LAST TIME:

Ed had half risen out of his seat and was obviously rather frustrated. The armor beside him didn't seem to be faring much better, in fact, at this moment Al was feeling rather betrayed, seeing as the cat that he had fallen out of a train to protect was in fact a rather unhappy older woman.

"What are you talking about? Magic isn't real, you Whack-job! What kind of backwards place is this?" Ed had risen fully from his chair and was now menacingly pointing his blade as the lying Creep who did alchemy with a stick.

, and then mused out loud. "I had no idea our worlds were so different. I assumed there had to be at least a little magic in your world, considering the fact that you obviously have alchemy…although I suppose it is rather different from the alchemy I've seen here…but still…"

"yes. We're Alchemists."

"Fascinating. You see, in my experience Alchemy has been an art that can only be pursued by those who use magic. If that is not the case, then I suppose I was right about the fact that Nicholas was the last great alchemist of this world. You, my boy, are from another." The old man sagely nodded his head, as though he had bestowed some great bit of wisdom on the two brothers.

Ed stared at the man incredulously.

'Oh for fuck's sake. They're all crazy.'

~~~~\

Edward slumped, sinking deep into his chair. Eyes closed, he ran his flesh hand through his hair, sighing exasperatedly.

"Look. I don't have time for this. Just point us towards the nearest train station, and Al and I will get out of your hair." Ed sighed again. 'I may not have a clue where we are, but all trains go somewhere, right? We go far enough, I'm sure we'll find someone who can help us head back to central.'

"I'm afraid I can't do that." Albus replied, looking over the small pair of spectacles perched on his nose at the golden haired boy seated in front of him.

"What!" Ed shot up out of his chair. "Why the Hell NOT?"

"well, you two obviously haven't believed a word I've said. If I send you out to the muggle world I have no doubt you'll reveal your alchemy to those who have no knowledge of such magics." The old man folded his hands together and raised an eye brow at Ed, who bristled.

"FIRST of all, Alchemy is not anything close to being magic. It's a science. You can't just do whatever you want, and you have to follow the rules." Ed glared sourly at the old man's wand and thought to himself 'although you guys seem to have no trouble with rules. None at all.' He grimaced. "And secondly, just about everyone knows what alchemy is. It's not as though we keep it a secret!"

Ed paused, suddenly looking more like the kid he was than a fierce alchemist faced with a problem he didn't understand. "And what the Hell is a Muggle?"

Dumbledore chuckled. "A non-magical person. And I'm afraid that most muggles know nothing of magic."

'Handy.' Ed thought. After all, the old man had just covered another hole in his story. Whereas before Ed could have proven there was no such thing as magic by gathering witnesses of the fact,

Now the man had a clever solution to any encounters Ed could possibly have with NORMAL people. 'Oh no, of course they don't know about magic. They're Muggles! WE don't tell muggles Anyyyyything because they can't do any of the hocus-pocus that we do. Which totally exists. And is in no way fake.' He snorted, half grinning, half grimacing. 'Yeah right.' And now, if the old man was telling the truth about this place being a school (which Ed highly doubted, by the way,) then he'd be facing an enormous amount of people who were positive that yes, magic existed, and yes, they were doing it when they waved a stick in the air. Ed groaned and let his head come to rest heavily in his hands. This was so messed up. He really didn't need this right now, not with all the troubles the homoculi were causing.

The Cat-chimera-he-didn't-know-what-the-hell-she-really-was woman spoke up. "Albus, what exactly do you plan on doing with these two?"

"Alchemists," The old man mused, "are a rare thing these days. Nicholas held his secrets close, and although we know a few things about alchemy there are few who understand the intricacies of the art." He stroked his beard. "The only bits of common knowledge regarding the subject are the philosopher's stone and turning lead into gold."

The two boys sitting in front of him were suddenly very alert. The suit of armor creaked as it leaned forward, eyes burning, and the blonde boy sitting next to it was suddenly sitting very straight, eyes wide. "Common knowledge? The philosopher's stone is common knowledge?" His eyes bulged, and his arms began flailing wildly as he gulped in a deep breath as though he was about to begin shouting, but before he could let loose the suit of armor was suddenly holding him back with a hand over his mouth. The armor ducked his head bashfully.

"Sorry," he began apologetically, "where we come from information about the philosopher's stone is rather…sensitive."

Albus regarded the two thoughtfully.

"Here is no different, details regarding the stone are closely guarded. In fact, the only reason such an artifact became known was because it was brought to my school for safe-keeping a few years ago. "

Alphonse perked up a bit.

"It was here? A real philosopher's stone was here?" He tightened his grip on his struggling brother. "Do you; um…Know where it is now, by any chance?"

Albus sighed, although he didn't stop eying the brothers suspiciously. "Alas, the stone was destroyed soon after it was brought here."

Edward, who had finally managed to free himself from his brother's clutches, almost fell over. "You, you just destroyed it? Just like that?"

"Yes, you see, it was too much of a threat. A dark wizard, seeking the secret to eternal life, even attempted to steal it from within these very walls. We had no choice. The destruction of the stone was by far the best option we had."

"I don't understand." The armor was looking at him as though he'd just turned the world on its head. "it doesn't make any sense, why destroy it? If you wanted to get rid of it, why didn't you just use it up? Build an impossibly big castle, maybe visit a hospital and heal every person you could lay your hands on until it was all used up, do ANYTHING but destroy it. You could have helped so many people, even for a short amount of time. I just don't get it." The armor's glowing red eyes glared at Albus accusingly.

Albus had actually pulled back a bit is surprise. "My dear boy, I'm afraid there seems to have been a misunderstanding. As far as I am aware, the philosopher's stone that existed in this world only had the power to extend a person's life far longer than could ever be natural. There was no healing factor, nor was there a…great castle building factor."

"…Oh." Alphonse looked at the ground.

Edward leaned on the chair next to him. 'Considering what we know about the stone as of now, this philosopher's stone the old geezer is talking about …it could be an incomplete real philosophers stone. After all, homoculi live for years, who's to say the stone can't increase longevity. '

He straightened and fixed the headmaster with a steely golden gaze. "Who made it."

The old man eyed him carefully before he spoke. "My old friend, Nickolas Flamel."

"The dead guy?"

Albus winced. "Yes."

"And he was your friend?"

"…that's what I said, yes."

"sooo…He was your friend, and now he's dead. He didn't happen to leave anything behind for you, did he?"

The headmaster smiled. "as a matter of fact, he did. I was his apprentice for a very short amount of time, his only apprentice. He left me many of his notes, formulas and such, and I happen to have quite a few I made myself while I was working with him."

Ed slouched a bit, fixing the man with a scowl. "You know where I'm going with this, old man."

"Ah, yes. I do believe I have the gist of it. You want those notes, and I want you to stay here. Not forever, of course, but I believe having you around for the next year or so would be most beneficial." He beamed.

Edwards's eyes bulged. "Are you INSANE? We can't stay here for a whole year!"

The smile faded. "well, perhaps not the whole year then. Let's just play it by ear, shall we?"

"Now that that's settled, I'll have a house Elf show you too your rooms, have no fear the notes I promised are already there! I'll see you two tomorrow, bright and early. The house Elves are fixing some delightful eggs and hash-"

'WHAT the hell what the hell what the hell-'Edward's brain had decided it would be a great time to stop working, and Alphonse wasn't doing much better.

Dumbledore had begun herding the boys out of his office before either one had managed to fully snap out of the shock of having an agreement made so suddenly and without their consent when Ed suddenly grabbed his arm. "Wait."

"yes?" Albus asked benevolently, eyes twinkling.

Ed glared. "Before we agree to anything, I'm going to need some kind of proof you're not just some insane old man with a really big house."

Albus laughed."No need to worry my dear boy, no need to worry, I'm sure that can be arranged…first thing in the morning! Go on now!" He shoved them out the door and it slammed shut behind them, leaving Edward and Alphonse at the top of a winding staircase. Ed spun around, furious, hand raised as though he was going to try to punch a hole through the door…and his brother's enormous metal hand gently grasped his arm before he could

"C'mon brother, we might as well wait. Besides, he's going to give us free food in the morning." The armor seemed to smile as Ed's stomach growled." Let's go."

And with that, Alphonse took the first voluntary step into this odd world they'd found themselves in, dragging his protesting brother behind him.

YAY. took me long enough, right? XD

If you see any mistakes, tell me, I'll do my best to fix them.

Feedback would be awesome. If you like it, I'd love to hear why. If you hate it, well, I'd love to hear why as well.

Peace and love, y'all, peace and love.