blame her. She was a fast talker, so it was hard to understand what she was saying.

'Are you sure you want to do this. I don't let you play in P.E. for a reason you know.' I could barely make out what she was saying.

I wrote:

I know this seems ridiculous, but I want to be stronger. This isn't just a whim of mine. I really want to try my hardest. I'm not asking you to put me on the starter team, I just want to go to practice and work like everyone else. I can handle it. I may be deaf and mute, but I'm not an invalid.

'Sora… I don't think you're an invalid. I just don't want you to get hurt or anything like that. I heard about you're breakdown, I don't want that to happen again.'

I wrote:

Please don't let that incident dictate you're decision. I apologized personally to every person involved and I'm in the process of bettering myself. It's kind of hard though because everyone is hindering me, they keep saying I can't do it! I can and I'm tired of people telling me otherwise. I don't want special treatment and if I get hurt, it'll only be an obstacle that I'll have to overcome. Please Coach Yuffie. I will get on my hands and knees and beg you if I have to.

'Sora…' I watched her sigh. 'Okay.' She said and I jumped up and down clapping my hands.

Thank you. Thank you! I wrote.

'Well, Sora I still need to see what you can do. Go get a basketball.'

I ran to the other side of the gym and took a ball from the bin. I dribbled the ball.

'Can you dribble faster?' she asked.

I brought my hand down lower and dribbled at a faster pace.

'Other hand.' I barely made out.

I moved to the other hand. The slow dribbling was easy but doing it faster was hard and the ball would move from under my hand.

'We can work on that. Can you run and dribble at the same time?'

I ran across the gym, dribbling the ball.

'You're pretty fast. Can you shoot?'

I nodded and stood about a foot from the three-point line. I slammed the ball down on the line, it flew up and into the goal.

I did the same process around the whole perimeter of the three-point line, only missing once.

I stepped about a foot away from the free-throw line. I slammed the ball down, using around 25% less strength. I did this ten times, making it in every shot.

I walked up to Coach Yuffie and wrote:

I can't do layups yet. I have to figure it out.

She stared at me, dumbfounded. 'I can't believe I'm saying this… I want you on the team. I definitely think you'll get better. If you try hard enough, maybe I can put you on the starter team. We'd have to make up hand motions though or something…" she spoke slower this time.

I literally jumped up and wrapped my arms around her. I wrote:

Thank you so much.

She nodded before I left the gym.

The afterschool practice has been fine. I usually keep to myself during drills. I've been running on the treadmill to improve my endurance and lifting weights to gain muscle tone.

Then there's the diet… I drink a lot of milk. I think I've gained some weight since the week started.

Though all of this happened, I'm still to shy to change in front of everyone. I change in a stall, away from everyone else.

One good thing that has come out of this is that Leon drives me home after school. He started tutoring students after school while I practice.

Leon… it makes me so happy that I can call him that in my head!

But that's really about it… besides the ride home, I'm not really being treated any differently than any other student. It's not like I was really expecting anything from him, but…

It's a little discouraging when you're boyfriend calls you shameless for asking for a kiss. He is my boyfriend, right?

Right?

I mean I knew he told me that he didn't like affection, but he doesn't even smile at me.

I'm a little scared… he pushes me away and I don't know what to do about it… even just a little pat on the head would do… but he doesn't even do that anymore.

I don't want him to leave again.

After I got out of bed and got ready for school, I walked down the stairs and moved to the kitchen. Pluto stood from his resting spot and trotted over to me.

I patted his head. Hey buddy.

The dog woofed and licked my hand. I opened the fridge and pulled out my two bottles of milk and grabbed the egg carton.

I quickly fried three eggs and put the carton away. I began to eat when my dad walked in.

'I'm really happy you joined the basketball team. You look a lot healthier than you did last week. You're face is a little fuller.' He signed and spoke before pinching my cheeks.

I swatted at his hands and smiled. I couldn't help but notice how Dad seemed so proud that I was improving myself on my own. It gave me motivation to try harder. Before it was hard to even have a conversation with him, because I was so gloomy.

I signed that I wanted to do my best in basketball and get some muscles on my bones. Dad smiled.

'You can do it.' He signed.

That was the first time anyone has ever said that to me since the incident. I didn't really realized what it meant to have encouragement until I finally had it.

I walked over to him and hugged him. He stood stiff for a second before returning the hug.

'You two are affectionate this morning.' I watched my mother say as she entered the kitchen. I pulled away from dad and smiled at him. Thanks.

He nodded.

I finished my milk and I waited for Roxas to come down. When he did, he looked very disheveled.

'Are you okay?' I signed.

'Yeah… I'm fine. Riku was helping me with my calculus homework all night so I'm tired.' He signed.

'What are you doing?' I asked.

'Differentiation… I don't get it at all… Riku said it was helpless…'

I smiled. Leon was helping me with differentiation in the middle of last week. I finally understood it after a good forty-five minutes of doing practice problems.

'I can help you with it.' I signed.

'Sora… you don't take calculus. I really appreciate the offer, but you've never had the class before. It's really hard.' Roxas signed.

I frowned. 'I guarantee that I can help you. I know calculus.' I signed.

'Sora. It's okay… I can handle it." I watched Roxas say.

I huffed and moved to the front door. I took my book bag and brought it to the kitchen.

I pulled out my calculus notes and handed it to him. 'I take calculus.' I said.

He opened my notebook and looked through it's pages. 'Sora… I had no idea? When did they let you take calculus and with who?' he signed.

'I take it second period, with Mr. Leonhart.' I signed.

'Sora this is amazing! You're notes are so thorough! Can I borrow them? Please?' Roxas signed.

'I need my notebook for class. You can borrow them after school. You can get them before I start practice.' I signed.

'Thank you Sora! Mom, Dad, did you know about this?' Roxas asked.

'I was aware, you're father wasn't.' Mom said.

I smiled and reminded everyone that we needed to get to school.

-Without a Sound-

I decided I would visit Leon since we were always a little early. After taking the necessary things from my locker I dropped them off in homeroom.

I walked over to Leon's classroom and poked my head around the corner to see Leon and Cloud talking. I decided I would wait to reveal myself and stood against the wall.

After two minutes I poked my head again to see if they were finishing up.

And that's when I saw it. Leon's lips curled up, his head tilted back a little and he laughed.

I couldn't hear it, but it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen…

Why couldn't I make him laugh? I decided they weren't going to be done anytime soon so I made my way back to homeroom with a frown on my face.

I wanted to make Leon laugh and smile. I want Leon to miss me when I'm not there and greet me happily when he sees me… I know that's asking for a lot but I can't help it.

What did Cloud have that I didn't?

Working ears and a voice…

I sighed and sat in my homeroom desk.

'You know, you might not be able to hear you're huffing and puffing but we can. Keep it down.' I watched Rufus say.

Rufus Shinra was pissing me off. I was tired of his little remarks every morning. I let out a loud huff and whipped out my notebook, writing in big black letters.

YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!

'Why you!' I read him say before he slapped me in the face. He started to walk away but I grabbed his long blond hair and yanked him to the ground.

I noticed a boy in the doorway laughing. 'Ahhhhh! Rufus you just got owned! Just accept defeat and sit back in your chair.' The boy said.

I let go of Rufus' hair and watched him retreat back to his seat. A large scowl on his face.

'Sora right? The name's Zell. I think you're an okay dude. Before you were just a pussy, but after all that shit you toughened up. I see you at basketball practice sometimes. You have mad skills at the free-throw dude. I hope to see you on the starter team with Seifer and I.' he said.

I smiled and wrote:

I sure hope so.

The bell rang and more people started to file in.

'Well, I'll see you in practice after school.' He said before moving back in his seat.

I smiled and waited for homeroom to be over.

When the bell rang for class I moved back to Leon's room. I walked in and saw Leon at the board. I walked over to him and smiled.

He glanced at me. 'Good morning.' He said.

I sighed quietly and moved to my chair. I pulled out my notebook and a pencil. I didn't really need to listen during this class, but I didn't want to seem rude.

As the class started, I began my drawing of Pluto eating a cheeseburger. I smiled and drew a picture of Pluto playing the piano. Pluto was such a cute dog. I needed to start running in the morning. I decided I would have him run with me, I mean, that was his job.

When the bell rang, I gathered my things and moved then to Leon's desk. After that I moved to Mr. Saïx's room to check in. When that was done, I ran back down and sat at the large desk.

'Okay, were reviewing the derivatives of trig functions and the techniques of differentiation. I have some problems that I want you to finish now and then some to work on at home.' I watched him say.

I nodded and he handed me a sheet. I started the problems and when I was on the seventh one. I took out my notebook and wrote the question that's been bothering me.

I wrote:

Do you like me?

I handed him the notebook and he gave me a look. 'Sora. Work.' He pointed to my sheet.

I wrote the next question:

Am I your boyfriend? Is it okay for me to think of you as mine?

I handed him the notebook and he took it from me. 'Sora. It's math class, do your work.' He ordered.

I frowned and looked back to my work.

Why wouldn't he answer my questions?

When the bell rang, I took my things and left quickly, forgetting about the notebook.

I had an extra one in my bag anyway.

I took a second to swallow the lump in my throat and quiet the ache in my heart.

I put things in my locker and took things out, trying my hardest to ignore the rush of upsetting feelings.

I made it down the stairwell and into the cafeteria. I didn't really feel like eating anymore.

Leon wasn't attracted to me, and he didn't want to be bothered with me. I was just a nuisance. What did I expect anyway? He told me from the beginning that he didn't like childishness or affection. I was stupid to think that he would want to call me his boyfriend, or treat me like I was… I don't know… important?

There was a hand on my shoulder and I turned to see Roxas. 'Whoa! Are you okay Sora? You look like you're about to explode.' Roxas said and pulled on my wrist.

I was trying my hardest to hold everything in. I was really worried about this. He said he wouldn't leave me, but it didn't even matter if I didn't have him to begin with…

When we stopped I realized we were on the second floor.

'Hey Sora, nobody is around to see you but me. You look really bad. You should just let it ou-' He paused mid sign when he realized that I was already shaking from my tears.

I was taking huge gasps of breath to calm down, but it wasn't helping… I just felt like a piece of crap.

'Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?' he signed.

I raised my hands to sign only to drop them and wipe at my crying face.

'What's going on?' I immediately turned away from Cloud, who was moving down the hallway towards us.

I continued to swipe at my eyes. When there was a hand on my shoulder I moved away.

The hand turned me around. 'What's wrong?' Cloud asked with a very serious expression on his face.

I just shook my head.

'Should I get Leonhart?' he asked.

I shook my head frantically and more tears fell.

'Sora…' Cloud trailed off. 'I know about you and Leon…'

'Who is Leon? What is going on?' Roxas sputtered.

'Can you please tell me what's wrong?' Cloud asked.

I sighed and lifted my hands. I signed to Roxas that Leon was Mr. Leonhart, my math teacher.

'What! Sora are you crazy! You can't get involved with a teacher!' Roxas signed.

'Translation?' Cloud asked.

I decided I would explain everything to Roxas and have him tell Cloud.

'Leon and I… got together… after the incident. I know he was unsure about being with me, but I wanted to be with him anyway. He told me off the bat that he wasn't a very good candidate for what I wanted. But I really like him a lot… I've been trying my hardest to get better and stronger, everyone is noticing… but Leon doesn't notice. He doesn't even smile at me. He doesn't treat me any different. I know it was ridiculous to think that he would actually be with me. But he doesn't really talk to me and he doesn't seem like he even wants me around. Cloud can make him smile and laugh! How come I can't? And then today I asked him whether or not he liked me or if I was his boyfriend… he just brushed me off… he told me to do my math work. He doesn't care about me! I just want him to acknowledge my existence and not think of me as a nuisance. I know it seems childish and demanding… but I like him so much… I can't help what I feel…' by the time I was done I slumped against the lockers and cried silently.

Roxas explained it all to Cloud and I just sat there, wiping my eyes.

'I can't believe you didn't tell me about this Sora!' Roxas signed.

I took a deep breath and shrugged.

'Sora, you need to talk to Leon about this. Quite frankly, if Leon is really treating you this way he needs to get his butt kicked. About the smiling thing… I don't know why he doesn't smile with you… but he only smiles with me when we're talking about you. Leon wouldn't start something if he wasn't going to like it. Just talk to him.' Cloud said.

'He doesn't want to talk to me… the only things he ever says to me that isn't math related is "Hello, good morning, get on the bike Sora, and good night…" nothing else.' Roxas interpreted my signs.

'Sora, you need to be aggressive with this. He drives you home right? You need to make him listen to you okay… I don't think Leon realizes he's hurting you.' I watched Cloud say.

I nodded and that's when the bell rang.

'Go to class okay? Don't be upset, just force him to talk it over with you.' Cloud said before leaving.

I nodded and headed to class, Roxas trailing behind me.