"When I've lost who I am

And I can't understand

Why my heart is so broken…

Rejecting your love"

-Shattered

Chapter 6: When I've Lost Who I Am

Disclaimer: I own the plotline, nothing else.

Upon arriving at the Burrow, Harry was practically attacked by Hermione.

"Harry!" she shouted only moments before engulfing him in a nearly painful hug. "How have you been?" Hermione asked as soon as she had released him.

"Alright, I suppose," he shrugged. "A bit out of breath at the moment," he smiled at her.

Hermione's face turned pink, "Sorry, I just haven't seen you since…" she didn't finish her sentence, not that she needed to. Ever since that night, hardly anybody finished what they were trying to say when it came to Ron.

Harry shook his head, "No worries. When did you get here?" he asked her, trying to change the subject.

Taking the hint, she went along with it, "Only ten minutes ago, actually. I arrived just after Luna did."

"Luna?" Harry stopped in his tracks. He and Hermione were following Mr. and Mrs. Weasley inside, but once he remembered that the others had been invited, Harry moved no further. "Who else is here, Hermione?" he asked her.

Staying behind with him, she replied, "Only Luna, Neville, and myself," she reassured him. "Our parents are here as well, along with Fred, George, and Ginny, of course."

Harry nodded his head, still not eager to head inside the Burrow. He knew he was being an idiot. Deep down he knew that nobody blamed him for what happened to Ron, yet that did nothing for how guilty he currently felt. He still didn't like the idea of facing everybody else again.

"Come on, Harry," Hermione gave him a warm smile and gently tugged on his arm. She didn't want her only best friend to feel so terrible. Being that he was basically all she really had left, Hermione felt almost as if it were her duty to make sure he stayed sane. She knew that if anything were to happen to Harry she would fall entirely to pieces. Without both Ron and Harry, she would surely go mad herself.

With that horrid thought in mind, Hermione continued building Harry's confidence in order to finally get him inside the house.

The two Gryffindors were but a few meters away from the front door when Sirius barged through it. Unfortunately, that only caused all the progress Hermione had just made to vanish, thus resulting in Harry running in the opposite direction.

"Harry!" she shouted, about to chase after him. Sirius, however, prevented her from doing so and decided that he should be the one to talk with the distressed teen. And once he got Hermione to reluctantly agree, he ran in the same general direction as his godson, determined to get through to him.

"Harry?" Sirius asked quietly as he rounded the corner the younger boy had previously turned. "Are you out here?"

Sighing, as he did not receive a response, he then decided to use his Animagi dog-senses to sniff Harry out.

…..

It didn't take very long for Sirius to locate Harry after that. Somehow, the teen had managed to climb up into the highest tree that surrounded the Burrow in only a few short seconds. He knew that if it weren't for his canine senses, Harry would have never been found…at least not anytime soon, that is.

Thanking Merlin once more for his lucky Animagus form, Sirius slowly began to climb the tree that led to Harry.

"Hey there, kiddo," he greeted his godson as he had finally gotten himself onto the same branch. Luckily, it was a rather thick one that would easily be able to support the two of them.

Harry looked over at the other man and sighed. When he climbed this massive tree he had hoped not to be found…especially by the person who had managed to.

"Look, Harry," Sirius started, beginning to lose his patience with him, "I know you've been through a great deal this past month, but you need to realize that what took place was completely out of your hands. What happened had absolutely nothing to do with you. If we're pointing fingers here, well then the ones to blame would be my deranged cousin for the loss of your friend and Voldemort for luring you there," he went on, "And with that said, like you, I am not at fault here either, Harry."

The younger Gryffindor looked at his godfather in sheer confusion. "Nobody's accusing you," he told him, "So, what are you getting at?"

"What I'm 'getting at', is the fact that you are blaming me," Harry tried denying it, but Sirius continued before he had the chance, "Maybe not purposely," he added, "But subconsciously, you are."

He shook his head, "No, I'm not," Harry firmly stated, "and your being a prat for even suggesting otherwise. Just because I don't want to talk to you, doesn't mean that I'm blaming you for anything," he huffed.

Sirius stifled a laugh, "Then give me a proper reason," he pried, "as to why you don't want to talk."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Not everything has a reason!" he said, starting to get annoyed. All he wanted was to be left alone for once.

"Everything has a reason," Sirius replied in a calm voice. "You seem to get on with Hermione just fine," he pointed out, "Even Molly and Arthur are able to communicate with you without having to worry about you running away."

"I didn't run away," Harry looked in the opposite direction of his godfather, no longer wanting to face him.

"Yes, you did," he said, not planning on backing down this time. "But I don't care about that right now," Sirius said, "I just want you to talk to me, Harry."

"What do you think we're doing?" Harry snapped, "You followed me all the way up here and ever since we have been doing nothing but talking. You should be happy about it instead of using this time to annoy the hell out of me!" he crossed his arms, thoroughly angered now.

"A one-sided conversation is hardly talking," Sirius reasoned, "Everything I've been trying to tell you for the past five minutes has been ignored," he was starting to lose his cool, "Don't you see? I want you to be able to confide in me, Harry. You should be able to talk with me about anything, yet you've been avoiding me like I haven't taken a bath in weeks!"

Harry couldn't help but to laugh at that, and instead of becoming frustrated, Sirius was glad. He hadn't seen that smile since the boy had visited him at Grimmauld Place last Christmas.

With the tension broken, Sirius took the new formed silence as an opportunity to try and talk with his godson once more, "Have I done something wrong?" he asked. It was a bit childish, but he honestly needed to know and wasn't sure if he had screwed up at some point without realizing it. Afterall, the whole godfather scenario was entirely new to him being that he was locked away for most of the younger boy's life.

Harry just shook his head and looked down at his lap. His previous anger seemed to have shifted into sadness again.

"Can you tell me what's on your mind?" he asked, shifting his weight as he did so. Sitting on an old wooden branch high up in an oak tree wasn't exactly comfortable.

The teen took a deep breath before finally opening up, "It's just," Harry shifted his weight as well and faced his godfather, "Ever since Voldemort showed me those false images of you being tortured, I've been terrified of losing you," he admitted, "And when I thought I actually was, I only ended up losing somebody else that I never expected to…"

Sirius nodded his head. It was all starting to make sense now. "So, you think that if you start to get too close to anybody, you'll end up getting hurt again?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "I suppose…"

"Look," Sirius scooted closer to him and wrapped an arm firmly around his godson's shoulders, "Letting somebody in, having friends that care about you, loving and confiding in others…these are all good things" he told him quite honestly. "Keeping your feelings bottled up isn't, just as running away from the truth isn't." He sighed. "You need to learn how to separate the good from the bad a bit better, kiddo."

"But everything that's supposed to be good ends up leading to me getting hurt one way or another," Harry quietly replied.

"It's supposed to," Sirius said quite bluntly. At Harry's confused look, he elaborated, "Anything in life worth living for comes with its ups and downs. Like, with weddings, you have your occasional divorces. With love you have a few heartbreaks…and with life you encounter death at some point," he gave Harry a squeeze, "Even if it's sooner than you expected to."

Finally, Harry gave him a genuine smile, "You're right," he nodded his head, "I know you are…It's just going to take me some time to get passed this…" Again, Harry looked away, but this time it was in shame.

Carefully, Sirius took his chin and turned his face so that he could meet his godson's emerald eyes with his own. "Nobody expects anything less, Harry. Everybody else, including me, feels what you're feeling right now," he gave Harry another short squeeze, "You aren't alone," he finished.

His eyes brimmed with tears; Harry nodded his head and rested it upon his godfather's shoulders.

"So," Sirius said several moments later, "Will you come live with me now?"

Harry could only laugh.

A/N:Please, let me know what you thought of this chapter!

Next Time: Harry and Hermione visit a place that holds many haunted memories.

Until Then...