Without a Sound
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Chapter 38
There was definitely something wrong with Leon and I. It's been a week and I haven't been able to really talk to him.
I've tried to approach him many times about the Brian thing but the only time I really see him is when he drives me home or during class and he won't let me stick around in his classroom long enough.
Ever since the day of the tournament he's done nothing but brush me off. He won't give me a chance to kiss him for longer than three seconds and will pat me on the head like I'm some kind of dog.
I can't stand it.
And another thing that really bothers me is the fact that he's been really into his phone lately. Even during our classes, if it rings, he'll pick it up and step out of text a reply as soon as he gets it.
Who is so important? And if this person is important… aren't I important enough to him to know about it.
Maybe it's his parents or other family? What about an old buddy he hasn't seen in years? Or maybe…
A better girlfriend… boyfriend?
It hurts a lot to be suspicious like this. I don't want to think that he would do something like that… I know Leon is a good person and I hate having doubts about him. And it's not like I have solid proof anyway.
There's part of me that thinks that this is all just something trivial and that I'm making a big deal out of it… but there's a bigger part of me that doesn't trust him enough to think that it's nothing.
I just don't know what to do.
-Without a Sound-
Having a brace on your ankle is really inconvenient. It's been a week and I haven't done anything that could possibly jeopardize the healing of the sprain. So that means no training…
Well, no physical training. mental training, I've been doing a lot of that. I try and distract myself with practicing. I practice by watching others practice, I memorize their habits and their patterns. That way I can make smarter decisions on the court during the game.
I felt an arm on my shoulder and I smiled when Zell sat next to me. 'How's it going, buddy?' he signed.
I shrugged. 'Well, I really understand now how you can train without picking up a basketball… it's amazing how much you can see just by watching.' I signed.
'Yeah. It's cool. Well, I better get back before Tseng bites my head off for distracting your training.' Zell said with a smile before heading back down the bleachers.
It's Monday, I have to wear this infernal brace until Friday. It's annoying…
But what's more annoying is that for work purposes, Leon can't drive me home. He said that he has a lot of IEPs to type and that he would have to go home early everyday of this week to get them finished by the deadline.
He says this but he's still attached to that damn phone… is it work related? I mean, he works at the school why can't he just talk to his employers face to face at the school.
I sighed and watched the others practice until six o'clock where I left the gym and got into my parent's car and drove home.
When I entered the living room, Roxas was sitting on the couch texting. Is everyone more interested in their phones than real life?
'Hey, Sora? What does Leon's house look like? I've been there once but I wasn't really paying attention.' Roxas asked.
I frowned… Why would he need to know that? What was going on? 'It's kind of small but it's orderly and clean.' I replied.
'Does he have table space?' he asked.
'A small coffee table and countertops… but that's it…' I signed. Why was this making me slightly uncomfortable?
'Sounds nice… but I was kind of hoping he'd have that starving educator type of pad, you know? That way I'd have something on him. The dude has like… no flaws.' Roxas seemed to say with a giggle.
Don't talk about him like you know him! You don't know him at all… of course he has flaws… 'Well, I'm sorry.' I signed.
'Well, it's not like it's your fault the dude is cooler than ice cubes.' Roxas said.
I nodded and looked around the room awkwardly.
'Wait! Maybe he has a shitty bathroom! Does he, Sora?' Roxas asked.
I scoffed. 'Why don't you just go and see for yourself. It's like a fifteen minute walk.' I signed before heading upstairs.
What was with Roxas' sudden interest in everything Leon? It was kind of pissing me off.
-Without a Sound-
The next day I would try my luck with talking to Leon again. The truth was that I missed him a lot. I miss going to his house… I miss his embrace, his gentle smile… the way he smells…
I got dressed and headed downstairs. I ate breakfast and waited patiently for everyone to be ready to leave. I was almost dozing off when Roxas sat next to me.
'Hey, are you okay? You've been a little testy lately.' Roxas signed.
I shrugged. 'I was tired… and I think I'm suffering from basketball withdrawal…' I signed with a voiceless chuckle.
Roxas smiled and patted my shoulder. 'Well, the brace comes off Friday, right?'
I nodded and we headed to the car for school.
When we got there I headed straight for Leon's classroom. Maybe I could catch him before class.
I walked inside and I smiled when I saw Leon laughing at Cloud who was blushing redder than a lobster.
I knocked on the wall to get their attention and smiled. 'Hey, Cloud.' I greeted.
'Hey there, Sora. How are you? I heard you made the team, congrats.' Cloud asked.
I shrugged. 'I'm okay.' I signed.
Cloud seemed to understand that sign. 'Just okay?' he asked.
I nodded.
'Well, I'm going to head to homeroom… you have a good day Sora.' Cloud said with a smile.
I nodded again and sent him a smile before he left the room. I walked over to Leon and he turned to me.
'Are you really okay?' Leon asked.
I shook my head and grabbed his arm and pulled him into a standing position. I then hugged my arms around him and hid my face in his shirt. I sighed when he returned the embrace for a second.
Hold me a little tighter… didn't you miss me too?
Leon pulled away from me and smiled softly. 'You should head to homeroom. I'll see you in class.'
No… I don't want to go yet… will you kiss me goodbye? I looked him in the eyes and I hoped he could see how much I didn't want him to send me away.
He leaned down and pressed him lips against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tried to deepen the kiss. I felt him make a noise and push me away.
'Sora, we shouldn't do something like that here, okay?' Leon said.
I nodded and left the room. I kind of felt like someone had a grip on my heart and they were squeezing it tightly. It made me want to cry but I wasn't going to let that happen.
I made it to homeroom then moved back to Leon's classroom for math… I was kind of uncomfortable coming back into the room after what happened but I would have to suck it up.
The class before calculus was okay because Leon didn't call on me or anything. He just left me alone. But when my watch told me to change classes, I became a little nervous.
I headed down to study hall and checked in before going heading back to Leon's classroom. When I entered the room, Leon wasn't in there. I walked over to the desk and saw a note.
Went to make some copies, I'll be right back.
I sighed and sat in his chair… it was comfier so I decided I would sit in it till he comes back. I leaned back into the chair and noticed that Leon's leather jacket was hanging on the back of it.
I checked to see if Leon was coming in before taking a big whiff of it. I felt like such a creeper but I loved his smell more than any other smell in the whole wide world.
It was in mid whiff that I felt something vibrating. It wasn't my watch. I checked Leon's jacket pockets and found that his cell phone was ringing. I took a breath, I wasn't supposed to look through his stuff but I was really curious.
I looked at the screen, he had a text message. I pressed the green button and the text appeared on the screen.
Did you make the reservation for us? –Roxas
Reservation? Like a restaurant reservation? What were Roxas and Leon doing? And why the hell didn't I know about it.
Were they going out behind my back? It would make sense… that was why Roxas was so interested in him. He wanted to know more about the person he was dating…
I closed the phone and put it back in the pocket. I grabbed a pen and wrote:
Forgot about a test… Sorry! I'm going back to study hall today.
I ran from the classroom back to my study hall. I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet… Roxas wouldn't do that to me would he?
I sighed and rubbed my head… I was definitely getting a headache.
-Without a Sound-
Wednesday's basketball practice was cancelled because Tseng and Coach Yuffie had to register us for the distract competition and couldn't be there to monitor us.
Not that we really needed to be monitored but it was a school rule.
Since I was going home early, I texted Leon to see if he could drive me home.
When my phone vibrated I opened it and looked at him reply.
I'm already at home working. I'm sorry Sora –Leon
I sighed and texted my parents and they said that they were coming to pick me up.
After I put my phone away, my phone vibrated once more. I opened my phone once again and there was another text.
I'll be coming back home a little later than usual. I have to prepare for a project with my partners for a little while before I head home. –Roxas
I frowned… why did this make me so damn nervous? I walked outside and waited for my parents to pick me up.
When they did my dad signed that we were going grocery shopping because we were running low on food. I nodded and dozed off in the car.
When I woke up. I was in the parking lot of the supermarket. I guess they went in without me.
I was about to doze off again when I spotted something in the corner of my eye. Roxas was sneaking out of the market… well, that's what it looked like. He then motioned to someone behind him and I saw Leon walking out of the store with a shopping basket.
Roxas seemed to pout and walk back out to Leon to shove him a little. It looked like he was trying to get him to goof around a little. Leon pushed him away a little and then laughed when Roxas stumbled a bit.
Oh God… they looked so cute together.
I watched them walk off together… as they moved farther and farther away, I could feel my heart breaking a little.
What the fuck was going on? Roxas? That was lower than low…
I felt a tear drop down my face and I swiped at it quickly. That didn't really prove anything did it?
I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. After about fifteen minutes, my parents came back and I helped them load the car.
-Without a Sound-
I think I was going to go crazy from all of this emotional stress. I can't concentrate… I lose my appetite. I even think my hair was starting to come out.
It was scary and I didn't know what to do. Whenever I think that maybe Leon is dating Roxas behind my back… I keep wondering… what could I have done wrong? What did I do?
And then I start hating myself again… and then I start itching. I don't scratch because I know I'll end up hurting myself. And I don't want to go back down that road. I lie on my bed Friday morning and start the day with a few deep breaths. I sat up and started to remove my clothes, including the brace, so that I could take a shower.
I turned on the water and stepped inside. I took my shower quickly and got dressed. I didn't want to look at the mirror. I didn't want to look at myself. I took another deep breath and left my bedroom.
I headed downstairs and sat on the living room couch. I wasn't really that hungry. I was dozing off yet again. But I jumped when I felt something plop onto my lap. I looked down to see an apple.
'Dude, are you okay? You don't look so good? You gotta remember that your part of a team so you can't slack off.' Roxas signed.
'Don't tell me what to do.' I signed back and turned away from him.
I felt a hand on my shoulder turn me around. 'What is with you, Sora? I didn't do anything! If something is bothering you, don't take it out on me!' Roxas seemed to yell.
I huffed and glared at him. I bit into the apple just so I wouldn't do anything stupid. My parents came into the room, probably after hearing Roxas' yelling.
They ushered us to the car to head to school. I sighed and looked out the window the entire ride.
During class, I couldn't even look at Leon. I just doodled in my notebook until my watch told me class was over.
But I still had Calculus. I walked down to my study hall before going back to the classroom. I walked in as and walked down the little hall. Then I spotted Leon texting on his phone. I approached him quietly. I got behind him and read the text.
Can't wait for this afternoon! ;) Don't tell Sora. –Roxas
I was surprised Leon didn't notice me behind him. But at this point I didn't even care.
I was pissed. I slammed my fist on my desk and he jumped.
'Why are you texting Roxas? What are you two doing behind my back?' I signed frantically.
Leon stood and moved to speak but I closed my eyes. 'Leon, if you wanted to dump me for Roxas… I would have felt better about it if you had told me straight up. Don't just sneak around behind my back! I can't believe you would do that to me! What the fuck did I do to deserve this.' I signed, my hands wouldn't stop.
Neither would my tears.
'The reservation, the grocery shopping, Roxas' sudden interest in everything about you… it all makes sense now! You never kiss me, you push me away, you don't let me talk to you for more than five minutes… you hate me don't you? Are you afraid that I might do something stupid if you break up me? I'll… I'll be just fine without you so if you won't end it I will! Fuck you, Leon! It's over!' I let out a voiceless sob before heading to the door.
I felt Leon grab my wrist and pull me back into the room. I struggled out of his hold. He twisted me around and crashed his lips against mine. That only made me angrier. I pushed him away and in a sudden flash of fury I rammed my fist in his face.
He fell back and I sprinted for the door. I ran down the stairs, entered the gym and sighed when I found it empty. I ran into the locker room and hit in one of the stalls. I cried and cried and pounded on the stall walls in heartache.
I had never felt so betrayed in my entire life. It was just not fair. Leon probably got tired of me… he got tired of the silence and the headaches that are a part of dealing with a problem child like me. Roxas is basically just a cooler, hotter, blonder version of me. He was way more fun to be around and probably just a hundred percent better than me. I just wish that betrayal didn't hurt so much.
And now I basically back to square one… I didn't want to be here. I just wanted to go home and sleep… maybe I'd feel better after a nice nap…
I new that that was just my mind trying to trick myself… but I'd rather be the ignorant fool that feels no pain than the wise man who just knows too much.
I should have just let it go. I shouldn't have tried to discover them. I got out of the stall and ran out of the gym and off of campus.
I would just walk home.
After the forty-minute walk, I entered my house and ran to my room, locked the door, and blocked out every thought in my head.
I took off my watch so that I wouldn't wake up and closed my eyes. After about an hour, I finally drifted off to sleep.
-Without a Sound-
When I woke up, I really didn't feel better. I took a deep breath and stretched. I pulled the covers around me and sobbed. I felt so cold and alone. I wanted Leon back… I still miss the way he feels, I miss how me makes me feel. I started to cry harder… why did I always have to be on the losing end of things? Why was I always the one to have stuff taken away from me? It just wasn't right… I was crying so hard I started to hiccup and have trouble breathing. When someone put a hand on my shoulder and I jumped ten feet in the air and back up against my wall on the other side of the room.
Leon was in my room. I turned my face away. 'Why are you here? Haven't you done enough?' I signed.
I could feel him start to approach me. He turned my head back towards him. 'Baby, I am NOT cheating on you with your brother! Do you really think I'm the type of person that would do that?' Leon asked.
I pushed him away. 'Don't call me baby… and no, I didn't think you would do something like that… which is why I feel like I'm being stabbed in the heart over and over and over.' I replied.
'Sora, I need to show you something.' Leon said and took my arm gently.
I ripped it back. 'Don't touch me. Don't you ever touch me!' I signed angrily.
Leon sighed before saying. 'You are going to feel like a giant dick after this.' He threw me over his shoulder and I tired to wiggle from his hold but he gripped me tightly.
I cried as he carried me down the stairs and out of the house.
He placed me on his bike and I couldn't look at him as he put my helmet on. He got on his bike and I wrapped my arms around him only because I didn't want to fall off the bike and die.
We drove for five minutes and my eyes widened when I noticed the basketball court.
My family, the starter team, Riku, Cloud, even Mr. Sephiroth were standing behind a giant banner that said:
CONGRATULATIONS SORA! YOU MAKE US PROUD!
… Are you fucking kidding me? I started to cry again when Leon's bike stopped.
I took off my helmet and covered my face in shame. Leon was right… I did feel like a dick, a fucking huge one.
Leon grabbed my chin for my attention. 'Roxas, Zell, and I planned this from the beginning. At first we planned it at my place. But then Roxas said that I wouldn't have enough space… so I had to reserve this entire court for a whole day. I wanted to buy foods that you liked so I took Roxas with me to the groceries. Roxas and I texted each other just to make sure things were going smoothly. I wasn't cheating on you. I couldn't talk with you because I was afraid I'd let it slip. If I had known you would freak out on me I would have just told you.' Leon explained.
'Did my parents know about it?' I sighed.
'We didn't tell them until the day of because Roxas knew they would give it away.' Leon signed.
'I just wish I didn't catch on to the things that I did catch on to… you have to admit, from my point of view it did seem really suspicious.' I signed.
Leon nodded. 'I know… and that's why I'm not really mad at you.'
'I'm sorry I punched you…' I signed slowly when I noticed the bruise on the side of his eye.
'Yeah… you definitely punched my brains out. That really hurt…' he said and looked at me.
'Do you really want to break up with me?' Leon asked.
I shook me head. 'No… I never wanted to. I just thought I had to.' I signed.
'Is it safe to say that we have now fully reconciled the situation? Can I kiss you without getting the shit smacked out of me?' he signed.
I nodded and wrapped my arms around him. Leon pulled me close and pressed his lips against mine. I ran my hands through his hair and decided I would get the kiss I had wanted for so long.
I forced my tongue inside his mouth and didn't stop kissing him when he made a noise. Leon seemed to finally catch on to what I wanted and took over from there. I lost myself in that kiss and pulled away when I felt a tear run down my face.
'You okay?' Leon asked.
'Yeah… I just really missed this…' I signed meekly.
'Let's party now, shall we? We even bought some basketballs so you and the team could play around.' Leon said.
I smiled. 'Thank you for this…'
A/N: Whoooo…. that took longer than I thought it would.
