"Broooother!"

A fuzzy blond head shot up from the nest-like pile of blankets it had been buried in.

"Alphonse?"

"WAKE UP!"

Cringe.

The body attached to the rather tired looking fuzzy blonde head sat up all the way, revealing a very tired and half asleep Edward Elric, clad only in his boxers and a wrinkled white cotton tank-top. Said Elric was now looking around blearily.

He was in one of the rather large red and gold themed rooms the house elves had procured for him and his brother. A room they received after (of course) a long and rather harrowing discussion (read: fight with lots of screaming and a wee bit of violence) over what exactly the house elf was. The stupid thing seemed positive it was exactly what it said it was: A house elf, and most certainly not a chimera of any sort. In fact, it had been rather offended by the notion, and had been most cold to Edward after he had accused it of being such. It had been so offended, in fact, that it refused to speak to him for almost the entire walk to their rooms, a route that traversed some disappearing dark hallways, and, at one point in time, a rather temperamental moving staircase.

Oddly enough, the "house elf" had developed a borderline obsession with Alphonse, and after its "discussion" with Edward, it had managed to obtain the right to come back and clean Alphonse every Sunday. The idea still freaked Edward out a bit, but after the elf had started crying and banging its head on the wall when Al had initially said no…well, he could see why his brother had given in.

Ed yawned and scrubbed at his eyes with his flesh-and-blood hand. What a weird place. Heck, even he, Mr. the-Alchemist-who's-been-fooled-too-many-times-to-count-and-thus-has-developed-a-cynical-side-the-size-of-central was starting to believe the idea of the place being a magic school. Well, not really, but he could see how others might find it easy to believe.

As he shrugged off the last of his sleepiness he gave the room an appraising look. Red and gold, his two signature colors, were draped throughout. Rich gold wallpaper, some soft red velvet curtains around the bed…even the stone fireplace was painted in red and gold, with some very nice red and gold armchairs stationed in front of it. Ah, yes. He took a deep breath and finally slipped from the bed, padding softly through the thick (red) carpet to the bathroom door (also red, with a golden doorknob and some detailed golden finishing around the edge). It was like the fucking room was MADE for him. 'Although' he thought ruefully as he washed his face, 'The place could use a bit more character…red and gold's great, but a nice gargoyle or something would really bring out the "old castle" feel.' Ed shrugged, and after brushing his teeth he strolled leisurely out of the bathroom. Between clenched teeth he held a hair tie, and his arms were stretched out behind him as he slowly braided his hair, careful not to let the golden strands get caught in the hinges of his he was done he carefully held the end of his braid with one hand, bringing it forward over his shoulder while with the other he grabbed the hair tie and in a few practiced motions tied the braid off. He let out a big huff of air, stretching his arms out and shaking them a bit before he reached for his suitcase…which wasn't there. 'Great. Damn cat woman.' He sighed, looking around for his clothes from the day before. There they were! Sitting… folded? '-the HELL-' on the coffee table in front of the fireplace. He walked over and suspiciously sniffed at them, carefully holding himself so he could pull away at a moments notice if they stunk of sweat like he thought they might. He was pleasantly surprised to note that they had actually been washed for him…

'Actually, I take that back.' His shirt smelled of lilacs. Ed wrinkled his nose, pulling back before he sighed, 'better than unwashed teenager.' He began getting dressed, pulling on his leather pants and black tank top, over which he let his short white trimmed black jacket rest. His pair of shoes that most certainly DID NOT have height extensions on them came next. He fished a pair of white gloves out of his bag before dramatically swinging his red cloak around and letting it settle on his shoulders.

He grinned a little and pretended to polish his nails on his shirt before stepping towards the door out of his room. His hand was reaching for the doorknob when he paused, rubbing his chin. A thoughtful look crept over his face before his eyes gleamed with mischief and a sly grin slipped across his lips. He clapped his now gloved hands together and quickly touched the wall before he opened the door to his bedroom and stepped out into the little common-room area that joined his room with Al's, red cloak swirling in his wake.

Behind him, as the door swung closed, an evil looking spiked gargoyle with a face that looked suspiciously like his own grinned, with another just like it stationed in each corner of the room.

(Line break, breaking the line)

Edward let his hand drag heavily over his face before he looked up. "Really, Al? Another cat? Wasn't the last one bad enough? How can you be sure that this one's not a wacky human in disguise, too?"

Alphonse looked up from where he'd been crouching on the floor, a struggling feline trapped in his arms. "Aw, come on brother, I think this one's normal! Look, at her, isn't she cute?" He thrust the hissing and spitting cat into his brother's face, who took a step back so he wouldn't be sliced to ribbons by her claws. The rather ratty old thing was fighting for all she was worth, but making no headway against Al's armor.

"riiight. Al, that thing looks rabid. Go put it back wherever you found it."

Alphonse made no sign of having heard anything, carefully cuddling the mangy cat in his arms and cooing at it while it tried to take his head off.

Ed felt a vein pulse on his temple. "Al…" No response. Ed tugged on his braid in frustration before he carefully leaned over his brother's shoulder to get a closer look at the cat. Upon seeing a face that wasn't made of impenetrable metal, the cat attempted to launch herself to freedom. Ed jerked backwards, falling to the ground as his brother's arm shot out and grabbed the evil furball before it could escape. Al snuck a quick look at his stunned brother before he whipped back around and started petting the cat in his arms once again, shoulders hunched up as he acted like nothing had happened.

Ed raised an incredulous eyebrow as he took in the solid view of his brother's back. "Are you kidding me?" He exclaimed. Al said nothing. "Al! What the hell is your problem!" still slapped a hand over his eyes. The damned kid was still ignoring him. Just because Al was taller than him did NOT mean he could get away with anything he wanted!

"C'mon, Al! Take that thing outside before it starts foaming at the mouth! NOW!"

Al turned his head and looked at Ed petulantly before pointedly turning back to the cat.

"SERIOUSLY?" Ed fumed. "ALRIGHT ya stupid tin can, that's it!" He jumped up from the ground and started pushing on Al's back with all his might, trying to get his brother over to the door. "Put. It. OUT!"

Alphonse, of course, hardly moved an inch.

Ed let out a hiss of frustration and clapped his hands together. If Alphonse had had eyes, they would have widened in surprise. As it was, he merely gave off the air of a very surprised suit of armor as he found himself hauled out of the room by a chunk of rock shaped like a fist.

Edward stomped heavily out of the enormous hole in the wall the fist had made and glared at his brother, now hanging upside down in the hallway.

"Put the cat down, Al." he hissed, eyes narrowed, looking very much like a pissed-off cat himself.

Al's eyes glowed in desperation. "NO!" He shouted, and suddenly Edward was the one upside down, the remnants of a chalk transmutation circle visible on the vine-like stream of rock that held him suspended in the air by his ankle. Ed glowered at his brother before clapping and flipping himself up so he could touch his hands to the rock on his ankle. He flipped in midair and landed on one knee, but before he could say anything he had to evade the spike suddenly hurtling towards him, courtesy of a pissed-off little brother.

"You never let me keep cats, and I get that. I know why, brother!" Alphonse hesitated before standing up straight and looking pleadingly at Ed. "but now we're actually going to be staying in once place for a while! Now's the perfect time! Please, brother!"

Ed, now balancing on the top of a spike, tensed up. "Oh hell no! C'mon Al, I know how this works! You're going to get attached to the stupid thing, and then when we leave we're going to have to take it with us, and you KNOW we can't do that!"

Al's shoulders drooped, and he gave his brother the most betrayed face he'd ever seen. One that almost made him rethink his decision about the cat (heck, he hadn't even known it was possible for a suit of armor to look that hurt!). And then Al opened the panel in the front of his chest and chucked the cat inside, getting into a fighting stance. His brow seemed to lower, and now the armor looked quite menacing.

Ed let out an indignant squawk as the spike he'd been balancing on dissolved into the floor and he laded on his butt. "Owww, Al, thanks a lot, I think I just bruised my ass!"

Grumbling about stupid little brothers too big for their own good Ed stood up again. All of a sudden his face lit up and he pointed at Al's chest, snickering. "ya know, Al, I don't think you're really making that cat like you very much." He could hear yowling and what sounded like furious scratching from inside the armor. For a second he could have sworn Al was blushing, but then Who-knows-how-many pounds of furious little brother was hurtling towards him.

Ed ducked, clapping and slamming his hands on the floor as he created an enormous slide, taking both himself and his brother down a floor. He jumped up the second his feet touched the floor, while Al was still sliding and disoriented and clapped once more, creating a box of stone and trapping his brother inside. Grinning, he walked over and made a hole in the side so he could see in…only to discover the box was empty. He whirled around just in time to see stone hands reaching for his arms. He backpedaled furiously out of the way and started running down the hall, following the metal footseps he could hear echoing ahead of him. All of a sudden, they stopped. Ed froze and looked around. He heard a whooshing sound and looked up, seeing only stone. He looked down again, only to discover he was in the same sort of box he'd created for his brother.

"HA HA, VERY FUNNY AL!" he yelled, clapping his hands and grabbing onto the enormous spike that was now growing out of the box's remains. He put up a hand to shade his eyes from the …candle-light… (it was a reflex, okay?) and looked out. Nothing. He waited. No sound. Fiery golden eyes narrowed and his gloved hands tightened on the spike he had created, waiting for something to happen- when he heard the odd Velcro-like sound of a transmutation. He tensed and suddenly he was falling. The floor had disappeared! He tried to let go of the spike he was holding onto but he was now stuck quite tight, in fact, it looked like someone had merged the seam on the right side of his clothing with the spike, and his automail hand was now deeply imbedded in the rock. Edwards eye twitched. When the HELL had he found the time to do all this?

"ALPHONSE!" he roared in anger as he and the spike plummeted to the ground, his red cloak billowing up around his face, obscuring his vision. His entire body jerked with the shock of the fall, and he winced as the port on his arm was stretched in a way it really wasn't supposed to go. He couldn't see a thing! His damned red cloak had fallen over his head and after wrestling with it for a few seconds he decided he couldn't get it off with only one hand. Cursing, he fumbled in his pocket for a piece of chalk. He could feel the spike of rock, which must have been about 20 feet tall (hey, those hallways had tall ceilings), start to lean and so he quickly scratched out a circle, letting the palm of his flesh hand slam onto it in a crackling flash of blue light just in time to stop the spike from falling over. He cursed again, and quickly scratched out another circle so he could free himself from the rock. Clothing and rock was kind of tricky, and he usually didn't like messing with his stuff like that. Grumbling he used his now free automail hand to flip his cloak back so he could see and then the blond braced his feet against the rock and, standing up, slid down the sloping spike to the ground. He huffed and started patting down his clothing, trying to brush away loose bits of rubble and dust.

Before he was done, he heard an odd clanging sound and whipped his head around to pinpoint where it had come from, his now messy blond braid swinging around to slap him in the back of the neck.

He froze, eyes wide. In front of him, mouths open in surprise, was a table full of people who appeared to be having, well, breakfast. His stomach let out a loud growl, as, off on the right of the table, a jolly looking plump woman in brown and green dropped her fork. A clanging sound rang out as it clattered against her plate. 'Ah, that's what that sound must have been' he mused absently. Now that he'd looked up, he found himself too preoccupied with the room he was now in to really give the thought much attention.

On each side of him were two enormous wooden tables, each equipped with quite a few matching wooden benches. Above each table was a banner. The first was sewn in green and silver, a delicate snake coiled in the center; the second was sewn in blue, and a copper, well, maybe bronze, color. The two colors created the outline of some kind of bird, a crow or raven or something, and then there was one in red and gold with what looked like some kind of chimera rearing up like those old family crests with lions on them. The last one was black and yellow, with the picture of a… 'Is that a badger?' Ed asked himself incredulously. 'What the hell?' he scratched his head. 'Probably some sort of coat of arms for the school, although why have four?' suddenly he paled. 'oh fuck.' The tables were quite large…could it be that the school was large enough that it needed to be split up so it could actually give students a chance of competing in sports? Of course, something like that could also happen if a school was too out of the way to find another school it could compete with…Damn. Either way, this school would need to be attended by a quite a few more people than he'd been hoping there would be. He sure hoped he was wrong, because if he wasn't, he had a bigger problem on his hands than he'd thought.

Someone cleared their throat up at the table in the front of the room. Ed looked back at it. 'Well, waddaya know.' The old coot Bumble-something-or-other was sitting in the center of the table. He cleared his throat once more and looked at Ed over the rims of his glasses.

"Why hello, Edward. I see you took the liberty of finding your way down to the great hall on your own. I had sent a house elf up to your rooms for such a purpose…"

'Oh yeah.' Edward scratched the back of his head sheepishly, glancing up at the enormous hole in the ceiling of the room while the rest of the…well, he assumed they were teachers, looked on in awe at the destruction.

"Sorry about that…" he coughed nervously. "We were just…um…"

"BROTHER?" Alphonse's call echoed through the room, breaking a few of the teachers out of their stupors. Ed looked up. "Down here, Al!" he yelled, cupping a hand around his mouth so the sound would go further.

There was the quiet scratching sound of chalk on stone, and his brother came sliding down a pillar of rock in much the same way Ed had, although this Elric had a cat clutched in his arms.

"Brother, look at her! She's all calm now, can you really say-" he shut up as Ed grabbed his arm and turned him towards the table full of shocked faculty.

"Um…Hello there!" Al's childishly awkward voice echoed through the silent hall, before a choked gasp was heard.

"Mrs. Norris!" A ragged old man rushed awkwardly over to the two boys, muttering in concern. Ed wrinkled his nose in disgust. The seedy old man literally stank.

"MR. Filch!" came a concerned call from the head table. The old man paused, then wheeled around and glared at the Headmaster in an odd kind of hurt fury. He whipped out his arm and pointed at the rubble on the ground of the great hall.

"I ain't cleaning that up sir, no way should I 'ave to clean that up and you know it!" his warbly voice echoed through the hall as he turned around and rushed the rest of the way over to where "Mrs. Norris" lay ensconced in Al's arms.

"Hey pops, no worries with that, we can clean up our own mess!" Ed said loudly, a little offended.

Mr filch slowed a few feet away from Alphonse and eyed them guardedly. "Can you really?" he queried roughly, his gravely voice suspicious.

Alphonse nodded, "Of course! Brother and I are alchemists you know, we can clean something like this up no problem!"

The man, who Ed supposed was a janitor of some sort, gave them an odd sort of look, that kind of reminded Ed of the way he and Al must have looked after a few days on that island Teacher had left them on…the Starving-animal-faced-with-adorable-bunny-as-food look. You don't wanna do it, but you'd rather kill a bunny than starve. It was plain "Mr. Filch" had no love for them, and it looked like he didn't really want their help at all, but faced with cleaning it up himself and having them do it for him, there was no doubt he'd pick them, hands down.

Creeping closer, Mr. filch peered carefully at Mrs. Norris, and, apparently dubbing her unharmed, snatched her out of Al's reluctant arms. He glared at them for a moment, his gaze snapping up and down between his calm and apparently content cat, and the two brothers, before he turned away, muttering "Well, if Mrs. Norris likes them, and they clean up after themselves, I suppose it'll be all right…"

Ed looked after the man in confusion as he headed back towards the head table. 'I think we just made a friend.' He thought incredulously, before grimacing and shaking his head.

'And ya' know, I'm pretty sure the only reason that cat is at all calm right now is because She was knocked around so much she's got a concussion.'

Sighing, Ed patted his brother's arm.

"Don't worry Al, there'll be other cats."

"I know." Alphonse sighed, looking up tearfully at the hole in the ceiling. "None like her, though."

Ed's eyebrow twitched as he tried to smile.

(Chapter END)

Woo. Dang, that chapter was a whole heck of a lot longer than the other ones I put up. Just sat down and wrote it for no apparent reason today. Gotta love those random urges.

First vaguely fight-ish scene EVER. :D

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