Oh, wow. I know it's been ages since I updated, but don't think I've forgotten about you! It's just been so busy, last week of school, Christmas, and on that, I've been sick as well. But I finally found some time and inspiration to finish the chapter; and I hope you'll enjoy it! It's really just about one thing this time but I felt like we've come to the point when this needed to happen, originally this chapter was meant to happen a lot later. But I figured it fitted, since its Christmas and everything. So... :)

And thank you as always for reading and reviewing!

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Chapter 31

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"Ssch, lay still." Draco's breath was even. He reached out and stroke her soft cheek. "This is one of the best mornings ever", he whispered against her temple. Alice just felt the way his chest was raising ever so often as he was breathing.

"It is?" asked Alice; just to hear his voice.

"Yes, along with the other one", he said and she could hear his smile. "You were there then too, remember?" Alice pushed herself up and looked him in the eyes. When though they might seem dull to most, Alice found them loving and warm. And those small sprinkles of bright blue.

"Yes, I remember", she said and smiled. They just looked at each other for the moment. It's been long since the55y'd done just that. Nothing needed to be said really, everything was already there.

"What changed your mind?" Draco suddenly asked, for a moment, his gaze flickered from hers.

"This has always been on my mind", Alice said and leaned her chin on his chest. "It was just so..."

"Complicated", Draco filled in with an unsure smile. Alice smiled.

"Complicated, yeah", she said.

"Did you mean what you said last night?" Just as Alice was to answer as the door opened and Daphne stepped in to the room with a big smile. Alice got out of the bed in an instant.

"Not for your sake, but for a friend, you should probably get out of here", said Daphne and leaned on the doorframe. "Well, maybe for your sake too", Daphne changed her mind. Alice glanced to the side, at Draco before she headed for the exit.

"Alice?" Draco asked, she couldn't just leave, not now.

"Yes, every word", she said before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. Draco let his head fall back on the pillow. It'd been so close. He just wanted it out of his head. Why did it have to be so hard? It was nothing more than words after all, words she probably already knew was inside of him. Draco looked at the time, it was Saturday morning, 9 am and he had exactly fourteen hours until everything was going down. It felt cold, though it wasn't - they'd reached April and it was actually starting to get warmer outside. He changed his clothes and headed for breakfast, if it still was any left that will say.

"Are you going to get me anything?" Pansy stood leaned by the wall to his side.

"I'm sorry?" She walked over to him and stopped right in front of him. He used to think she was rather pretty, but there was a madness over her that hadn't existed before, which twisted her face.

"For our anniversary", she said and put her hands on his chest. "You know, it's been three years since that our first kiss this Thursday", Pansy continued.

"Um, oh", he said, he had no memory of exactly which day it was, or that they'd exchanged gifts before. "We haven't spoken for weeks", he finally said. Pansy stepped back from him.

"Nine days", she said firmly. The she did a sudden move forward and pressed her lips against Dracos. The kiss gave him chills he didn't usually get. It felt cold and malicious. As she clung on to him as he tried to find a way to get out of it.

"Really?" He said before he left her standing by herself. That wasn't right, none of it.

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"Alice can I speak to you?" Draco asked.

"No", Alice said, without turning to face him. "I don't speak to gits like you."

"Why would you say that?" Alice didn't care that he spoke to her; she took her things and started walking away from the scene.

"What happened to you?" he yelled. She turned and recoiled several steps before even looking at him.

"I-I don't know what…" she stuttered.

"You used to be so carefree and funny. When I wanted to escape my nightmare I could just go to you", he said, taking a step towards her, "now you are my nightmare." The words did more harm to her then she dared admitting. She opened her mouth several times but couldn't really find anything to say.

"I used to like you so much and now I'm afraid of even looking at you. I know I made a mistake, but I'm only human, Alice." She cleared her throat.

"I never wanted this", she said. "I never wanted any of this. I just wanted… I saw you with Pansy."

"Can I…" he paused. "Can I hug you?" She looked up on him with wide eyes.

"Of course. You don't have to ask", she said as she felt tears building in her eyes. He took the missing steps forward hand put his arms around her.

"I'm sorry", she said in the embrace. "I didn't know how to react..."

"Are you really leaving?" He asked and let go of her. She looked at him, he was worried and confused. And the truth was, well, she could just tell the truth. Because it wouldn't matter.

"Yes", she breathed out.

"How can you do that? How can you just leave everything?" He hesitated, something that seemed rather common as they'd spoken lately.

"Because, I'm not leaving anything behind", she said and looked away from him.

"What about your friends? Daphne?" When she didn't respond, he spoke what she waited for him to say. "What about Blaise?"

"They will remember me; think about me once in a while. Wonder what happened to that intense girl in school. Maybe they'll miss me for a while. But it will pass", Alice said. Draco looked doubtful. "No one would think of me more than that."

"I would", Draco suddenly said. Their eyes met, there was no doubt, no hesitating. "You would be leaving someone behind", he continued. "You would leave me."

"Draco, you can't feel that way..." She put a hand on his arm.

"My mind tells me that I'm not in love with you anymore, but at the same time I have this acing hole in my chest and I-I..." he paused and looked at her, she stood absolutely quiet. "It has to be you."

"How do you know that?" Alice took half a step away from him.

"Because, Alice, there is no one else", he said and took one step towards her. "Because ever since we met, it's always been you." For every half step Alice took away from him, he took a full step towards her. Finally Alice hit the wall behind her.

"I know what you did", he whispered. "I know..."

"Know what, Draco?" They were only inches apart.

"Blaise told me. Don't you understand that's why he left you?" Alice stood quiet, with her mouth slightly open, as if she tried to say something. "He asked me if I loved you... and I couldn't say yes."

"Wh..." he interrupted her by putting a finger over her lips.

"But I couldn't say no either."

"We could never tell anyone", she said, not being able to hold the tears away any longer.

"I wouldn't have to, just to know that you love me too..." She put her hand on his chest and closed her eyes. Then she felt his breath against her face. She opened her eyes slightly, they were only inches apart.

"Draco", she said in a whisper.

"You can make my mind forget all you want, but my heart will always remember", he said. "Ever since that morning last summer I've wanted to do this", he continued in a whisper and leaned in to her, giving her a kiss. The emotions inside her were exploded; they ran all the way from her head to her toes, feeling most intense in the chest and in the lips. Her lips, that was touching his. This couldn't end, she wished it never would. She put her arms around his neck, pulling him as close to herself as she could. He responded by doing the same, their bodies were as close together as they could. It wasn't like last time, it was better. Better because now they'd share it for as long as they lived. Better because no one could take it away. He pulled out and looked her in the eyes.

"It doesn't matter as long as you're with her, Draco. You can't have us both", she said and walked away from him. He had to decide fist, then they could talk. Alice raced through the corridors; she needed to create distance between them before she made another mistake. Was it even right? She'd pictured him as the cruel one this day, but really, wasn't it herself? She ran in to the bathroom and stopped before one of the mirrors. She was the one doing wrong; he was just a confused teenage boy. But she'd already made up her mind. Could she really tell him the truth, the one about she wished they'd be together forever when she knew it wouldn't last?

"Alice?" Blaise said and walked up to her as Alice turned to face him. "Don't be to mad at Draco", he said and put his hands on her shoulders. "He tries his best, you know?" Blaise stepped back from Alice and started walking away from her. "You mean everything to him." He looked for a moment as if he would start walk again, but suddenly changed his mind.

"He's doing it tonight by the way; I would say it wasn't long now." Alice turned and ran. He'd probably gone to bed, just to feel rested enough for when it would happen. The common room was close to empty. She ran over to the dormitory's corridor and knocked on the last door to the right. There was a rumble followed by a swearing and footsteps.

"What?" Draco said as he opened the door. When he saw Alice, he immediately straightened up and tried not to look too tiered.

"How are you feeling?" Alice asked and smiled nervously. Draco looked at her with doubt.

"If you just came here to chat maybe we could take it in the morning?"

"You won't be here", Alice quickly said. He reacted to her words. "In the morning, you won't be here then."

"How'd...?" Alice took a step in and closed the door behind her.

"Blaise told me." For a moment Draco looked mad.

"He said he wouldn't tell you", he said, mostly to himself. Draco stroked her shoulder and arm, his hand stopped by hers for a moment, and it seemed as if he considered holding it.

"What about Pansy then?" said Alice and took courage to look him in the eyes.

"I-I haven't really spoken to her", he admitted.

"Well, if you're still with her there's no reason for me to be here." Alice straightened up and turned to leave the room.

"I don't love her, isn't that what matters?" Alice opened the door and to a step outside.

"We have something and you know it", he said in despair, "a connection. And I refuse to believe you haven't felt it as well!" Alice turned and looked up on him, their eyes met.

"You're the one who made the choice and Draco, you didn't choose me", she said with her eyes filled with tears. She wasn't going to let them escape, but maybe he needed to see that they actually were there.

"Please, Alice", he said, putting his hands around her face.

"No Draco, I'm sorry." Maybe it'd be best if he didn't get his hopes up. Maybe it was best if they weren't together.